They all fanned out as Pete approached the display screen and tapped on a button marked ENTER NOVICE ARENA. The moment he pressed the button, Augustus Greedwell's face popped into view, occupying a large section of the wall.
>> Welcome to the novice arena, hoomans, and let me be the first to welcome you to your inevitable demise! What lies ahead is a truly horrifying catalog of traps, obstacles, enemies, and puzzles all designed to rid the cosmos of your pathetic selves. Only the greatest among you will survive what lies beyond this wall. The rest of you will be lost to history, relegated to nothing more than a footnote in the grand Dominion Ultrimax Codex, numbered among the countless dead. I would wish you luck, but luck cannot save you, pathetic hoomans.
Coop snorted. "Charming."
Sam turned to Pete and gave him a knowing look.
[Sam-Private-Pete] We need to take out those elite guards from a distance, remember?
[Pete-Private-Sam] Yeah, I've got it.
The Overseer's face disappeared, and in its place sat a list of instructions and diagrams outlining the nature of the arena. The instructions were accompanied by clownish music and a cartoon image of Tongsly Belch sat to one side of the message, grinning manically, eyes fever-bright.
>> NOVICE ARENA CHALLENGE REQUIREMENTS
>> ASCEND THE TOWER
In order to pass this arena challenge, you must ascend to the top level of the tower, reaching the helipad on the rooftop before the arena is destroyed. Each floor will include its own set of traps, obstacles, and enemies that must be overcome in order for you to reach the next level. Each floor will be destroyed within three hours of the first player in your party entering the area.
Ascending to the top level of the tower will enable you to progress from novice to initiate class levels.
>> FLOORS
There are twelve game levels in the tower, with a safe zone after every third floor. Each floor will be destroyed three hours after the first entry by any member of your party. Elite bosses will be encountered on every third floor. The killing of an Elite boss will guarantee looting an elevator key, which will lead you safely to the next floor.
GROUND FLOOR
CAR PARK
MAINTENANCE AND POST ROOM [BOSS]
REST ZONE
CUSTOMER SERVICE
HR FLOOR
LEGAL & RISK FLOOR [BOSS]
REST ZONE
MARKETING FLOOR
ACQUISITIONS & MERGERS FLOOR
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT [BOSS]
REST ZONE
UPPER MANAGEMENT FLOOR
EXECUTIVE LOUNGE
BOARD ROOM [BOSS]
ROOFTOP [ARENA EXIT]
>> TRAVEL BETWEEN LEVELS
Traversing levels can only be accomplished in one of two ways. You may either acquire an elevator pass and ride the elevator to the next level or ascend the stairs.
+| ELEVATORS: Elevators are guaranteed safe zones where enemies cannot attack. A Tongsly Belch Vend-O-Matic machine will also be placed in each elevator cabin, allowing you to stock up on supplies or sell goods.
>> ELEVATOR KEYS: Each floor holds only a single elevator key, which can only be used by one party. If multiple parties or individuals are together on a floor at the same time, only one group or player will be able to use the elevator key for that floor. Keys can be found by looting chests, via lucky loot drops, or by killing the final boss on every third floor. Elevator keys can be looted from dead players and traded or passed from one player to another, provided both players agree with the exchange.
+| STAIRWELLS: Unlike elevators, stairs between floors are not safe zones. They are designated as contested zones and liminal spaces. Stairwells are frequented by rogue traders, capitalist cults, and various entities that exist outside of normal space and time. When traversing from one floor to another via stairs, it is possible for a player to be lost for hours or even days. Ultrimax records report several instances of players being pulled through liminal spaces within stairwells that lead to The Beyond.
>> On entering a stairwell, a player's status will be frozen for the duration of their time outside of the arena.
NOTE: Alternate means of transport between floors may be possible; however, such methods are unsanctioned by the Dominion Ultrimax Contest and may incur penalties.
