I had found a Conscriptable creature who was level 46. I could now activate FATE’s glitch to make Hergvor permanent.

  The trick would be convincing the cat to be be Conscripted at all.

  As I stood there pondering this, rustling sounded in the trees. I looked up to find Todd exiting the forest with six people and seven panthers in tow.

  “A creature just appeared near the village,” he said, sounding breathless. It was clear that the whole group had been running. “It attacked a scout, then fled. It was like no creature we had ever seen before. We thought it might have been the spirit creature you were seeking, and we were freaked out. We thought it might’ve killed you.”

  “Nope,” Feather chirped. “That one just got scared off.” She tilted her spear at me. “He was right. There were three of them, all of them real wacky-looking. He helped me kill two of them and the parrot scared off the last one.”

  Feather suddenly seemed perfectly fine with the idea that she’d helped to murder someone. Maybe the pear’s effects had worn off.

  “I would have chased the Hunter down,” Dave put in, “but she had a blink spell. She teleported too far out of my range. I can’t go too far from Remmy, see.”

  Todd looked at Dave like he was some sort of god, his hazel eyes wide. “You fought that abomination?”

  I raised an eyebrow. This was the one alien I hadn’t laid eyes on yet, and she was both chicken-like and an abomination? I wasn’t sure if I should be afraid of her or if I should get my fry basket ready.

  “Sure I did. Wasn’t the first time either,” Dave said. “I’ve met her on other Hunts. Beccara, I think her name was. Or Bridget? Bethanii? She even ran with Remmy for a while, right, Remmy?”

  “Stop calling me that,” I snapped, because Remnant would have hated the name. I kinda hated it, too. “It’s not my name anyway. I’m Talon. Call me that.”

  Fuck You Dave: Nice one. You’re pretending to be an alien pretending to be you. We can actually get away with that, I think.

  Remnant: How can you possibly know other Hunters? Don’t they all die?

  Fuck You Dave: Only in the first rounds. After that, some of them surrender themselves out of the game.

  Remnant: What? How? Can we do that?

  Fuck You Dave: We can, but then we’d just go back to prison.

  Remnant: Wait. PRISON????

  Dave shrugged. I fought for words, even a string of mental ones to Whisper to him, but the only thing that came to mind was the shadow creature telling the slime creature that he was in the Hunt because he’d killed twenty people.

  Oohhh. This suddenly made more sense. The game wasn’t a game at all for the players. It was a game for the viewers.

  Remnant: Are you saying the Hunters didn’t choose to be here—that this is all a part of their prison sentence?

  Fuck You Dave: Well, prisoners can opt out, but winning a game here takes ten years off your sentence.

  Remnant: TEN?

  Fuck You Dave: Everyone in the game has a life sentence, Tal. Or several. Remnant had a 99-year prison term.

  This was more news to me, but wasn’t everything? Todd was still looking frazzled by the fact that a small, lime-green parrot knew an eldritch horror personally, and had somehow almost killed it. I changed tack.

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  “So, we saved you from yourselves like we fucking said we would,” I told Todd, crossing my arms. “Also, those pears you’ve been eating have a magical effect. A bad one. Stop eating them. They’ll keep you from defending yourselves when more Hunters come.”

  Todd reached up to his chest, where he gripped a wooden peace sign on a leather thong. Where had that come from? He must have carved it himself.

  I pointed over the cliff. “There’s two dead Hunters down there. You can loot their bodies. They’ll have better weapons and items for you to use.”

  “You… you don’t want them?” Todd asked.

  “The hell he doesn’t!” Dave exclaimed, throwing in a little squawk for good measure.

  I crossed my arms again. “Consider it an act of goodwill. You may be high-level, but your spears and gear are basic. You need to start hunting mobs to get more items, and to level yourselves up.”

  “What are you talking about?” Dave said. “They’re about to be stuck in this forest once the Level ends! Who’s gonna attack them then?”

  I ignored him. “Let’s go back to your encampment,” I said. “Just because I’m giving you my loot doesn’t mean I don’t want anything at all. Now that Dave and I have saved your pacifist asses, I need a little something from you, or else we won’t be able to help you again.”

  Todd glanced back at the others, but it was Feather who spoke. “We’ll help you, Spirit Guide,” she said, bowing her head. To Todd, she said, “You didn’t see it. He has some seriously awesome powers. We need him on our side, if we’re going to have to fight more creatures like that. Also, I think I ascended. I feel different.”

