I woke to stiffness, confusion, and someone had tucked me in.

  Wait – when did I get a blanket?

  Shaking my head, I stretched, my back popping as I did so. My legs were stiff as well so I needed to stretch basically everything. When I finally felt somewhat human… Was I still human?

  Ugh, more questions.

  I looked for my phone. I searched the cushions, the floor, even the kitchen. Nothing. My phone had vanished. Where was it? I needed to tell Michael about this, then Antun and Syla. No way was I hero-ing this thing by myself! She said to use resources, so I would.

  After I’ve found my phone.

  I searched my coat pockets and clothes again – nothing. Finally I dumped out my bag in frustration. There was all kinds of stuff in there beyond my wallet: my pepper spray, of course, then gum and tissues, some feminine products and medicines. But no phone.

  I heard a sound at the door and my head shot up. Michael came in, seeing everything spread out. I shoved it all in my bag without organizing, trying not to blush at the scattered tampons. Right now I had to tell him about my dream.

  “Michael! Come in, sit down,” I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to the couch, the cushions having been returned before I started feeling frantic about my phone. “I just had this crazy dream. Did I tell you about that dream with the pretty lady? Anyway, she said her name was Selene and that I have to stop Nikola and I need to use my resour–”

  “Slow down, Drew! What pretty lady dream? What are you going on about?”

  “Selene’s was the voice in my dreams! I kept having these dreams over and over where her voice would ask if I wanted to live, I’d say yes, then she’d say hold on? Anyway, she took me to this beautiful dream place and told me that I have to stop Nikola using yew somehow. I’m not a heroine, what even is my life?!” I was feeling rather hysterical, starting to hyperventilate from how quickly I was talking.

  “Drew, Drew! You need to breathe, slow down. Want to breathe with me?”

  “What am I, a child?” I yelled, indignant.

  “No, you’re freaked out, and you need to calm down. I’m going to count, it's up to you if you want to breathe along to it or not. One, two, three…” He continued on to ten, then a five-count to hold, then backwards from ten to one. Then he repeated.

  Despite my outburst, I did need to calm down and a more rational part of me knew that. I focused on Michael’s voice as he counted, breathing slowly. I became dizzy as I started coming down from being so elevated. My face tingled with sensation as I replenished my air.

  “Are you feeling better?” he asked about a minute later.

  I muttered, “Debatable.”

  My sarcastic tone made him smile. “Now, I’m going to sum up what I understood. Correct me at the end if needed.” He cleared his throat. “So, you’ve been hearing a voice in your dreams – like I did with Nikola – but you don’t know who she is. Then last night you met her, Selene. She said you need to stop Nikola. Then something about yew trees?”

  “The only clue she said she was able to give was that it has something to do with yew; y-e-w yew, not y-o-u you. But otherwise, yeah you caught all of it.”

  I was impressed, I didn’t know how coherent I had been earlier.

  “Have you looped Antun and Syla in on this?”

  “No, I can’t find my phone! That’s what all that mess was about when you came in.”

  He opened his mouth in a silent ah of understanding. “Want me to call it?”

  “Good idea, thanks.”

  He called it but there was silence in the apartment. “It went to voicemail. Do you think you left it at the office?”

  “No, but I can’t think of where else it could possibly be. Maybe I had it on silent? Could you help me look?” He nodded and we began searching the apartment, less frantically than I had been before.

  About three minutes later, “Hey Drew,” Michael called from the kitchen, “I’m trying to think of something funny or clever to say but I’ve got nothing. Why would your phone be in the refrigerator?”

  “What?” I came into the kitchen and, sure enough, next to all the Thanksgiving leftovers, was my very cold phone. It had turned off from the cold, so it made sense that we couldn’t hear it. It was weird but I was more concerned with talking to the others than I was about my cold phone. “Thanks for finding it. But we need to get in touch with them sooner rather than later.” He agreed and we texted on his phone instead.

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  Michael: Hey, it’s Michael and Drew. She has something to share with the class.

  Antun: Ooh, tea?

  Michael: What?

  Antun: smh nvm

  Michael: Good time to meet up?

  Antun: Early-early morning is basically the only time I have completely to myself, so yes!

  Michael: Might be hard to Uber at this time of night

  Antun: We’ll come to you. See you soon.

  ? ?? ?

  Neither Antun nor Syla had any ideas or helpful questions to raise after I had related the dream to them as well. We eventually had to break to get ready for work and we saw Antun and Syla off.

  Now at the office, I tried not to let my wandering mind affect my work. I was already three coffees in for the day when Trevor made an appearance at the desk.

