Life hasn't changed much over the last decade. I sit in my cage, every other day we do obedience training, and about twice a month we fight in the petty arena.
The citizens have adjusted to seeing us around. They don't make as much of a fuss as they used to—probably because our handlers are always there when we head out. Arena casualty rates are quite high for fresh hatchlings, but, if you survive long enough, things get easier. We are given easier fights as we get older, so I think they must value bigger hydra more.
I promise not to subject you to too much complaining. My situation is still bad, yes—but I can accept it. There is a certain fairness to this life. If we fight, we eat.
Obedience training is my favorite time. They take us to the meadows just outside the walls learn commands. If you do well, you get to wet your skin in the moat. The gist of obedience training is this: they make a sound and you have to act according to it. At first it was simple things like
‘stay’, ‘attack’, ‘eat’, ‘advance’, and ‘retreat’. Later—once you have the basics down—they switch you to the formations class. I don't have all the formations figured out yet, but I'm doing my best.
I planned my escape carefully. During one of our training sessions, I waited until the commands happened to put enough distance between me and the handlers. Then, when it looked like their attention had lapsed for a moment, I ran.
It turns out humans can run much faster than me. I didn't get far. Normally, the punishment for disobeying commands is having a single head cut off. Yes, I can regrow them, but it hurts, and sometimes I lose bits of memories.
Having lost and regrown almost every part of myself countless times, my understanding of anatomy is fairly good. I'm certain that everything related to memory is stored in the brains. There must be a lot of redundancy though, because as long as I'm not down to one head, I tend not to lose much at all.
Anyway, normally a single severed neck is all the punishment you get for disobedience, but this time the punishment was much worse. Master may not look that dangerous as humans go: He moves slow, is always hunched over, and I've never seen him lift anything heavy by himself, but let me tell you, Master has crazy scary magic. One of his abilities lets him control your body. He can make you do anything—and I mean anything.
I hardly ever think about escaping anymore. I'm a hatchling of the swamp no longer. I am Deluge, hydra hatchling of the Master, gladiator of the petty arena. I stand tall as a grown human's belt and kill whatever I'm told to kill.
It has come to my attention that some hatchlings are more important than others. Among humans, hats denote status. Master wears a dark cowl, but this is no mere peasant's cowl—the fabric is unique, it scatters light with incandescence that lets all know that he is ‘the Dark-Master’.
Julie wears a dainty beige hat with a vibrant blue ribbon and a single faux flower tied in at one side. Not as unique as Master's cowl, but of much better quality than worn by most citizens. People see her hat and show respect.
The guards all wear shiny metal hats and commoners cower at the sight of them. Commoners are often seen bareheaded or with plain cloth hoods.
So with all of that in mind, here's my gripe: despite my consistent performance in the arena, despite pouring literal sweat, tears and blood into every fight. Despite having literally five heads... I still have no hat!
Look, I might not be the strongest of us—I'll admit that—but I know I'm better than Avocado. I know. And yet. There. Relaxing smugly in his cage just across the hall. There sits Avocado brazenly wearing five bright beanies knit by Julie: one blue, one red, one green, one yellow, and in the center... one white! How I loath Avocado.
There's also Cuddles with her black and white tricorne adorned with a skull-and-bones motif, and Booboob with delicate red and white ribbons tied in little bows behind her undeserving fat heads. But, listen, those two I can sort-of understand. Booboo may look slow and sleepy, but there's real weight behind her attacks, the crowds love her—and Cuddles, Cuddles moves faster than anyone.
No. It's Avocado I hate. Why him? I'll tell you why. They always seed him the easiest opponents. Crowds leave for toilet breaks when he's up. Why did Avocado get knit beanies and not me?
I don't know when I first stopped fantasizing about killing Master and started directing my hate towards Avocado. It was a foolish fantasy anyway. No one can defeat Master. Even the guards are scared of him. Mages like him exist in a different league to the rest of us. There's no point in thinking about challenging him.
