Chapter 4

  The last few minutes of daylight were passing as we exited the tavern. Although I said daylight, the reality was that every part of this world just looked like various shades of night. At high noon, with the sun towering over the poor recreation of Marblehead, the world would still be coated in a dark gloomy filter. Essentially this world was like opening up a goth's closet and trying to choose an outfit based on the various shades of black. Even the birds flying overhead were black.

  The crows perched throughout the city, keeping a disquieting watch over the small fishing town. Glancing into the dark late afternoon sky, a seemingly impossible number of crows filled the sky. At first glance, what appeared to be dark clouds were just clusters of crows, causing the cloud-like shapes to pulsate. Especially closer to the coast, where most of the clouds had formed, the distance made the shapes seem less like groups of birds and more like meteorological formations. Kind of like that one Hitchcock movie. You know the one... About the birds and whatnot. Scary shit.

  I realized that I had never actually looked at the sign outside of the tavern we had used to pass the afternoon. After simply thinking of it as a poor remake of the Moby Dick tavern, it seemed only proper that I knew its name. Generic Tavern D. Although it might have been passed down for generations by the Generic family, most likely it was safe to assume that that god had cut corners and didn't think anyone would notice or care. While I was apparently playing a different game from everyone else while occupying that god's world, I still had a growing list of notes to critique that god's poor performance as GM... You know, aside from forcing unwilling humans into what seemed like a death game. I hadn't actually witnessed any people dying, and didn't have concrete proof that we wouldn't resurrect after dying... Even if others resurrected after dying, since I was playing a different game, would that mean?...

  Totally not changing the subject in order to curb my growing panic attack, I thought back to the remaining time in the Generic Tavern D (or as I will now call it, The Gene), Joan and I had made good use of our time. In order to test out some of Joan's abilities, we decided to give Ramen Chef the ole college try. Our motivations had nothing to do with the absolutely inedible quality of the food the tavern served, my mom never called me a picky eater and I wasn't about to pick up that title now. Anyway, we swiftly dumped the contents of our disgusting food in the nearest waste bin and went to work on ramen.

  Summoning ramen into the world was as simple as Joan extending her arm and firmly stating "Ramen". I had to assume that's how all instant ramen was created back in the real world which explained why it was so cheap and contained no real food value. Interestingly, we discovered that while her ability claims Once per day, she could actually repeatedly summon ramen. As we would find out later in the process, the Once per day was in reference to the buff the ramen created per person, so each person she prepared ramen for would get the +5 buff and although they could eat ramen nonstop, they wouldn't receive the buff again for 24 hours. We hit a wall when we realized we had no boiling water or way to obtain it. We decided to lose 24 hours of her Elevator Pitch ability by testing it out in the safe environment, successfully convincing the guy working in the kitchen (who looked suspiciously like Sean Astin's character in The Lord of the Rings, except in a fast food uniform and wearing eye liner to make him look dark and brooding) to provide us with boiling water and two bowls. I should clarify, because it is an important distinction, but the ramen summoned by Joan's ability was the stuff in plastic wrap, not the styrofoam cup. So for using the ability in the future, we would want to obtain some bowls and a method to boil water.

  The ramen Joan made was infinitely better than the slop we'd been served by the tavern, and not just because of the sweet +5 buff to our strength, dexterity, and constitution. Speaking of the buff, while it was an impressive bonus for Joan's stats, because we were playing through different game mechanics, the +5 to my stats were mind boggling. The jump from 18 dexterity to 23 was no small increase. I was beyond giddy to test out my new stats, so we exited the tavern.

  That caught us up to the point where I stared at the Generic Tavern D sign, cleverly named it The Gene, and found myself shaking with excitement to check out my mad skills.

  Standing next to the tavern, I looked down the alley between the tavern and what I wanted to assume was a Radio Shack but was most likely a general store. The alley contained trash bins, a dumpster, a chain link fence blocking off the exit on the far side, and a fire escape too high up for someone to reach. Thinking back to my days obsessing over parkour, I immediately tried to plot out a path, when...

  Congratulations!

  +h3 /\/u11 has unlocked a new ability!

  Pathfinder (Level 1)

  Passive ability

  User can visualize the fastest on-foot route from their current location to a visible point.

