No sleep would come. My eyes stared into the darkness. My heart was still pounding away in my chest. Closing my eyes, I thought back to the starry desert nights and peaceful evenings at the farm. There wasn't anything in the world I wouldn't give to have some peace. Well, that wasn't really true. A sigh escaped me. Hopefully my sister was doing better than me.

  "Tyla, where are you? Are you alright?" My own voice sounded so small and frail in the stillness around me. A sigh escaped my lips. No sunlight, no fresh air, no freedom. My heavy eyelids closed and I tried to relax my face.

  "Maybe we should press the flowers; they would last longer that way," said Tyla. "That way Connie wouldn't have to watch them wilt."

  "I don't know." I stared down at the wild violets in my lap. "She might want to see them wilt." Each small round blossom felt smooth and soft as velvet on my skin. They seemed to shimmer slightly in the deep golden light. Tyla was frowning at me now, wasn’t she?

  "Why?" I sighed. How was I meant to explain my thinking?

  "I mean...if I was Connie...I feel like I-I would like to see that other things die too. I'd feel less alone that way."

  "What?"

  "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

  "No, you aren't but that's alright!" Tyla said brightly. "We can let them wilt." She set her bunch on the grave, arranging them with a loving care that made me smile as my eyes filled with tears. Tyla took my shaking hand and held it tightly. I hadn't noticed just how cold my hands were before. Now, in the warmth of her grasp, I noticed the chill in the air. I held a flower to the light and watched in awe as it shimmered like a gemstone.

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  "She always loved this color." I laughed. How could I blame her? "I remember she simply couldn't resist anything that was purple." I remembered all the times I had rushed to yank different items out of her plump hands. The way her eyes just lit up at the sight of her favorite color had always made me laugh.

  "I remember!" Tyla smiled. "I remember how she spent so much time pulling on those curtains in the kitchen!" We laughed together. I kissed the flower before setting it down next to her tiny gravestone. "You're cold as ice, Tiffany!" Tyla exclaimed, rushing to remove her hoodie and wrap it around me.

  "I-I'm okay, Tyla."

  "No! You aren't! Stop saying that!" Tyla shook me by my shoulders. She was crying too. "Are you sure?" I nodded.

  "I-I just miss her...so much. And... it’s so easy to wonder..."

  "Wonder what?"

  "I wonder what she would be like if she had lived, if she had grown up. That's just something I'll never get to see." Tyla pulled me into a tight hug. This was the part where I snapped and started crying like a little baby. "I know it's been years! But it still hurts to think about her!"

  "I know, it's hard," Tyla whispered to me.

  "I think I hear her sometimes! In the middle of the night, when it's all quiet and still, I hear her laughing next to me." It was just so easy to imagine opening my eyes and seeing her there lying next to me, smiling, giggling at me, my pretty little baby.

  "I love you, Tiffany.

  "I love you too." I tried to relax and focus on breathing. I savored the bright golden light, the warmth of Tyla's bear hug, and the bittersweet purple of my flowers. Violets, so small, yet so sweet, just like little Connie. It broke my heart every time I allowed myself to wonder and wish. How would she look if she was still here? How would she talk? Well, at least I had known her, if only for a short time. It hadn't been enough, but it had been enough. Enough to change me forever, enough to fix her forever in my mind. And I felt her loss every minute of every day.