Chaotic Connection

  Thanks to Aisha, Blade managed to calm down and rethink the situation. Yes, everything was complicated, but after thinking about it, there were some upsides.

  ?Since everything would be centered in an Arena, it would give them a better overview and hinder anyone from openly meddling in their fight. It also reduced the risk for bystanders and innocents. Most of all, since everyone was centered, it cut the time that would have been put into searching. If you looked past the downsides, it was an okay idea.

  ?“Well then, since we have no choice, we will head to the Arena.”

  ?“If that’s your wish, I’ll follow you.”

  ?Severance said with a bow before dispersing, as Blade’s chain marks gained their purple inscription. Aisha nodded, a gleam in her eyes from being able to explore more. Though she was often quiet, Aisha had an exploring soul, quite liking seeing different things and traveling.

  ?So after a brief food break, where Blade and Aisha indulged themselves a bit, they began. Bara had not given them any concrete position nor destination, but they had gotten a general direction as to where to go. There was no point idling by, hoping for another such chance encounter, so after packing, they began traveling to the east.

  ?Aisha had made a pegasus familiar for herself, reasoning that she felt she was slowing down Blade, who assured her that he did not mind. He was speaking the truth, as he was not against taking it slow for her, but if she insisted on going quicker, he would not protest.

  ?She had also asked if Blade wanted to ride, but he had said he would rather run, preferring going on foot as he ran beside her. The biggest problem was probably the lack of a proper destination, combined with the fact they traveled for multiple days.

  ?Yet through their travel, the thing that plagued Blade’s mind was still Raiden, and the unsureness that came at their upcoming meeting and fight. He knew he needed to fight her, yet he was unsure. His defeat at her hands continued plaguing his mind no matter how long it had been, it had truly scarred him.

  ?In the time he had spent with Severance and Aisha, he had realized his own weakness, his dependency, and the human liabilities that became especially apparent while staying here. The new bonds he now had, they were a reason to continue and something that grounded him. Yet at the same time, the prospect of losing any of these connections was probably what haunted him the most. He was no longer fighting only for himself, but for people who cared for him, and that caused him dread he had never felt before.

  ?As Blade and Aisha were camping, Blade found himself lost in thought again, not even listening as she called his name. They had built a small campfire, staving off the cold from the night. The place they found themselves in was a place which seemed to snow eternally, the dazzling flakes illuminating from the light of the moon.

  ?Blade had given Aisha a blanket to make sure she stayed warm, his own clothes keeping him warm. It seemed like they offered far more than simple protection against attack, even giving him some basic cold and heat resistance. Yet as always, Blade's mind was only focused on Raiden. On how to approach the fight, on how to win the fight, on how to best avoid potential damages, plans to counter any meddling, and—

  ?Blade fell back. It took him a few seconds before he registered what happened. Getting back up to see what happened, he fell back again. Only this time he realized what was happening, as the snow on his face finally registered in his mind. A snowball had hit him. Thrown by Aisha.

  ?Blade’s mind reeled, trying to understand the situation, and while that happened, another two snowballs hit him before he finally asked the question.

  ?“What are you doing?”

  ?“Oh, so you’re awake?”

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  ?She responded as she threw another snowball at him, which Blade finally dodged.

  ?“Can you explain why you thought I wouldn’t be awake? Or the reason you’re throwing snowballs at me? You will get cold at this rate.”

  ?“And? Would you notice if I did?”

  The question caused him to pause momentarily, his mind struggling to catch up or onto what she was suggesting.

  ?“Of course I would—”

  ?At his words, another snowball hit his face. He wasn’t really getting mad, more like confused. Had he done something wrong?

  ?“Why are you doing this?”

  ?“Is that really what you are thinking?”

