Chapter 32

  Treasure

  After the remaining pirates were either dead or running for their lives, Rel and I turned our attention to the jungle that stood between us and the towering column at the island’s heart. If treasure was going to be anywhere, that was where we’d find it.

  Then again… if somebody wanted to hide treasure, would it make sense to put it in the most obvious place possible?

  I shrugged.

  It’d be fun either way.

  When we entered the jungle, the light grew dimmer with each step, the dense foliage acting as a sort of green filter. The air felt damper and the sounds a little more muted. Long vines snaked their way around tree branches and then hung low across our path. Let me tell you – it’s not a very pleasant sensation to have a chunky vine bounce off your head. I kept expecting them to come alive and try to strangle me.

  I’d learned one very important lesson since arriving in this new world: assume everything wants to kill you until you can prove otherwise. It was a sound philosophy, but I was definitely developing some trust issues…

  We’d travelled around a hundred metres into the jungle when the pirates sprang their ambush. The crafty bastards had been hiding in the trees, dropping from the branches to surround us. One particularly committed pirate had even covered himself in mud to blend in with the trunk of a tree.

  Or, on closer inspection, maybe he was just really fucking filthy…

  Based on the arrogance written across their faces, I assumed that these particular pirates hadn’t witnessed the massacre on the beach.

  “The treasure is ours, you scurvy dogs,” snarled the one who looked like he’d recently bathed in a sewer.

  “Did he just call me a dog?” said Rel, his voice low and dangerous. “I’m an arboreal observer.”

  Ohh, he’s in trouble.

  “Pete,” he continued, waving a paw contemptuously at the pirates surrounding us, “I think these fools require an education in how to differentiate between species.”

  I grinned and poised myself to burst into action, but froze when Rel began to chuckle under his breath. I glanced down at him and saw a look in his eye that made me both incredibly excited and a little worried. It reminded me of when he’d first learned to cast fireball.

  Oh, those poor pirates.

  They closed in with the confidence of predators. Little did they know that they were about to be prey. Very, very short-lived prey.

  Their first warning came in the form of a pulsing sphere of green energy winking into existence on the palm of Rel’s outstretched paw.

  They faltered at the sight of it, but rather than retreating or attacking, they stood transfixed, watching in morbid fascination as the sphere expanded rapidly. It bathed Rel’s face in verdant light, causing his eyes to glow like corrupt emeralds.

  His chuckle grew louder.

  Then he slammed the orb into the ground.

  The forest woke up, and it very quickly became evident that it was not a morning person.

  Having been on the receiving end of the same spell many times on Floor Four, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take a certain amount of pleasure in watching other people get slapped around by nature. However, Rel’s version seemed… particularly potent. I guessed his higher intelligence acted as some sort of magical fertiliser, producing some satisfying but disturbing results.

  The vines struck first, darting down like serpents. Some lashed against bodies, the sickening crack of breaking bones echoing through the forest. The force of the blows sent pirates hurtling through the air. Other vines, apparently a little more sadistic, struck from behind, coiling around throats before hauling their victims, legs flailing, into the foliage above.

  Next came the roots.

  Their entrance wasn’t quite so dramatic as the vines. Instead, they chose to creep out of the ground, winding themselves around the ankles of unsuspecting pirates. Once they had a nice, firm grip, they dragged their screaming victims down into the earth, the ground parting enthusiastically to welcome its new friends.

  All in all, it was fucking terrifying.

  I think the pirates agreed, as those still standing retreated rather quickly. And when I say rather quickly, I mean they sprinted the fuck away like it was the 100m finals in the Olympics.

  “Pete,” said Rel softly as he surveyed his work, “thank you for the scroll. It’s the greatest gift I’ve ever received.”

  * * *

  When we emerged from the jungle into the large clearing that surrounded the white stone column, we saw that we were not alone.

  Dozens of bodies littered the ground, the proof of battles already fought. The victors, a group of six pirates, stood beside the column. Five were on guard while the sixth – the pirate mage we had earlier witnessed call down a bolt of lightning – ran her hands over the surface of the stone.

  We were spotted almost immediately, one of the pirates bellowing a warning to his companions. The other five whipped round to face us, their eyes narrowing in suspicion. From a quick glance, it was obvious that these pirates were of a different calibre to the ones we had encountered so far.

  The most obvious sign? They were actually clean.

  “I’m honestly relieved that not all pirates are hygienically challenged,” I said. “When I was a kid, a teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer? A pirate.”

  Rel snorted.

