\|/ Turn 58, early light

  Something broke in my head.

  Even after writing, I couldn’t bring myself to look at Mik. I mimicked writing more just to avoid it.

  My arm started hurting less over time, settling into a strong ache.

  But my head replaced the pain.

  Horrible spasms, in time with my heartbeat. I tried ignoring it, but it got too painful.

  Dropping my journal, I clutched my head with my right hand. Every pulse felt like my head would pop.

  I cried, falling over myself and writhing on the ground.

  Mik crawled over and held its hand on my forehead, like when I was sick. Its hand was cold.

  Never in my life did I want anything to be cold, but it eased the pain. When Mik went to pull back, I grabbed the hand and put it on the side of my head again, where the pain had spread from.

  “Just let…”

  It was unbearable, but thank the Suns, it wasn’t constant. I don’t know how long it took, but it started easing, letting me think again.

  I let go of Mik’s hand and clutched my own tail. I held it so hard that it felt like I was about snap it in half.

  “Maya”

  …

  “Maya!”

  Mik nudged me, which made the world spin.

  I forced my eyes open.

  I saw that Mik was hunched over me, but its face was blurry. I could barely recognize it.

  The campfire behind it was blinding, despite it just being embers.

  Mik was trying to show me something in its journal, but I couldn’t even begin reading it.

  I felt my every breath, every movement. Every time my eyes twitched the campfire blinded me. It was overwhelming.

  Some semblance of thought returned to me.

  My head

  I dragged my hand on head to see if I had fallen on it. It was the only reason I could come up with for what was happening.

  But there was nothing. No broken scales, no blood. The side of my head felt completely normal.

  Mik would’ve noticed

  I had put its hand there. If I were bleeding, it’s hand would be covered in my blood. It would’ve noticed, even if I hadn’t at that moment.

  I closed my eyes again, squeezing my tail in time with my heartbeat to focus on anything else.

  It took more time, but I felt good enough to barely function again. It was probably only spans, but it felt like I had been on the ground for marks.

  I dragged myself to be sitting against the tree again. When I opened my eyes, I still felt overwhelmed, but I could see well enough to read what Mik had written.

  “Why Maya no good?! How help?!”

  I picked up the pen, using my left hand. I shouldn’t have been able to move it, especially without noticing, but I did.

  I wrote “Not know, no help”

  Mik read it, then said something aloud. Its face was still blurred, like my own mind was blocking that sight from me.

  Mik tapped its sentence again.

  “I don’t know!” I hissed out. The moment I did, another bout of agony came back, though shallower than the first time.

  I wrote “Why Mik?” and gave the journal back to it.

  Mik stared at the question, and then at me.

  Mik’s face started getting less blurry as I looked at it more. I wasn’t sure whether to be glad or not, since I could see that Mik was desperately unhappy.

  I shook my head, tapping the question again.

  “Please… just tell me that…”

  …

  Mik breathed in deeply, taking its journal from the ground.

  On the page Mik opened, there was a drawing. The outline of its body.

  The arms and legs were spread out, with organs sketched in the torso and abdomen. On its arms, there were small circles representing the fungal infection.

  The one which Mik had torn off had lines leading to the rest of its body.

  You’re thinking the same as me… You shouldn’t…

  I started shivering, feeling horribly cold.

  Mik tapped the lower part of its body, the abdomen. There were a bunch of overlapping lines there. It wrote “good” next to it.

  It then tapped between the abdomen and chest, where there was a large, oddly shaped organ and an oval one that had a line going to the mouth. It wrote “good” again.

  It tapped three organs in its chest. It scribbled “is good”

  It tapped its heart, frantically writing “is good!”

  And then it tapped the brain, writing “WHY NOT GOOD?!” and tearing with its pen.

  Mik went to throw its journal at the fire, but I managed to catch its arm in time.

  I gently moved Mik’s hand down. It let the journal fall to the ground.

  Even though Mik covered its face with both hands, I saw that it was crying.

