Mia was running, breathing hard. A large snarling wolf chased her through a dark alley. People watched from cracked windows, but when she screamed for help, no sound came out. She ran to the end of the alley. There was a gate there, a place to hide where the wolf couldn’t fit.

  Head down, she sped up.

  Mia lunged through the gate, and the alley melted away. She looked around, confused. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t figure out what. Looking behind her, she saw the wolf prowling at the gate. Its white teeth gleamed, saliva dripping from its mouth.

  Run.

  Mia turned and ran into the forest. She had to get away. She had to run.

  From what?

  She tripped. She turned to see what she’d tripped on… a withered face with the mouth open in a scream.

  Mia jolted awake.

  Breathing unevenly, heart pounding, she clutched the bedroll. The sky was still dark, and all the other members of the Ravagers were in their tent. She scrubbed a hand down her face, closing her eyes. Two faces swam in her memory: the pale face of the Imbued woman, ethereal, untouched by death. And the withered old man put his hands around Nessa’s throat.

  Across from Mia, hidden in shadow, Nessa slept, her breathing even. Senric had given her something to aid sleep. A swirling green potion she’d gulped down.

  Mia touched her face.

  She touched her eye.

  Nessa wasn’t in Shadow.

  There was a dark curtain over her eye.

  She took a deep breath, trapping air in her chest and keeping it there until it hurt.

  Mia knew it would happen. She’d prepared herself. This was better than when she lost her hearing. This was manageable.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Both her eyes were open. Maybe. Her right hand lifted to her left eye. She tracked her fingers. They disappeared as they got closer to her face. By the time her fingers made contact, she could only see the tip of her thumb, the flesh torn and ragged from where she’d picked at it.

  Mia mapped her eye, relieved that the eyeball was still in its socket. She opened and closed her eyelid, letting out a shuddering breath when it responded.

  Only her eyesight was gone.

  A wet laugh bubbled up, a sharp sound piercing the night before she covered her mouth.

  There was a rustle.

  Molly exited her tent and sat by the fire.

  “What have you lost?” she asked.

  Mia considered lying, but there was no point. “My eyesight.”

  Molly nodded. She held out her hand, and a ledger appeared in her palm. “I have a Collection Ledger.”

  That was a new one to add to Mia’s list.

  The fire crackled, the silence stretching as Molly watched the flames.

  Other than greetings, they’d never talked before.

  “What do you collect?” Realizing that might be rude, she hurried to add, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

  Molly laughed. “You’re told not to talk about it, but it’s damn hard to hide.” Her hand stroked down the front of the ledger.

  For a second, Mia wondered if she wanted to know. Molly was a scavenger. The items she needed to collect were found on the battlefield. But it was too late, the other woman was talking.

  “Hands and feet,” Molly said. She laughed. “It makes you exhausted. They never tell you how tiring it is to use a ledger.”

  “Tiring?” Mia asked. She’d used the ledger Mox gave her without issue.

  “Yeah, it feels like something is sucked out of you when you pay the debt.” She bit her lip, clearly struggling. “For me, severing the hands and feet of thirty people. Every time I chopped one off, it felt like I was dying, the air sucked out of my lungs, my belly cramping. I was always left feeling hollow and trembling.” She threw the book in the fire, but it didn’t burn. The fire bent around it. “When I started, chopping off one set would make me pass out. I worked every day of the month, so meeting the deadline wasn’t hard, but by the time I woke up, my loot was always gone.”

  Mia winced. She opened her mouth, but decided to ask a different question. She’d feel it for herself. “Do you still…owe?”

  Molly shook her head. “I paid off my debt, but…” She held out her hand, and the ledger reappeared in her palm. “I still want to use my ledger, so I keep collecting. You have to pay at least eighty percent of your debt before the end of the month to avoid ill effects.”

  Eight percent of fifty was forty, but it felt risky to leave it until the end of the month to kill ten people.

  She retched, turning to the side as bile dribbled out of her mouth.

  Mia was doing the math. Calmly counting how many people she’d need to kill, how many lives she’d have to end.

  And what would happen if she left it until the last moment and ended up on a battlefield with the Nazirians, where everyone was already dead?

  The withered face flashed in her mind.

  No.

  “What does your ledger do?” she asked.

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  Molly smiled, opening the book. She rested her hand on the page, then food appeared. It was a fish, large with gleaming silver scales. “I can exchange for food.” She lifted the fish, quickly scaled and prepared it, then set it over the fire to roast. “I have a restaurant in Ashfall. It’s really cost-effective to get my ingredients this way.”

  “Wouldn’t people want to…” Mia’s words trailed off.

  “Monopolize it?” Molly asked.

  Mia nodded.

  “The selection isn’t great: rabbit, beef, pork, and a few types of fish. It’s easier and cheaper just to buy from me. In Ashfall, my ledger doesn’t matter, but in smaller groups, my situation wouldn’t be good.” Molly turned the fish.

  Mia heard the warning in her words. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about escaping, but her treatment in the Second Division wasn’t so terrible that she’d risk it for an uncertain future. “Why are you saying this to me?” Mia asked, kicking a twig. Her foot missed, scuffing dirt.

  Molly took the fish, split it in two, and gave half to Mia. “I almost didn’t, but then I remembered what it was like for me… what it cost me to get that information.” The smile on her face was wretched. “I wish one person had the decency to help without expecting something in return. Then I grew up and became just like them. When I saw you by the river yesterday…” She shrugged.