"That's it then," Pete said. "That's how the System is gonna force us to fight against other players or parties. There's only one elevator key per floor and, if we don't get it, we'll have to chance the stairs."
"How bad could the stairs actually be though?" Ollie asked. "I mean, we might have to fight our way through a bunch of enemies, and there might be some traps or whatever, but it can't be that bad, can it?"
Sam snorted. "And what if we walk into some kind of M. C. Escher nightmare scenario where the stairs never lead anywhere? Or what if gravity stops working, or we end up in another one of these reality pockets where time goes on forever while time freezes out here? What if we spend years stuck in a stairwell?"
"I'm more concerned about this Beyond stuff," Pete said. "Nero, what can you tell us about that?"
[Nero] There is very little solid data relating to the concept. Most of the information we have comes from scraps of corrupted feed footage and scrambled data from players who have entered stairwells and never returned. The basic notion is that there are certain liminal breaches on various surfaces within the stairwell structures: walls, floor, ceiling, and so on. It is possible for players to simply slip through those unstable surfaces and enter another realm; a realm where the normal laws of physics do not apply, where monsters prowl, and inexplicable beings from other realities hunt their prey.
"Some kind of creepy-ass hell dimension," Pete said.
[Nero] As I said, very little is actually known of this phenomenon. All we have is contradictory data and wild speculation. A good number of myths and urban legends have sprung up regarding The Beyond. Several religious cults have also emerged in recent years that worship a range of deities said to inhabit the region.
"But we're not talking about all stairs, though, are we?" Sam asked. "I mean, it's just the stairs in this arena."
[Nero] Correct. Although, as a rule, it is always safer to utilize an elevator in favor of stairs. It is common for elevators to be designated as safe areas within the Dominion Ultrimax Contest, but not so with stairs.
Pete chuckled. He turned to Craig. "I bet the System has done everything it can to spread all that shit about The Beyond and disappearing players. It's like a ghost story that the System uses to ramp up the excitement."
"Perhaps," Craig agreed. "But stairs are dangerous. I've seen several contest arenas where stairs were designated as dangerous zones, and many players have fallen in these areas."
"So," Sam said, "we stay clear of the stairs and get hold of an elevator key as our first priority."
Pete nodded. "And we think carefully before making any alliances. Make sure if we do join with someone that we can think of a fair way of deciding who gets the elevator key."
"Us," Ollie said. "That's the fair way. We get the key."
Pete shook his head. "We flip a coin or do rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets it."
"And what if they do nothing to help?" Ollie asked. "What if they sit on their asses while we kill the bad guys and fight our way to a win? Do we still flip a coin then?"
"Hardly seems fair," Coop chipped in.
"We'll figure that out when we come to it," Pete said. "If we come to it. There's still every chance that we won't come across any other players anyway, so let's not worry about it for now."
They turned back to the display as more information appeared.
>> ENTRY FEE
All players must pay one thousand Belch Bucks to gain entry into the arena. This fee is non-refundable.
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
An arrow pointed down at the coin slot in the middle of the wall.
"Are we supposed to literally put a thousand coins in the damned thing?" Ollie asked.
[Nero] Simply allot the money from your wallet, and that will be sufficient. The coin slot is merely a symbol of the exchange of funds, which is required in order for you to progress.
One by one, they all paid the price for entry, and confirmation of the payments appeared in the form of a cartoon image of each player and their name appearing on the wall in front of them.
>> PERFORMANCE WAGERS
Players may also wager on the success or failure of their arena run. Approach the display and select your own profile in order to see the available betting options.
"What's this about, Nero?" Pete asked.
[Nero] I am unsure. This is new functionality that I haven't encountered before, and the System hasn't provided a data packet on the innovation. I would suggest progressing with caution, however. Last-minute changes like this are typically intended to heighten risk and excitement. Given that this is optional, I would counsel wariness.
"Just another way the System is gonna try to screw us," Sam mused.
Pete walked up to the display and pressed his own profile image. The part of the screen directly in front of him shifted, coming forward from the wall and floating in the air in front of his vision.