  Route will be highlighted with a yellow line.

  Route automatically takes user's current abilities into consideration, so any path marked will work for the user, but not necessarily for others.

  To change color of line, select visual preference options from your journal.

  Next Ability Level: Allow user to create paths to previously visited locations within 1 kilometer, even if location isn't currently visible.

  Instantly, a yellow line appeared in front of me. Starting at my feet, the line went to the trash bins, up to the dumpster, then trailed along the wall to the fence before extending from the fence to the fire escape. My heart nearly leapt from my chest at how cool it was. I rocked back slightly to prepare to follow the path when I was interrupted again...

  Congratulations!

  +h3 /\/u11 has unlocked a new ability!

  Parkour (Level 1)

  Passive ability

  Parkour!

  Next Ability Level: Parkour! Parkour!

  While a significantly less helpful description as Pathfinder, my mind raced at the thought of using these two abilities. If only I had this back at the obstacle courses in the real world, everyone would have been so jealous. 'Look at the cool parkour guy,' they would say. I would have been the most popular guy there. You know that song Mr Jones by Counting Crows? The narrator of the song talks about wanting to be beautiful and awesome and stuff so that everyone would like him and then everything would be perfect. That would have been me, I totally would have been super popular. I'm also choosing to ignore the fact that the lyrics are meant to be taken ironically because stuff like that doesn't magically make all your problems go away. It's my imagination, so I can pick and choose which parts I want, do you have a problem with it?!

  "Focus!" Who knows how long I had been standing there staring down the alley before Joan spoke up. "If you're going to test our your skills, do it quick. We still have to catch the mayor before he disappears or gets too busy. I'm not even going to ask why you're just standing there like an idiot, because frankly it's what I've come to expect out of you. But please hurry up."

  "Right..."

  I once again rocked back on my heels, this time bursting forward at nearly inhuman speed. My feet traced the yellow line as I used the trash bins as a springboard to quickly climb on top of the dumpster. At the end of the dumpster, my feet moved to the wall, performing a horizontal wall run like in the Prince of Persia games. I met the chain link fence by doing a wall jump, causing my body to easily land perched on the fire escape railing nearly 15 feet off the ground. I leapt off the railing, doing a backflip and landing on the ground below, just to show off for Joan. I grinned as I turned in her direction to find...

  Joan was turned toward the street, glancing around and clearly bored. She hadn't seen anything. I was reminded of the many times I tried to show off parkour moves to my friends and family. You know, I think maybe parkour skills would not, in fact, make everyone love me.

  But it was still fucking awesome!

  "I am the parkour god!" I raised my arms into the air, proudly announcing the birth of a new and incredibly awesome deity.

  "That's nice. Are you ready?"

  "If this was an anime, someone with your personality would eventually fall head over heels in love with me, you know." I puffed out my chest as I strutted over to her.

  "Luckily for me, this isn't an anime. So I think I'll survive."

  "Just wait until I rescue you from some evil creature using my mad parkour skills. Then you won't be able to help having your heart race for me." Although I acted confident, in reality I didn't believe a single thing I said. I knew that someone like Joan would never fall for a guy like me. And if we're honest, I didn't really want her to fall for me. Relationships require too much trust, and I just didn't have it in me to put myself out there like that. Besides, despite her constant attacks, Joan had proven to be a reliable party member. And if I wanted to be fully pessimistic, it would be way too risky to not play my relationship with Joan as safely as possible. After all, if she left me behind, I would never survive this game, or at least I had to assume based on what I'd already deduced.

  "Someday, Clay, you're going to find a woman who is head over heels for you. And you are going to make her the most miserable person on Earth."

  "That started out so sweet, why did it have to take that dark detour at the end?"

  Immediately after that, Joan apologized and admitted that I was the person she admired most in the world. Her comments had come from a place of jealousy. She had grown up dreaming to be a famous parkour person... Parkourista? I wasn't sure if there was a term for it, and the fact that I don't know might be hurting my credibility in acting like this actually happened and wasn't just a pitiful attempt to make myself feel better through delusions. I was there! I know what happened, so you just have to believe me.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  Anyway, I used the sleeve of my graphic tee to wipe some of the lingering tears from my eyes as Joan and I once again found ourselves standing in front of the mayor's office.

