I'd been in bed all day, and I was looking forward to getting back in it. I still had time before the attack came, and I meant to use it well. Pemberton and Mum had been great, the former even going upstairs to sort out the armor fiasco. I think it was as much to explain to Calista why she couldn't wear her new 'armor' into battle as it was to get Elanthe's back before she opened the package. He was really quite the find.

  I mulled over asking Mum if he thought he could get a majority of the villagers to back me on a personal level. I didn't know that it mattered, but it would feel better when I faced down Vorghammul. There's something about having a majority backing you that feels right. Tengen decided to make an appearance before I could ask.

  So Monkey-boy, any idea why a mob with pitchforks and torches is coming up the road?

  "I'm sorry, what?"

  The damn cat stretched, sticking her butt directly in Mum's face before answering. I've heard that cats only do that if they respect and trust you, but all evidence indicated to me that this was not the case. She sat down, curled her tail over her front paws, and yawned.

  Yep. Big mob. Pitchforks and torches. Headed this way. You'd better deal with them, because they're not mad at me, and if they burn down my house, there will be hell to pay. I'm not talking about the demon kind, I'm talking the pissed-off House Cat kind.

  I made my way to the front of the house and looked out the window. Sure enough, about twenty or thirty people were coming up the street. I didn't see pitchforks, but I did see rolling pins and cast-iron pans. I looked closer, and the mob appeared to be entirely composed of women.

  "Mum, what did you do?"

  He joined me at the window and looked out as incredulously as I did. "I don't think this one's on me, Master. Given a few of the conversations I had today, I suspect that this particular mob is after Calista's blood, not mine."

  How was it that I was dealing with a second mob in such short order? Given the tone of the yelling and the expressions on their faces, these women were mad, and it didn't matter if they were women or not. That many people could tear me apart at will. "Calista? What did she do? Use their laundry lines as high-jump crossbars?"

  "I believe she may have gone into town and assisted the militia with some training."

  "Training?"

  "Yes. In unarmed combat."

  "Oh no."

  "I'm afraid so."

  "Why'd she go and do that?"

  "You told her she could."

  "What? When?"

  "When I was briefing you on my idea for individual protection contracts."

  "This morning?"

  "Yes."

  I thought back to this morning, and it came back and hit me between the eyes. She had been talking as I was trying to think. I dismissed her— well, okay, I threw her out of the house without listening. Now I had a mob on my doorstep. Note to self, always listen when my demons are making plans.

  "You'd better go out there, Sir."

  "What, alone?"

  "Maybe take Boots?"

  "I haven't seen him all day. He's been hanging out with Arthur a lot."

  "Tengen?"

  I looked back where she was loafing on the kitchen table, and the idea struck me. Chicks dig cats. If I'm holding a cat, they won't set me ablaze. I had her scooped up in my arms and was through the front door before she could protest.

  Yeah, that's right. Right there on my chin. That's sooo good. Hey! Wait a second here—

  I stepped onto the porch with Tengen in my arms, and the mob surged forward before grinding to a halt at the bottom of the steps. The sight of me holding a purring cat seemed to short-circuit whatever violent intentions they'd brought with them.

  "Evening, ladies." I kept my voice calm and friendly. "What can I do for you?"

  "Your whore was rolling around with my Wilhelm today!"

  Several women echoed her outrage, waving their various weapons. One had brought a scythe and looked like she knew how to use it. Tengen squirmed in my arms, and I scratched behind her ears to keep her settled. The purring intensified. You're lucky I like you.

  "I'm so sorry." I shifted Tengen to get a better grip. "I've been laid up all day with this busted rib I got fighting the skeleton the other night. You were there, weren't you?" I nodded toward Louis' wife in the crowd. "Saw it happen?"

  She nodded slowly, some of the fire leaving her eyes. "No, but my lad was. Said he saw the thing throw you through a wall. That it threw the Amazon clear over the ruins."

  "Right. So I've been in bed all day, and my crew's been trying to help however they can." I winced, not entirely for show. "Calista came to me this morning with some idea about training, but I dismissed her. Didn't listen properly because I was trying to think through how to handle this demon attack that's coming—my mistake. I had no idea what she had planned. She's just so enthusiastic…"

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  "Your mistake? Enthusiastic?" Anna's voice cracked like a whip. "That harlot was wrapped around my Wilhelm like a constrictor snake!"

  "Teaching hand-to-hand combat." I kept my tone apologetic but firm. "Look, I get it. I really do. It was inappropriate, and it won't happen again. You have my word as a paladin." I met her eyes. "Calista won't be training your menfolk anymore."

  "Damn right she won't," muttered someone in the back.

  "Listen, I'm in real trouble here. When the demons come in a couple of days, I don't think I can stop them without being charged to do so by the council. It's a Light/Dark rules thing. I want every able-bodied man ready in case I fall. Should they get past me and mine, it will fall on your men to defend you, your children, and your homes, and I want them to be as ready as possible," I continued. "But not at the cost of your marriages or your peace of mind. I should've been paying better attention to what my people were doing instead of lying around, trying to avoid breathing deeply due to the pain."

  The mob's energy shifted, angry waves giving way to uncertain ripples. Tengen chose that moment to reach up and bat at my chin with one paw as I'd stopped scratching hers, and several women actually smiled. One cooed.

  "Well." Anna lowered her rolling pin. "See that it doesn't happen again." She tried to look threatening, but it was clear her anger was spent.