These days I try to be pragmatic. I focus my hatred on enemies I can handle. Enemies like Widowmaker. He didn't get any hats either, but for some reason he keeps hissing at me. It costs nothing to be polite, Widowmaker. Pray they never put you in the arena with me.
Sometimes Julie uses little sticks to make colored markings on a white canvas. ‘Painting’ is the word they use for it. She always paints monsters—big monsters. Some I recognize from the swamp, most I've never seen, but the depictions are usually detailed enough that I can guess what they're about or how they kill you.
Julie's pictures never have more than one monster in them, and they are never depicted doing anything particularly interesting. You might think a picture of a monster just standing there like a statue would be boring, but somehow they all carry a feeling of mysterious inevitability, like you wouldn't even consider fighting—or even running—if that ever noticed you.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
One day, during obedience training, I picked up a brush and tried to make markings on the floor. Seeing this, Julie was immediately excited and brought me a canvas and more painting implements. Weeks passed like this and I get the impression that Julie and Master are keeping our painting sessions secret because we only ever do it when the handlers aren't present.
My early drawings were terrible, but I think I'm getting better. I can tell because Julie no longer has to explain them to Master.
Today's work is a fictional team combat scene set in the petty arena. In the south corner, the brave duo and crowd favorites, Deluge and Titus! And in the north corner, a collection of villains and cowards, Avocado, Widomaker, and Blossom - "boooooo!" says the crowd.
I drew a yellow circle in the top corner to show that the sun is out. I like warm days, that's why. A pool of blood surrounds Titus who effortlessly sliced all of Widomaker's heads off in one clean sweep of his signature broadsword. You can tell it's Titus because of the muscles.
Avocado is cowering in a corner and no one is even paying attention to him. Meanwhile, me and Blossom are locked in mortal combat. On the surface it may look like I'm going to lose, but secretly, I'm using my special ‘'play dead and then rapidly heal, followed by leaping and constricting the enemy’ move.
Titus could easily step in and help, but he knows I've got this. Titus is cool like that. Okay, in real life he probably doesn't know I exist, but, I'd like think we'd make a good duo.
Who is Titus you ask? only the strongest gladiator of the Perlin petty arena. Like all the greats, he's human, male, and has a thick bushy beard and a carpet of curly chest hair for soaking up the blood of his enemies. Like me, Titus hasn't been gifted a hat yet because the game is rigged—but it doesn't matter because the crowds know he's the best.
To be clear, I have no illusion that I'm even close to his league. Even in an unarmed dual, Titus would probably just punch me do death. The painting is a fantasy, it's something to strive towards.
Ahhrgg, my heads hurt! Brain damage is the worst. Where even am I? and what was I doing just now? Oh, I see. This is the arena, and that 'thing' there must be my opponent. Looks like it's giving me space for some reason, so I've got time to heal up.
Let's see, one neck completely broken and two heads bashed to a pulp. Got to start with memory recovery. I bite off and swallow the three damaged heads, ‘recycling’ is what the announcers call it. Why do we recycle? its not just for nutrients: we can recover memories and knowledge by absorbing our lost brains. Usually we can. This time two of those brains were so mangled there was little to recover, but at least my headache is tolerable now.
Okay, I'm beginning to remember now. That thing is an level 10 ankylosaur. It's covered in thick plate-like scales and has a nasty hammer tail for bashing hydras. While it is slower than me, if I keep running, the handlers might interfere, and that never goes well for anyone.
Perhaps if I can get on top if it? It is dumb... so it wont anticipate or read my intentions. I edge closer and then sprint and leap as high as a hydra hatchling can leap—which, I'm sorry to say, isn't very high at all. We aren't known for our mobility.
