Distance

  You two were never meant to be… together.

  Easy for him to say.

  He wasn’t wrong. Still, the heart doesn’t listen to poor excuses.

  Would I be able to let go of her… forever?

  If we were rescued… would she stay with me?

  Would we start a family, like others my age did?

  Couples passed by—some with newborns, others hand in hand, love unconcerned with form or pairing.

  The way Aourine and I used to do it.

  I want to hold her hand once again.

  Besides those couples, there was my two-year-old brother, Batharalla, messing around. Rolling in the mud, trying to make pots and instead making a mess.

  Ougine was right; Batharalla is a menace.

  His brown locks got covered in the mud, and Ma would have to wash it again.

  It was fun seeing him thrash and wail when Ma washed him, like a feral creature dragged into water.

  Many villagers come to watch it.

  Two days had passed since my talk with Donttano. I hadn’t spoken to Aourine since—hadn’t even watched her work.

  His words lingered heavily in my mind, refusing to give me peace.

  While I was struggling, everyone else seemed to be living on, unknown to the doom awaiting us.

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  It was better to keep it a secret to avoid chaos. That is what Aourine said.

  Ten days left before Ma-Oktava’s raging heat would be unleashed, consuming us all.

  “Oh, you are back.”

  I nodded my head, walking around the table where she works at a distance.

  “You must be mighty busy not to visit your savior.”

  Savior?

  The word tasted wrong.

  She has changed.

  She wasn’t like this.

  She has never gloated before about being smarter than everyone.

  What has changed now?

  “I have been busy taking care of Ma.”

  “Yes. Your Ma is something.”

  She scoffed.

  My hands curled up.

  “Fa’s death has taken a toll on Ma.”

  “Of course.”

  She said it so casually as if a relative’s death had no meaning. How would she know the meaning of death when she has not lost anyone close to her since she was born?

  I wanted to say it, but I stopped myself.

  I didn’t want to be loved by her.

  I didn’t want a family with her.

  I forced myself to believe.

  Ten days left. And I was already losing her.

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