“Looking for loot. You need to check this shit out without having to touch it, right? Well, I can grab the gear, and you won’t get penalized. If you see something you want, you can pick it up.”
“Is that right, Nero? If Coop touches something, will it get the same value debuff as when I touch it?”
[Nero] No. Coop will be able to acquire loot without incurring the Penny Pincher Self-Inflicted Tax debuff. She does, however, share the limits of your inventory, meaning that you are only able to hold one hundred items total between you. Also, if Coop passes an item from her inventory to yours, it will incur the debuff and will consequently drop in value immediately.
“Okay then,” Pete said. “Let’s do it.”
Coop poked her head out of the hobgoblin’s pocket and spat something that looked like a tattered teddy bear with one button eye missing and the other badly chipped and scratched. The ferret coughed and spluttered, her body still inside the pocket.
“You wanted trash loot,” she said. “Looks like you’re gonna get your wish.”
Without waiting for a reply, she ducked back inside and started rummaging around in the pocket, emerging a few moments later with several other items of dubious origin and worth. Pete bent down and examined the dead brute as Coop moved to the dead hobgoblin’s other pocket.
The various jewelry items piercing the hobgoblin’s flesh were all green rarity or higher, so he left those as they were and instead moved over to the other corpse nearby. After a good ten minutes of solid work, Coop had assembled a pile of items. Given that they were close enough for Pete to touch, he was able to see the relative rarity of each item, and a list of the objects appeared on his HUD.
>> GRAY RARITY OBJECTS
+| Cracked Orcish Tooth: Tied to a bit of string, carried as a lucky charm.
+| One Hug Coupon: Charcoal-scrawled chit redeemable only with “Mom.”
+| Half-Eaten Rat-on-a-Stick: Greasy, spoiled, barely edible.
+| Singed Teddy Bear Named “Bobo”: Missing an eye, faint smell of smoke.
+| Pamphlet: Ten Things You Need to Know about Hoomans: Folded, unread, and badly written.
+| Pouch of Toenail Clippings: Not all of them belong to the same hobgoblin.
+| A Single Bone Die: Crude carving with only two sides: “1” and “Kill.”
>> GREEN RARITY ITEMS
+| Goblin IOU Chit: Signed in blood, promises “fifty Belch Bucks, or my spleen.”
+| Metal Studs x 15: Fashioned from smelted Belch Bucks and other currency.
+| Shrunken Goblin Skull pendant: The wearer gains +5 fearsome status when fighting against Goblin Scrappers if they can see the skull.
+| Torgul’s Debt Collectors – Mismatched set of two coin-punched blades.
There were other items, but Pete’s attention was drawn immediately to the twin daggers resting inside a pair of sheaths which were connected by a thin chain. He reached for the weapons, stopping short of touching them.
“Nero, can I get an idea of how much these items are gonna be worth without touching them?”
[Nero] No, Pete. You will need to pick them up. While Coop is able to acquire these objects, it seems that she is unable to determine their worth, likely because of her role as a soulbound companion rather than a contestant in her own right.
While he was still staring at the blades, Sam came walking over, grinning. She threw a thumb over her shoulder. “Cleared out as much as I could from the hobgoblin buggies. Not much there though. But I did find a bunch more trash loot for you if you want it.”
Pete nodded. “Yeah, I’ll take it.” He turned to face her. “Hey, can you do me a favor and pick these up? I wanna see how valuable they are and what kinds of stats they’ve got.”
She bent down and scooped up the daggers. “You thinking of going the full stealth and stab rogue?”
“Yeah. If I can figure out how to use my stealth consistently, it could be a really good combo.”
Sam narrowed her eyes. “Is that what you did back there with that hobgoblin? You got some kind of stealth with the Penny Pincher class?”
He pointed at the blades. “Show me what those can do, and I’ll explain.”
She nodded, bringing up the details of the weapon so that everyone could see.
>> ITEM ACQUIRED [Green Rarity]: Torgul’s Debt Collectors (Paired Blades)
A mismatched set of coin-forged blades: one long, thin dirk built for thrusting into vital spots, and one broad, weighty knife made for deflecting strikes and battering aside defenses.
Though widely rumored to have belonged to the legendary hobgoblin debt collector Torgul Fang, the story is false—these weapons were forged by common raiders and passed from one hand to the next. Still, the name alone inspires dread among those who’ve heard tavern tales of “debts paid in blood.”
