Countless flashing images flooded his slowly waking mind as his consciousness returned from the vision. The first thing he did was scribble down the exact details of the vision before sticking the sticky note to the fridge. Bad omens were always meant to go on the fridge.

  "Train...car...death...toll..." blared out from the radio behind waves of static.

  The radio was caught between frequencies and spouted out the daily prophecy as always. It had been an ingenious solution for automated divination. All the radio needed to tell the future nowadays was an observer around to hear its prophecy and it would somehow come true. Luckily it was getting an observer on this day of all days.

  Keeping the apartment clean was difficult and just annoying in general, but now he had finally hired someone to do it for him. It hadn't been cheap and would most likely end up being the largest drain on his economy from here on out, but while she had been very expensive she had promised him over the phone that she had just the outfit for the job. A real professional.

  The computer whirred to life the moment he opened the case and shorted two of the pins on the motherboard with a screwdriver. For some reason he had never really trusted power buttons. It was like they were both lazy and inconsistent when it came to doing their job, but when he shorted the pins himself there was no one to blame but him if the computer didn't start.

  "Do you need some assistance?" the oracular paper clip on the screen asked him.

  "I'm fine, but thanks for asking!"

  "Are you sure?" it asked him one more time.

  "Yes I'm sure," he said as politely as he could.

  "Really?"

  "Yes I'm sure darn it!" he shouted as he erased the current incarnation of the paperclip oracle by condemning it to a fate in the purgatorial trash bin.

  The paperclip oracle was not a trustworthy source of information. It dealt not in precognition, but predestination. While one meant predicting the future the other meant guiding the unfortunate listener towards a predetermined fate of the prophet's choosing, which was the territory of malicious entities and unscrupulous fortune tellers with unknowable agendas.

  Three quick knocks on the door made him look away from the ongoing poker game on the screen for a short moment. The game was won anyways so he didn't need to worry about overthinking it and just walked away from the pc. The only question on his mind was if the three knocks were a code of some sort.

  "Lucky me, it's just you and not some assassin with poor fashion sense," he said as he opened the door and laid eyes on the woman standing outside his apartment.

  He shook her hand and led the woman whose name was Gabriella inside the apartment. She was wearing the maid uniform just like she had promised when they talked over the phone the day before. The card he had gotten from one of his associates had revealed that she was a highly trained maid, armed escort, and part time doctor. Her varied talents marked her as a consummate professional and he would need all of her talents for the work that lay ahead of him.

  "So should I get to it right now or do you like want me to talk dirty to you first?" she asked him cautiously.

  "Right the mess!" he exclaimed, "I fear that the apartment is in grave need of some cleaning and I've got all the supplies that you will need to deal with it on hand."

  "Wait did you think?"

  "See you were the only professional I could find that ticked all the boxes and you'll make a perfect assistant in the future."

  Her expression displayed some amount of confusion and a bit of wariness, but she relaxed the moment he handed her the cleaning supplies in the closet. Whatever worries she held had been laid to rest and without the slightest hesitation she approached the monumental task of cleaning the apartment.

  "So you're really into roleplay I take it?" she asked him as she wiped down the coffee table in the living room.

  "Roleplay? I didn't know you were a trained agent and infiltrator as well, but I guess that's not something you would put on your resumé."

  The poker game continued as she cleaned the apartment in relative silence. He attacked the game by running multiple lines of probability at once with his spell until he found one eventuality that suited him. Once he had locked in the winning series of events he leaned back in his chair and watched the other contestants drop out of the game one at a time as they lost each and every hand to him. His probabilistic temporal magic rendered him practically unbeatable when it came to games of chance, which meant that online poker had become a great source of extra revenue in addition to being a great pastime.

  "Isn't that the fifth table you've won by now?" Gabriella asked him as she leaned over his shoulder to take a closer look at the screen.

  "An astute observation on a surface level, but that's not entirely correct," he said slowly as to not overwhelm his new assistant, "In truth I've lost about two hundred and ninety six games today, but I made sure they never actually happened."

  "Is that like the expert gambler way of saying that you calculated all the games you would lose and then only played hands you knew you would win?"

  "No I quite literally had to play hundreds of games before discarding all losing eventualities from the timeline and locking in the winning ones."

  Gabriella's reflection on the monitor indicated that she was experiencing some amount of confusion concerning his statements. He wasn't exactly the best when it came to putting his process into words so instead he reached for a sticky note on his desk and started drawing a more digestible explanation.

