Beion managed to get a fire going for only ten seconds, the rain claimed it before any heat could warm them up. “I think it’s time we leave. It’s been long enough. I’m freezing, and I’m a demon.”

  “A few more minutes,” Death said. “I have something I must tell the rest of you. I didn’t withhold this for my own benefit. I never found the right moment.”

  “Ooooo,” Vera teased. “The big conqueror has a secret he wants to share with the rest of us. What is it? I bet it’s nasty.”

  “Silence, fox,” Death sighed. “I made a deal with Stroke Valan while in the dungeons of Vatanil.”

  Vera and Snow were stunned by the revelation. “I knew,” Beion claimed. “The Sentinels don’t just ignore something like that. What bargain did you strike?”

  “Hold on!” Snow interrupted. “You made a deal with the enemy behind our backs? Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “I’m telling you now. Stroke Valan is not our enemy. I struck a deal of alliance with him in return for our help in finding Runaya.”

  “But Runaya is fuckin’ dead, right over there,” Vera reminded. “What do you think is gonna happen to your little deal when he knows she’s got maggots in her skull?”

  Death looked up to an owl in the trees. “Fate will deal with it,” he said. “I dislike my decisions being pushed by the gods, but the prince is a loyal follower of the Voiceless One. I’m certain that this will work in our favour.” He pointed at the owl. “And if it doesn’t, I will kill and eat every single owl I see.”

  “How does this help you fight Godwin?” Snow asked.

  “I’m not going to fight Godwin. The power of the God Arm is a gift that can make the weakest soul formidable. His death needs to be silent. Stroke will keep us clear of the Sentinels.”

  “Are you insane?” Vera asked. “The Sentinels aren’t controlled by Stroke alone, all the Valans can use them! I was lucky to escape the city when I had to flee. Stroke could’ve turned me to a pile of ash at his command.”

  “Then the other Valans must be dead before they can even use them.” Death pointed at Beion. “If we kill Godwin, would you be able to use your portals without the Sentinels detecting you?”

  “Only one way to find out… and I don’t like that way.”

  “I don’t like it either!” Vera seconded. “You really don’t get the power of the Sentinels, do you? If you knew what they could do, you wouldn’t be so eager to test them.”

  “Enlighten me then,” Death challenged. “What do the Sentinels do? Why are they such an obstacle.”

  Vera stuttered with each sentence. Beion clicked his tongue in thought. “I—well—there’s stories from legend of them,” the fox said. “They’ve kept the city safe from dragons, invasions, and—”

  “Stories,” Death interrupted. “Have either of you seen any of these Sentinels in action? Even that damned Crooked Devil had a fear of them, yet I’ve seen nothing from them except the changing of blue to red. Are your certain they’re even weapons? Perhaps they are simple deterrents and nothing more. Glorified towers presented as powerful magic to terrify the commonfolk.”

  “I’ve heard stories,” Snow added. “When I was in a Sekoi cell that guard would tell me stories from his grandfather’s grandfather. Said it whacked a dragon-rider from Roshishi out the sky like it was a fly!”

  “We can travel under the city then,” Death said. “I met a man named Gunther during my travels there. There is an underground tunnel beneath the city. I believe it spreads out beneath the whole of Vatanil. The Sentinels we see us if we approach from the north. We can sneak over the wall, find one of the hatches that lead to these tunnels and trust one path will lead to Keep Blacksteel.”

  “—and then we’ll kill King Godwin while he sleeps!” Snow cheered. “A great plan! Let’s do it… how do we navigate the castle if we don’t know the paths?”

  Death pointed at Beion.

  “Huh?” the demon exclaimed. “What’s the finger supposed to imply? Am I supposed to know your thoughts?”

  “You knew where the chambers of Killian Entrail were, did you not?” Death smirked. “You said you only had a small window of opportunity before the Sentinels detected you and shut your portal. You must’ve known the layout.”

  Beion rubbed his eyes with displeased mumbles. “I do know the layout. Stroke had a cambion protector once. Hell has a map of the castle and all of the rooms. The Elder Devil has it now. Do you want me to fetch it for you?”

  “Of course we don’t!” Vera bonked him on the head with her a stick. “We’ve got that map inside your cute lil’ demon head. You’ll get us to Godwin’s chambers.”

  “And what if we meet a powerful foe? What if Godwin isn’t in his chambers? What if the Sentinels detect us while inside the castle walls. We’ll be trapped.”