  I enveloped it.

  And the last thing I remember was feeling cold.

  I woke up slumped against the same tree.

  …

  What happened…?

  My mind was blank. I remembered the scavenger, Mik’s blurry face, the drawing and feeling cold, but that was it.

  It was barely light. The red dwarf wasn’t in the sky yet.

  I went to bring my right hand up to rub my eyes, but I felt it was stuck.

  Mik was on it. Rather, it was wrapped around Mik’s back, pinned against the tree.

  “Sorry.” I whispered, struggling to get my arm out of the odd position. I held Mik up with my left arm, not realizing the action should’ve been painful, and pulled my right arm out.

  I leaned Mik against the tree again and tried to remember what had happened.

  I didn’t even feel sad or frustrated. I was just… confused.

  Some memories weren’t there, like why I had attacked the scavenger. I just remembered rage.

  …

  My knife!

  I tapped my pocket. It wasn’t there.

  Looking around, I saw that it wasn’t in the camp, either.

  I looked at Mik’s face. It was deep asleep, barely breathing.

  I’ll go find it, get some rest…

  Sorry for whatever I did…

  I stood up.

  And a wave of nausea crashed into me.

  I collapsed, gagging on the ground. My stomach felt like it had tangled in less than a moment.

  But I couldn’t vomit. That was the worst part. At least then, it would’ve passed.

  Instead, I had to endure.

  It felt like an eternity until I wasn’t dying on the ground anymore.

  Why?

  I wasn’t poisoned or overhydrated, since that would make my body get rid of it. This was randomly debilitating.

  After a few spans, the nausea passed completely. It took me a few more to recover.

  I stood up again, slower this time around. The nausea didn’t come back.

  …this shouldn’t be happening...

  Carefully, I made my way to the clearing, walking slowly in case I got sick again.

  I saw the spot where the scavenger had been. I felt uneasy just from looking at it.

  Avoiding where I… she…? Where we had stood and the scavenger’s spot, I searched around for my knife.

  Soon enough, I saw a glint in a bush, next to a tree.

  I went over and picked up the knife.

  Before I could have a second thought, I felt paralyzing fear.

  Not fear of what I would do with the knife. Not fear of myself.

  I felt pure terror that gripped my entire body.

  I couldn’t move. I knew that, at that moment, something would kill me if I did.

  And I stood frozen, holding and looking at my knife. I didn’t dare breathe.

  Slowly, so slowly, I angled the blade to reflect what was behind me.

  I didn’t see anything with the reflection.

  It knows I’m looking.

  Taking half a breath, I brought the knife closer and slowly turned my head just enough to see over my shoulder.

  I expected the scavenger with its tail coiling around my neck. The shadow enveloping me.

  Her.

  But there was nothing.

  Just the red sky behind me.

  Finally, I managed to turn around, pressing my back against the tree.

  I tried to breathe deeply but couldn’t. My chest refused to expand, and I was on the verge of suffocating.

  I fell to the ground, still holding my knife up defensively. I panted too quickly, desperately looking around. If so much as a leaf moved, I would’ve seen it.

  Nothing. Nowhere.

  I’m alone. I’m alone. I’m alone…

  It took me almost a mark to convince myself that.

  My lungs burned by the time I got up again.

  I snuck around, trying to find anything to tell me why I was so damn terrified. I felt watched while I did, like something was still there.

  I didn’t find anything.

  In the end, I silently went back to the cam and huddled next to Mik.

  I put my knife in my pocket but kept my hand on the hilt.

  “What’s happening to us?” I whispered to Mik. It snored.

  I’m still like this, pressed against it.

  I had to reread what I had written last dark to get some of the details to come back. If I hadn’t written it down, I wouldn’t know what had happened. Just the emotions.

  Ever since I woke up, there’s been pressure in the side of my head, too. My arm doesn’t hurt at all, it just feels stiff. I’ve been using it the entire early light without realizing.

  I would rather my arm still hurt. I had gotten used to that.