  “So back at sea when I saw the skull and crossbones, I was pretty damn excited,” I continued. “But meeting the pirate captain and seeing how gross he was put a real damper on things.”

  I gestured to the approaching pirates, my smile growing wider as I studied them.

  “But this? This is more like it!”

  Leading them was a woman who was only a little shorter than me. Her tanned face was framed by flaming red hair, and her nose and cheeks were dotted with countless freckles. She wore long, flowing robes of midnight blue, the hem of which trailed gently across the ground. In her hand, she held a thin rod of black metal. Dozens of intricately carved runes had been etched into its surface, glowing with a pulsing blue light.

  Best of all?

  Her hat.

  It was almost identical to Rel’s, but rather than the stars being silver, they were gold.

  As she approached, her gaze was fixed firmly on Rel.

  His was fixed firmly on her.

  I could almost feel the tension in the air as they sized each other up.

  When they were around ten metres away, she raised a hand to bring her group to a halt. Her companions were all men, mean-looking fuckers who you wouldn’t want to cross. They wore such similar equipment that it almost looked like a uniform – well-maintained leather armour strapped over cotton shirts that matched the colour of the mage’s robes. They’d all drawn their swords — ferocious-looking cutlasses — and held polished metal bucklers.

  Best of all? They all wore bandanas. Not only were they undeniably pirates – they were also clean and stylish ones.

  “Leave this place at once and we shall let you live,” she said. Her voice had an edge to it, the sort that suggested you’d have to be a moron to cross her.

  Fortunately, we were morons.

  “Let us live?” said Rel. “You talk a big game for someone with such a shit hat.”

  She glared at him like he’d just kicked her puppy. The runes on the rod she carried began to glow with greater intensity, and even with the distance between us, I was sure I could hear a faint buzzing sound coming from it.

  Rel was not finished.

  “I mean, seriously? Gold stars?” he said. He paused for a moment to study her hat, then shook his head pityingly. “Any real magus knows that silver is the superior colour. Perhaps you’re a phony? A wannabe? Listen, if you want some advice on arcane attire, you need only ask. Magus Rel would never refuse to help someone so clearly lacking in taste.”

  The buzz had turned into a violent crackle, and miniature arcs of lightning were dancing across the surface of the rod.

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  “I am Alania, Queen of the Pirates. I have conquered the seas, united the pirate clans of the north, and struck down enemies that would inspire fear in the hearts of even the bravest warrior,” she snarled. “And yet you dare to speak to me in such a way?”

  She raised a hand to gesture to her companions.

  “Kill the man,” she snarled, not taking her eyes off Rel. “The arrogant little rat is mine.”

  * * *

  Rel could sense the magic gathering in Alania’s weapon. It was potent sorcery, but it was not hers. She was no magus – she merely possessed a powerful item that gave the illusion she could wield magic.

  Over the past few months, Rel had come to learn that different kinds of magic had their own unique… flavour. The lightning energy channelled by the item was chaotic and unrestrained. It possessed no subtlety or sense of control – it only held one purpose.

  Destruction.

  Rel could feel the power gathering, ready to be unleashed in a devastating attack.

  He felt the passenger’s amusement and disdain bubbling in the depths of his mind.

  Such primitive magic held no threat. Rel could see Alania directing the arcane energies as clearly as he could see the ground beneath his feet.

  A bolt of lightning burst into existence, making the air itself tremble with its passing. It struck with a deafening fury.

  The ground exploded, sending dirt cascading through the air.

  * * *

  Alania’s lips parted in a savage smile when she witnessed the enormous, smoking crater her spell had carved into the earth.

  Many had doubted her over the years, and she had always taken great pleasure in proving them wrong, whether it be through violence or superior cunning.

  But…

  All those victories paled in comparison to smiting that insufferable little rodent. In her lifetime, she had never met a being so infuriating, so arrogant.

  She turned to face her men, ready to give the order that they return to the column. The mystery of how to enter had evaded her thus far, but she knew that with a little more time, she would find a way in.

  Her eyes widened.

  “What…” she whispered. “How?”

  Her men lay unmoving on the ground. Whether they were dead or merely unconscious, she could not tell.

  The rodent’s companion stood amongst them, wetting his thumb with his tongue. Alania watched in dumbstruck disbelief as he reached down to pinch the fabric of his shirt with one hand before furiously rubbing his thumb against the material in a futile attempt to remove a bloodstain.

  He sighed and gave up. Looking up, he saw the horrified expression on her face. He smiled broadly and waved his hand as if to dispel her concerns.

