“Halt!” barked an authoritative voice. The Godfeathers and ForkKnife Players all directed their attention behind us. “You dare to trespass on these sacred combat grounds with barbaric weaponry?”
I dared to glance over my shoulder at the new development. From the arena area full of dirt, broken pillars, and random debris to simulate a battlefield, ten ninja-looking Players approached. Some were male, some were female. Some wore armor, others were scantily clad.
From among them, a figure stepped forward. His eyes glowed with colorless light, and he wore white attire with gray accents and a wide-brimmed Asian-style straw hat—one that looked very familiar.
He spoke with a raspy, commanding voice like the guy from the old Highlander movies. “You are not welcome in the sacred tournament. You have not earned the right to defend the AllVerse against the forces of the Region of Nether.”
I gave him a quick scan and noticed he also had a designated class with his game, though he was an NPC, so that might not have been too unusual.
| Radon – Level 100 NPC |
| Game/Class: Immortal Kombat – Lightning God |
“We’re not here to interrupt your tournament,” I said.
He fixed his glowing eyes on me for a moment, and words appeared on my HUD.
| Your Negotiation skill is too low to influence this NPC. |
Well, that was unfortunate. Luckily for us, Icarus wasn’t having it, nor was he afraid to make his feelings known.
“Look, rice paddy reject, this doesn’t concern you,” he said. “So why don’t you just turn around and go back to playing your little karate game with your friends?”
Radon’s eyes crackled with electricity. His voice ominous, he replied, “I don’t think so.”
Sync, the Karjok, and I all slowly parted out of the way to make a clear path between these two forces, hoping they’d clash with each other. Radon didn’t move his gaze from our pursuers.
Every single Godfeather and ForkKnife Player furrowed their brows. I scanned a few of his nearest warriors.
| HardPeck – Level 20 Player |
| Game/Class: Immortal Kombat |
| Sonja_Sings – Level 18 Player |
| Game/Class: Immortal Kombat |
| ObiWanBroski – Level 19 Player |
| Game/Class: Immortal Kombat |
“Sync, we need to not mess with this dude, unless you can steal his class…” I whispered.
She nodded and took a cautious step forward. “I’ve never stolen an NPC’s class before… but I can try.”
“Look, buddy, our beef isn’t with you or your… warriors.” Icarus sounded less certain than before. “We just want these two.”
Based on Radon’s expression, Icarus didn’t have a high enough Negotiation skill either. I don’t think anyone did or ever would.
One of the ForkKnife Players, a guy dressed as a waiter, yelled, “Booooring. ForkKnife battle pass, baby. Let’s go!”
Then he rushed past us to attack Radon with a kebab sword.
Radon’s whole body glowed with colorless light, then he thrust his fist out, and lightning surged forward. The bolt scorched the ForkKnife waiter with a crash of thunder, and he exploded into arcs of lightning and sparkles, leaving nothing but smoldering dress shoes and a tattered apron. A loot box dropped on top of the apron, but I didn’t dare try to grab it.
“So much for Immortal Kombat,” I muttered.
The Godfeathers and ForkKnife Players all stepped back.
“Neptune’s trident! It’s Zeus himself!” Chancellor Hachem cried. “Not how I pictured him at all…”
“Never mind. Not gonna try,” Sync whispered, and I didn’t blame her.
“What the bloody quail is taking so long? We needed that sashimi an hour ago!” Gordo Rameses yelled as he strode into the Arena. His face hardened more, if such a thing were possible, when he laid eyes on Radon. “You.”
Radon stepped forward. “I have not forgotten the debt you incurred to ascend to the heights you’ve reached, Gordo. The Earth Realm demands its due, and now that you’ve tread on sacred ground, it’s time to pay.”
“You never did respect my culinary pursuits,” Gordo Rameses said. “You never understood what it meant to labor in the underworld’s darkest kitchens, to slave over the inferno of Hades’ grill, to dice tomatoes for endless hours to make pico de gallo for Quetzalcoatl’s all-you-can-eat Taco Tuesdays.”
Gordo Rameses shifted his ankh staff to his left hand, and with his right, he drew a long golden chef’s knife from his belt.
“But you’re about to find out how well all those hours of chopping, slicing, and dicing paid off. Your godhood was given to you, but I made mine from scratch, just like everything else on the bloody menu.”
