??"...I wonder who you actually take after."

  That was my mother's parting gift to me.

  ?She was a noble, beautiful cat. I didn't have a mirror, but carrying her blood, there was no way I was ugly. Therefore, my "Feline Life Strategy" was simple. Use these looks as a weapon, get picked up by some rich heiress, and resume my writing career (via paw-typing) while gorging on premium cat food. That was former author Mikio Umada's comeback plan.

  My only lingering regret was my sister, who had a bad leg.

  ?But reality isn't so sweet.

  Brought to a park under the guise of a "walk," our mother and the other siblings promptly vanished, leaving my sister and me behind.

  ?(Damn it, dropped from the strategy?! ...Whatever. I can manage on my own. But...)

  ?Seeing my sister shivering in the cold wind, my "calculations" faltered.

  "You should go find a good home," my sister meowed weakly. "I'll be... fine here."

  ?I felt like clicking my tongue. A strategist shouldn't be swayed by emotion. Yet, I was the kind of guy who always ended up playing the losing hand at the eleventh hour.

  ?Just then, a familiar clack, clack of footsteps approached.

  A woman in mourning clothes, her face the very picture of despair, collapsed onto a bench.

  ?(...Her. Is my funeral over already?)

  ?It was her. The soft-hearted woman who had supported me for seven years.

  My intuition flared. This was my "flash of inspiration."

  ?(Change of strategy. First, get her to pick me up. With my "beautiful" self by her side, it'll heal her loneliness, and my sister and I can escape the rain and wind. A perfect win-win relationship!)

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  ?I approached her feet with noble grace.

  I recreated that fearless smile she used to say she loved—"I love how confident you are, Mikio"—on my feline face. I tilted my head and looked up at her with moist eyes. The perfect "seduction of a beautiful cat."

  ?"...Oh."

  She cast her gaze downward. But her eyes passed right over me.

  "A cat...? All alone in a place like this?"

  ?The hand she reached out wasn't for me, but for my sister cowering behind me.

  ?(...Huh? No, wait a second. Over here. The main "beautiful cat" is right here. Do you need an eye exam?)

  ?She gently picked up my shivering sister and looked down at me, striking a pose at her feet, with eyes full of pity.

  ?"...I'm sorry. You're, um..."

  She hesitated for a moment.

  "...You look really tough. Like a stubborn thief who could survive on the streets all by himself. ...Hang in there."

  ?...A thief?

  Tough?

  ?(Are you kidding me? Can't you see the aura of a refined prince oozing out of me!?)

  ?She stood up. She was going to take only my sister and leave me behind.

  My sister looked at me sadly and meowed. I realized it then. If I didn't throw away my pride right here, I'd die in a ditch as nothing more than an "energetic thief cat."

  ?(...Aw, for crying out loud, wait!!)

  ?Throwing appearances to the wind, I clung to her shoe.

  The pride of a beautiful cat? Who cares. Right now, it's a survival strategy called "parasitism"!

  I shoved my front paws into her bag and desperately pulled out the funeral portrait of myself (my past life).

  ?"Myaaaaargh!! (If you abandon a beauty like me, my ghost will come back to haunt you, you idiot!)"

  ?A cat with a thief-stache, hugging a dead man's photo and crying desperately.

  The bizarre sight made her stop in her tracks.

  ?"...Heh. What a weird cat. You're frantic, kind of like him."

  She laughed, seemingly defeated, and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck.

  "Alright. It's a run-down apartment anyway. One cat or two won't make a difference."

  ?Hanging by my scruff, I narrowed my eyes in satisfaction.

  ?(Heh... As expected, my passion won out in the end. Once we're inside and she looks in a mirror, she'll bow down to my beauty too.)

  ?And so, Mada-O's "life of delusion" raised its curtain.

  He still had no way of knowing.

  That he had a magnificent "thief-mustache" pattern right under his nose.

  Or that the reason she called him "tough-looking" was actually because her fading eyesight made him look like nothing more than a "black blob."

  ?[Preview: Chapter 3]

  ?Madao has been dubbed "Hige" (Thief-Stache). Returning in triumph to his nostalgic, run-down apartment, he loftily leaps onto the bathroom vanity to check the mirror—only to be confronted by what's staring back at him...!?

  ?Meanwhile, Hikari’s daily life has become far more precarious than before. He watches her stumble over small steps and pour water into a cup that's already empty. Seeing her struggle, a new "Strategy" flashes through Madao’s mind!