  …

  I wanted to check on Mik’s arms but can’t do so without waking it up. The paste has dried up, and I can’t get it off without waking Mik up.

  …

  I pray the growths aren’t there. We need at least one of us to be partially sane.

  \|/ Turn 58, midlight

  Mik’s going to have to be the sane one.

  Mik woke up about a mark after my writing. I’ll admit, I nudged it until it woke up.

  I felt bad about doing it, but I was starting to worry Mik wouldn’t wake up. I just… couldn’t handle the thought.

  “Hey!” I hissed, forcing a smile when Mik looked at me.

  The flesh underneath its eyes was a deep grey, as bad as when it hadn’t slept at all.

  “Sorry” I whispered, bringing over its bottle.

  Mik drank the remaining water and took a bit more time to wake up.

  I wrote “Mik good?”

  It brought its shoulders up and down, making another gesture afterwards. Something like a nod, but only up once.

  I’m starting to think that’s either uncertainty or you’re trying to annoy me.

  I added “arm?”

  Mik looked at its arms, which were still covered in paste.

  It tried rubbing one of the spots but didn’t manage to get it off.

  I brought the bowl over and took its right arm. I looked at it for confirmation, but Mik didn’t give any reaction, just staring at the bowl.

  “Please be better…”

  I poured a bit of water onto a spot on a lower part of its arm. The paste liquified, and I rubbed it off with the back of my hand.

  I felt the disgusting fuzzy texture of the growth, which made me feel dreadful.

  But when I got the paste off, the growth underneath was less than half the size it used to be, and almost completely grey.

  A genuine smile broke out as I looked at its face expectantly.

  After so long, Mik’s face was something other than sadness. Its eyes widened in surprise.

  Mik snatched its arm and the bowl from me and poured more water over its arm. It then frantically started cleaning the other spots.

  The same result was there. The grey leaf had actually worked.

  “Hahahaha! Suns tha-“

  Mik then… did something that convinced me I wasn’t dreaming, at least, since I or she couldn’t possibly come up with whatever it did.

  Mik, while sitting, enveloped me normally, and then… hit me(?) with its mouth against the side of my face.

  “Wah-!?”

  When I yelped and squirmed, Mik let go, making me fall backwards from my crouch.

  I caught my fall with both of my arms. Again, no pain in the left. I felt prickling along the entire length, but it was nothing compared to what it used to be.

  Too confused to begin understanding what Mik had done or why my arm wasn’t in agony, I sat back up, looking at Mik.

  It had stood up and was pacing around, its head hidden in its hands.

  “What was that??”

  Mik looked at me, moving one hand towards me, revealing half of its very red face. It started doing wild gestures to try and explain.

  It brought one hand towards me, shaking its palm at me.

  Mik quickly moved it away when I brought my up tail to tap it.

  Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  Ok…?

  It then made an exasperated gesture at a nearby tree, yelling something.

  “Are you ok?” I asked, trying and failing not to giggle.

  Mik took its journal, quickly writing “Sorry! Thank! Sorry sorry!” and handing it to me, its face so red at that point that I was afraid Mik had damaged it from touching mine, somehow.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Mik made the air taste like pure nervousness, and it showed as much. I think the gesture was supposed to be nice, but it ended up being more insane than some of mine.

  I wrote “revenge for arm lick?”, showing it to Mik. It tapped the word “lick”.

  How did I teach you ‘revenge’, and not lick?

  …Or are you just guessing?

  I licked the air above my arm to demonstrate.

  It shook its head, quickly writing “NO!!!” and yelling the same in its language.

  “Sure it wasn’t!” I laughed more.

  I felt like the turn before hadn’t happened with how responsive Mik suddenly was. If I hadn’t had to search for the knife, I could’ve convinced myself it was all one of my many bad dreams.

  Mik sat down after a while, still not looking at me from embarrassment. I went over and got the rest of the paste off its left arm. As a joke, I bumped my head against its face one more time.

  It did not like that.