  “Fate,” Death repeated. “There are things in motion that have been planned by the gods, it would seem. We’ll entertain this. Have some faith. Even I have trust in this plan, and I despite fate more than all of you combined.”

  “On one condition,” Beion said. “My sister pesters me to try and infiltrate this castle to retrieve some crystal the Valans are fabled to have hidden in their home. I ask that you drop this favour and get the crystal yourself. Those halls aren’t safe for someone like her, not with Killian Entrail roaming.” Beion clicked his fingers, flames left his fingertips and formed into an infernal projection of Killian’s full body. “I neglected to mention it when I was graced with meeting you, but the women he had in his chambers didn’t seem like they’d willingly volunteered to be there. I wouldn’t let my dear sister near that monster. Do we have a deal?”

  Death settled the favour with a handshake.

  “Blood Swordsman,” Vera scoffed. “More like the Blood Fraud. The books made him sound more terrifying.”

  A wave of a thousand giggles came from the woods. Snow was the first to summon her sword and point it out into the fog.

  “Halt, who goes there?” she said in a posh tone. “We are knights. Make yourself known or we shall slay thee.”

  “That sounded cool,” Vera said. “Come out and announce your presence, villains of the woods! We are knights!”

  Are we being ambushed? Death thought. I cannot see a thing in that damned fog. That laughter was odd.

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  Thousands of glowing eyes peeked in from the grey surrounding them, all the height of their ankles. One hopped forward, raising a sharpened stick while bashing their chest. It was a goblin, thin and bony, a giant head with an even bigger nose—leather clothes, an iron plate strapped to their chest and back for armour.

  “Awww… it’s a little goblin,” Snow whispered. “Aren’t you an adorable little thing? Are you here to slay us? Awww… are they all your friends?”

  “Silence whore!” The goblin yelled. “The storm heralds the era of the goblins and gnomes! We shall rule everything!”

  “What the fuck is this?” Vera chuckled. “Am I dreaming? How did these little shits surround us, and why isn’t the wind whisking them away into the clouds!”

  Beion brought fire to his palm and pointed it threatening at the lone goblin. “There are no goblins in Valan, darling,” he said. “They must be an illusion. Their appearance is too coincidental. Death, you should slay them with me.”

  Death didn’t care. He remained seated, eating scraps of meat and vegetables. I’ll gain no power from killing their like. A hundred goblins are equal to one human… and a hundred gnomes equal to a toddler. This battle is not worth my time. The others can deal with this nonsense.

  “I’ll handle this!” Snow yelled. “I’ve killed a dragon before! A tiny little goblin ain’t a challenge!”

  Snow had forgotten about the thousands of other eyes peeking. They emerged from the fog in waves, all identical save a few scars and odd hairstyles. Gnomes travelled amongst the goblins, half their size, all wearing cones of red or blue strapped to their head with a belt under their chin. Each one had a bushy white beard, and it made Snow laugh at them uncontrollably.

  “Gnomes aren’t from Valan either,” Beion said. “I’m baffled. I haven’t a clue what’s happening.”

  “We are the Band of Wrath!” a gnome squeaked. “We snuck past the Valan borders of Roshishi and have scaled your mightiest mountains! The gnomes and goblins have—”

  “Mountain? Are you sure it wasn’t a steep hill?” Vera mocked. “We’ll help you all get back to your nation if you’re lost.”

  One of the goblins did not take kindly to the insult. It attacked her leg with a sharpened twig, stabbing her in the boot and forcing the fox to kick it against a tree, killing it upon impact.

  “She killed General Morrow!” the goblins yelled. “Get them! They must be the rulers of this land! First wave, advance!”

  “Ahh—motherfucker.” Vera removed her show. One of her toes was split down the centre by the reckless stabbing. “Look at what those little shits did! Bei-bei, get the axe from the wagon, I’m gonna split these little piss-midgets like firewood.”

  Hundreds of little warriors charged for the camp. Beion set them all aflame and watched them squirm, the rains of the storm quickly extinguishing them once dead and leaving the ground littered with charred corpses. What remained of the first wave still charged. Vera did as promised, striking them with the axe as they came.

  “Fuckin’ little twats!” Vera yelled. “Look at the lot of you, bunch of overgrown spunks in pointed hats… if you weren’t so cute I’d give you all slow deaths!”

  “Bring out the second wave!” a goblin screamed. “Quick! We’re wearing them down.”

  “Shut your tiny holes, you evil little dick-goblins. Why are you even fighting us? Why are you even alive? You have no purpose. You’re just a bunch of bullshit thrown together by a drunken god that got magically given a heartbeat on accident.”

