A Child’s Sin

  ?End her suffering, end her life. Just end it all. It was all she was wishing from the bottom of her heart. She no longer held the strength or will to continue. So, seeing Blade run towards her with his weapons floating in the air, it wasn’t soothing. She wasn’t deserving of something like that, being calm was a privilege she had wasted. If only she could keep herself together. Keep herself from failing, from being childish, from ruining everything. That was why she was alone, that was why Blade was coming to kill her. It was the reason nothing would go her way.

  ?Blade shoots down many of the remaining familiars. Aisha no longer had the mora to make them regenerate or create more. Seeing him kill them only furthered her thoughts. He wanted to make sure she died alone. Fitting, really. For someone as irredeemable as herself.

  ?Yet a singular question remained in her mind, beyond her own sobs and cries. Why had he not killed her? Did he want to do it himself, to end her with his own blade? Did he detest her this much?

  ?Despite the tears running from her eyes and the despair welling inside her, she smiled, knowing Blade would be rid of such a burden as herself. Even through it all, she still couldn’t hate him.

  ?“How… pathetic… even now I can’t be strong…”

  ?A smaller smile fell on her face, one portraying the sadness she felt within.

  ?The time felt like it was slowly ticking away, each step he took felt like a minute was passing. Another agonizingly long second after another. Was this how it felt to be mocked? To have your suffering prolonged both physically and mentally? It gave her a new perspective of how her victims had had it, yet she felt no remorse. She had never learned how to, always looking at them as a waste of life.

  ?Even now she doesn't feel remorse. Not truly. Rather, it felt like she was piling on pathetic traits, one after another.

  ?Reaching up, she grasped for something, but did not know what. Was it for him? For her own sanity? For love?... It was all so confusing, these feelings. Oh well, he was here now. Her end, a finality.

  ?So why did he not attack? Why did the end not come? Was this his form of torment? Holding the thing she wished for just out of reach? Yet he kneeled down.

  ?Why was he kneeling? He hadn’t done anything wrong. Only the failures kneel, the wrong submit to the ones on the right. The ones kneeling are the wrong, the imperfect, the weak failures. So why was he kneeling!?

  ?Cracks. That was all she felt. These were no longer emotions, no longer qualified to be called . These… cracks were the worst. Everything bad, yet she couldn’t escape it… and wasn’t sure if she wanted to. Because these cracks formed in a hug. An embrace from the one and only person she longed for, and she couldn’t understand it. Why someone as undeserving was being embraced so lovingly. Where was the pity? Hate? The bloodlust?

  ?These feelings shouldn’t exist, she wanted them to cease. Yet they didn’t. Stop accepting her, stop embracing her failures. She should die, she wanted to die. This was her wish, stop meddling with it!

  ?“I’m sorry Aisha…”

  ?An apology? For what? She was the one who had thrown a pathetic tantrum for being left alone, she should be apologizing. Don’t say sorry, she didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve this.

  ?“I failed you, and put you in danger…”

  ?Stop it. She had put herself in danger. If she had done better, it wouldn’t have happened. If she had been stronger, if she had been better, she could have handled it all, no longer being a burden.

  ?“No matter how much I promise you to be better, I continue failing…”

  ?Blade never failed. He didn’t. She never truly believed he did. She just wanted to be mad, . She was inwardly begging, pleading. Wishing. She didn’t care who or what, she just wanted him to stop.

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  ?“Yet no matter how bad of a brother I am, I will continue trying…”

  ?You shouldn’t. Stop trying. Stop caring about her. About this whole sham of a family, this was nothing. She meant nothing. Stop making her believe she matters, stop giving her hope for a future she never wanted.

  ?“Because it’s my duty as a big brother, to protect my little sister…”

  ?Kill her, kill her, just kill her! Make it stop. Stop spouting this family, stop talking about the duties of a big brother. Because you would abandon her, you abandon her. Please… just abandon her, let her die…

  ?Why did you have to object? Why did you have to keep pushing her, until she couldn’t even leave this cursed, warm embrace? Why… was she on the ground?