  Mia guessed that Molly wasn’t always living in Ashfall; maybe she’d been in a smaller group. She ate her fish, tears streaming down her face, but she didn’t ask. The conversation had ended, and after the food was finished, Molly went back to her tent.

  ***

  Mia reached out, but her hand hit the ground instead of grasping the bedroll. One eye. One hand. She was hobbled. If she didn’t turn her face and body to what she was trying to touch, it was hard to figure out where it was.

  Nessa watched.

  She’d take a step towards Mia before stopping.

  Her face was expressive, but she didn’t speak. Mouth opening and closing ever so often.

  Mia didn’t have the energy to comfort her. She didn’t have the words to bridge the gap between them.

  ***

  The forest was dark, the air thick with the smell of wet earth and blood. Mia’s hand shook as she held the saber.

  In the silence, her breath was loud, coming in sharp gasps.

  She was scared.

  The limited light made it even harder for her to see.

  She’d stumbled and tripped her way through, getting cuts and scraps on her arms, legs, and face.

  Her left arm got the worst of it. She tried to move it, turning to look at it. But it hung there limp, like it wasn’t even hers anymore. When she fell, it moved first, always connecting with the ground.

  The rest of her body ached, but those two injuries, eye and hand, made her feel uneven and broken.

  Four more lives or she’d lose something else tomorrow.

  Mia moved slowly, aware of her hour running out, a limp making it hard.

  This was her first time scavenging in a forest. In the wide, open fields, the bodies were laid out or piled up, but the Perts had hidden in the trees, using them as cover. Their corpses were spread out across the mountain.

  Mia spotted another one. Her speed picked up, but she had to slow down when her toe caught on an exposed root. If she hadn’t used her hand to steady herself, she’d have fallen again.

  Mia approached with caution.

  It was quiet, no ragged breaths or groans. He was already dead.

  Relief warred with dissatisfaction.

  Another one. Another body. The life already drained out of them.

  Useless to her.

  She made quick work of stripping his valuables.

  Mia couldn’t bear it, waking up to another part of her that wasn’t functioning. A doll that the world had played too hard with and broken.

  Dan wasn’t with her. He’d set up the table, laying the ledger on top, and waiting by its side. Do what you need to or don’t come back. He hadn’t said anything, but that’s what she’d heard from the heavy silence and calm gaze.

  “Shit.” It was a whisper.

  Mia slowly turned. She closed her eyes and listened. She heard it, a rustling, quite groaning. Walking.

  She moved towards the sound even as her mind screamed to turn and run.

  The man was in terrible shape. His leg was shattered, blood pooling beneath him. But he wasn’t dead yet. He was limping, dragging his broken leg behind him. He twitched when he saw her, reaching for a knife at his belt.

  Mia’s fingers tightened around the saber. It was slippery with sweat. Blood rushed to her ears, making it hard to hear.

  The world narrowed.

  There were only the two of them in the forest.

  Mia wanted to run, to pretend this wasn’t happening, but she forced her body to listen. She was trapped here, with him, with this choice.

  She thought of the ship. The churning sea. The tiny desert where tendrils of black lurked, waiting for the wounded. She thought of Nessa. She thought of her mother.

  I want to live.

  “I want to live.” It was the first time she’d said it out loud instead of hiding it inside herself like a dirty secret.

  She wanted to live, and for that, he had to die.

  The Pert’s lips moved, forming words she couldn’t hear. Maybe he was begging. Maybe he was cursing. Maybe he was reasoning with her. It didn’t matter.

  Her grip loosened. It was her or him. She didn’t want to, but she would.

  Mia approached him, movements careful.

  He leaned his body against a tree, pointing the knife at her.

  He was a corpse standing, the fight draining out of him in front of her. His ‘good’ leg gave out, and he slumped down. His eyes widened as she loomed over him. “Please.”

  She heard that. She understood it. The word tore a long, deep, ragged wound into her mind. She didn't even lie to herself, calling it mercy.

  “I’m sorry.” It was quick. One motion, one sound…a wet final breath… a line of red across his throat.

  The book was there… in her left hand.

  She screamed, throwing it into the darkness.

  The saber gripped in the right, her left digging into the blood-dampened ground. The cost and gain were written into her body. It was the way her heart pounded, the way her eyes watered, the way her arm listened after days of silence.

  She dropped the saber, kneeled, and opened and closed her fingers.

  The ledger appeared. Returning to her hand as if it had never left. Book in her right hand, she used the left to open it. Still only one page

  Two.

  Initializing.

  She put away the ledger and tried to stand, but her legs were weak and gave out as she put weight on them. That must be it. The feeling Molly mentioned. It wasn’t to the point of passing out, but she felt like she’d been awake for days without eating.

  She sat in silence beside a corpse, looking at the line. The blood had bubbled out instead of splurting like with the rabbit.

  She grasped the saber. Blood-boiling poison.

  “Haha.” She crawled to the corpse, searching it. Gold teeth, a black feather, a hidden money pouch, the knife, and something bound in leather hidden in his shoe.

  She’d seen that before.

  It was in her storage space.

  She turned it this way and that, but decided not to open it. It and the money went into her storage space while the rest went into her bag.

  By the time she was finished, the trembling had stopped.

  Mia didn’t know if she could stand. She didn’t know if she wanted to. But she had to.

  With a groan, she pushed herself up, using the tree for support.

  She was alive.

  But she would never be the same.

  The forest swallowed her as she limped away, leaving the man…and a piece of herself behind.