+| Primary Damage Type: Piercing (Long Dirk)
+| Secondary Damage Type: Slashing/Bludgeoning (Broad Knife)
SPECIAL ABILITIES:
>> Debt Thrust: The long dirk deals an additional +10% Piercing damage to targets that have taken damage within the last 5 seconds.
>> Balance Owed: The broad knife reduces incoming melee damage by 5% when used to block or deflect.
>> Settled Account (Combo): Striking with the long dirk followed immediately by the broad knife deals bonus damage equal to 2% of the target’s missing health.
>> First Cut’s Free: The first attack made in an encounter deals +25% bonus damage.
>> Silent Collection: Attacks from stealth with the long dirk deal an additional +30% damage and inflict a minor Bleed effect (damage over 6 seconds).
CURRENT EXCHANGE VALUE: 2100 Belch Bucks
“That’s a lot of cash, dude,” Sam said. “You sure you wanna burn all that coin just for a couple of knives?”
Pete nodded. “I kind of do.” He pulled the large machete from his inventory and showed it to her. “This damn thing hits like a truck, but it’s too heavy.”
“Yeah, but on the other hand, you’ll be dropping almost 2000 bucks the second you pick them up, and aren’t we supposed to be getting soulbound weapons when we reach the novice arena anyway?”
[Nero] Correct. You will both be given the opportunity to choose a sole weapon during your first arena contest. It should be noted, however, that there is still a good deal of time until you reach that point, and you will face several enemies, no doubt. Any advantage you can gain in this early part of the competition would be beneficial.
“And that’s my point,” Pete said. “These things do additional damage when you fight from stealth and with the first attack in any encounter, right? That gives us a huge advantage if I can stealth in and hit first.”
Sam nodded, but he could see from the look on her face that she wasn’t sold on the idea just yet. He wondered how this would go if he couldn’t convince her. Technically, she held the item now, so he couldn’t take it from her by force and wouldn’t want to anyway. He’d have to convince her that this was the right way to go, even though Pete himself wasn’t completely sure why he was so driven to take the daggers.
He supposed it was years of online gaming with fantasy-style melee characters that told him on some deep level that stealth and daggers mixed with a hefty amount of agility was an insanely good combination if you played it right.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“The thing is, though,” Sam said, “you keep getting injured. And if you go with the daggers, you’re always going to need to be close to do damage. That means you’re likely to get more injured.”
Pete nodded. He hadn’t considered that, and she was completely correct. He had a single shield to mitigate damage, but that only lasted for one strike before the cooldown set in. Then there was also the fact that each successful kill would see him rewarded with at least a small amount of money. The moment that happened, his stealth ability would drop unless he could quickly get rid of the coin he’d earned.
With this kind of setup, he could sneak in and deal one or two savage strikes against an enemy. Potentially, this would be enough to kill a single enemy very quickly, but the moment he did that and the reward came through, his stealth would drop, and he’d be left vulnerable and up close to the enemy. There was another option, though, coming from a slightly different approach, which would allow him better survivability while still being able to do maximum damage in the initial phase of a fight.
“Nero, can I throw these knives? I mean, can I throw them a decent distance and strike from range?”
[Nero] You can, of course. The same damage bonuses should apply whether you throw or thrust the weapons at an enemy.
“Yeah, but will they come back to me? Can I use some kind of ability to just throw the knives and then respawn them?”
[Nero] If you throw the knives and you want to repeat the exercise, you will have to go and pick them up again. My suggestion would be, if you don’t want to lose the knives, don’t throw them in the first place. In addition, while you can throw the knives, they are not specifically designed to be aerodynamically sound. They play effectively at close range but will be increasingly less effective the further the distance you have to throw them, simply because they are less likely to connect with the enemy in the right way.
Pete let out a sigh as he realized that the blades would lock him into a form of combat that greatly increased his likelihood of being injured. He’d need to carry a bunch of medkits everywhere he went just to keep himself ticking, and the risk of getting taken out without being able to get his hands on a medkit in time wasn’t something he could take lightly.
“I might have another option,” Sam said with a smile.
The daggers disappeared as they dropped into her inventory, and a new item appeared in her hands.