  However, as I cleaned, my smile faded when I got to the growth that had grown over the wound.

  For a moment, with all our joking and silliness, I had forgotten what had started all of this.

  Even Mik looked over its shoulder when I rubbed that bit of dried paste off.

  But…

  It was better.

  Just like every other one, it had shrunk. It was still covering the entire wound, so we couldn’t see how it looked underneath, but it wasn’t growing around the surrounding flesh anymore. I couldn’t taste Mik’s blood in the air, which at least meant that the shrinking fungus wouldn’t give Mik an infection.

  Maybe… maybe your flesh regrew underneath. Maybe we’re being dramatic…

  As I stared at it, lost in thought, Mik tapped my shoulder. I looked at it, and Mik nodded, smiling slightly.

  I smiled back.

  “You’re going to be alright.”

  Mik took some time to completely wash its arms off. The paste was useful, but I knew how odd it felt on my scales.

  I had gotten up and was looking at the clearing, thinking about why my arm wasn’t hurting.

  Did I fall on my head…?

  But I reached the same inconclusion when I first thought of that.

  I should have far more drastic problems if I fell on my head hard enough to make it so that my brain rewired how I felt pain. I still couldn’t feel an injury there, either.

  I guess… I guess it’s a good thing.

  The pressure in my head had faded at that point, and I wasn’t one to complain about feeling better, at least physically.

  The fear, though… That wasn’t normal.

  “Maya” Mik hissed.

  “Mik” I hissed back, smiling at it.

  It came over to me and handed me its journal, which was slightly damp.

  “Don’t ruin it.” I groaned to Mik, tapping the outer part. It moved its hand forward in some gesture.

  I scoffed and read what Mik had written.

  “What do now turn?”

  I looked at Mik’s arms again. Despite being far better, Mik would need more medicine than we could make with the leftover leaves. I would like to get the fungus off my claws as well.

  We’ll go to the streams…

  Though, as usual, we had to get water first. Mik’s way of functioning made that a per-turn chore.

  But food…

  Food would be complicated, with the net being partially broken.

  In no scenario was I going to risk using it before we repaired it.

  And I had used all the fungal vines near the camp to make it, which meant we’d have to go to the streams before we hunted.

  I opened the map in Mik’s journal and tapped the grass valley, and then the streams.

  Mik tapped FOOD, tilting its head.

  I shook my head, giving the journal back and going to the camp.

  I held up the net for Mik to see, tapping the area with the missing connection.

  Mik came over, having written “when do not good?”

  …

  You really didn’t notice anything last turn…

  I wrote “Maya fell water, accident”

  Mik read and reread it, its eyes widening.

  I quickly added “short, Maya good, need net fix”

  It lightly enveloped me for a moment and went to prepare for the trips.

  Getting the water was uneventful. I was happy to have it talk nonsense back to me as we walked, instead of staring blankly. I even tried mimicking some of its speech. That, of course, didn’t go well at all.

  I still felt bothered with how much Mik’s attitude had changed in two turns, though.

  I can’t explain why it had gotten so depressed for one turn, and then immediately got better the next. Just like how I can’t explain why my arm hurts less.

  But I’m not going to question it anymore. Something semi-good happened to both of us. Just like something bad had. Inexplicability is the curse of this planet, and you go mad if you try to understand it.

  When we got back to the camp, Mik left the bowl there, and I picked up the net. We immediately continued towards the streams, the time still quite a bit before midlight.

  As we walked, I noticed the scavenger’s taste in the air.

  Oh.

  Immediate dread crawled up my scales. It hadn’t followed us to the streams before, and I still wasn’t over last turn.

  Mik was talking when I stopped it mid-sentence with a slightly louder hiss.

  I took out my journal and wrote “bird here again”

  Mik got silent, it’s smile disappearing.

  It crouched in front of me, writing “Maya?”

  I wrote “good”

  It watched me for a moment before nodding.

  Mik got up, and we continued walking.