  "You know what they say. Third time's a charm." I puffed out my chest, ready to push our investigation forward.

  "This is only our second time here." A groan escaped her lips as she shot me an annoyed look.

  "Well shit..." Taking a deep breath before I turned, walked a few steps away, stopped for a moment, turned again, and rejoined Joan in front of the mayor's office. "Ah yes, back again. This time, it's my third time here and not my second because I left for a moment after the second time I was here. Third time's a charm."

  "I don't know who you think you're entertaining, but it just comes off as annoying. Can we please just get on with it before I change my mind about keeping you around?"

  My body stiffened as I realized my antics might be moving past playful again. At least Read the Room wasn't showing any signs of hostility, but that probably shouldn't be the barometer of how far I should push my antics.

  The large wooden door was lighter than I remembered as I pushed it open. The lighter door reminded me that we still had about 100 minutes left on our ramen buff. Joan's insistence to move quickly wasn't completely unfounded since we'd want to take advantage of our +5 stats while we had them. I held the door for Joan.

  "After you." I made an unironic bow, that likely still came off as ironic as she passed through the doorway into the lobby. The receptionist, an exhausted looking middle-aged woman glanced up from her desk with an annoyed sigh, clearly recognizing us.

  "There is no Dana, only Zuul." Joan's open palm connected with the back of my head hard enough for me to have to check if I lost any HP. Yes, yes I did. Luckily the boosted CON from the ramen meant that my HP was still higher than it normally would be. Still... OUCH!

  "Pardon the village idiot, we're here to see if Mayor Night is in." Her face held a wide smile, while her left eye twitched from annoyance.

  "Right..." The receptionist stared at us for a few moments, mostly at me, before releasing another deep sigh. "He's in. You have a few minutes before curfew, so you'd better make it quick. And remember, he's a busy man."

  As the receptionist turned toward the door to the mayor's office, Joan turned to me once again, her glare turning my soul to ice.

  "I normally don't let anyone past even when he's here... But honestly, if I had to deal with your boyfriend any longer, I'd be envious of those missing..." She quickly stops herself, turning back with a fake smile. "Just go inside before I say anything that'd cost me my job."

  "He's not my boyfriend. Do I look like I don't have standards to you?" Joan huffed as she passed the receptionist and entered the office.

  "I mean, it's true that I'm not your boyfriend, but could you have said it a little nicer? Or maybe not have said it with so much urgency?" As my head drooped, my eyes drifted toward the receptionist. My eyes could see what Joan's could not. I could see her intent.

  My journal appeared in my left palm as I stepped past the threshold. The summoned pen in my right hand jotted a quick note on a new blank page before I raised my eyes to the room we now occupied.

  Two uncomfortable wooden chairs faced the most expensive looking piece of furniture I'd seen since arriving in this world (except for the Ms Pacman cabinet back at The Gene). The mayor's desk leapt out, almost appearing to belong more in a 1980's stereotypical businessman's office. Despite the high quality of the out of place desk, the surface was covered with stacks of paper and a coffee mug that read World's Best Grandma. As odd as the mug was, especially being even more out of place than the desk, the figure sitting behind the desk was easily the most unsettling thing in the room. Perched on a massive leather chair that appeared to be from the same 1980's office as the desk, was a small gaunt man who looked almost identical to Dr Lorre from the Looney Tunes cartoons. You know, the bug eyed scientist guy? Although, I guess technically he looked like famous character actor Peter Lorre since Dr Lorre was based off of him. But I have a much bigger connection to the Looney Tunes cartoons than to The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, or M. Thinking about it, I guess I do really know a bit more about Peter Lorre than I give myself credit for. Ok, so the dude behind the desk looks like Peter Lorre, not Dr Lorre. That's my final answer.

  "Does he normally look this stupid?" The obvious Dr Lorre inspired voice said. Yes, the voice was obviously a bad impression of Dr Lorre, and Dr Lorre was a good impression of Peter Lorre, so I change my answer to the dude looking like Dr Lorre.

  "You have no idea. So I'm really hoping you'll answer some questions for us so I can get this over with as quickly as possible... For both our sakes."