It was a bow that looked a little on the small side, fashioned from some kind of dark wood with what looked like brass caps on either end of the main section. There were chips in the wood here and there and obvious signs of use, and the weapon came with a roughly crafted leather quiver that had the distinction of including several goblin features, which were more than a little disturbing.
“Christ on a bike!” Coop barked, staring up at the quiver. “Is that a nose?”
Pete leaned forward and inspected the quiver more closely. It did indeed look like a nose that had been stitched in as part of the design. He also saw the ragged edges of a small goblin mouth, two eyebrows sitting at odd angles, and other features that suggested that whoever had fashioned the quiver had used the face of a dead goblin for at least some of the leather.
“I found it in the back of one of the hobgoblin cars,” Sam said. “I don’t think they used it. Must have just swiped it from some goblins and thrown it in the back with a bunch of other junk.”
“I think there’s an eye on the other side,” Cooper said, managing to wear a look of disgust as she walked around the hovering object. “It also smells... weird. But that could just be because I’m in Pickle’s body.”
Pete shook his head, smiling. “Nah, I can smell it too. It kind of smells like wet dog. Could be worse, I guess.”
Sam nodded. “Oh yeah, a hell of a lot worse. Just take a sniff in the back of those hub gobble and buggies. It smells like the devil’s anus in there.”
“Okay then,” Pete said, shaking his head. “Can you bring up the stats?”
Sam nodded, and the information appeared on their displays.
>> ITEM ACQUIRED [Green Rarity]: Griknak’s Shadow Fang (Composite Longbow)
Goblin raiders claim Griknak never trusted coin alone. This bow, they say, was strung not to tally profit but to collect what no debtor could escape—pain. Every shot hums like the scrape of a ledger being balanced, every kill another line struck clean across a page that only Griknak himself could read.
+| Primary Damage Type: Piercing (Arrow)
+| Secondary Damage Type: Melee Slashing and Stabbing (Melee use of arrows)
CONSTRUCTION:
>> Frame: Carved from Ironwood of Grobnar, a twisted hardwood found only on the goblin homeworld.
>> Caps: Ends bound in beaten Belch Bucks coin-metal, hammered flat and polished to resemble dull brass.
>> String: Fashioned from the gut lining of the Dregmaw Beast, notorious for its unnatural resilience and tension.
>> Quiver: Comes with 30 enchanted arrows, expandable up to 100 as the bow levels with its wielder.
SPECIAL ABILITIES:
>> First Claim: The first arrow loosed in combat deals +35% bonus damage and gains an increased +20% crit chance.
>> Silent Collection: Attacks from stealth deal an additional +25% damage and inflict bleed (light damage over 10 seconds).
>> Compound Interest: Each consecutive hit on the same target within 8 seconds adds +3% bonus damage (stacking up to +15%).
>> Griknak’s Mark: Critical strikes have a 10% chance to “mark” the enemy, causing all subsequent arrows from allies to deal +5% bonus damage against that foe for 5 seconds.
CURRENT EXCHANGE VALUE: 2600 Belch Bucks
“Pretty impressive, right?” Sam said.
Pete nodded. “Hell yeah, the stats look great. But I’ve never shot a bow in my life.”
Coop snorted from nearby. “Well, hell, son. What kind of man hasn’t shot a bow?”
He frowned down at her. “I live in the burbs, Coop. I work a desk job and go to the gym or play basketball when I want a workout. I’m not the go-out-in-the-woods, survivalist kind of guy. It’s just not my thing.”
“But you’ve never shot a bow, ever?” Sam asked.
“And you have?” he fired back.
“Yes. Of course. My uncle owns a ranch, and he’s got a bunch of guns and bows and shit down there. I used to play around with them when we went to the ranch on holidays.”
“Well, maybe you should take the bow then?”
“I’m not the one with some fancy stealth bonus. You want a way to do damage from a distance so that you don’t get crushed, so something like this is your best bet.”
Pete nodded. “I agree. I’m just saying that I have no skill with a bow at all. I can fight with a knife, but surely there’s going to be a learning curve with a bow like this?”
[Nero] Your proficiency level will be very low; however, you can increase this with practice. While I agree that the daggers and the machete are easier weapons to use for a novice, using a blade and using it well are two entirely different things. From what I have observed, your proficiency level with bladed weaponry is not significant. To date, you have faced enemies that are relatively slow and not particularly gifted in combat: the hobgoblins and their smaller cousins are brutish and dull-witted. If you come across more sophisticated enemies, your blade skills will need to significantly increase; otherwise, you will face the possibility of severe injury repeatedly during an encounter.