  "See this line? It branches off towards countless different eventualities depending on which actions I choose to take," he said to her as he held up the sticky note.

  "Okay?"

  "Therefore I split my actions across multiple branches so that when I discover the one that results in success I can just delete all other branches," he said as he crossed out every line on the paper except for one.

  "Harry, why did you actually hire me?" she said with a deep sigh.

  "I needed an escort with a wide range of talents and the one that recommended you promised that you would deliver on all fronts," he stated matter of factly.

  "What the hell do you think the word escort means?!"

  "Like an assistant, but with combat skills I suppose?"

  Was she testing him to make sure he was a good employer? Perhaps her former employers had left her with a chip on her shoulder and a cold personality hiding beneath the surface. One way or the other he had to prove that he was the perfect employer because there was no way in hell he would succeed in the future without someone as skilled as her by his side.

  The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  He reached for the large bundled up wad of cash held together by one brave rubber band and handed it to her. Her eyes went wide as she looked down at the money in her hand. Her going rate had been five hundred an hour, but with that amount of money there was no way in hell that she would say no to a long term employment with him.

  "Look, Gabriella, while I may be incredibly talented there are some things I just can't do on my own," he mumbled as she looked at him, "I'm sort of helpless on my own, but I'm sure that with you by my side people will finally see that I'm more than just some guy who's too afraid to go to the mall when he needs a new pair of gloves."

  "Harry, is this your special way of saying that you need some kind of help?"

  "Yes! I need you to help me with things because otherwise my current investigation might end up as a complete fiasco and then no one will ever take me seriously!" he exclaimed as she stared at him with sympathetic eyes.

  "This is an insane amount of money, Harry, why would you give this much money to anyone?"

  "Well if you were going to work with me long term I felt like I needed to show that I could pay you a much better wage than your past employers..."

  He sat there in silence as he waited for her to say something. The anticipation was killing him, but if he had made a good impression there was no doubt that she would accept his deal. Without her by his side he would have to cancel the entire investigation and would end up becoming the laughingstock of all independent investigators.

  "Fine, I will cancel all my future appointments and work with you for the week," she said with loud sigh, "But I'm going to need to change because I am not going to walk around in public wearing this fucking maid outfit."

  "Will you stay on long term if the week turns out alright?" he asked her cautiously.

  "We'll see about that, but at least this will feel way less degrading than working with my other clients," she muttered, "Mind if I change in your bathroom?"

  "Go right ahead, and might I say you did a splendid job cleaning the place!"

  "Thanks..."

  He had finally done it. Someone had been willing to work with him for the first time ever. No one had ever been that accepting of him before, but he would have to work hard to make sure she wanted to keep working with him once the week came to an end. This could be the start of an amazing partnership if he didn't screw it up like he always did.

  "So what's your schedule for today then?" she asked him as she stepped out of the bathroom wearing a much more casual outfit.

  "I need to sneak into the mall, have a talk with an overseer investigator, and I also promised to deal with a haunted house."

  "Is that Harry speak for needing help going shopping, meeting with some sort of therapist or coach, and that there's a building you're afraid of for some reason?"

  "My therapist appointment is actually tomorrow, I do need groceries, and no the building is definitely haunted."

  "Well whatever it is you need to do, you better get to it so let's go," she said as she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out the door.

  Usually he would try to avoid physical contact unless absolutely necessary or politeness demanded it from him, but she was his work partner now and with her talents there had to be a reason for it so he just went along with it even if it made his skin crawl. By the time they were outside the apartment building she let go off his arm and looked at him with a concerned expression.

  "You look really tense, Harry, I wouldn't have dragged you out by the arm if you had just said something."

  "I thought there was a reason behind it..."

  "Damn it, Harry, if physical contact makes you so uncomfortable then you should've just told me off the moment I touched you!"

  Her sudden and loud outburst made him instantly recoil. His hands had moved of their own accord to cover his ears the moment she raised her voice at him. She sighed and looked at him with pity as he slowly removed his hands from his ears.

  "Not good with loud voices either I take it?"

  "I don't like physical contact, loud things, or people in uniforms," he stammered as he tried his best to avoid her gaze.

  "Got it, and clearly eye contact seems bother you as well," she sighed.

  "It's number four on the list..."

  They walked in silence as they made their way towards the mall. Maybe telling her about all the things he disliked had been the wrong choice even if she had asked, but there was no way of knowing until she decided to speak up.

