I was with Aisha finishing cleaning the bar. I woke up just an hour ago, so Aisha did most of the work, taking advantage of the fact that it was Saturday. I used the time she gave me to see what we needed for the house.

  “Hmm… We need bread and some other things.”

  “Do you want me to go buy it?”

  “I will go with you. I also need to get alcohol.”

  “Let me put on my shoes…”

  Aisha and I went to our respective rooms. While she was looking for her shoes, I was changing to something that wasn’t my usual bartender outfit. It’s not rare for me to sleep with it, so I needed to clean it regularly. That’s why I have three similar uniforms in my closet.

  “This will work.”

  Today was a cold day, so I put on jeans and a light brown jacket with a white T-shirt below. It wasn’t uncomfortable, so it worked.

  "I'll be right back.”

  I was talking to an old picture I had on my desk. It was very blurry, simply because Aisha took it when she was four years old. I could only recognize who was in it because I remember that day perfectly.

  “Aisha, are you ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  When I left my room, I saw Aisha with a dark coat, like the one you would see in some actor interpreting a cool character. When I saw her pants, I immediately recognized the overalls I gifted her one day.

  “I didn’t know you had that.”

  “Lusia gifted it to me the other day.”

  “I like it. How much did she spend?”

  “According to a message she sended to me, she spended ‘Iwonttellyoubecauseyouoryourfatherwilltrytogivemebackthemoney dollars.’”

  “She really knows us.”

  The moment I met Lusia I noticed how kind she was. Just the fact that she was trying to be Aisha’s friend was something good. But she confirmed her kindness once she talked with me. I was very happy that my daughter could make a friend like her.

  “Let’s go.”

  Aisha and I left the bar after that. I always flip the open signal before going to sleep, so we didn’t have to do it again when leaving.

  “Something else we need besides bread?”

  “Milk, maybe cheese, butter, and some things for breakfast...”

  “Thanks again for always making breakfast for us.”

  Every time I wake up, I find a plate with a perfect breakfast and a note. Aisha never forgets to do it. I'd like to correct my bad sleeping habits just to save her from doing it every day. But my job doesn't help at all.

  “We’re gonna go there?”

  “Yes. Do you need something?”

  “I’d like to get a mini notebook…”

  “I can buy one for you.”

  “I can pay for it. I work for something.”

  “I can say the same.”

  Getting gifts for Aisha was difficult. She never had particular likes, so I never know what would make her happy besides money and clothes. Luckily, she had started to develop likes, so I took notes for her next birthday.

  “Do you need something else besides that?”

  “I already have pencils, paint, and brushes.”

  “You have an art kit in your room.”

  “I wouldn’t consider it like that…”

  Having a conversation with Aisha is always something I appreciate. I know so many kinds of people due to my work, but she is the only one that I’d like to know more deeply. I guess any other father would have those thoughts too.

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  “...”

  “Aisha?”

  “Sorry…”

  “Hmm?”

  I looked where she was looking, and I saw a cosmetic store. Now that I think about it, she has started to care about her own appearance more and more. I still remember how shocked I was when I saw her leaving the bathroom with piercings…

  “We can stop here.”

  “It’s okay to go back home late?”

  “It’s not like I open the bar when the sun is still visible. Also, if you need to do something, you should do it now.”

  “... Thanks.”

  With that said, we went into the store. Although I know a little about cosmetics from helping her mother choose clothes, makeup, and piercings, I don't know enough to be helpful in a place like this. I don't even know what girls wear these days…

  “... Green…”

  “Do you like that color?”

  “I don’t know how this one smells. I must learn…”

  “I see.”

  She knows her criteria, so I can only watch. It was very impressive that she could get an interest like this. At first I wondered what made it possible. I don’t know the whole story, only that she made it with Lusia.

  “(What could be…?)”

  What intrigues me most is how quickly they connected. I feel like a bad father realizing I can't even understand my own daughter. The only explanation I can see with my limited knowledge, is that perhaps Aisha simply felt a natural connection with her. In a romantic context, it could be considered love at first sight.

  “(I’d like to approach more to her… But how…?)”

  Anyone could say I could try the same things Lusia did to get closer to Aisha, but the relationship with a friend and with a parent are completely different. Generally, what others use to get closer to someone wouldn't work if the person trying it isn't the same. If the same things worked for everyone, Aisha would’ve had friends for a long time.

  “(I guess it will never be something easy.)”

  “I have everything I need…”

  “Great. Now let’s-”

  I stopped for a second when I saw her bag. She had a comb, a headband, some makeup, and of course, nail polish. I didn’t know she was that interested in being pretty.

  “That’s a good color for a headband.”

  “Lusia told me that red is the best color, so I tried it.”

  “I think that’s just personal preference though...”

  I helped her by carrying the bag. This wasn't much different from when I helped her mother whenever she went shopping. Except, if that were the case, the bag would definitely weigh more. A trait I'm glad she didn't inherit from her is impulsive shopping when she's stressed. Well, I've never actually seen Aisha stressed, so I don't know if she really inherited it or not….

  “... Oh, I forgot to buy something to clean everything.”

  “I think you can find something in the store.”

  “... Right.”

  No matter when I check, Aisha's things are always clean. Her nail polish bottles are always sparkling, her notebooks are always in a clean, dust-free spot. I never check her cactus because she never forgets to feed it. She would undoubtedly do a good job taking care of a pet, but I've never offered to adopt one simply because she's not very interested in animals.

  “I saw that you’re letting your hair grow. We should change your shampoo.”

  “Is that necessary…?”

  “Yes. I’m gonna get you one with the same smell, so you can stay calm in that sense.”

  “Thanks.”

  Besides all, it’s easier to think about a conversation topic precisely because now she’s interested in her appearance. In general, we talk a lot. And sometimes, I want to use those opportunities to confirm some things.

  “(I’d like to ask a lot of questions…)”

  “...”

  “(But, maybe some other time… But I could ask that one…)”

  “...”

  “Hey, Aisha.”

  “Yeah?”

  “How do you feel?”

  “... I don’t feel any disease and I have energy…”

  “No that way. I mean, emotionally.”

  “Hmm?”

  I asked that same question a lot of times, but her answer was always “I feel like always” or something like that. Doing that question is always a way to quickly depress myself… But today was different.

  “I don’t know… I guess I feel happy…”

  “Happy?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I have some new nail polish bottles and some cosmetics Lusia could use on me. Maybe in a dictionary definition, I’m happy…”

  “... Happy…”

  That response was full of her personality… But, unlike her usual way of expressing herself, this was… comforting…

  When her current personality began to develop, I felt terrible, like I could never connect with her. I wondered if I had done something wrong, if she had some kind of problem. Even after asking psychologists, I couldn't understand anything. Was it because we lived in a bar? Was it because I'm divorced? Whatever the problem was, I could only think that I had done something wrong as a parent.

  But knowing how happy she is now, things don't feel so bad. I still want to see that happiness, but I know that, somehow, behind that expressionless face, there is a smile. Being expressionless, having difficulty showing interest in things or people, treating her tastes like treasures, wanting to help those who ask, having favorite people. In the end, all of that is simply her personality. My daughter's personality.

  “... Aisha.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Wanna eat dinner before I open the bar?”

  “You have the time for that?”

  “I can cook something fast, and if there’s nothing I can make before opening, we can order something.”

  “Sure.”

  I don't know how much she'll change. I don't know how many things about her will stay the same. But I'll always love the person she becomes. After all, she's my daughter.