>> PERFORMANCE WAGER OPTIONS
+| Surviving the Novice Arena: 12/1 [max bid 2000 Belch Bucks]
+| Dying on the third floor: 7/5 [max bid 5000 Belch Bucks]
+| Dying on the sixth floor: 7/2 [max bid 5000 Belch Bucks]
+| Reaching the top floor without sustaining a wound: 24/1 [max bid 1000 Belch Bucks]
+| Killing a fellow player: 9/5 [max bid 2000 Belch Bucks]
+| Survive the Novice Arena without using a single medkit: 40/1 [max bid 500 Belch Bucks]
NOTE: Death bets will require you to designate to whom you wish your winnings to be delivered. The Tongsly Belch Corporation takes a 5% administration fee out of every bet placed, in addition to a 10% winners fee for all payouts.
Pete skimmed through the betting options while the others stood nearby doing the same.
“You think we could get through without using a medkit?” Pete asked.
“Not a chance,” Sam said.
“Speak for yourself,” Ollie retorted. “I’ve already placed that bet for myself.”
Pete grinned. “Of course you did. Well, I figure the rest of us should at least place that first bid. Survival is the goal and if we don’t make it we’re not gonna miss the money either way, right?”
“Fair point,” Sam agreed.
They each locked in their bids with Ollie especially chuffed as he confirmed that it was possible to bid on multiple outcomes.
“If I find out you bid on that kill a fellow player slot, I’ll strangle you,” Sam said, eyes narrowed.
The big Australian shook his head, hands outstretched. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you. I’m not a Reaver!”
Pete scrolled down past the betting information and found another section which covered sponsorships.
>> NEW PREMIUM SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY!
You have been offered premium sponsorship by the Obsidian Alliance. Acceptance of this sponsorship will give the Alliance priority access to the most favorable bidding interactions relating to your gameplay as well as acquiring discounts on all Vault Breaker merchandise. In addition, as a primary sponsor, the Obsidian Alliance will be able to purchase buffs that can be directly applied to you, and they will gain 24-hour access to a direct feed, which will track your progress at all times.
There is no requirement in this contract to advertise or promote the Obsidian Alliance in any way.
>> Accept sponsorship: yes/no?
"Hey, guys," Pete said. "You see this? Anyone else got a sponsor deal on their profile?"
Sam and Ollie both leaned over as the others came closer.
"The Obsidian Alliance?" Coop said. "Is that—"
"My first sponsor," Pete broke in, hoping to cut the ferret off before she said something he didn't want Nero to hear. "Looks like a simple enough deal."
Pete clicked the accept option.
>> SPONSORSHIP ACCEPTED [PROVISIONAL BASIS]
You are now sponsored by the Obsidian Alliance.
"Whoa," Ollie said. "You just accepted it like that? You didn't want to think it over?"
"Sure? Why not?" Pete replied. "The more sponsors, the better, right, Nero?"
[Nero] Provided they are high-quality sponsors, yes. The Obsidian Alliance is a mid-level sponsor, but desirable on the whole. The Obsidian Alliance operates a number of highly profitable businesses that are contracted to the Tongsly Belch Corporation. They are tasked with supplying critical, high-value materials and components to the Company. They have, however, also been linked to certain protests and illegal aggravations against the Dominion Ultrimax Contest. In addition, some of their labor conditions and practices are questionable at best.
"Well, it's done now," Pete said, "so there's no point worrying about it."
[Nero] On the contrary, Pete. When you initially accept a sponsor, it is on a provisional basis only. This gives both you and your sponsor time to assess the relationship and determine whether you wish to continue. You will have three days in which to pull out of the sponsorship if you are not content with the relationship.
"See," Pete said. "We're all good."
