I'm skipping to the part you care about -- you know the drill. My life sucks, I'm broke, and the latest contract from Re:Inc. is zero-money-down since they take your life insurance and sell your organs. Stay tuned for me killing myself.
Okay, I did it and it worked (obviously, since you're reading this). Currently floating in a formless void. I don't appear to have a body at the moment, so I'm hoping that sorts itself out pretty soon -- otherwise, this is gonna be a real short stream.
Pretty sure everybody already knows the rules, but I'll go over them anyway in case this is your first time:
- I don't get any control over where I go, and it's random whether I get transmigrated or reincarnated or any combination of those.
- If I die, that's it -- no second chances. Just like Earth.
- I can send my thoughts across the transdimensional link to my stream and read your replies, but that's it. No sound, video, or memes. I'll try to transcribe stuff that happens and that people say, but I'll TLDR it if it's boring or too long. I might have a surprise on this front, though, if it works.
- (the important one) If nobody comments for 24 hours, my stream gets shut off. I dunno if this is supposed to kill me or just strand me in my new world, since obviously we never get to hear from people whose streams get terminated, but either way I'm not risking it.
So here's the deal, you vishnat krepnaks: I'll do whatever you tell me. Comment, vote, and for the love of Gog subscribe, and I'll do whatever weird corfsmot you guys think up.
Wait, what the drotz? Why are... oh, fratz. Okay, wait, this might be good.
You guys probably know what's happening, but in case any of you don't, I'll spell it out. Some worlds have special rules -- usually worlds with magic or some drotz. And those worlds have special streaming rules -- in particular, you can't curse. If you do, your words get mishkot censored into whatever weird-brux skek the local world uses for profanity. So we might be in for some crazy drotz here -- if I ever get a body, anyway.
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Wait, okay, something's happ--
OW. Drotz. It just dumped me onto the ground. Fratz, that hurt.
Okay, I possess corporeal existence. Checking it out...
Good news: I have the normal number of limbs and orifices, and I did not get turned into a chick (although that might have been okay if I'd gotten huge homboks). Bad news: looks like I'm about fifteen, and I am not magically endowed with swoleness. In fact, I'm even skinnier than I was in real life. I mean, my old life. Drotz, you know what I mean.
Okay, well, I'm not going to be lifting trucks or anything, but maybe I can do something cool anyway. Let's try this...
7c 20 2e 2f 6e 61 72 72 61 74 6f 72 2e 73 68
garbled static
silence
Skylar Kass opened his eyes, feeling dazed.
Skek yeah, it worked.
With a groan, he managed to sit up; he felt weak, even weaker than he'd been when he'd been hurled unceremoniously into the landscape by whatever force had brought him to this universe. Guess setting up the auto-narrator messed me up a little. Good thing it didn't fail or get corrupted -- it was the only hex string I could memorize. At least that's the last time I'll have to mess with any computer stuff. He blinked, trying to get his bearings.
His surroundings were pitch-black, the darkness only broken by a small string of bluish-green lights that appeared to be coming from a nearby tree. What is this, a Christmas tree? He tried to stand up, failed, and settled for crawling over to it before examining the lights closely. Some kind of berries. I could eat one if I wasn't a vishnat krepnak. Seriously? ALL these words are censored?
Well, whatever. I can use this tree for more than just light.
Carefully, Skylar worked his hands into the tree's thorny branches, giving himself enough leverage to stand up. His body still felt disoriented and enervated, but at least now he'd be ready for whatever came at him. He blinked, trying to stay upright.
Okay, chat, first chance to get me killed. What next?
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-- AMBLE
Where should I go next?