  It held its hand on my shoulder as we walked. I couldn’t be sure if it was holding me in case I started running towards the scavenger, or if it was trying to be nice to me.

  I looked back at Mik.

  And then at my pocket.

  Maybe… maybe I should give this to you…

  I knew I wasn’t going to do anything to the scavenger, but I was tired of hiding things from Mik, so I decided to give the knife to it for safekeeping.

  The moment I felt the hilt; the fear came back.

  Don’t stop walking don’t stop walking don’t stop walking

  I took a deep breath, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

  Mik must’ve felt when I started shaking. I felt its gaze linger to my hands.

  It immediately snapped to action, gripping my hand that was still in the pocket with both of its hands.

  We stopped. Mik held my hand in that position, breathing deeply.

  “please… don’t…” I rasped.

  Mik held tightly, not allowing me to move. Its breathing became erratic, from the mouth, and it slowly shook its head while staring into my eyes.

  I’m not…

  I looked back into its eyes, struggling to breathe.

  With my left arm, I took its hands and tried moving them away. It didn’t budge.

  I felt myself getting dizzy. I would collapse if I didn’t get rid of the knife soon.

  I put my left hand on Mik’s face and pushed.

  It tried fighting back but started losing its grip.

  I gave a strong shove and took a sharp step backward at the same time. Mik lost balance, and I managed to get the knife out.

  Mik’s took a step back. The air tasted of pure fear and adrenaline.

  It held it’s hands up, crouching slightly. Like I was an afraid animal.

  “I-I won’t…”

  I could barely hear what I was hissing. All that I knew that Mik was genuinely afraid of me.

  I turned the knife around slowly, handing the hilt to Mik.

  It took a careful step forward and snatched it from me.

  I fell to my knees, finally able to breathe. I didn’t see what Mik did with the knife.

  It crouched in front of me, holding me tightly by my shoulders.

  Its shaking hands fumbled in my pocket, struggling to take the journal out.

  Mik wrote “Maya good?”

  I’m not.

  I shook my head, writing “Maya no monster!”

  Mik took a deep breath after it read that. It went to write something, but I blocked its pen with my hand.

  “Why would you think that?” I hissed, barely audible.

  “Why?!”

  Mik squeezed my shoulders again. It hurt.

  Why did it think I was going to hurt it? Why would it think that?!

  I cried when I enveloped it.

  Mik gently returned the gesture.

  Please don’t be scared of me… please…

  I let go, looking at it.

  A moment later, I wrote “Please trust Maya no monster. No hurt Mik. Ever.”

  It read it and smiled slightly. It wasn’t a real smile.

  Mik then brought its closed hand up. I tapped my tailend against it.

  I don’t remember when we got to the streams. I was constantly replaying the scene in my head.

  It didn’t bring out its hatchet to defend itself. Even when it thought I was going to stab it.

  It thought I was going to hurt it.

  Mik doesn’t trust me.

  We’re resting at the streams now.

  Mik’s sitting next to me, writing something in its journal. I want to try telling it I was trying to give it the knife, but it wouldn’t believe me.

  I don’t want it to think I’m lying. Not when I’m being honest for first time.

  I never thought it would come to this. To the point where my only friend…

  It’s better I don’t have the knife. I’d rather get eaten than have Mik be afraid of me.

  \|/ Turn 58, dark

  What I write in this journal is not what happens in the real world.

  I’m not sure whether Mik wanted to rest because of me or itself. It took a long while before it tasted calm again, and I felt it’s gaze on me while I wrote. Like I was hiding something.

  Maybe a mark later, I wrote “Maya good. Go find?”

  Mik’s face twitched when it read “good”. It forced a smile and nodded.

  I sighed deeply, getting up and going further into the streams. Mik followed me.

  …

  I felt Mik staring into my back as I walked.

  …

  Cautious.

  …

  Afraid of me.

  I’m not doing this.

  I turned around to tell it we were going to split up.

  Mik flinched, bringing its hands up. From me. Turning around.

  It took physical effort not to scream at it at that moment.