  "Hey! I didn't even say anything yet! This little gag where I'm the butt of all your jokes is getting old." I pouted with arms crossed, glancing side-eyed at Joan.

  "If you insist, I'm a busy man after all." The response from Lorre, who obviously was Mayor Night, I mean the desk had an 80's style nameplate and everything. I should have mentioned that earlier. Mayor Night took a sip from his World's Best Grandma mug while his eyes flashed between his two guests.

  I stepped forward, standing in front of one of the chairs, but refusing to sit. My right hand pressed the tip of the pen against the journal page as I prepared to take notes. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mayor Night. I am the Legendary Gentleman Detective, and this is Doctor Wilson."

  "He's Clay, I'm Joan." She groaned loudly, "Clay... Focus."

  "As amusing as this little comedy routine between you and your girlfriend, I already know who you are and why you're here, so let's cut to the chase. Tell me what you want to say so I can get back to work." Night furrowed his brow as he attempted to intimidate me. No red outline.

  "I'm not his girlfriend! What is wrong with you people?" Red outline, although not sure if it was directed at me or Mayor Night.

  "Could have just let it pass..." I muttered under my breath to nobody in particular before I got myself into business mode and started my interview. "Unlike Miss Sunflower Dress to my right, I'll do my best to move things along for you... I like the dress, Joan, it sounded like an insult, but it suits you very well..."

  "It doesn't really sound like you're moving things along Mr Gentleman Detective."

  "LEGENDARY Gentleman Detective, but please call me Clay. Mr Gentleman Detective was my father." A short silence reminded me that only I find my jokes funny. "For someone who claims to be busy, you have very odd hours. Rumor has it, you rarely show up before sunset. I'd say that's atypical, wouldn't you Joan?"

  "It's not normal, for sure."

  "Not that it's any of your business, but I prefer working at night. I hardly see why that would have anything to do with the reason for your unwelcome presence in my office this evening."

  "You know, Mayor Night, you should be a little nicer to your guests. Aren't you an elected official? Isn't it important to be remotely likeable?" I prodded him.

  "That's awfully bold of you to say. But last I checked Players aren't among my constituents. You don't have a vote, so I couldn't care less what you think of me."

  Joan and I shared a quick glance, his use of the term Players was not lost on either of us.

  "I could spread rumors to your actual voters. Although..." I left the word hang in the air playfully, feeling Night's tension rise with every second. "I doubt any rumors I could start would hold a candle to the rumors that are already spreading."

  Bullseye. Mayor Night's eyes open wide for a moment before he swallows his emotion... Only at surface level, though. I got the red outline I was looking for.

  "Look Night, I'm trying to help you here. All I want are answers to what's going on. You've already been making it hard enough for everyone by fighting Sheriff Placeholder's investigation. Unlike him, I don't have the patience or the glorious mustache for your bullshit."

  The mustache part, while true, might have hurt the tension I was creating. Still, it's important to be true to yourself and never forget your priorities.

  "I don't get what you're trying to imply, you little brat."

  "I'm not little! I'm five eleven and a half!"

  Thwack! Joan reminded me to focus with a playful non-HP-reducing slap.

  "Heights aside, you know damned well what I'm implying. You're making yourself look guilty as hell by fighting the investigation."

  "You're five foot eight at best." Night fires back, still highlighted in red. "So you're saying you think I'm the one behind the disappearances? That's a very dangerous accusation to make without any proof."

  With a friendly smile, only slightly dripping with condescension, I replied to him, "Mayor Night, you and I both know you're not behind the disappearances. I'm trying to help you. So why don't you help me help you?"

  "Your boyfr... Friend, is insane. He's all over the place, what is this?!" Night shouted, getting even more exasperated by the second. Joan started to reply but stopped herself as her eyes caught mine. She nodded slightly in understanding.

  "You're not helping yourself. Fighting the curfew and the investigation, I mean. No matter how much you say it's to protect local businesses in Marblehead, you know that's a faulty argument. So tell me what the real reason is."

  "You said it yourself. Shutting the town down at sunset hurts local businesses. It's not faulty at all. You don't know the first thing about my responsibilities or the people who rely on me to make sure they can put food on their tables."

