I tried to move my legs. They responded, which was… a good sign.

  Galateya wiggled on me slightly, gradually releasing me. Her eerie extradimensional wings winked out of existence, leaving only faint, fading rainbows in the air.

  She stared up at the branch and flower-dome ceiling, eyes wide and unfocused. "I felt... you. While I was riding you. While you were inside her."

  "Entanglement," Sage slurred. "We shared the data stream. High-bandwidth bonking. Efficiency!"

  “Insanity, more like it,” Galateya panted and then nuzzled into my embrace. “Ugh. Why did I think that my first time would be normal?”

  “Normal be overrated and boring,” Sage shrugged. She cracked one blue eye open, peering at me. "How you doin’, Emperor? You look like you got put through a blender set to 'puree'."

  "I feel like I got torn in half and glued back together," I admitted.

  "Technically accurate," Sage grinned. "Side effect of localized reality distortion on a mundane. Your soul got a biiiiiiit stretched during the bonkage. It’ll snap back. Probably."

  "Probably?"

  "Eh. Fifty-fifty." She reached down, playfully swatting at a pile of pink petals gathering on her toned, wet stomach. "Worth it."

  I critically looked down at myself.

  One body. Two hands. Everything seemed to be in the right place, even if my skin felt overly sensitive. The echo of unreality persisted, like an edge of another me.

  “Worth it.” I agreed.

  Galateya yawned. A few petals stuck to her damp pink-red crystal-flower-hair. She looked at Sage, then at me, then down at herself and smiled.

  "We defeated him," she stated, sounding proud of herself. "We hunted him for six hours. We caught him. We..." She blushed with ruby textures. "We… Had sex."

  "Damn right! Teamwork makes the dream work," Sage finger-gunned Teya. “The virgin-ness stat is voided! Broke reality to maximise friction too!”

  Galateya opened her mouth to make a comment, then closed it. She looked at the vines, the flowers, the blooming jungle filling the rotting shack. "This domain really responds to me. I’ve never been able to bend a place this much."

  "Sagetopia likes you," Sage said. She curled into a ball on the moss. "Entropy likes when Syntropy plays with it. You brought big Syntropy energy, T-bun. You made my dead camp bloom."

  I sat up slightly, groaning as my spine popped in three places. The tree-wrapped TVs watched me. Hundreds of fox eyes blinked on the screens.

  "So," I said, wiping sweat from my forehead. "Hunt over?"

  Sage giggled. "Hunt over. Prey captured. Subdued. Thoroughly licked and bonked."

  Galateya nuzzled my shoulder. "Captured. I… captured the Emperor of Humanity." She giggled, sounding impressed with her own success.

  I wrapped an arm around her. My other hand found Sage, pulling the fox closer until we were a singular pile of warmth.

  “We both did,” Sage nodded.

  “At the same time,” Galateya let out. “I still don't understand why…”

  “Sagetopia already propped up Ash in the Astral while his mind existed between the Earth and the moon,” Sage said. “So it wasn't too hard for the skulk to split him dimensionally in two again."

  "No, uhm," Galateya let out. "I meant why... It's, uhm, really strange. When interacting with other Omnids on the Slayer's sword, I either felt incredibly jealous of their position or beat down because my level is below theirs. Why don't I feel jealous of... sharing Ash with you? Like... at all?"

  "Ah! As for that…” Sage fell silent for a moment. “I think that we’re the same,” the fox outputted finally.

  “The same… In what way?” Galateya asked. “I’m assuredly not a Skinwalker with fourteen thousand and some souls.”

  “I think, and this is a bigly guess by the skulk sniffery, so take it with some salt granaries… I think that we are the same base soul,” Sage stated. “Born in two different dimensions. Two different bodies. Two paths. I’m a child of this Earth and you’re a bubble-bae. Which is like its own dimension, right?”

  “Right,” Galateya nodded. “So, um, how many similar souls are out there then?”

  “Oh like an infinite number,” Sage wiggled against me. “Is actually how I got in touch with Omnithornia.”

  “How?” I asked, shivering slightly.

  “Another me lives there,” Sage said. “My reflection. A reeeeeal smartypants bird. Her name’s Vespera Simmi and she’s a Thunderbird Omnid. She assembled an Astral radio for her first year at Skyfall and been tinkering with it since, reaching out across infinity. Me and her have been exchanging notes on things for a while now.”

  “And there’s other me-s out there too?” I asked.

  “Totes.” Sage nodded.

  “That’s… kind of weird,” I said.

  “Not really.” She shrugged. “The other yous have other bodies, grew up in different Aetheric density, endured other terrible or incredible lives. Sometimes they’re more Syntropic, sometimes more Entropic, changed by Systemfall. Sometimes more linear. Is all good dimensional physics fun. Much variance."