[Gordo Rameses (NPC) has initiated a Feud!]
[All Players and NPCs of ForkKnife and Immortal Kombat are now feuding.]
Lucretia’s announcement didn’t provide any more info, but a high-energy techno beat arose in the background while the two factions squared up with each other. I got the gist.
“What in the world is happening right now?” Silas muttered.
“A distraction.” I began backing away. “Maybe we can make use of—”
“Immortal Kombat!” a disembodied voice shouted in time with the music.
Radon and his warriors flew into action and clashed with Gordo Rameses, the ForkKnife Players, and the Godfeathers.
Radon threw glowing punches and delivered acrobatic kicks, all of which Gordo deftly deflected and countered with his large golden chef’s knife and the ankh staff. In return, Gordo spammed what appeared to be perfectly cooked beef wellingtons at several of the other Immortal Kombat Players.
At level 90, Gordo Rameses might actually be able to match Radon’s overwhelming power, even though he was level 100. Not gonna lie, this was a pay-per-view match I’d gladly watch if it weren’t also the perfect opportunity to bail from this cluster-cluck. The two clearly had some history, so it was better to let them deal with each other, and hopefully they’d take out the Godfeathers in the process.
Sync, Chancellor Hachem, the Karjok, and I rushed deeper into the arena as the three-way battle raged behind us. The Karjok were too slow on land, so once again we let them pile on us, each carrying a couple extra due to losing Steve.
As we ran, I again noted how I felt stronger and faster than when I’d first entered the AllVerse, not just from my boosted stats, but in a true physical way. I couldn’t be certain, but I’d long since tuned in to my body, so I knew when I was making real progress, and I sure felt stronger. It had to be from pulling the heavily-laden rickshaw all over the place. Nothing else made sense.
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
As we cleared the arena and found an exit on the opposite side, I deployed the rickshaw. Sync and the Karjok climbed on, and we left the pulsing techno music and the battle behind us. We hurried toward the fringe of the city, aiming to find the roads that led us across the canyon and back to Seaboard City.
As we exited the heart of SimpCity, the various varieties of chaos gradually subdued, and the world around us eventually returned to normal—normal in the sense that everything was calmer and closer to before Sync made the hack in the pumphouse and cistern, at least. We were still stuck in a video game, but hopefully not for much longer.
“Hey, my map says the river gorge we crossed earlier is the same river we fell into back in Seaboard City. It’s the same waterway as the canal,” Sync called, and she made a weird hooting noise, too, which I ignored. “There’s a ferry station on the docks below for World of Orc Raft. I think that’ll be better than taking the main road.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I muttered.
Apart from occasional hooting, Sync didn’t say much while we traveled, focusing more on the code scrolling by on her WHIM she’d received from the data point. As long as she was still working on getting us out of here, I was fine with it.
We found a switchback road down into the canyon that led to the docks and river access. Several Players cast lines and nets off the docks in what I had to assume was some sort of fishing simulator, because of course there would be such a thing here in the AllVerse.
“Oh, splendid! There’s water,” Chancellor Hachem announced. He and the rest of the Karjok disembarked the rickshaw and slithered to the edge of the dock, but they didn’t jump in.
When I tried to pull my rickshaw onto the docks, I got a message:
| ERROR: The Amphibious Rickshaw skill has not been unlocked. |
| Please unlock this skill on your Skill Tree to activate it. |
I put it into my inventory, and we walked instead. I’d meant to get that amphibious upgrade, that and the hang-gliding one, but I hadn’t done it yet. There were so many directions I could go with my upgrades—probably too many choices.
As we approached, Chancellor Hachem adjusted his seaweed diadem. “I say, we can take it from here. You have my thanks, human. You and your rickshaw. You’ve continued to do the Karjok a valuable service, and I do not doubt that with your aid, we can find a way out of this mess. Seems like we ought to reward you for your efforts.”
All the Karjok had survived, so I assumed that meant I’d completed the objective from earlier.
“Please, please tell me I earned more than simply the admiration of Karjok…” I muttered.
