"You enjoyed watching that, didn't you?" William groaned, sitting beside the sigil painted from his own blood by the now-frozen Auracea. "Also, why is she frozen? If you're going to tell me something, wouldn't it be better for her to hear it too?"

  "No, this is much more entertaining!" the god cackled. "Besides, this next part can't be influenced by her in any way, and we can just save her sass for after all the selections are over. No one needs to hear that much compining, and I’m sure she'll be full of it by the time you're done! You two seem to be the best of friends."

  William rolled his eyes. "I don’t disagree with you, but I think we’re partners, not friends. More like a shaky alliance between a cockroach and a nuclear warhead. Anyway, what does the dice roll mean?"

  Zephar gave him a ft stare.

  "You really need to stop beating me to your own insults. Things are far less entertaining when you do my job for me, my boy! Now, where were we? Oh, yes, the dice. Well, now that you and the nuke have signed the contract, we can move to the next step! Rolling for pnetary bonuses!"

  Zephar ughed as he brought out a single glowing die, but it was William’s turn to give a ft stare.

  "You’re going to roll for me? Do you not remember what happened the st time you used those things?" William asked with the enthusiasm of a parent whose child has just pulled out a pair of scissors. "The second roll nearly killed me. You missed, sure, but you also made our sun vanish like some magic trick, and then spawned giant bees, pizza tornadoes, and treadmills of doom. I’m sure you rolled something good at some point, but your track record this past week has me wondering if you’re just here to finish what you started."

  Zephar grinned. "Yes, well, my track record isn’t the best, BUT!"

  Suddenly, the underground forest transformed into what looked like the set of a giveaway TV show. William found himself standing at a podium.

  Up on stage, a cloud of smoke erupted, and Zephar appeared. His jester mask still covered his face, but his board shorts had been traded for a bck-and-white vertically striped suit with an obnoxiously rge, three-foot-wide glittering bow tie.

  "As my chosen mortal, I’m giving you the gift of choice. Not only are you getting a pnet, but you get a chance to shape it however you want!" the god ughed. Then, a golden glowing d6 die fell out of thin air and nded on William’s podium. "I can only affect the outcome of human life with my Infinity Dice, which is just you now. But that’s what makes it exciting! We’ll see how your little project shapes up. And if you manage to pull off the impossible, I’ll reward you with a special prize!"

  William blinked at the single glowing die, then at the god. "Do I have a choice in this matter?"

  "No more than I do, but I don’t suggest keeping the dice waiting. If you think you can outwait them, think again," Zephar warned, summoning another die identical to William’s, but this one wasn’t glowing. "If you take too long, the dice will roll on their own, and that’s the st thing you want. Without direction, you have no idea what you’ll get. The dice have infinite possibilities, but one thing is certain—it won’t be helpful."

  That was enough convincing for William, and he scooped up the die. The moment he touched it, a message appeared in his mind, listing the item’s name and description.

  God Tool: Infinity DieDescription: The Infinity Die has infinite possibilities and must be rolled when glowing. The wielder's level of want, need, and desire helps direct the outcome. The stronger these emotions, the more likely the Infinity Die will grant the request. However, if the wielder is indecisive, the die will roll randomly. Current Status: Level 1: Control in guiding the Infinity Die is negligible at best. 75% chance of a negative outcome.

  "Oh, great. Now I get one of these world-ending golden cubes. And look—I'm almost guaranteed to fail on my first throw. What’s the point of the number on it?"

  "Suck it up, princess! You're just rolling for bonuses, so you aren’t likely to get something bad," Zephar said, pulling on his enormous glittering bow tie as a crystal podium with a mic appeared in a cloud of smoke. "That’s not to say your bonus will be all good either, but it’ll be much worse if you don’t start rolling!"

  "Okay, okay! I get it," William said, shaking the die between his thumb and forefinger before tossing it.

  As the die flew through the air, William realized that he had no clue what he was even rolling for—but it was too te now.

  It nded with a thud, and a message appeared in his mind, also dispyed on a massive screen beside Zephar.

  First Roll: War Species Evolutionary Tree – Space OtterOutcome: A new species capable of surviving without heat or oxygen has been added to your world, and you gain access to the "Gene Warping" ability. Species: Space Otter Appearance: The Space Otter is a small aquatic mammal, standing at just 4 feet tall. It resembles an otter, but its tail is long and serpentine, allowing it to move through space with ease. Strengths: The Space Otter has a unique biology that allows it to survive in the vacuum of space. It absorbs and stores sor energy, and its thick fur insutes against the cold. It also produces oxygen through a symbiotic retionship with a pnt-like organism growing on its body, which feeds on dark matter. Weaknesses: While resistant to cold, Space Otters cannot survive prolonged exposure to high temperatures.

