Soon my mind rages the bile forgotten about, as the elk and bear and firebearer all panic the understanding that had been building up being forgotten but the sudden and uncontrollable shift, they all scream for my arms to return to their normal, now realizing that those instincts are at war with each other, all my parts rage as my muscles spasm and slither beneath the skin.

  A loud snap fills the forest around me bouncing off of the trees, and for a moment I am confused what caused this sound, there's nothing besides me here nearby. As I place around the clearing another thought enters my head. Why haven't I felt my arms? The uncomfortable spasms are no longer there. Looking down at my arms, my eyes wide as I let out a roar of pain, my arms barely supported as I looked at the jagged snapped bone, just barely not poking through the skin on both arms. A white hot burning flows through my entire body. As my muscles begin writhing beneath my skin. I feel my bones grinding against each other.

  I continue to roar, falling onto the ground as my bones continue to break, growing from my arms to my shoulders to my chest all the way down to my feet. Then my arms begin changing and my left hand loses all of its fur while my claws begin growing over my fingers. My right hand begins shifting into a hoof the arm restructuring much closer to that of an elk's leg. The rest of my body begins suffering much of the same fate, patches of fur fall out. The shape becomes a warped mix of bear, elk, and firebearer with no symmetry, some parts larger and bigger clearly from elk or bear, maybe even the firebearer but there is no mixing and no consistency in any part of me.

  Then I feel the writhing muscles and searing heat of the transformation begin to climb my neck. Letting out a desperate cry I force myself into my three instincts. And with their panic, stress, and anger filled panic. I grab hold of them with what little instinct I can muster to go against their raging cries, and I force them together, with little to no care for how it pains me I force them together to avoid permanently becoming a warped beast with no reason left.

  With one final desperate cry will power be strengthened by panic allowing me for once to have total control over the instincts. I force on a transformation not caused by fear or desperation or by a bargain. The instincts are still waiting for change to return the arms and now my body to their normal, not the normal that my life had been ever since I had awakened. The searing heat, and white hot pain stops just for a moment before bursting forth to encompass my entire body.

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  Once again bones snap breaking into proper shape before a straining groan fills my ears and my body as they stretch and grow. My skin aches as my fur regrows then begins growing thicker denser. As the searing pain reaches my skull. I feel my teeth fall out being pushed by new larger, sharper, stronger teeth. My senses that have been cut off by their sources growing and changing, but now they pop back scents clearer than ever, the smallest details easily visible, the stillness and panic of the forest clear to my ears.

  Then I feel my antlers grow a new velvet as the bones feel like they're melting and growing. Numerous points begin growing, growing two new eye guards as they grow to match my body's growing size. With my arms that are still sore and burning I bring my claws up to the velvet and begin ripping it off causing the skin to fall to the forest floor along with the fur and blood caused by my chaotic shifting.

  I collapse onto the ground holding myself as I shake violently, breathing in deeply trying to still tremors and regain my breath but I can't find it, as I continue to hug myself trying to listen to the instincts that I had forcefully brought under my control to seek some semblance of familiarity, as they're the only thing that have been with me since leaving my tribe. But they are silent, no not silent, faint , exhausted , worn thin by being forced into control, but they have stopped panicking. I have stopped all of my sudden panicking, maybe I don't know anything anymore.

  My vision goes blurry, my breathing becomes shallow as I think a million thoughts about how I messed up my eyes by forcing this change. Raising up my paws to them and I begin feeling small wet droplets hit my palm. I'm crying, I try to wipe the tears away as they keep coming and they don't stop. Then the sobs slip through my mouth. A small twig being removed from a dam causes a flood to occur. The sobbing begins to permeate throughout my body and my tears begin flowing more and more.

  Hunching over on myself more I keep sobbing violently and painfully. My throat hoarse from my constant roars and cries. Every sob feels like bubbling soup being forcefully poured down, but it can't stop them no matter how I try. It just keeps going, every attempt causes them to build up into a loud grief filled sob. Then a twig snapping catches my attention and allows me to hold them back for just a moment as I turn and see a man standing next there, smelling strongly of sweat, his clothes clinging to his body. He seems familiar but I can't quite place where I've seen him before with my brain trying to break its way out of my skull. Standing out of breath leaning on a tree for support. Then our eyes meet and theirs a recognition that briefly warms my heart.

  “v… Veln?”