  The adrenaline finally bled out of my system. It left behind a weariness in my bones, bruises and a shiver that started at the base of my spine. The moss beneath me was soft, albeit damp, holding the moisture of the valley fog.

  "Soooo…. Does Sagetopia have a bathroom? A shower? A towel? Anything civilized?" I wondered.

  "Bathroom?" Sage scoffed. "The whole valley is a bathroom, bro. Pick a tree. Any tree. The ferns enjoy the nitrogen."

  "I mean a toilet," I corrected. "And plumbing. Hot water."

  "Overrated," Sage dismissed the concept. "We lick ourselves clean like civilized apex predators."

  "I am not licking myself clean," I stated.

  “You’ve two perfectly good Omnid girlfriends here to lick you,” she offered, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

  Galateya made a mildly concerned noise at that. I sighed.

  A drop of water hit my forehead. Then another.

  Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

  The sky partially blocked by Galateya-manifested bioluminescent tree branches rumbled with thunder.

  Then, the heavens dumped a deluge upon us. Icy, Pacific Northwest rain pounded through the holes into the interior of the shack, soaking the moss, the TVs, and our naked bodies.

  "Cold!” I gasped as the freezing water hit my skin.

  "Ack! Darn inconvenient sudden precipitation. T-bun!" Sage squeaked, scrambling to cover her head with her hands. "Do the thermodynamic wobbly-woo!"

  Galateya hissed, her scales flashing bright orange. She glared at the incoming deluge. Steam erupted instantly. The air filled with thick, white fog as she boiled the rain mid-air.

  The water hitting us shifted from freezing to bathwater-warm in a heartbeat. It poured over us in a humid curtain.

  "It is still wet," I wiped hot water from my eyes.

  "You complained about the temperature," Galateya huffed, water streaming down her flushed face. "I fixed the temperature. I cannot make this much incoming water instantly dry, Ash."

  My stomach let out a rumble.

  Sage’s ears perked up. "Ooh. The hunger growl. The regal human-beast needs fuel."

  She rolled off the moss pile and scrambled toward a teetering stack of CRT monitors in the corner. I stared at her alluring behind as she pulled a rotting cabinet open.

  "Wardrobe change!" she announced.

  Clothes flew through the air.

  A wad of fabric hit Galateya in the face. She peeled it off, inspecting the garment with a frown. It was a neon pink t-shirt with glitter text.

  "'Thot Patrol'?" the dragon asked, reading the faded letters.

  "It is a rank," Sage stated smoothly. "Very prestigious. Put it on. And these." She tossed a pair of grey sweatpants at the dragon.

  She rummaged deeper, pulling out a “FOX U” black tank top for herself and a pair of black pants with white stripes.

  "And for the Emperor..." She flashed around the wet, mossy cabin, wrinkling her nose. She pulled out a bundle of grey and black fabric from a corner and threw them at me. "Your original gear. Sorry. I kind of shredded it a little during the capture phase and my stuff def’ won't fit you.”

  I accepted my clothes. The grey t-shirt had claw marks down the front. The black workout pants were torn at the knee. Dax’s leather boots were muddy and thankfully intact.

  I pulled the damp fabric over my skin. It smelled like sweat and was wet and stained with mud.

  "Bleh, wet clothes," I muttered, shuddering as I laced up a boot.

  "Shush. You look rugged." Sage pulled her tight pants up along with a bag containing my tablet. "Like a survivor of a sexy apocalypse hunt. Which you technically are."

  The six hours of hiking and running, the dual-consciousness trick, the broadcasting, however long we had sex… it all assuredly burned calories I didn't have. I swayed on my feet slightly.

  "Okay," Sage said, appearing at my side instantly. "You are running on fumes. We need yums in you before you pass out and I have to explain to the other me-s why I lost my precious Emperor."

  "I can walk," I lied.

  "Not fast enough."

  She swept my legs out. I yelped as the world tilted. Sage caught me, hoisting me into her arms and over her shoulder.

  "T-bun!" Sage ordered, taking off. "Follow me back to the parkin’ lot! Go, go, go!"

  Galateya followed, looking somewhat silly in the tight 'Thot Patrol' shirt. She leaped through the broken door, splashing into the mud.

  Rain lashed at my face. The warm steam of the shack gave way to the biting cold of the valley. Sage ran with inhuman speed, her clawed feet tearing up the earth. Trees blurred past as dark, looming shapes in the downpour.

  I bounced on Sage, feeling tired, useless and heavy. Even in the rain she smelled absolutely fantastic.

  "You are pretty dense for a nerd," she panted, leaping over a fallen log without breaking stride.

  "Muscle density," I mumbled, closing my eyes against the rain. “I work out. Sometimes.”

  "Sure ya do, bud."