  Going shopping on his own had always been problematic since the security guards at the mall weren't trustworthy. One time he had caught glimpse of an eventuality heralding his death by their hand and ever since he had avoided going to mall without someone to accompany him. The problem with the future was that a line of probability had an increased likelihood of occuring if someone observed it. Precognition could easily become predestination if he looked at a specific eventuality for too long.

  "Well we're here so what is it that you need to buy?" she asked him as they stepped through the revolving doors at the entrance of the mall.

  "Well I need more instant meals from the grocery store as well as a jerrycan from the hardware store."

  "Good then we'll go and have you buy all of that so that we can move on because you're making the security nervous with all of your staring."

  Once they were done shopping at the mall he started walking towards the gas station two blocks down. Lola had agreed to meet him there and bring him all the information he needed to work the case as well as that pair of gloves she had promised him. It was the perfect meeting spot since he need gasoline for the jerrycan and the cameras around the gas station always made him less nervous.

  "Over here, Lola!" he called out to her the moment she came into view.

  "Why is she wearing suit? Is she a cop?" Gabriella asked him as Lola moved over to them.

  "Jesus, Harry, you can't go dragging ordinaires into your business," she said to him in a reprimanding tone before turning towards Gabriella, "I'm so sorry, but please just take whatever money he gave you and try to avoid him from now on so you don't end up getting hurt because of him."

  "Well that's too bad seeing as he already paid me for the week and helping a guy like him with chores I can easily handle," she huffed as she stared Lola down.

  "Lady, Harry is a very problematic individual to deal with already and I really don't want you to get hurt because of his stupidity."

  "She's an escort, Lola, she's trained in countless fields including armed combat so if anything I'm safer because of her!" he declared as Lola let out a frustrated sigh.

  "I'm just going to assume that's Harry speak for me making you feel safe while you're shopping," Gabriella said the moment he finished his short tirade.

  "No if he says something it's because he fully means it," Lola said without raising her voice, "Almost everything that Harry says is literal no matter how strange his statements may seem at times."

  He moved over to one of the pumps and started filling the jerrycan while Lola spoke. Her words were clearly meant for Gabriella so even if he heard the conversation in the background he wasn't meant to act on anything that they said. It gave him time to prepare the gasoline he would need for the haunted house and that was a good thing.

  "Are you his probation officer or something?" she asked Lola while he watched the numbers spinning on the pump as he filled the jerrycan.

  "Are you not questioning the fact he's currently filling a jerrycan at a gas station?"

  "He seems to be very particular and he's probably just afraid that he'll run out of gas when he's driving or something."

  "He doesn't own a car, so he's clearly planning on using that gasoline for something and a relaxing drive is definitely not on the agenda!" Lola exclaimed.

  "You can hand the files to my assistant and escort!" he shouted to Lola as he finished filling the jerrycan before leaving a large bundle of cash on top of the pump.

  "Please, do not go with him because it can only end poorly for you," Lola pleaded.

  "The guy seems very lonely, he pays me well just for accompanying him throughout the day, and clearly the world treats him like shit," Gabriella hissed, "So no thank you I will go with him because honestly I think he deserves a break."

  "Your fucking funeral," Lola muttered as she handed the files over to Gabriella.

  Lola hopped in her car and drove off just as he moved back over to Gabriella. The guy working the counter at the gas station had been nice enough to give him a packet of beef jerky for being a repeat customer or something, and he never said no to free food.

  "Is that beef jerky?" she asked him.

  "Crazy story, the guy inside just gave it to me after I paid for the gas."

  "Can I have some?"

  "Well we're partners so why not?" he chuckled as he gave her the remaining beef jerky.

  The walk to the haunted house took a little over an hour. Gabriella complained about the way Lola had treated him throughout the trip, but to be fair Lola hadn't tried to be rude so the anger was misplaced as far as he was concerned. It was just true that being around him was to the detriment of those that chose to associate with him.

  "Well that house is creepy alright, but that doesn't mean it's haunted," she said as they set foot on the property.

  Despite having been abandoned for years there were few if any signs of disrepair. All the windows were dark and the temperature dropped significantly the closer they got to the door. A common sign of a haunting. To his magical senses the vile magic clinging to the property was clear as day, but for an ordinaire like her it was just another house albeit a creepy one.

  "It would be safer if you wait outside while I deal with the haunting," he said as he unscrewed the lid of the jerrycan.

  "Please tell me you're not going to burn the place down!" she exclaimed as he grabbed his lighter.

  "I don't know how to exorcise spirits, but fire hasn't failed me yet!" he shouted as he opened the doors and ran inside.