My WHIM pinged, and messages appeared on my HUD.
| Objective Completed: Get the Karjok to safety |
| Reward: +1,750 XP |
| Level Up x2 |
| Affinity Increased: Chancellor Hachem |
| Affinity Increased: Silas |
| Respect Increased: Karjok populace |
| “Friend” status with Karjok Populace attained |
I sighed for the millionth time. At least I’d leveled up. But still, the main reward—if it could be called a reward—was Karjok loyalty.
“Any chance I can get some munitions as a reward? I got you all out alive, didn’t I?” I asked.
Chancellor Hachem wiggled his tentacles. “Ah, see… we would love to share some firepower, absolutely. But… seeing as we still have such a considerably debt to pay off, and since we are still considered interlopers by the human government, we need the rest as a sort of… insurance in case anything or anyone else decides to test the might of the Karjok. You understand?”
My perfectly sculpted shoulders slumped. I couldn’t even get angry anymore. Just… depressed.
“Anyway, here, take this.” Chancellor Hachem extended a tentacle, and as it uncoiled, it revealed a transmitter. “This will help you and us keep track of each other’s location when the time comes to pay off our debt and leave Earth, or in case you get yourself into trouble. Should the latter happen, we will bravely come to your aid!”
“Great,” I said, voice flat as I took the transmitter. “Thanks.”
“Now, Silas, you protect him,” Chancellor Hachem ordered. “Keep the mission alive, and don’t lose the Octo-Boxers. One day, the Eldritch Warrior of Destiny will make himself known to us, and soon after, we will see Karjopia again!”
Fredrick scoffed. “If Silas doesn’t mess up… again.”
Silas narrowed his eyes at Fredrick.
“Enough, Fredrick. Mistakes happen. They can be forgiven. Silas will come through.” Chancellor Hachem looked at Sync, who’d finally stopped staring at her WHIM. “And you, dear lady, thank you for all your help. You are a rare pearl—a feathery one, but a pearl nonetheless.”
She flashed what I guessed was a weary smile, but it was hard to know for sure since her mouth was now a beak. “Thank you, Chancellor, take care.”
“We’re off to find Will and to break the others out of that sanitation plant. Cheers!” Chancellor Hachem and the rest of the Karjok hopped into the water one by one and drifted downstream.
“Here, Erik, take this.” A pink and blue Karjok lady handed me a strange opal stone before she jumped in.
I accepted it. “Thanks… I guess.”
| Bonus Objective Completed: No Karjok Left Behind |
| Reward: Unknown |
The Karjok drifted downriver while I stared at the stone.
Sync rang a bell on the dock. “There, an orc raft should be along shortly.”
“Ohh, that’s a Karjopian Opal! No small reward.” Silas crooned as I inspected the gem. “I am impressed, mate. I had—and still have—many concerns about you, but you did me proud today.”
“Soooo can I sell this thing? What does it do?” I dropped it on the dock to see if it would break, or maybe crack and unleash some magic or something.
“How dare you!” Silas scolded as he snatched it from the dock. “Of course you can’t sell it! Besides being nearly priceless, it’s a sign of loyalty from the Karjok. Keep it close.”
He extended it to me with one tentacle, and I stared at the opal. There was nothing remarkable about it, yet the more I stared at it, the more it seemed familiar. It made me uncomfortable.
I shook my head, took it back from him, and tucked it into my inventory. “Whatever.”
Soon our Orc raft showed up, and an Orc Player beckoned us aboard. “Greetings, gents and… uh. Ladybirds. Price is twenty AllCash each. The name’s Gorlack, son of Chief—”
“We don’t need the lore, pal, just the raft and your services. I’m sure you’re a successful business owner, play basketball with your kids on the weekends, or whatever, and have a very moving backstory, but we just need a quiet ride.”
Gorlack arched his eyebrows. “First of all, rude. Second of all, I hate basketball. I golf and don’t have kids. Or a wife. Or a girlfriend. But I do have a dog I hunt with.”
“The fact remains,” I muttered. “Quiet ride.”
“Don’t mind him, mate,” Silas said. “You just gotta get to know him a bit, then he’ll open up.”
Gorlack huffed, mumbled something to himself, and held out his hand for payment.
“No need to pay for me,” Silas hopped off into the water. “Ahh, that’s the stuff. Deserts may be abominable ecosystems, but their rivers are refreshing like no other.”