  "You have my word. No, you have my solemn word as a paladin of the Light. Calista will never again offer grappling lessons to your men."

  Some more soothing platitudes later, the women began dispersing, their righteous fury deflected. I stayed on the porch, chatting with each individually and in groups for as long as they wanted. Some of them just wanted to meet Tengen, which was fine with both of us. I don't know what it is with women and cats, but I was damn glad for it. Tengen rewarded them by purring like a tiny engine.

  As the last few stragglers headed down the road, I caught a snippet of conversation.

  "Still," one woman said to another, "Piotr was rather... energetic when he got home. Frisky, even. It's been a while since he's been like that."

  Her companion giggled. "Emil, too. Maybe I'll put that to good use tonight, even if I am cross about how he got that way. See if he can work himself back into my good graces."

  "Now there's an idea." The first woman's voice turned thoughtful. "Waste not, want not, as my mother always said."

  I barely suppressed a smile as they disappeared into the evening gloom, giggling to each other with naughty suggestions. Good for them.

  You can put me down now, monkey-boy.

  I set Tengen carefully on the porch railing. "Thanks for the assist."

  I didn't assist. You catnapped me and, for my own safety, I diffused the mob for you. I will remember this. She began grooming a rear paw.

  But I suppose you did convince a lot of the village women and their incredible fingernails to visit the cottage more often. Good for me, not so good for you. She jumped down from the railing and disappeared to wherever it is she patrols at night. They being married and all, and you being a strong and powerfully built young man and all.

  I really hate cats sometimes.

  * * *

  Father Yaqub felt weary down to his bones. He felt like his entire world had been knocked on its side. A few short days ago, he'd been nothing more than a village priest guiding his flock as they lived their simple and generally good lives. Now he had a paladin he didn't trust living a stone's throw away, a holy relic of immense importance secreted within his altar, discovered that one of his longtime neighbors was negotiating with demons for possession of the village he loved, and the threat of an imminent demon attack on his home. It was simply too much for a simple man such as himself to wrap his head around.

  Unable to sleep, he pulled on his shoes to head over to the chapel. He never locked it, but was still surprised when he entered and found someone sitting there, lit only by a single prayer candle. The figure turned around, and Yaqub was pleased to see that it was Arthur.

  "Is that a new style of vestment, Father?" he asked with a smile.

  Yaqub laughed as he looked down at his nightgown. "I didn't think I'd run into anyone. It's unusual for you to be here as well, Arthur," he said, sliding back into the familiar role of counselor that he carried for so long. "Especially at this time of night." He slid into the pew across the aisle from Arthur. "Is there something bothering you?"

  "I have a secret, Father. I actually come here late at night with some regularity. As I've gotten older, I often don't sleep well, and when I lie in bed at night, I sometimes start to dwell on my days as an adventurer. On the faces of the friends I lost along the way. I don't feel so alone here. Sometimes I imagine that they're sitting right behind me."

  "This house is always open to you, and all the good spirits that want to visit you. I'm happy you find solace here."

  "I have a second secret, Father. A darker one."

  "Go on."

  "I sit here and drink to their memories sometimes." He revealed a small flask that he had secreted in his palm, raised it, and took a drink.

  Yaqub couldn't help but laugh. "Well, if you're drinking with old friends, you'd better pass that over."

  "Father, I'm shocked," Arthur said as he passed Yaqub the flask. The two sat in companionable silence.

  "So why are you here at this time, Yaqub? "

  "I'm sorry."

  "I know you don't usually come here in the middle of the night, because I'd have run into you by now. So what's on your mind?"

  "I thought I was supposed to be the one who counsels people."

  "Not tonight."

  The silence that followed stretched for nearly a full minute. "I am conflicted about Sir Chuck."

  "Yes, I thought that would be the issue. He is a curious one, isn't he?"

  "Curious? He's a damned theological paradox, Light forgive me."

  "Go on."

  Yaqub frowned and attempted to gather his thoughts. Could he share Sir Chuck's secret? Would it be proper to do so? Was it proper to keep what he knew a secret? He longed for a simple answer that would show him the path forward.

  "He is a paladin of the Light, but there is darkness in his heart. I fear that by supporting him, I'd be leading us down the path of ruination. I've been hiding this from the council, couching it in terms of what is proper for a paladin to do, but that's all made-up bullgrix. Well, some of it anyway.”

  "Father! Such language in the chapel?"

  Yaqub smiled at his friend's friendly admonishment, then grew serious again. "I'm serious, Arthur. I'm afraid that he's trying to do the right thing, but will damn us in the process. Damn himself as well. I'm afraid that his protection will somehow hand us over to the Demon King. Thornwell village is a wonderful, peaceful place today. What will it look like in a year, or ten, if we surrender to Sir Chuck's request?"

  "I think your concern is legitimate."

  "You do?"

  "Yes. It's clear to me that Sir Chuck is exactly what he claims to be, a paladin of the light, but I've met men and women like him before. Some of the ghosts who visit me here were like him. Full of spit and vinegar and wanting to make the world a better place. The devil, as they say, is in the details. Whether Chuck does good or evil depends on the choices he still has to make. Same as with me, and same as with you, Father."

  Yaqub mulled the thought over.

  "Do you trust him?"

  "Yes. I believe that what he's told me about his wanting to keep the village safe from a demon attack is true. I also believe that for some reason, and this is more in your corner than mine, being officially named Lord Protector will help him achieve that."

  "Would you bet your soul on it?"