There was a flash of golden light.

  Instead of getting smashed against a tree, I flew through the branches of two saplings and landed in a juniper bush. How did I know it was juniper? Because that’s what you distil gin out of. Not relevant at the moment, but I logged it away for future reference.

  It was a minor miracle that I'd not hit something solid. I blinked at what stars I could see through the canopy and contemplated not moving ever again. I'd been hit by a car once, when I was out riding my motorcycle. That was nothing compared to this. Maybe if I'd gotten hit by a freight train, I'd have been ready for the gasha— gashi— for the demon midget skeleton that just cleaned my clock.

  I struggled back to my feet even as I could hear the sounds of fighting back in the graveyard. Well, perhaps not actually fighting. It sounded like everybody except Calista was trying to avoid getting hit by the thing while she taunted its size and challenged it to a test of strength.

  I fixed my grip on my shield, my shield that had saved my life and was now severely dented, and looked around frantically for my mace. It took me a few moments to realize that the lanyard had done its job and my mace was hanging from my wrist. Divine luck may have saved my bacon, but it didn't do anything to lessen the adrenaline dump I'd received. I told myself that was why my hand was shaking as I ran back to the fight.

  What a cluster brakk. Elanthe and Boots were dogging the heels of the three-foot skeleton while Calista circled it in a crouch. She circled, but the monster kept charging straight at her and missing. Not clever that one. More intelligent than my succubus, though, as she finally decided to lock up with her opponent and force him to submit to her greater strength. She locked hands with it, and for a split second, it looked like she might actually muscle it down to the ground before he threw her clear over the ruins of the church. I hope she was resilient, because health insurance was not part of the pay package. She had the good grace to look surprised as she flew away.

  I almost peeled off from my charge at the midget to make sure she was okay, but my big brain overpowered my little brain, and I maintained my course. It was well that I did because it caught Elanthe with a backhand that made her collapse bonelessly. Brave Boots stood defiant over her unconscious form, eyes glowing orange, but I knew that he couldn't save her. Only I could. I swung my mace with everything I had and connected solidly with the skeleton's rib cage.

  "Ho! That was a mighty blow," it said as it turned towards me. "Mighty indeed. Look." He pointed at a rib. "You managed to chip it. Well done. Now, let's see you try to do it again." He walked—walked! Towards me, and cracked his knuckles. I’ve seen that look before. He meant to brakk me up slowly.

  I braced my feet and got ready to hit him again, this time in the skull. I figured that if I smashed that, he’d be out of the game. My torso was ready to snap around, using my core muscles to power the blow instead of my arm. I wanted to end this before it hit me again. I struck its skull so hard that there was a flash of white when I made contact. It grunted once, even as I was wondering if that was some sort of paladin power or the mace was magical.

  Not that it mattered.

  I didn't even slow him down.

  He hit me again.

  This time, I was not saved from taking the full blow and slammed straight off his fist into the graveyard's stone wall. The breath was knocked out of me, and I made ineffectual wheezing sounds as I tried to get my feet back under me. I looked up just in time to see a bony backhand aimed at my face and get my shield up. My shield was ripped away and flew away somewhere. I was thankful my arm hadn't gone with it.

  It always chafed my ass when I got beat by a guy who was smaller than me, and I felt that resentment boiling up within me. I swung my mace again, but it just bounced off its leg. I did it a second time with no greater effect.

  "Weak. I was hoping you'd give me a real challenge, but you're no good." Ever hear a skeleton sigh? I wouldn't have thought it was possible, never mind the walking about and talking part. "Okay, time to end you, little paladin."

  Both of its hands shot forward simultaneously. Had I not had my back against the wall, he would have easily knocked me off my feet. Instead, his fingers pierced my chestplate and stopped just in contact with my skin. "Hunh. Holy armor. Nice." It curled its fingers and tore the breastplate in half, taking my shirt with it.

  I locked my eyes with his. Well, I stared into the dark, lifeless sockets where his eyes would have been had he been alive. I might not be able to meet death on my feet, but I was going to look him in the eye.

  Did you know that it was possible for a skull to look surprised?

  "Well, Boney, do what you need to do," I wheezed, defiant to the last.

  "Forgive me!" It dropped to its bony knees and pressed its head to the ground. "Forgive me, my lord! I did not know you were one of His Darkness's chosen. I would never have raised my hand to you if I'd have known."

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  To say I was at a loss for words was an understatement.

  "Oh, my lord. I am so sorry. Strike me down. Make me the object of your wrath. Purge this transgression from these bones. I beg of you."

  "Okay, just shut up for a minute." My mind raced. "What's your name?"

  "Name, my lord? I have none. I am Gashadokuru. I need no name."

  "Well, you're Gashi from now on. And if you want forgiveness, you're going work for me from now on, got it?"

  "Oh my lord," he ground his head into the ground. "You are so merciful."

  "You're going to go back to hell and wait there for my contract devil. You'll sign the contract, and then you'll belong to me."