  ?Blade noticed it now, her face had gotten red. She was sick. But the most profound detail he now saw was that she was crying. As her tears hit the ground, Blade felt as lost as the drops that spread on the snow, yet that only earned him another snowball to the face. This time though, he didn’t try getting up. He was an utter failure, yet the words that left Aisha next were what truly made him feel lost.

  ?“I’m sorry.”

  ?It made him finally get up. Why was she apologizing? Was it not he that had been in the wrong?

  ?“Please, just tell me what’s going on. I don’t know anymore… no, I have never known. I don’t know how to be a brother, I only tried doing what I always saw others do…”

  ?That’s when it hit him. Her words, her actions, her questions. “Would you notice?”. Now he understood. Neither of them had ever grown to truly feel the love of a family, that was part of what made them connect so profoundly. Blade had seen Aisha as one of the chains that grounded him, yet never considered what he meant to her.

  ?He was her brother, but never had he stopped to consider what that meant. If she was his reason, why would it not work the other way too? And it hit him again. Had he really considered her feelings? She had offered him her presence to confide in, yet he had shut himself off in his own thoughts.

  ?Just like he had his own breaking point, when he felt like he had lost everyone, maybe this was hers.

  ?Blade laid back down in the snow, looking up at the moon as the snowflakes fell around him. It was soothing, in its own way, the fire of the campfire creating a charming contrast. This freedom was a blessing as well as a curse. Now that Blade had freedom, he needed to learn to use it. And a part of the freedom involved learning to find himself. A true self, which he could share with others. And so he voiced his thoughts.

  ?“Aisha… you shouldn’t apologize, I was wrong. As the fight comes closer, I find myself in fear. I’m scared… scared of not being strong enough… of not having the strength to protect anyone… I'm scared of losing all of you…”

  ?Aisha listened intently to his words, absorbing them, one at a time. When he finished, Aisha stepped towards him. At first her steps were heavy, unsure, even wobbly. But as she got closer, her steps became more determined, until she found herself beside Blade. When there, she looked at him. Truly looked at him, as if considering her options, before settling down on him. Making the blanket she had been hanging from her shoulders cover them both as she curled closer to him.

  ?No sound escaped her other than the small unevenness of her breathing and the soft crunch of the snow. They laid there in the quiet of the night, until Aisha voiced her concerns.

  ?“I noticed right before we left the village… your soul was in disharmony… I wanted to help, to try to calm your soul… yet when I clutched your hand, I felt like I was being flooded by negativity. And though I temporarily managed to calm it, I still felt the many lingerings.”

  ?She began, her voice earnest and low, barely a whisper. As if she was letting out a guarded secret, unsure on how much more she should divulge, yet she continued.

  ?“I thought that maybe, if I gave you space, you would talk to me… that you would tell me what was going on, yet it never happened… it rose, became more… Suddenly I felt like we were drifting apart, like you were leaving me… I got scared, and then I began losing control. I suddenly started hearing your soul, feeling the negativity forced into my head. I didn’t know what to do, who to talk to… I never wanted to inconvenience you… but as the days grew, so did my fears.”

  ?She had been utterly lost in a spiral with no end. The negativity had taken a toll on her, and she no longer knew what to do. Aisha felt like if she voiced her fears, Blade would leave further from her, but keeping it all trapped to herself made it feel like she was breaking apart. Her authorities were going out of control, and if it continued, her body might truly have broken apart.

  ?They were truly fit for each other. Neither of them were experienced in having a family, and for both, this was just as much their ideal as well as a test. Both of them would do a lot for each other, but it was about conveying these feelings that neither of them had truly trained for. That’s why a new promise would be made between them.

  ?Neither of them were perfect, neither of them experienced love or family, so the promise would be simple. promise to talk to each other, to experience this together. Both of them loved this small family of theirs, so the promise was simply about conveying this love in a way that wouldn’t destroy either of them.

  ?And so they rested, lying in the snow close to each other. Both in a place that suited them the most, and both undoubtedly happy about the situation they found themselves in, despite their multiple flaws.