  “Michael, Drew, good to see things going well over here. Drew, can I talk to you in my office for a minute?” I looked at Michael as if he’d know why but he just shrugged with one shoulder. I followed after Trevor, closing the door behind me, my hands a tad shaky from all the caffeine.

  “What’s up?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

  Trevor sat at his desk. “Please, sit down first at least.”

  Warily, I sat down, unsure of where this conversation was going to go.

  “Our floor currently has two very competent QCEs, and while I want to keep both of you exactly where you are, upper management has other ideas. They want to transfer you to another level to do the same thing on their floor. It worked well here on our floor and they want to know if they can improve all the writing floors this way.”

  All meaning two. But still, I would be moving. I’d leave the desk. I wouldn’t work across from Michael anymore, wouldn’t have him randomly sticking his head around his computer just to make funny faces at me to try to get me to crack. My heart clenched, tight and sharp.

  But I smiled like a good employee. “I am honored for the opportunity to help our sister floor. Thank you.”

  He nodded, apparently fine with leaving the conversation at that. He didn’t bother dismissing me as I stood up and left his office.

  “What did Trevor need?” Michael asked as I got back to the desk.

  It was like a knife in my heart as I said, “He is satisfied with your training, so I will be moving to a different floor, to do the same thing.”

  His brows shot to his hairline in surprise. “You’re leaving?”

  I nodded, not having anything else to add. I didn’t have belongings on my desk, so I merely needed to go to a different floor at the start of the day tomorrow. The remainder of the day passed in relative silence, both of us doing our work. Michael didn’t ask questions anymore, he knew enough to get by and was good at the work.

  I tried not to let that sting. It shouldn't sting, I did my job well, but I didn’t want to work alone anymore. I had come to enjoy having a desk partner. Michael would grab me coffee anytime he went for his own refill, I had someone else to commiserate with when we received poorly formatted docs…

  I realized that I had been lonely at work before training Michael. He had ruined my solitude, and instead of hating him for breaking the silence, my heart ached because I knew I would be going back to that. Unless I changed something. But change has always been a frightening thing. All these thoughts swirled through my head as I tried to focus on work, only partially successful.

  At lunch, we walked together to the restaurants downstairs and nearby for lunch. Across the street, a burger place. Maybe I could stomach fries, but I didn't have much of an appetite. I got my fries and soda, sitting down at one of the tables. Michael came over with his order, a large burger meal. I munched on my fries, sipping on my drink from time to time.

  “Hello, Earth to Drew?” Michael was waving his hand as if to get my attention.

  I blinked as I came back to the present. “Sorry, what?”

  “I was saying maybe we can try to research this Selene person? Or maybe the place you were together talking? Thoughts?”

  I sat there, my brain still a bit scattered, as I tried to think. “I’m pretty sure the place was only kinda real. Ugh, I wish I had a better way to explain…” I searched my memories of the balcony-like terrace. “It was pretty enough to be unreal, but the smells and sounds and sensations on my skin… that all felt pretty real at the time.

  “And Selene, she seemed… content because she had to be, if that makes any sense. Like, I got the sense that she wanted to go elsewhere but couldn’t, so she just decided to live her lot the best she could.”

  We sat there, him eating his burger and me occasionally sipping my soda, my appetite still practically nonexistent. I kept thinking of Selene. She was captivating; something about her drew me in, wanting to know more about her. But I had only seen her twice, when I had been lucky enough to visit her in my dreams. How would I contact her again? Just hope for it to happen?

  Back at the desk after lunch, I still struggled to focus on my work. If ever there was a day when audio for the procedures and reports and contracts was needed, it was today. I slogged through though, feeling like I was barely making a dent in my daily work load. Finally, the never-ending workday had finished and I could go home and try to figure more of this stuff out.

  ? ?? ?

  The next day, I went to a different floor when getting off the elevator. It felt strange, not getting off the elevator with Michael. I didn’t know anyone on this floor.

  A woman around the same age as my mother came up to me. “Hi, Drew. I’m Mora, the manager for this floor. We have your space right over here.” She walked me to a plain desk with a desktop computer already set up. I nodded my thanks as she left me to get started with my day.

  It was strange having a desk to myself again. I kept looking up and around my computer screen, expecting to see him across from me, but there was nothing there. I shook my head, trying to clear it and focus.

  Just me and a blinking cursor. No Michael making faces. No second coffee that wasn’t mine. Just a new floor, a new desk, and the hum of unfamiliar heartbeats.

  Focus Drew. Don’t fall apart – not here.

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