[Nero] You should note, though, that entering into a contract with a sponsor can be quite consequential. There is always a certain push and pull in any sponsor and player relationship. For some reason, the Obsidian Alliance has not required direct advertising, and that is quite unusual. It is likely that there will be something the organization wants from you; however, it would pay to deal with them carefully.
"Advertising," Ollie said. "Now this shit makes sense. So, that's how it works then? You wear a t-shirt with their logo on it, and they throw you a bone now and then?"
[Nero] Sometimes the relationship can be that simple, yes, but sponsorship often develops into something far more consequential. Sponsor and player might commission certain joint merchandise, or they may establish a line of collectibles or in-game challenges which supporters can bet on. In time, lasting sponsorships can develop into complex agreements that are mutually beneficial or, in the worst case, quite predatory.
Before the AI finished speaking, a notification popped up on each of the profiles displayed in front of the group. Even Coop's display, hovering down at knee level beside Pete, showed the same message.
>> NEW SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES [PARTY]
Your party has been offered a range of early-game sponsorship opportunities. The following list includes additional perks each group has offered in exchange for basic advertising and association rights. Acceptance of any of these sponsorship requests will mean:
+| Your party will be identified in all relevant feeds as having been sponsored by the agreed parties for the duration of the arrangement.
+| Sponsors will be able to inform customers of the sponsorship arrangement and market a limited number of bespoke products using your likeness and name where appropriate [limited to 2 bespoke products with a maximum of 5 million sales each and including a 5% Belch Corporation licensing fee].
>> SPONSORSHIP REQUESTS:
+| Grease Wizards Lubricants: free weapon lubricant for the duration of the Ultrimax contest.
+| Tunnel Tech: one free made-to-order tunnel per Ultrimax stage.
+| Gobbo-Pop! Carbonated Health Tonics: six-pack of mixed tonics delivered every 25 hours.
+| Whizbang's Emergency Confetti Solutions: 2 Uber-extravagant sunburst confetti cannons, 12 micro confetti funsplosion orbs, 3 pocket pranks.
+| Orbo the Death Goddess Cult: the knowledge of your inevitable doom and the meaninglessness of all life.
"Okay, well, these all seem like shit," Sam said.
[Nero] It may seem so, but each of these organizations possesses considerable wealth and influence. While not among the top-tier sponsors, they may nonetheless prove valuable allies.
"But I thought you said the whole point was to get top-level sponsors," Pete said.
[Nero] That is the end goal, yes, but you must understand that the most prestigious sponsors will not choose a player to support swiftly. Given that their brands will be associated with that player, they tend to deliberate for longer, whereas lower-level sponsors such as these are less picky. Even if the relationship does not work out or you die quickly, they secure a little advertising space in return for a relatively modest price.
"Modest is right," Sam said. "They're basically giving us crap."
[Nero] Yes, but it costs them a considerable amount even to approach a player in this manner. If it weren't for Pete's reputation as the Vault Breaker, I doubt any sponsors would be approaching you at this early stage of the contest. And this is what puzzles me about the Obsidian Alliance. I'm perplexed as to why a higher-tier sponsor would be willing to approach you so early and with no immediate requirement to offer anything in return.
"If I may," Craig said, pointing to one of the names on the list of potential sponsors, "the Grease Wizards do make a fine lubricant. We might be able to find a use for it, either to fix an issue with Jackpot or our weapons. There are a great many uses for such a substance."
"The death cult could be fun too," Sam said.
The comment earned her a host of puzzled looks.
"Joking," she said with a grin. "Jeez. Tough crowd."
"What about Tunnel Tech?" Pete asked. "Anyone heard of them?"
[Nero] They possess a range of tunneling technologies which, while inferior to those used by the Tongsly Belch Corporation, are still serviceable.
"Emergency tunnel could come in handy," Ollie mused.
"In there?" Sam asked, pointing to the building.
"Why not? Maybe we could use it to put a hole through a wall or escape an enemy?"
"Agreed," Pete said. "So, we'll take the lube and the emergency tunnel. What about those health tonics?"
