“Frightening?” I couldn’t help but raise my head.

  “Yeah, like he had disregarded all assurance of us being here.” Shin said. His eyes locked forward. “People always seek meaning in life. If there’s none, we tend to lose our direction. Wandering around and wasting our potential. And for some people assurance is something very essential to fulfill that.” He said being deep in thought.

  The more my mind wandered the more different meanings I could imagine. I could see what Shin meant by frightening. That the fact being born into a flow of something just to forward something from before. That whatever we do there’s no point in it. In the end we would end up continuing to cause and effect something for the future to follow it.

  “I believe that destiny as a concept is created by our minds. We collectively believe in it and in that way conjure it into the outer world.” I said.

  Shin stared at me silently for a long second then turned his head away. He turned his car engine on.

  “I do like to believe that some things that we can’t explain are meant to stay like that. I don’t think there is a need to look into whether destiny is real or not.” He said and moved his attention away from the deep thoughts I was piling on him.

  He looked around, checking if it was clear to start driving.

  I leaned in my chair.

  “Knowing everything isn’t always for the best.” He told me.

  I couldn’t help but silently nod.

  A silence overtook us as he drove ahead.

  I took out my phone to look at the time, it was closing at half-six in the evening. We drove on the roads of Akasia. The streets were half wet, from the rain earlier today. Clouds slowly dispersing, air slightly damp. The roads weren’t too busy, just two to five cars seen around at times.

  I did agree with the words Shin said but couldn’t help but feel that he had noticed something amiss. I didn’t want to pay my mind to it and let out a long sigh. Extending my hand towards this guy Shinichi Lawyet and locking my palm with his as he drove on.

  “Fate or not, we are still here!” I said, putting my best smile on.

  Shin also smiled with eyes on the road.

  “We are!” His eyes brightened.

  The car stopped after a while at the front of a field. We have been here a couple of times. Just hanging out in nature.

  To Shin, this was the closest place for escape.

  We don’t come here often but whenever we do. We spend hours here.

  Stepping out of the car and walking over to the edge of a road, I looked at the sight before us. A big green field and even bigger forest behind it.

  Shin stood behind me. He placed both his hands all over me and head resting on my shoulder.

  The air was warm. Surprisingly warm for this time of the year. Though, the wind made it slightly cold. Nearing the end of a year. The end of a beautiful autumn with winter right around the corner. November month.

  I put my hands over Shin’s and in silence. We stood here. Our backs turned away from the city. Enjoying the view of nature. The last breath of autumn. Colorful trees showing their last grace before falling into the deep slumber of a winter.

  “I wish I could just go and never turn back.” Shin whispered into my ear.

  “Where would you go?” I asked him.

  A long sigh came out of Shin. Lifting his head from my shoulder and looking towards the field in front.

  Our faces were very close.

  “I don’t know.” He answered me. Not fully aware of his state.

  I only smiled at him warmly. “My dear Shin.” My hand reached to touch his cheek. “We only have one life. Don’t tie yourself to obligations and expectations. It will only wear you down further on.” I told him softly.

  Who was the one saying that same sentence to me?

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  Shin has been working so hard these past weeks. Hardly managing to find time for himself or me. That’s why we were studying together. Spending time and still being productive.

  “You speak like you’re a sage!” Shin chuckled at my words to him, but his eyes told me something entirely else.

  “I am one!” I turned my eyes all serious.

  “Oh?” Shin turned himself to stand in front.

  “Does that mean you’re old all under this young skin?” His fingers landed on my cheek.

  “Aha! I find young youths like you and turn them into an elixir!” I said with a bright smile on my face, pretending to be serious.

  Shin raised his brows. “Am I your next victim?” He asked. Playing along and pretending to be surprised.

  I nodded in agreement smiling. “Now that you know. I can’t let you go. Ever!” I said. My hand reached his uniform's tie, pulling him closer. Our noses only inches away. Eyes deeply stared at each other. Those deep blue youthful eyes.

  A piece of Shin’s black hair was falling forward on his face.