“Well,” Pete said, “that’s a little humbling.”
[Nero] I do not say this to embarrass you in any way, Pete. You are all at relatively low proficiency levels for most areas of combat. In your case, your higher muscle mass and moderate fitness levels have enabled you to fight relatively well under the circumstances. I merely point out that selecting a ranged weapon such as this bow will not be a significant disadvantage as opposed to continuing with bladed weaponry. You will grow more proficient with each style of weapon and fighting as you progress. Choosing a different weapon will also give you some perspective on how each type of weapon works with your Penny Pincher class. This is a good idea considering that once you reach the novice arena, you will need to choose a soulbound weapon. Once that choice is made you will be unable to augment other weapons, and they will quickly become of little use.
Pete considered the bow, quickly reading through its stats once again and finding that it offered similar benefits to the daggers but with an additional bonus of being able to strike from a distance. There were only two drawbacks that he could see, other than his own inexperience with a bow.
First, he had a limited number of arrows. He might be able to reuse those arrows, but having a weapon that only fired thirty projectiles was the significant limitation. Second, the bow looked like a child’s weapon. He didn’t doubt that, in the hands of a goblin, it could be used to deadly effect, but he was not a small man and the bow looked like it might break the first time he tried to use the damn thing.
“It’s too small, isn’t it?” Sam asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”
[Nero] I should point out that if you purchase a Race Card from the Vend-o-Matic machine, you will be able to adapt this weapon so that it is suitable for a human.
“Race card?” Sam said. “You’re joking, right?”
[Nero] As I said, the race card can be purchased from any Tongsly Belch kiosk, and it will transform an object of any kind so that it is suitable for the individual currently holding it. In this case, it would increase the size of this bow so that it is suitable to be used by a human of Pete’s dimensions. It will also take into account Pete’s size and strength relative to other humans and adapt accordingly.
“And how much will it cost?” Pete asked.
[Nero] 500 Belch Bucks. This is also a single-use item, so once it has been used, it cannot be used again. You can, however, buy multiple Race Cards and use them to shift the qualities of an item so that it is suitable for a different species. There is no limit to how often this can occur.
“But Race Card? That doesn’t make any sense,” Sam protested. “It should be called a species adaptation card or something like that.”
[Nero] If the contest was restricted only to Earth, perhaps. But you should remember that this competition takes place over a great many worlds in different galaxies throughout the cosmos. Regardless, the name is what it is. Quite a useful item for a game where creatures from all over the cosmos fight one another, wouldn’t you say?
“So,” Pete said, “if I take this, we immediately lose 2340 Belch Bucks. Then I’ll have to spend another 500 just to be able to use the weapon. I’ll have 30 arrows unless I can figure out a way to get more.”
[Nero] Correct. However, these arrows are relatively well-constructed. They should persist when fighting any novice-level enemy. So, provided you do not flee from a fight, you should be able to retrieve the arrows after each encounter. If, however, you shoot an arrow into a crevice or some similar geographical feature, you may lose that arrow. Goblins are plentiful at the lower levels of the contest; however, there is also a good chance that you will pick up more arrows as you continue.
“OK, but there’s another problem. I can only use stealth while I’m technically BROKE. And when I kill an enemy, I’m going to immediately get some coin. So, can I quickly transfer money to either Coop or Sam in the middle of a fight?”
[Nero] Provided you all acquire the Coinlink augment, yes, you will be able to transfer funds more or less immediately. There is a limit on the transfer amount; however, I doubt you will be acquiring 1000 Belch Bucks per kill any time soon.
Pete nodded, turning to Sam. “What do you think?”
She handed the bow and quiver to him. “I think this is a better way to go. I mean, if you have to, you can still use arrows as daggers. They won’t be as effective, but it will still give you an option for melee fighting if you’ve got no choice. Plus, just keep that big-ass machete on you, and you’ll have a backup.”
Pete reached out and took the weapon, receiving a notification that it had immediately dropped 90% in value.
“Okay then,” he said, nodding as he felt the reassuring weight of the too-small weapon. “Let’s get some cash and see where we stand.”