The dream started shortly after I fell asleep.

  A forest of crystalline trees—white and dark purple—crackling with magic.

  The world sat in twilight, bright moonlight illuminating everything.

  I flinched from it hard.

  Then a man stepped into view, and I took a step back.

  Dragon.

  Magic dragon.

  Not the one who—

  This one wore a black suit and tie over a white dress shirt.

  Shoulder-length wavy black hair streaked with dark purple.

  Amethyst eyes studied me with unnerving calm.

  He didn’t get the reaction he was expecting.

  I could tell.

  He frowned and sighed.

  “Is any of the new Guardians going to react in the correct way?”

  He tapped his chest lightly.

  “I’m Damian Carmichael.”

  Talking.

  This required talking.

  I shook my head.

  That was not talking.

  Frustration coiled in my gut, and I started pacing.

  “You’re quieter than the last one, at least,” he said, watching me.

  Amethyst eyes.

  Magic flowing through me.

  Cruel laughter.

  My body reacted before thought caught up.

  I crouched down and covered my head, trembling.

  Not the same guy.

  Not the same guy.

  “Shit!” Damian snapped.

  “Breathe, Carl,” Chaos whispered.

  He was here.

  Well… one last thing I have to explain,” Damian muttered somewhere nearby.

  Hesitant footsteps approached.

  Men laughing.

  Men dying.

  My tongue loose and spilling everything.

  Couldn’t stop it.

  Couldn’t fight it.

  Information being dragged out of me.

  Breathing turned sharp and thin.

  Someone knelt beside me.

  Close.

  Careful.

  “Hey. Slow, deep breaths,” Damian said.

  His voice sounded miles away.

  “You can do it,” Chaos murmured.

  “I’m here. I won’t leave.”

  “Everyone is forced to leave,” I choked out.

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  My voice sounded too high. Not mine.

  “Can I rub your back?” Damian asked.

  I gave a jerky nod.

  Kathy used to do that.

  It helped.

  “No one can make me leave, Carl,” Chaos said—

  his tone fierce.

  “You’re mine.”“Death does,” I whispered—

  a sound more like a whine than a word.

  “Takes them all.”

  “I take it back,” Damian said as he rubbed slow, steady circles on my back.

  “Give me hyper Jack back.”

  Jack.

  “He’s gone too.”

  The circles faltered—just for a heartbeat.

  “You know Jack?” Damian muttered, then cursed under his breath.

  “Vicars. Of course. I’m a moron.”

  “Son.”

  The word scraped out of me.

  “Hey,” Chaos said gently. “Focus on his touch.”

  “I’m sorry about this, Chaos,” Damian said.

  “I just didn’t expect—”

  Not his fault.

  Broken me’s fault.

  Always is.

  “Other dragon,” I managed on a shaky breath.

  Steady pressure.

  Circles.

  Deep breaths.

  “Eyes like you.”

  “Eyes like mine?” Damian froze.

  Then he swore—sharp and bitter.

  “My brother. The one I had to kill.”

  Kill?

  He was dead?

  Not hunting me?

  Really dead?

  I lifted my head, trembling.

  “Dead?”

  Damian looked me straight in the eye.

  “Yes,” he said. “I had to put him down like the animal he was, because—”

  His eyes widened as something clicked.

  “Fuck.”

  He stared harder.

  “You were part of the unit he took out and killed.”

  He gawked at me.

  “How did you escape his magic?”

  I drew another deep, steadying breath.

  Rocking back and forth helped.

  “Just tried to be smart.”

  “Magic locks onto perceived identity,” Chaos said—and he sounded horrified.

  “You destroyed your identity so you could escape.”

  “Kathy needed me,” I whispered, still rocking.

  “Our baby would need me.”

  I swallowed hard.

  “Did what I had to. She knew.”

  They were both staring at me, and Damian swallowed hard.

  “And you’re the father of Jack?”

  I nodded.

  “Best decision,” I said, licking my lips.

  “He needed me.”

  Chaos made a strangled noise.

  “Um…” Damian grimaced. “It did work. But—how do you live like this?”

  “I survive.”

  That was all I ever did.

  “Jack is still alive,” Chaos cut in.

  “He’s the Guardian of Earth and heir of Order.”

  I blinked.

  “Robots took him.”

  “And he took out a whole lot of robots getting away,” Damian said, giving my arm a firm squeeze with his free hand.

  “He’s a strong leader.”

  “I know,” I said quietly.

  Raised him best I could.

  “And you’re a hell of a lot stronger than you know,” Damian said, staring at me.

  “No one could survive what you did.”

  I shrugged.

  “Did what I had to.”

  Breathing was getting easier.

  “Jack is okay?” I blinked at them.

  “More than okay.” Damian grinned.

  “Force of nature is what I’d call him.”

  Yeah.

  That was my Jack, all right.

  “Couldn’t give him my cage,” I said with a shudder.

  “Had to try not to imprison him.”

  “Might’ve tried to imprison him a bit more,” Damian chuckled.

  “He threw pop cans at robots and mooned an AI speaker.”

  A slight grin tugged at my lips.

  “I taught him to improvise.”

  I drew another shaky breath and eased back into a sitting position.

  “Was hard to do.”

  “Because for you everything has to be planned?” Chaos asked gently.

  I nodded.

  “So I taught him to fight planning and strategy by getting past me.”

  Breathing was easier now.

  Too easy.

  And dread crept in at how much I was talking.

  Talking was dangerous.

  Not talking had kept me safe.

  “I think you may have overachieved in that department,” Damian said.

  “Order definitely picked a fun one in this universe,” Chaos chuckled.

  Then I felt him brush against my mind—a gentle, warm caress.

  But I picked a special one.

  “Not special. Just broken,” I muttered.

  I glanced at the magic dragon.

  “Sorry about the meltdown.”

  “I really didn’t know what he did,” Damian said quietly.

  “But once I learned, all he became was a wild animal I had to put down.”

  “I’m safe?”

  My voice sounded too small.

  “Yes,” he said, nodding firmly.

  “His magic is gone, and I made sure his body will never be found. A disgrace to the Carmichael name.”

  Something cracked inside me—sharp, painful.

  “He made me reveal my unit’s location,” I whispered.

  “And laughed while I broke.”

  He made tears impossible.

  Made feeling hard.

  Made living harder.

  Damian gripped my shoulder—steady, warm.

  “You need to rebuild yourself. And I have a feeling Shadows and Chaos will help.”

  “Chaos won’t leave me alone,” I said.

  “Yeah. Not getting rid of me now,” Chaos growled affectionately.

  “See?”

  “Yeah, I see that,” Damian said with a tired grin.

  “I think we might actually have a chance at balancing things soon.”

  Exhaustion hit again.

  “I think I want to go back to sleep now,” I yawned.

  “Okay,” Damian sighed, long-suffering. “We’ll talk again. And if I can wrangle him, I’ll make sure you can talk to Jack. That boy is always too busy.”

  Yup.

  That was my boy.

  “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” He grinned, then frowned. “Bastard of a brother.”

  I smiled as I drifted back to sleep.