“Ha!” I thought to myself after reading that story, “That computer escaped from that dude just like how my door escaped from me!…” and then I continued reading the collection of short stories, and this is how the second short story in the book went:
“Once upon a time there was a ghost who was haunting a house; and the people who’d been living at that house had just moved away from the house, and now a new person was moving into the house; and the new person was an author who just wanted a private place to do his writing…
And so the author got comfortable inside of the house, and then he began writing; and then suddenly! the ghost said, “Boo!…” and then the man immediately! stopped writing and said, “Whaaaaa????
Who said that???…” and then the ghost didn’t respond; and so then the man began searching all around the house to try n’ figure out who had spoken while he’d been writing!…; and after searching several rooms he saw that one of the rooms had a strange looking bookshelf, and then he began becoming suspicious that perhaps the bookshelf was actually a door or something like that; and so then he began trying a bunch of different ways of getting the bookshelf to open up like a door would, and eventually he stumbled across a way to get the bookshelf to open like a door; and so now he was faced with the decision of whether to go into the place that the door led to or not…
“Ummmm…” he said uncertainly, “This could be dangerous, and so maybe I should call the police or something?…” and then the ghost suddenly said, “It’s safe!…
You’ll be fine if you enter!…” and then the man said, “Gahhhhh!!!…
And now it’s that voice again!…” and then the man ran around the house and searched for who had spoken; but he didn’t find anybody, and so then eventually he went back to the bookshelf and once again began considering whether he should enter into the place that opening the bookshelf had revealed to him or not…; and then he decided that he’d call the police, and so then he called the police and told the officer that he was hearing a voice inside of his house and that his bookshelf was also a door that led to an unknown place; and then the officer said that someone would arrive at the house soon, and so then before long an officer arrived at the house; and then the man said hello to her and then he led her over to the bookshelf that was also a door, and then she said that she was going to go into wherever the bookshelf-door was leading to; and so then she walked past the bookshelf, and then the man walked in after her…; and then after a little while of walking they reached a river, and then the officer said, “This is odd…
Why would your door lead to a river?…” and then the ghost said, “Because it’s your only way out of here now, because I just closed the bookshelf-door!…” and then the man said, “It’s that voice again!…” and then he and the officer ran! back to the bookshelf-door, but the bookshelf-door was indeed closed now; and then the 2 of them tried to get it open again, but it wouldn’t budge at all…; and then the officer tried to call her fellow officers, but for some reason she wasn’t able to get ahold of any of them with any of her communication devices!…; and so then she said, “Well, this sucks…
And so I guess we’d better head back to the river in hopes that we’ll actually be able to use the river to get the hell out of here…” and then the man said, “And, speaking of hell; do you think that this might actually be Hell or something like that?…” and then she frowned and said, “Naw…
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I mean, if anything it’d be the river Styx, and so I wouldn’t worry that this is Hell if I were you…” and then the man said, “Hmmm…
Well, I guess that makes sense…” and so then the police officer and the man both headed back to the river, and it turned out that there was now a boat that had drifted into sight, and so then the police officer shrugged and said, “Well, I guess that’s our ride then…” and so then the man and the police officer got inside of the boat, and then they began paddling it down the river; and then eventually they saw a sign that said ‘Welcome to the River Styx!…’ and then the police officer said, “See!!!…
It’s just like I told you!…
There was no way that this was Hell!…” and then the man said, “Although I’m not certain if there being a sign that says that we’re now in the river Styx actually means that we’re truly in the river Styx, ya know?…” and then the police officer shrugged and said, “Fair enough…” and then the police officer and the man continued paddling the boat along; and then eventually they saw a couple of bats up ahead, and then one of the bats saw them and said, “Fresh blood!…” and then the man screamed!; and he and the police officer tried to paddle the boat away from the bats who were now flying towards them; but they weren’t even close to being close to being fast enough; and so the 2 bats sucked some of their blood, and then the 2 bats happily flew! away from the police officer and the man…; and then the police officer said, “Freaking vampires!…” and then the man said, “Yeah!…
Who the hell do they think they are!?!…” and then the police officer said, “As important as that question is, I’m actually beginning to wonder who the hell we are now…; because, I mean, when people get assaulted by vampires they often turn into vampires!…” and then the man said, “Yikes!…
And so that means that we might be vampires now!…” and then suddenly! the police officer and the man turned into bats!, and then the police officer groaned unhappily and said, “Dammit…
And so now we know for sure that now we’re freaking vampires too!..” and then the man said, “We sure are…
And so at this point I’m feeling like I should apologize to you for having even gotten you into this mess, ya know…” and then the police officer said, “Nonsense!…
I mean, I swore an oath to protect and serve!; and I knew that I might face dangers while on duty; and so you didn’t do anything wrong by calling the police when you did…” and then the man said, “Hmmm…
I guess that makes sense…
And so what do we do now?…” and then the police officer said, “I guess we just try to proceed in the best way that we can, ya know?…” and then the man said, “Yeah…
I mean, I suppose that that’s all that we can really do at this point…” and so then the police officer and the man began flying down the river Styx; and then eventually they reached a HUGE boat that seemed to be hosting a party at the moment; and so then the 2 of them cautiously flew onto the boat and watched everyone who was partying; and there were zombies and elves and trolls and magicians and goblins and all sorts of other creatures who were partying on the boat…; and then one of the folks who was partying noticed the man and the police officer who were now in their bat forms; and then the partier went over to them and said, “Hello!…
Wanna join in on the fun?…” and then the police officer and the man decided that they’d accept the invitation and attend the party; and as they partied with all of the other partiers they were both still very nervous and worried about the situation that they were in, but they also figured that perhaps they’d be able to meet someone at the party who’d be able help them turn back into humans and help them return home so that they could get out of this crazy situation and get back to their homes so that they could live happily ever after…
The End”