  I had seen it too—like the panther, Feather had leveled up, only she’d done it twice. I found that odd. Hunters were apparently worth a lot more experience points to mobs than they were worth to me, if killing just two could take her from 35 to 37. Hergvor had also gone up, meaning all NPCs could level. That wasn’t true in the original game.

  But seeing her level change, and Flower’s, had given me an insidious idea. I needed to get back to their camp to make sure I set it up properly. If it didn’t work, so be it. But if it did work….

  “Okay, sure. Whatever you need,” Todd said. “Come on, let’s get back to camp.”

  #

  As the designated leader of this little commune, Todd had been granted his very own hut. We’d been sitting in it for the last hour while every single Tendua walked through, bowed their heads, and let Todd add them to his party.

  Turns out, he had a rudimentary menu, a little like Hergvor did, but better. Once I taught him how to make it appear with the necessary game gestures, he was able to form a Party, and put all of his tribespeople in said party. He could also equip things, and he and the other Luminous mages all had a fixed set of three spell slots, already pre-filled with spells.

  “You’ll want to start training with those,” I explained to him. “It looks like your menu is only good for spells and equipment, but even that much is going to give you a leg up. And you’ll want the stat boost you get from leveling, even if it’s not very good.”

  When we’d arrived, Feather had let me look at her menu. I’d hoped to see optional upgrades, since she’d leveled, but she was not allowed to choose what changed about her character.

  At first, I couldn’t see what the leveling had done for her, but then I checked another Tendua Scout and compared the level-35 Scout to the level-37 Feather. Her Dexterity had gone up two points, and her Strength and Charisma had gone up 1.

  While the game now allowed NPCs to level, it allocated their stats according to a predetermined schedule. Still, it was better than nothing, and they could still adjust their spells, armor, and weapons.

  Todd grabbed his own staff and rose. “We’ll get started right away. I’ve seen lots of these weird deer around here. I don’t think we can convince the panthers to let us kill the wild panthers, though.”

  “That’s fine. I’m pretty sure the deer will respawn after a short period anyway.”

  “Rad.”

  He definitely seemed a lot more excited about killing than before. The aura from the pear was long gone.

  I moved to stand, too, since my business was concluded, but a young boy hurried in, with two teenage girls watching from behind the curtain that covered the front of the hut. These three were the youngest people I’d seen in the whole commune, and I’d asked Todd where the kids were.

  Oh, we never let kids into the commune, not until they’re at least 16, Todd had explained. It’s a big decision, you know, giving up an ID chip. And it’s permanent. So we make the kids wait, and most of them never come back. Most of them are just mad at their dads.

  What a wild life these people must have been living. I wondered where exactly they’d been, but the boy was shoving a covered basket in my face, so it wasn’t a good time to ask.

  “Here,” he blurted. “Take this. We could hear your stomach rumbling.”

  I almost told him no, but then I reached out and tapped the Loot All icon. The basket disappeared, along with the wide paisley scarf stretched across its top (where the hells had that come from?) and whatever probably-fermented thing was inside it.

  “Remember not to eat the pears if you’re hungry,” I told the kid

  “Thanks,” I said. My hunger was now a cold knot in my belly. Fermented or not, I was going to wolf down whatever the kid had just given me, once I finally arrived to the vault.

  The kid blushed and then ran out again. The girls giggled and vanished with him.

  My chest gave a twist. They might be teenagers, but they were still kids, and that made me think of Lore.

  I turned back to Todd. “Where did—do you live, anyway? What Synth?” I asked.

  “We were in the Canadian States. A town called Agassiz.”

  I’d never heard of it, but that Synth was known for preserving more of its natural beauty than most.

  “I… I hope you get back there someday,” I said.

  He gave a sage nod, his dreads dipping serenely. “Once the quest is done, my dude.”

  I hesitated. Should I tell him what all of this really was?

  I shook the thought. He’d figure it out soon enough, and he would be less terrified until then. Right now, they thought they’d leave their little “dream” if they died here. If they thought they would actually die, I was pretty sure they’d all just sit still and let nature reclaim them.

  I had to see them toughen up before that happened.

  I’ll save them. I’ll save as many as I can.