  “Don’t worry,” he said cheerfully. “It has a self-clean function! I just wanted to see if I could speed the process up a little bit. Never mind though – it’ll be as good as new soon.”

  She just shook her head.

  Those men had formed her personal bodyguard. It had taken her years to gather them together - the greatest warriors of their respective factions. They had followed her into countless battles and wars, striking down anyone who sought to harm her.

  How dare he!

  She raised the rod and the chaotic magical energy began to gather once more.

  There was a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye, and instincts forged in a hundred battles took control. She threw her body to the side, narrowly avoiding a blazing fireball. The heat of it singed her skin as it hurtled past.

  She rolled gracefully to her feet, scanning the area.

  The rodent stood before her, unharmed, his head tilted slightly as he studied her.

  “The magic you wield may be powerful,” he said. “But it pales in comparison to the real thing.”

  Another fireball roared into being at the tip of his tail, the flames cackling gleefully.

  * * *

  Rel did not feel quite as confident as he sounded. Although her magic posed little threat, she was still a skilled and powerful warrior. From the speed and coordination she demonstrated, her agility and strength must be considerable.

  He knew that if he asked, Pete would crush her in an instant.

  But what would that accomplish?

  If he wanted to close the gulf that was growing between him and his friend, he needed to earn it. Annihilating the ‘Queen of the Pirates’ seemed as good a place to start as any.

  Rel darted forward. Alania moved to intercept him, her movements every bit as quick as his. She lashed out with a savage kick, the fabric of her robe impeding the attack. Rel pushed off the ground, redirecting his path, and felt the displaced air from the kick buffet his fur. His tail lashed out, and the fireball collided with her chest.

  Alania staggered backwards, grimacing in pain. Her robes and the armour beneath had protected her body from the worst of the heat, but the exposed skin on her neck and chin had not fared so well. It was already reddening, angry blisters beginning to form.

  Her expression darkened as she looked down at the charred fabric. She reached up and grasped it, tearing the robe from her body. Beneath it, she wore the same armour as her bodyguards. The brown leather was singed black and patches of it fell away, reduced to little more than ash.

  She had two daggers sheathed at her belt. Her arms crossed as she drew them, the rasp of metal cutting through the hush of the clearing.

  Rel had not been idle, an orb of green energy forming on the palm of his paw. Sensing the danger, Alania charged, forcing Rel to slam the orb into the ground before it was fully charged.

  Even with the reduced power Rel had fed it, nature came to his aid. It did not need roots or vines to tip the scales of a fight. The ground shifted beneath Alania’s feet, knocking her off-balance. Jagged ridges formed in the earth, causing her to stagger.

  Rel capitalised on every moment of weakness, bombarding her with a torrent of fireballs. She managed to avoid some of them, but many still landed as glancing blows. The fabric of her shirt had completely burned away, and her arms were covered in angry blisters.

  “You little bastard,” she snarled. Her expression held anger and desperation in equal measure. “My story does not end here. I refuse to die at the hands of so pathetic a creature!”

  “What makes you think this is your story?” said Rel.

  He shot forward, a grey blur. He stayed low, drawing out her attack. Her anger was clouding her judgment, and she dove to meet him, daggers glinting with the reflection of the flames that flickered above his tail. He pushed off the ground, her blades slicing through the space he had occupied only a moment before, and spun in the air to launch the fireball with explosive speed.

  It struck her head.

  Her smoking body crumpled to the ground.

  * * *

  Holy shit.

  I’ll do everybody a favour and skip the description of Alania’s corpse. Let’s just say – it wasn’t pretty. When I walked over to loot her, I tilted my head at an awkward angle in a desperate attempt to avoid looking at it directly.

  She’d dropped a single item – the icon a black rod carved with runes. Once it was in the pouch, I headed back over to Rel. He’d not said a word since the fight ended. He stared off into the distance, his eyes narrowed as though deep in thought.

  “Are you okay, buddy?” I asked softly.

  He startled, then cleared his throat.

  “Yes, of course,” he said. “Order has been restored to the world of magic. Silver stars have once and for all proven themselves superior to gold.”

  I wasn’t convinced, but I didn’t push the subject. He’d speak about whatever was on his mind when he was ready.

  “What do you think of this?” I said, withdrawing the item from the inventory and placing it on the ground in front of him.

  Lightning Rod of the Pirate Queen

  Equipping the rod grants the following bonuses:

  + 2 intelligence

  + Grants the ability: Lightning Bolt

  Lightning Bolt

  Damage dealt scales with the user’s intelligence

  Rod holds three charges

  Each recharge takes thirty seconds

  Small chance to stun targets on hit

  “Such items are a crutch,” he said. “A pale imitation of the real thing. Observe.”