Craig shook his head. "Garbage. Drink enough of them and you will start to smell colors and see sound. A cousin of mine also grew an extra foot after drinking too much of the stuff. It wasn't a working foot either. Just another foot sticking out from his leg that just flopped around when he walked. He had to get it amputated in the end."
"Jesus," Sam said.
“A couple of confetti cannons could come in useful,” Ollie said. “Might make a nice distraction.”
"Agreed," Pete said, "Okay, so we've got a few sponsors that might be useful. Do we all need to select them?"
[Nero] Selecting the sponsors yourself will be sufficient, Pete.
Pete did just that, tapping the tick box next to two of the listed sponsors.
>> SPONSORS SELECTED:
+| Grease Wizards Lubricants
+| Tunnel Tech
+| Whizbang's Emergency Confetti Solutions
A representative from each organization will be in touch to discuss the nature of your ongoing sponsorship. Agreed items have been added to your inventory, along with a copy of the preliminary sponsorship contract, along with terms and conditions for both parties. A copy of the contract has also been delivered to each sponsor.
>> NEW ITEMS:
+| Grease Wizards Premium Plus Lubricant x 1 Tube
+| Single-use emergency tunnel coupon.
+| 2 x Uber-extravagant sunburst confetti cannons, 12 micro confetti funsplosion orbs, 3 pocket pranks.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: Baby's First Sponsorship!
Congratulations! You've just signed your first sponsorship contract. How does it feel to be owned by THE MAN? It must feel comforting to know that your reputation has spread so far and wide that you have sparked the interest of a second-rate lube manufacturer, a ratkin tunneling firm, and a dubious manufacturing business that skirts Dominion law so closely that it's constantly on the verge of being charged with treason and shut down. What an eclectic range of supporters, by which, of course, I mean crappy!
ACHIEVEMENT REWARD: Sponsor-Commemorative Lanyard [of no monetary value, but it looks just terrific!].
"Wow," Sam said. "Who knew the System could be so bitchy?"
"Wait," Ollie said. "Did we all get that achievement?"
"Looks like it," Craig confirmed, holding up a sparkling golden lanyard. "We all got these too."
Grizzle and Torgo both echoed the gesture, holding up their own golden lanyards. Torgo seemed especially pleased with the acquisition, but Grizzle was clearly unimpressed.
"It's with trinkets like these that the Belch Company mollifies the masses," she hissed. "But at what price? How many of our goblin brethren suffered to produce this worthless bauble?"
Before anyone could respond, the wall in front of the group shuddered and then split apart at the center point. The two halves of the stone wall began sliding apart slowly, revealing a brightly lit chamber beyond.
>> NOVICE ARENA OPEN
Welcome to the novice arena, players, and best of luck.
Pete stepped back, raising his bow and notching an arrow as the others gathered their weapons and prepared.
"That has to be the worst possible preparation for a fight," Ollie said. "Drowning in fucking paperwork, and then we get thrown into the fire."
"Any idea what we're heading into, Nero?" Pete asked. "Aside from what the System already told us, I mean?"
[Nero] I have nothing of value to share in that regard, Pete. Though I would advise that you proceed with caution, particularly at the beginning. It may take you some time to acclimatize to the demands of the arena. Also, beware of traps. You have encountered very few thus far, but tower challenges tend to have a lot of traps.
Pete nodded, a strange sense of unease filling his mind as a familiar churning started in his gut. It was an utterly absurd sensation to be experiencing there in that moment, but Pete recognized it immediately. It was the same angst he felt whenever he walked through the doors of the office building where he'd worked for most of his adult life, the same existential dread mixed with the threat of extreme boredom and the inevitability of a pointless life spent sitting at a desk cubicle and selling his time and effort to a company he despised.
He pushed back against the sensation, reminding himself that this wasn't his office building and that, for all the horror and peril he was facing in this new, Running Man-style life, at least he didn't have to show up for work anymore.
Pete grinned.