Sync paid the fee for us both and sat on the edge with her high-heeled bird feet dangling in the water. To his credit, Gorlack guided us up the river back toward Seaboard City not only quietly but also with haste, despite the trip being upriver.
The sun began to set as we approached the start of another night cycle, and I was reminded that though we didn’t technically need sleep here in the AllVerse, I still felt a measure of fatigue.
Sync’s golden eyes traced the swirling water, deep in thought.
I crouched down next to her, resting my elbows on my knees. “So what’s the play? We need to go back to Seaboard City, and then what?”
She sighed. “It’s not gonna be good.”
“Shocker.” I reconsidered my tone. “How bad is it?”
“When I took this Godfeather class, I gained access to info on their interface. I don’t have unrestricted access, but I can see enough to know that the first Relic we need is located in the Godfeather headquarters.”
“Of course it is. No chance Lucretia would make this easy for us.” I rubbed my temples. “So the goons who’ve been trying to kill us practically since we got here… we need to get inside their base of operations? Why is it there? And what is it, exactly?”
“Yeah. I—” She let out a bold owl hoot as the sun set.
Silas, Gorlack, and I leaned back, regarding her with surprise.
She widened her golden eyes. “Excuse me. That was… strangely involuntary.”
“Your other hoots weren’t?” I asked.
“They were, too. But this one felt different somehow,” she tried to explain. “Anyway, the code has fragmented into distinct parts, and the first is the key to finding the others. The code is within something, compressed like a zip file. Here in the AllVerse, it will likely appear as some physical item… or maybe several, depending on how fragmented the code is.”
“Mmkay. Do we know what those items might be?”
“Not until we find them. But once we’re close, they’ll be easy to find. In this case, specifically, all I know is that one of those Relics is in the Godfeathers’ stronghold.”
I considered asking why it was there, why this and why that, but it wouldn’t change the fact that we just needed to get it.
“So, problem one: get into the Godfeathers’ stronghold.” I traced her bombshell owl lady form, still put off by the feathers and her bird head. “Well, you’re technically a Godfeather now. Maybe you can just walk in—or flutter in like one of the team?”
She shook her head, then twisted it 180 degrees and back again.
I winced, and so did Silas—which was odd to me since he could contort himself in all sorts of unusual ways. I was the only one without unnatural contortion abilities.
Even Sync seemed surprised by the maneuver. “That was… weird. And no, I can’t just waltz in. I mean I can, but I’m still flagged as their objective. In fact,” she checked her WHIM, “look at this.”
I read her screen. She was designated as her own objective, to kill or capture.
“This is wild. The AllVerse doesn’t know how to handle my class-stealing. Sometimes I get faction objectives, but I never expected this.” She gave a mirthless chuckle. “Wow, I’m worth $10,000 AllCash dead, $15,000 alive, and a boatload of XP.”
“To me, you’re priceless, love,” Silas called.
“Thanks, Silas. The point is, if I stroll right into their headquarters, they’ll all get an alert. It won’t take them long to find me. Still, that other owl Player wanted my WHIM, so he doesn’t know it’s coded only to me. He can’t get it. If he kills me in the game, it dies with me.”
“Yeah, Icarus. It’s really obnoxious how he keeps hounding us and tracking us down.” Then I realized the predicament we’d left him and the other Godfeathers in. “I wonder how he handled Radon. Doubt that went well for him.”
Rickshaw Riot chapters will be posted every weekday. If you don't want to wait, follow us on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/collection/1588880
break--Royal Road. They call us the Critical Hitters.
In the desolate desert of the North American Sector, the government harvests the Soul Energy of siblings Eos and Maxima in secret.
When their powers attract the attention of a dangerous criminal organization, their routine lives are shattered. Eos and Maxima must search for freedom and the truth about their past as hostile forces close in.
The answers they seek lie behind one word—!
Occam's Favor
A grizzled ex-mech pilot is drawn back into the Everwar, a decades-long conflict raging across Jupiter’s moonscape.
This time he refuses to fight alone, bringing a crew of misfits and a mech powerful enough to rewrite the war itself.
is a can't-miss power-scaling mech series. Read it now!
------
Dungeon Crawler Carl Audio Immersion Tunnel for Soundbooth Theater, and he's the lead writer for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Role Playing Game.