Using my four side heads for grip, I awkwardly wiggle into a mounting position. Now to find a weak spot, except... are there are any? Those plates are all too tightly packed for my teeth to get into the gaps, and too hard to punch through. The underside is covered in plates as well. Even the cloaca looks impenetrable. Perhaps behind the neck... No, its got spikes behind the jaw, my head would be crushed if I tried.
I make a few exploratory stabs between the plates on its side, but fail to get past the thick skin in-between. My fangs are too short and my venom much too weak against something this size.
I suspect Cuddles has some sort of venom enhancing passive, but System so far hasn't offered it to me. As I understand it, System decides what to offer based on the things you've done in fights. Because I keep using my signature ‘play dead and then rapidly heal, followed by leaping and constricting the enemy’ tactic, System has only ever offered me healing and constriction related abilities. Obviously, I have no hope of constricting a level 10 ankylosaur.
Staying up here uses too much energy. I have to do something or get off. Wait... there are no armored plates on the inside of its mouth, right? If I can inject enough venom from the inside, then, maybe...
Worst idea ever but here we go!
My main head slides into the beast's mouth and, as anticipated, it bites down. Next, I activate my one-and-only active ability, rapid regeneration +1. With this, I should heal faster than it can chew.
The venom needs to be injected as close to the heart as possible. I can roughly guess where it might be, but can't be certain, and my active will time out soon. Here. This is close enough. I bite down and pump in all my remaining venom.
Right. Now to get off. No way it'll stop biting down, so best to just sever the neck myself. Slice, slice, slice... you know, I've gotten quite efficient at this. Six bites are all it takes to detach the main neck. And down I go... wait. No! not like that! Shit!
As I dismount, my opponent stomps on the severed neck with its front foot locking me in place. Aaaaand here comes the hammer. Over and over it pommels me. Every bone in my body is broken—okay, I exaggerate, not literally all of them, but pain-wise it might as well be.
Biting off the restrained neck closer to the base lets me wiggle free and roll into its blind spot. I put some distance between us and take a moment to fully heal.
That plan didn't work. I either missed my mark on that bite, or perhaps there was just too much tissue in the way. The venom barely seems to be having any effect. Now my fat reserves are depleted. I won't be able to heal form here on.
Once again I'm running away. The ankylosaur isn't chasing, but the handlers won't punish it because they know it's a dumb animal. For me, however, there will be no mercy, I have to attack again, but how?
Think! What would Titus do? Actually, I've seen Titus fight twelve of these at once using a spear. The spear head was flat and thin enough to get in between the armor plates, and it just so happens, there's one lying here in the arena that the handlers forgot to pick up after the previous fight.
Hydras don't use weapons, but... I've seen how dangerous they make humans. If I can hold a paint brush, then why not?
The ankylosaur might have three levels on me, but it's too dumb to interfere as I slither casually towards the weapon. One neck I coil around the rear of the shaft, and the second near the middle for control. With these two gripping points, I think I can aim it.
Hmm... that's odd. The crowd's gone unusually silent.
I take a few practice stabs in the air before approaching the beast again. It doesn't seem to register the spear as a threat. Stab! That was easy, but now its angry. Back off, back off.
I don't know of anything but hydras that can heal from a wound like that before bleeding out. I wait, and sure enough, it slows down. Now to rinse and repeat.
Deluge (named monster), level 7
base class: hydra (physique->constitution#1, biology->restoration#1, affliction->poison#1), level 7
- dense fat +3 (passive)
- contortion +1 (passive)
- strength +1 (passive)
- understanding +1 (passive)
- rapid regeneration +1 (active)
Dense Fat +3: Your body fat stores nutrients at +150% base density, improves blunt damage absorption but also makes you heavier.
Contortion +1: Your joints can bend and twist further.
Strength +1: Your muscles exert more force.
Understanding +1: Improves your ability to comprehend complex concepts.
Rapid Regeneration +1: Regenerate at +300% base rate. (duration, 10 seconds), (cool-down, 1 hour)