  "It's hard to put food on tables if the person disappears altogether. I know personally I'd rather have a lighter wallet than get murdered and leave my family without a means of support." My eyes lock onto his, looking for any signs of deception.

  "Keeping the businesses open isn't going to make the number of appearances go up, and closing them won't change things either. The bottom line is that our active night life is important for the town's economy. Nothing good would come from following through with Sheriff Placeholder's farce of an investigation. He doesn't even have evidence or a witness." His eyes showed me exactly what I needed to know.

  Sighing, I turned my back to Mayor Night. "I'm not good at a lot of things, but I'm very good at knowing when someone's lying to me. When you have people try to deceive you for a living, even the least perceptive person would get good at sifting through the bullshit."

  "You must not be as good as you think, because I wasn't lying." Night's palms slammed on his desk, nearly tipping over his mug. "You are hands down the worst detective I've ever met. And your partner here can't be any better since she hasn't even chimed in other than to let me know just how much she hates your guts. You're a joke Clay."

  Bending backwards and turning my head in an unnatural way, keeping my back facing Mayor Night, I greeted him with a Cheshire Cat grin and manic eyes. His highlight immediately disappeared as his body stiffened in response.

  "Oh, I know, Night. You don't need to remind me. Nobody knows just how much the world despises me more than myself. Hell, I lead the charge when it comes to hating me. Just know, it's better for you to come clean because it'll only get worse if you keep your activities hidden."

  My head turned back around and my face returned to normal. Having served his purpose for the time being, it was time to move onto our next step. My feet were moving toward the door before anyone could respond.

  "It's okay, Joan. Let's go." The sound of her feet following behind let me know she was on the same page as me. Why did she have so much faith in me? What did she see?

  The office door clicked shut behind us. I turned to the receptionist with a polite grin.

  "We'll be back tomorrow during the day. I'll be ready for your cooperation. It's not good to keep secrets, it shortens your life."

  Returning to the street, we left the office behind us. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon of the dreary town.

  My body immediately went limp, barely able to catch myself on the railing.

  "That was terrifying. Please just have me face down a ten foot tall werewolf or something. Talking to people is just too much."

  "Shut up, Clay. You're too good at that to hate it as much as you claim. And take the compliment, because I really won't give you many."

  "Being good at something doesn't mean my body doesn't treat it as poison. Have you ever dealt with social anxiety? I don't recommend it." In a rare moment of seriousness and a not-so-rare moment of vulnerability, I confessed my weakness to Joan.

  Her hand patted my back in what I could only refer to as a 'There there' style gesture. "So what's your take? Do you think he was lying?"

  More surprised than comforted by the contact, I turned to face Joan. "No, he was telling the truth."

  "So he's not involved."

  "No, he's guilty as sin. I just don't know exactly what he's guilty of yet."

  Another rare moment of catching the usually perceptive Joan off guard. Her eyes did her best to read me.

  "He knows that the businesses being open or closed won't change the disappearances. Which means he knows what's causing them."

  "And you stopped the interrogation because?..."

  "His actions will tell us much more than anything he's willing to say. He prepped himself to be questioned. Even if he responds to all of our questions with lies, it'd just be speculation that he's lying to us, and even more, we wouldn't really know the truth behind his lies. We won't get anywhere without evidence."

  "So right now..."

  I met her gaze with a smile. We're on the same page.

  "Get your pen ready. We're going to get our hands dirty with some mobs and get this investigation really moving forward."

  One final time, I glanced at the notes from my interview before storing my journal. My empty hands reminded me that unlike Joan, I didn't have a weapon. When the stores opened back up the next day, I should make some time to find something I can use.

  With the sun hidden behind the horizon, the town of Marblehead took on an entirely new sense of darkness. Despite Night's efforts to fight the curfew, tonight it had clearly been ineffective since Joan and I were the only two people on the street. Joan followed next to me.

  "Do you really think we're going to have to fight something? I'm assuming mobs means monsters or something..."

  "I know we are..."

  Where we stood, feet planted on the side of the street, I scanned the surroundings. No less than twenty red highlights appeared hidden in the shadows, and that was just what was included in Read the Room's range.