  The second wave was called back by an angry war-horn. “Bring out the Devourer!” one yelled. “If the monkey wants to insult us, she can face the judgement of our great warrior!”

  “MONKEY?” Vera yelled. “I’m a fox!”

  A giant shadow approached from the mist as the army clanged their sticks against their plates.

  “I’ll take this one,” Snow offered. “He looks big.”

  The shadow got smaller the closer it got. While it trumped the other goblins in size by double, it barely reached Snow’s kneecap. The Devourer was heavily scarred, the only one with proper armour out of the bunch. It charged with a tiny axe, which Snow whacked away with the single swing of a sword. It punched her leg with all it could muster, which wasn’t a lot.

  “Aww, he’s kind of cute,” Snow said. “We should keep him.”

  “They stabbed me in the toe, we are not keeping them.”

  “Fine.” Snow crushed the Devourer beneath her heel. “Happy now? I killed the thing.”

  The gnomes and goblins released a wave of shocked gasps then bowed to Snow. “Goddess,” they all said. “You are the one the tales spoke of. The one who slays the Devourer and will lead us to glory and victory.”

  “Seriously, what is happening,” Beion said. “Did someone taint our meals with poisoned berries? Are we hallucinating?”

  “Did they just call me goddess?” Snow asked.

  A representative stepped forward in black cloth, presenting Snow with a tiny ring of silver that was supposedly a crown. She put it on her wrist, confused, but willing to listen.

  “You have bested our best,” the representative said. “We lay down our weapons and surrender to you, great goddess. Please have mercy on us and treat us well. As the ruler of this land, we hope you find kindness in your heart to give us sanctuary.”

  “Yeah! You better… surrender… what…?”

  “Fuck these guys!” Vera kicked the goblin into the crowd. “I say we burn every single one of them! They’re weak and useless!”

  The representative scrambled backed to where he had been kicked from and grovelled in the dirt. “Please, mighty goddesses, do not kill us! We are at your service!”

  Vera wasn’t sure what to do next. Beion gave her a shrug and refused to take part in the ordeal. “Uh—why have you come from here from Roshishi?” Vera said, feigning a godly accent.

  “We come seeking freedom for our people. Roshishi uses us as slaves, and we intend to fight for our freedom! We wanted to take the nation of Valan for ourselves, allow our kind to prosper!”

  “Aww, that’s sad—I mean… how valiant,” Vera continued. “Do you accept me as your one and only goddess!”

  Snow cleared her throat. “The fox does not speak for me,” she said, also faking a godly accent. “Do you accept me as your one and only goddess? Will you build shrines of my likeliness?”

  “We will worship you both.”

  “Then return to Roshishi and do not return until you have freed your own people,” Snow said. “Do not come back to Valan until each goblin and gnome walks free!

  “—and repent for stabbing me in the toe as you travel!” Vera added. “You injured your goddess! She is angry!”

  “We shall repent. We promise. Men, let us travel back through the mountains and return to our homeland! We shall rescue our own kind and return here once done!”

  The army supported this and then charged back into the fog. Snow stared emptily for a while, breaking into a giggle. “Did you hear that? We’re goddesses now.”

  “I think you sent those creatures to their doom,” Beion said. “I have never been more confused before. They didn’t even clean up their dead. That very well may be the shortest invasion of history.”

  “I wonder if we’ll ever see them again,” Vera said. “Hope not. I’m sick of surprises. When this is all over, I want something quiet. We should buy a farm together… think I’ll try doing the right thing for once. I’ve spent a lot of my life doing wrong things.”

  “As have I,” Beion admitted.

  “Me too,” Snow thirded. “We should start now. A pact. We’ll all do the right thing.”

  “Very wise,” Death interrupted sarcastically. “Did the sudden battle give you a revelation?”

  “Don’t be a dick,” Snow chuckled. “Maybe the owls lead those goblins here! Maybe they’ll come back and save us one day!”

  “I doubt that.”

  “C’mon, make the pact with us,” Vera insisted. “We’ll all do the right thing. Bei-bei is in, aren’t you?”

  “I suppose so,” the demon agreed.

  “The only right thing for me is conquering these nations,” said Death. “I don’t need a pact for that.”

  “The right thing will be doing it with us at your side,” Snow said. “Now get up here. I command you.”

  Death had no choice. They all joined their hands together, Snow locking her fingers between Death’s. They raised their hands to the storm with a cheer, finalising the pact, and promising they would all conquer the nations as one.