  ?It took a second, maybe more. A blink or two, before she realized she was on the ground. A glint of silver caught her eye beside her, and as she looked over, she saw parts of a familiar, yet stained with red? Why was there red on it? For what reason was she on the ground? And… Blade? Why?

  ?Scrambling up on her feet, the world turned to a blur as she ran to Blade’s side. Blood. A lot of blood. Far too much blood was running from his body. She didn’t understand it. Struggling a bit, she turned his body and saw it. A giant cut formed across his torso. The blood was unlike any other. Not because he was human, or part weapon, or any other logical reason. It was the sheer fact that it came from Blade, that made it so much worse for her.

  ?Then she looked up, and saw a creature staring down at her, if it could even be called that.

  ?“Was this… me?”

  ?A hulking chimera, an abomination made of mutated familiars and souls stood there, hands stained with blood from having slashed open Blade’s torso. Yet she did not understand why it had attacked Blade, or at least not until the dots started connecting.

  ?She had been on the ground, as if pushed. Her wish to die must have combined with her spiraling state of mind, causing her Authority to create this.

  ?It was her. Aisha had done this to Blade. It was all her fault. Pressing down on the wound, grasping at anything to stop the bleeding, she asked.

  ?“Why did you?... Why did you step in? Why not let me die? Why? Why?! Why!?”

  ?At first, nothing, then a rustle. A small flicker in his eyes as he raised his hand, giving a light caress to her cheek as the hand landed on her head. Careful, too gentle, his parting words were simple.

  ?“Because I promised… I will protect you.”

  ?Ending it with a soft smile. The type of smile she only ever had imagined in her dreams of a happy family, so why now, in such a situation?

  ?“Please… I’ll be good… I’ll stop… just don’t leave me… please don’t leave me…”

  ?Her voice broke, her hand scrambling at the wound, unsure of how to close it quick enough. She looked around, looking for anything that could help, before running over to the nearest house, ignoring every stare, every murmur, every imbecile that stood in her way. Aisha had never truly cared about anything or anyone before Blade, and the thought of losing him, of losing the only one she could say she lived and who truly loved her back, it broke at her, more than anything else.

  ?Grabbing whatever resources she believed could be useful. Creating a bird familiar with whatever mora she could pull from her body, she stumbled as the effect of overuse began falling on her. Yet she ignored it entirely, pushing on as she reached Blade.

  ?Using what she brought, she tried her best wiping off the blood and cleaning the wound. It hadn’t gotten too far, not damaging any internal organs. It was mostly the blood loss which was worrying to her.

  ?Taking the bandages she brought, she tried tying them around Blade, but found it hard to do while he was lying. Creating a larger familiar so she could keep him up, she coughed as she fell on a knee. Keeping her eyes open was a struggle enough, but she was even coughing up blood due to barely having more mora to give.

  ?Wrapping the bandages around his body, she wrapped them as tightly as she could, even if it wasn’t so. Her arms felt too weak and she couldn’t get the strength to properly tighten it.

  ?“Please… don’t die,” she said, having brought any and all healing items she could find. Opening Blade’s mouth, she tried pouring it into him, but quickly realized it wouldn’t work. Trying to come up with a way to make him drink, she looked around before pouring them into the bandages wrapped around Blade. Using her Authority of alchemy to combine the two to the best of her abilities.

  ?Her breathing became more labored and she could feel the blood, taste it in her mouth. It felt as if all her insides were burning. As if tiny spikes were plastered between every muscle cell, making each movement both painful and slow.

  ?“You have to live… please…”

  ?Feeling her legs give out, she crawled on top of Blade, letting her tears flow free, no longer having the strength to prolong or stop them. If anyone was listening, anyone or anything. God, devil, spirit, she didn’t care. Just please keep him alive. Let him live. She would offer anything and everything. Whatever necessary, just let Blade live.

  ?Her desire, her last straw, the only thing she could keep clinging to. Her mind finally mirrored her limbs, giving out, yet her body continued on, unconsciously continuing to knit his body together with alchemy, even if every part of her felt like it was dying painfully.

  ?“Please… live…”