  William and Zephar looked at each other—and both burst into ughter, then tears.

  "That’s it? I get Space Otters? Weak to fire?Absorbing sor energy on a pnet without a sun? A war species? Are we killing people with cuteness, or is this just another reminder that I’m destined to be insignificant?" William ughed, wiping tears from his cheeks.

  Zephar cackled. "I mean, at least they’re not going to try eating you. That’s a win in my book. Very easy way to die when you’re the only food source, but these babies feed on something you can’t even see—"

  "Like my dignity?" William finished.

  Zephar threw up his hands. "Okay, you’re not allowed to do that! No finishing my sentences, or I’ll try even less next time I roll!"

  William gave him a look as cool as an overweight naked cucumber. "Make my day, Sparkles."

  Zephar sighed. "This might be more entertaining if you actually knew what was going on. Or maybe I’m just getting tired of your constant nihilism."

  "I am an expert at that," William confirmed with a nod.

  "Right, so here’s the deal," Zephar said, his tone turning more serious.

  "The dice—while they can grant you amazing gifts—are more likely to give you something useless. Or harmful. The fact that you got Space Otters that don’t want to eat you is a win! You even got Gene Warping! More random!"

  "Sure, sure. Random is good," William said.

  "But it has a chance to give you something you need—if you just focus! You hold the tool of a god! The possibilities are endless!"

  William snorted. "So, I have the tool, and a tool in a pinstripe suit with a… Why is that bow tie so big and sparkly? Are you overcompensating for something?"

  Zephar narrowed his eyes. "Unlike you, I have style!"

  William ignored him. "Just tell me what I’m rolling for next."

  Zephar let out an exaggerated sigh, drumming his fingers against the edge of his podium. The glowing dice on William’s own pedestal began to pulse with an eerie golden light, signaling that it was time for another roll.

  “Fine, fine, no deals—yet,” Zephar said with a smirk. “But you’ve got to admit, our banter is what makes this whole mess bearable. Imagine if it were just you and Auracea. That sounds like pure misery.”

  William pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m already miserable, so what’s the difference?”

  Zephar chuckled. “See, that’s where you’re wrong! Right now, you have a one-in-four chance of pulling something actually useful, a two-in-four chance of getting something neutral or weird, and a one-in-four chance of getting totally screwed over. Isn’t that exciting?”

  “No,” William deadpanned, picking up the die. “What am I even rolling for?”

  “Pnetary anomalies,” Zephar replied. “We’re talking things that will shape your world permanently. Think natural disasters, strange biomes, new ws of physics, maybe even some eldritch nonsense! I hope you’re ready, because whatever you roll, you’re stuck with it!”

  William exhaled sharply, feeling the weight of the die in his palm. He could feel something inside it shifting, an intangible force responding to the smallest flicker of his thoughts.

  If I get another useless roll like the Space Otters, I swear to—

  He stopped mid-thought.

  Wait. Could that affect the roll?

  Zephar had said the dice responded to need, want, and desire. If William actually focused on what he wanted, would that increase his chances of rolling something useful?

  It was worth a shot.

  He closed his eyes, focusing on what a pnet actually needed. He wasn’t asking for some overpowered cheat or divine blessing—just something practical. A stable climate, maybe a unique resource that wouldn’t screw him over in the long run.

  With that in mind, he rolled.

  The die tumbled through the air, spinning unnaturally fast before nding with a heavy thud on the podium.

  The massive screen behind Zephar flickered to life, dispying the result in bright golden letters.

  Second Roll: Pnetary Anomaly – Immortal RainOutcome: Your pnet now experiences a phenomenon known as Immortal Rain. Water collected from this rain does not evaporate, nor does it age or become impure over time. This liquid retains any magical or alchemical properties it is exposed to, allowing it to be infused with power indefinitely. However, once collected, it can never be removed from a container by natural means.

  William blinked.

  Zephar burst out ughing.

  “Ahahaha! Oh, that’s a weird one! You basically got an infinite potion farm if you can figure out how to process it, but good luck getting it out of a cup once you pour it in!”

  William exhaled slowly, shaking his head. At first gnce, it seemed like an annoying but ultimately useful perk. If he could figure out a way to extract the liquid, he could have an endless supply of enchanted water. But if not… well, then he’d have an entire pnet covered in undrainable magic puddles.

  “Yeah, okay,” William muttered. “Not terrible. Not great, but not the worst thing that could’ve happened.”

  “Oh, don’t worry,” Zephar grinned. “You’ve got more rolls to go! Let’s see how weird this world is gonna get!”

  William sighed, already regretting this entire process.

  And yet, despite himself, he couldn't deny that a small part of him was actually curious.