  He ran a paw over it, tracing the pattern of each rune with a claw. He muttered under his breath as he did so, concentration etched across his features.

  And then arcs of lightning started to crackle.

  But not along the surface of the rod…

  They danced across Rel’s paw.

  Well, damn. Who needs scrolls, eh?

  * * *

  “So, how do you think we get into this thing?” I asked.

  We’d spent the last few minutes walking the perimeter of the column, studying the smooth surface for any signs of an entrance.

  There was nothing.

  At least not in terms of doors, locks, handles, or hinges.

  However, in the spot where Alania had been standing when we first arrived, we found a number of strange patterns carved into the stone. Rel did not recognise them as arcane symbols, so we assumed they must be some sort of puzzle.

  “Riddle me this,” I said, turning to face Rel. “A man with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer encounters a door that only opens if he can complete a puzzle. The problem is – he doesn’t like puzzles. How does he get inside?”

  I turned to face the column, drew back my arm, and unleashed a right cross of epic proportions. The wall crumpled where my fist struck, chunks of white stone raining down around us.

  I’m very excited to report that one punch wasn’t enough to break through. The hole I’d created and all the cracks that ran through the surrounding stone emitted a pulsing purple light.

  “They’ve used a magical barrier to reinforce the structure,” said Rel, studying it with professional interest. “I’d imagine it’s to prevent exactly what you’re currently attempting.”

  I shrugged.

  “Progress often starts with someone doing something they’re not supposed to,” I said, breaking into a savage grin as I raised my fists for round two.

  Have you ever seen a guy on a punching bag at the gym who clearly doesn’t have a fucking clue what he’s doing? He just stands there and unloads a flurry of wild jabs and crosses into the thing, grunting like he’s going twelve rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world.

  I was that guy.

  The difference was I had the strength to back it up.

  Each blow caused the purple light to pulse brighter and brighter as though the spell’s energy reserves were being drained to reinforce the barrier. The intensity of the light grew to the point that I had to close my eyes.

  Then, with an outraged whine, the spell failed and the light winked out of existence.

  The wall exploded.

  You have gained 1 strength.

  Current strength: 45

  “Peter Brookes 1, Magic 0.”

  Once the dust had cleared, we stepped through the doorway I’d made in the wall.

  Upon entering, it quickly became clear that the column was one of the most wasteful uses of resources I’d ever seen. Other than a chest in the middle of the floor, it was entirely empty.

  No living things. No furniture. No staircase.

  It was dark inside, presumably because I’d drained the place’s mana reserves, so I had Rel launch a fireball into the void above us.

  It kept going. And going. And going.

  Until it reached the top and struck the ceiling.

  I no longer had any regrets about smacking the shit out of their barrier. You could’ve built a small town with all the stone they’d wasted on this monstrosity.

  “Well, this is rather anticlimactic,” said Rel. “Let’s hope the loot makes up for it.”

  We approached the chest a little hesitantly, half expecting some magical defence to try and take our heads off.

  Thankfully, it seemed that the barrier was all it had up its sleeve.

  I knelt in front of the chest, excited to see the treasures stuffed inside. I expected it to be full to the brim with gold, silver, and precious gems.

  Imagine my disappointment when I lifted the lid only to see an inventory interface appear.

  There were two items inside. One looked like a healing potion, but the vial in the icon looked a little different to the ones I’d seen before. It looked more… expensive. There was a small number five in the bottom right corner of the icon.

  Holy shit.

  The other item was a wand!

  I kept a straight face as I transferred it to the inventory pouch.

  Wand of Arcane Supremacy

  A stylish wand for a stylish magus. Silver stars preferred.

  Equipping the wand grants the following bonuses:

  + 3 intelligence

  + Spell damage increased by 10% when channelled through the wand

  My eyes narrowed at the description. Surely that couldn’t be a coincidence.

  “Anything interesting?” asked Rel.

  He still seemed a little subdued, but I had a strong suspicion that was about to change.

  “Nothing much,” I said, shrugging. “Here, take a look for yourself.”

  I passed him the pouch and then waited.

  3… 2…

  Rel squeaked excitedly, a wand appearing in his paw. It was impressive how the items seemed to change size to perfectly suit their user.

  I felt sorry for the next enemy unfortunate enough to cross his path. I imagined they were going to become a very unfortunate test subject…

  Heron's Hearth In Another World

  TweekZ