  "You do me too much of an honor! I am not worthy to serve His Darkness, even as a servant of his servant." That chaffed, but I let it slide. "But if you insist, I will return to the infernal realms and await your minion."

  "You're not returning yet. I've got a job for you to do before you go."

  * * *

  Elanthe didn't know what was worse: when the sound came back, or the light did. She shook herself back to reality and tried to figure out where Sir Chuck had gotten a warm, wet rag to wipe her face with. Really warm. So hot it stung a little. She shook the fog out of her head and realized that Boots was licking her face.

  "Boots, not now. Not now, Boots." She struggled to her feet and looked around for her dagger. She had to get back into the fight. She had to help her lord out. She realized that she couldn't hear any fighting, and her heart sank. Had she failed already? The only people she saw were three of the village boys who'd been too afraid even to run, faces pale as the moon, looking out from around the edge of the church.

  "Hey!" she called out as she recovered her weapon and scratched Boots between the ears. "Hey, village boys. Over here. Where did they go?"

  One of them dared to poke his hand out and point to a corner of the graveyard that she couldn't see. She dropped into a hunting crouch, picked up her dagger, and made her way towards it as smoothly and silently as possible. She was almost there when the skeleton popped up and sailed over the wall, crashing into her and knocking her down.

  "Sorry about that. And earlier, too," it whispered as it rolled off of her and to its feet.

  Sir Chuck appeared a moment later atop the graveyard wall. His shield was gone, and his armor rent. He pointed his mace at the skeleton. "I will banish you back to the hell from which you emerged, demon."

  "Curse you, paladin, I will destroy you!" it bellowed. "Gashi, gashi!"

  * * *

  It took a great deal of restraint to avoid laughing at the look on Elanthe's face as Gashi rolled away from her. I couldn't blame the poor girl. A minute ago, this thing was trying to rip her head off, and now it was apologizing. If she wasn't clever enough to play along, at least I knew she'd keep fighting. Either way, it served my purpose.

  I leaped off the wall, and my mace smacked Gashi upside the head. He staggered into the wall and knocked it over, selling the blow. I followed him and delivered a series of strikes that bounced off his incredibly resilient bones and sent shockwaves up my arm. He understood his role, though, and acted as if each blow were a tremendous one. Each blow was actually a tremendous blow. Hard as I could hit him. Not hard enough to actually do any real damage to him, though.

  He took a few swipes at me, and after the first one connected and sent me sprawling, had the good sense to slow them down to where I could see them coming. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure he'd cracked one of my ribs getting that lesson. By the Light, he's strong.

  Calista appeared out of nowhere, her exercise outfit torn in such a way to hint at the goods that lay beneath without being indecent—well, too indecent by local standards. I couldn't believe that it was coincidental, but maybe that's just a quirk of succubus power. The idea that I should spend more time getting to know exactly what her powers were in minute detail, and have her give me a demonstration of them, was taking root in my head when I missed a block, and Gashi smacked me upside the head. I owed him a 'thank you' he'd never get for that.

  She didn't hesitate a moment when she saw me go down, but shrieked a terrifying sound and flew into the fray. Her glamour of being human almost slipped as she fell from the sky, her yellow eyes wide with vertical slits and claws extended from her fingers. I prayed to the Light that she wouldn't let her tail out. That would be hard to explain to the witnesses.

  The attack was so unexpected that she actually knocked Gashi down. She lifted him above her head and threw him into a headstone, which cracked under the blow. Gashi was on his feet instantly, but Calista was there and put him in a rear-naked choke.

  I don’t think a choke hold is really the best move against a skeleton, but it immobilized him sufficiently for Elanthe to run up and start jabbing her knife into his ribs. Again, maybe not the most effective technique against a skeleton, but I had to hand it to her for spirit. I'd see guys shivved in prison get stabbed fewer times than what she was delivering.

  I was back on my feet by the time Boots got a hold of Gashi's leg and started pulling on his femur. If Gashi hadn't had the strength of a hundred men, he'd have been well and truly in trouble, so it was time to end this performance.

  I lifted my mace above my head and stalked over to the scrum. "Demon begat of darkness, I rebuke you!"

  "No! No please! Don't send me back to hell."

  "You are banished from this place. With this holy mace and the Light infused in me, I send you back to hell!"

  Only when I swung the mace down on his skull did I notice that it was glowing. It left a trail of pure golden light that hung in the air for a second in the arc of the swing.

  I had just a moment to see terror in Calista's eyes as the mace came down. It landed on Gashi's skull with a crunch and definitely cracked it. He looked at me with surprised eye sockets. That blow had hurt.

  "You idiot," I hissed. "That was your cue. Now I have to hit you again."

  "Mercy! Don't send me back! I beseech you! No! Ahhhhh."

  I raised the mace again and brought it down a second time. This time, there was no glow, and I swear that he winked at me as it descended. This time, as soon as it made contact, his skull exploded into a cloud of fine white powder that coated us all even as the force of the explosion sent us flying.