  We burst out of the tree line and onto the gravel parking lot. My red jank-ass car sat there, a beacon of mediocrity in the gloom.

  Sage deposited me next to the driver's side door. I leaned against the metal, fumbling for my keys in the zipped pants pocket.

  My hands shook. I dropped the keys.

  Galateya snatched them from the mud before I could bend down. "You are shaking. I will drive."

  “You know how to drive a human car?" I asked.

  "I have observed," she said confidently, unlocking the door. "It is just steering and pedals. Simple geometry."

  "Nu," Sage interjected. "I'll drive.”

  She scrambled into the driver seat.

  I wobbled aimlessly for a minute and then was pulled by Galateya into the back seat with her.

  The seat was cold. The interior smelled like stale fries and old pine air freshener. Galateya looked at me for a few seconds and then wrapped herself around me. Her body ignited with heat, rapidly drying me off. I closed my eyes, leaning into her steamy embrace.

  The engine coughed, sputtered, and roared to life.

  "To the food!" Sage declared.

  She peeled out of the gravel lot, tires spinning.

  The drive to Cascade was a blur of windshield wipers slapping against glass.

  "Hi," Teya said. Her scales felt fantastically smooth against my arm, feeling like warm, mossy stones baked in the sun. “You’re still shivering? Do you need more heat? Because I can adjust my body to…”

  "Nah, you’re pretty warm and cozy already. I'm already dry. Just the adrenaline crash," I yawned. "The hunt catching up to me.”

  “So you’re comfortable?”

  “Very.”

  We both fell silent for a minute. Windshield wipers slapped against the glass, a rhythmic metronome counting down our departure from the spooky wonders of Sagetopia.

  "I… earned an answer," Galateya murmured against my shoulder. "One… extra-truthful answer.”

  "You earned more than one," I said. "You and Sage won all the questions, Teya. Ask whatever your Fractal Engine heart desires. I’m done hiding things from you."

  "Why did you really bond with me?" she asked softly. "Why did you ask me to do the blood pact in the kitchen that day?"

  I opened my eyes, watching the rain smear the headlights of passing cars into long streaks of red and yellow.

  "Because you looked lonely," I said. "You stood there in your hexasuit, terrified of your great-grandmother, terrified of this world, trying so hard to be the perfect knight. I saw someone who was just as lost as I was when I came back to this empty house."

  “You were… lost?”

  “Very,” I said. “Before Shady crashed back into my life… I was extra lost. No girlfriend, no IRL friends to hang out with, just a massive mansion to renovate with money I didn’t have. I had a degree I did not care that much about, a legacy I did not understand, and a house full of ghosts. I was waiting for something to happen. Anything." I turned my head to look at her. Violet eyes watched me in the dark interior. "Then a monster crawled out from under my bed. Then a vampire gave me her phone number in a shop. Then a cat with a gun fell from the sky. Then a dragon knocked on my door. You were part of the madness, yes, but it was a good kind of madness.”

  "Ah."

  "You made me feel needed," I admitted. "Not just as a tool or an Emperor. As a person. You needed a guide. I needed someone to guide."

  Galateya made a small, vibrating sound in her chest. “You didn’t guide me that much.”

  “I tried to,” I said. “I’m working on it now.”

  “We both are,” Sage stated. “Let us be yo’ Earth-guides. Show you the world on our magic carpet n’ shit.”

  “You have a magic carpet?” Galateya asked.

  “Pfff. No, it’s an Alladin ref,” Sage stated. She began humming the “Let me show you world” theme music from Alladin.

  "Another question," Galateya whispered with a soft smile.

  "Go ahead," I replied.

  "Are you... afraid of us? Like… of Sage with her mind-bending. Me with the... ice."

  "Yes," I said.

  She stiffened.

  "A pitch of rational fear is reasonable," I continued. "You're both terrifying in specific ways. You could kill me by accident. You could break my mind or freeze my blood or eat my soul. However, such feelings also make me feel alive. It is better than the gray numbness I felt for years. I would rather be a little scared and loved than safe and empty. Anyways, Shades’ is the scary one. You’re pretty chill in comparison. On the scale of chill-ness I’d put you first, then Nexxy, then Sage, then Shades."

  "Loved," she repeated the word, testing it.

  "Yeah. Loved."

  "I think..." She paused, her breath hot on my skin. "I think I can do that. I can do the love thing."

  "Good. Because I am going to need a lot of it to survive the future. I only took out one ship, the rest are still out there.”

  The car tires crunched over gravel as Sage pulled into the lot behind Books and Nooks. The Victorian house loomed dark against the rainy sky, a warm, yellow glow spilling from the kitchen windows.

  "Here we are," Sage announced, killing the engine. "One nommage place with bathroomage.”