  I liked how he looked so dreamy like this. Still in his student uniform. It made me take a break from the world and study. A timeless and precious momentary pause in this late November day.

  “Are you really okay to be with someone like me?” He asked a question unexpectedly. Dampening the mood created here.

  Our eyes stared into each other for a moment longer.

  I narrowed mine. “I could ask the same thing to you, rich boy!” I said, trying to cheer him up.

  “Rory, if it weren't for you. I don’t know what I'd be doing now!” The way he was acting told me he wanted something from me.

  I only sighted, knowing that delaying or changing the subject wouldn’t do here, so I just went for it. “Is meeting your brother really that important?” I asked. Turning back to the conversation we started earlier.

  Shin immediately nodded. Here we are after all.

  “It’s not really for me and you.” He said to me, we stood still in place.

  Our faces were inches away.

  “It’s not for you or me or even for your brother?” I asked, reading his eyes.

  “Sort of.” Shin answered, then continued. “My family is wary of everyone who is involved with us. My brother just wants to see what kind of person you are.”

  “And If I fit into the path you are supposed to go?” I raised a well-known issue with him.

  Shin only nodded helplessly.

  “You are working for something you don’t even know you want to do but also don’t have the guts to tell your family about it. Why?” I didn’t want to open Pandora's box, but every time I looked into Shin’s eyes, I could sense this reluctance in them. Like he was gritting his teeth to bear a burden he did not want to do.

  Those two blue eyes stared at me for a long time. In complete silence he looked at me, unable to speak. Deep blue dreamy souls were Shin’s eyes trying to push away the truth before him.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but he grabbed my collar to pull me into a kiss. Our lips touched, his emotions were intense pouring over all directed into his lips that were kissing me. I responded by pulling him in myself, kissing him passionately back. When we pulled away our lips were red. Catching our breath, I smiled.

  “You know! On the other hand…it doesn’t matter. If you put your emotions towards me like this. I don’t mind!” I said to Shin who managed to laugh at my words.

  “I don’t think it’s about me not wanting to do what my family wants to do but rather that they aren't given me that choice.” He said to me, addressing his issue.

  “If you had a choice, what would you do?” I asked.

  “Probably…the same thing I am already doing.” He said almost laughing at his pointless struggle.

  From the surface level, I can see the pointlessness in his feelings but at the same time. It’s the choice he is denied and the feeling of pressure from his role in the future. Trapped inside his own nest. Shinichi Lawyet, the black-haired boy with those bright deep blue ocean eyes.

  “What am I going to do with you?” I shook my head, letting out a sigh.

  “I will meet your brother. If he doesn’t like me it’s going to be his issue, not mine.” I told Shin, who smiled at my words.

  “Of course!” He took my hand and pulled me towards the field.

  “My family in a way is similar. If we ever decide to stay with each other you’re supposed to fill the shoes of the very large.” I added.

  “What do you mean?” Shin stopped puzzled by my cryptic message.

  “Nothing to worry about today!” I smiled innocently.

  He stared at me, eyes trailed on my face. Suddenly, he pulled back and laughed out loud. Light laughter echoed in the air. His calm, soft and playful demeanor was coming right back anew. It was truly refreshing to see!

  “You have had a big leaf in your hair this whole time!!!” Shin laughed brightly like this was the funniest thing in the world. He smiled a big smile, stretching his hand, and picking out a big red maple leaf from my dark brown hair.

  Shin stared at it in his hand for a moment and then let it go.

  It was a big one. Perfectly shaped with dark red and brown, orange tone. It slowly fell beneath our feet.

  I looked at it as it was in slow motion. My mind picked out the smell of rain. Shin’s laughter and the colour of the maple leaf slowly falling beneath our feet's. My heart felt warm at this moment. Something that I wished to stay in and cherish.

  I returned my smile and stepped forward pulling him over.

  Our feet left the side of the road and stepped into the field; the grass all wet under our shoes. The clouds at this point all seemed to have disappeared, the sun shining, slowly reaching the tip of the trees, making everything look bright red and orange. We ran towards the big forest in the distance with bright smiles on each of our faces. We put those heavy topics out of our minds for now.