  But I stayed silent, despite my tail thrashing behind me.

  Instead, I pulled out my journal, furiously writing “Maya go, Mik no go with Maya, Maya and Mik find later here”

  Mik read it and shook its head slowly.

  It started grabbing the journal to write something. I didn’t give it the opportunity.

  I wrote “Just leave me alone.”

  I gave the journal to Mik, turned around and left.

  It didn’t follow me that time.

  It was rude. It was horrible to say after everything we’ve been through.

  But Mik being jumpy around me, like I was an accident waiting to happen…

  I knew why Mik was like that. I would’ve been careful in Mik’s position.

  But I needed a break from it. Just a few marks for both of us to get back to normal, or at least as normal as can be.

  I saved your life… You saved mine…

  And now, it didn’t trust me with either of our lives.

  I wandered around the streams for a while, not paying attention to where I was going. I felt nauseous again, so I had to slow down.

  It was probably hunger, even though I didn’t feel hungry. Obviously, I don’t feel properly anymore.

  At some point, I meandered towards the grey plant.

  …Guess I can clean up.

  “Be more ‘presentable’” I muttered, looking at my tattered clothes, dirty scales and infected claws.

  I crouched by the plant, pulling a lower leaf out and dipping my claw in the black liquid.

  It hardened and constricted, tugging at my claw. I waited for a few moments.

  …

  It made a loud crack.

  I scraped my claw against a tree to take it off. The irony of acting feral didn’t miss me.

  I looked around myself to see whether Mik was there to taunt me. It wasn’t.

  When I managed to scrape it off, the claw underneath was almost completely clean.

  I repeated the process fourteen more times. I decided to do it once more to fully get rid of it.

  I’m glad I did. I felt cleaner, even if a tiny bit was left between my fingers.

  It was also unusually calming. I never got why some Scale would buy scratching wood instead of trimming their claws, but after everything with Mik, it actually helped me relax.

  When I finished with the treatment, I picked a few of the upper leaves for Mik this dark. The good news being that the plant started regrowing in the places where I had picked it last turn.

  Everything here is on super speed…

  It made sense, since it was already noticeably colder than, say, five turns ago.

  But that meant another snow was coming. I didn’t want to think of that just yet.

  With a handful of leaves, I continued searching for the fungal vines.

  I managed to find some berries that I remembered seeing some time ago. I picked the good ones.

  Again, my left arm didn’t hurt from carrying them. I know I keep writing about how it doesn’t hurt, but it’s just not normal. My arm didn’t suddenly heal overnight, and I still can’t figure it out.

  …

  After a mark or two, I finally saw what looked like a fungal vine from afar, hanging between two trees.

  “Took long enough.”

  I started walking towards it, carefully jumping over a stream.

  But as I got closer, the world… dimmed.

  …Cloud?

  I looked up, but couldn’t see whether that was the case through the canopy. I continued walking.

  It got even darker. My eyes defocused, making the vine look farther away.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

  It’s not dark.

  I felt the torch in my grip. I squeezed the wood.

  It’s not dark.

  I felt the warmth of it. I focused on breathing.

  It’s not dark.

  …

  …

  I opened my eyes. It was light again.

  I waited for a few more moments, breathing deeply and looking around myself.

  Everything was normal.

  I can control it. I can control myself.

  I felt a moment of hope.

  …Until I looked at my left hand.

  It was beyond sticky, the berries there having been crushed into a pulp.

  “Real presentable.” I sighed.

  Fortunately, since it was a small pile I had held against myself, a bunch had fallen onto the ground when everything got darker.

  I picked those up and continued towards the vine, grumbling about holding the torch in my other arm next time.

  I put the remaining berries and leaves on the ground, struggling to cut the vine using my claw.

  “Should’ve kept…”

  …

  Finally, I managed to get the vine off.

  It was slightly yellower than the other ones, probably not the exact same type, but it felt equally durable in my grip.

  I tasted the air around it to make sure,

  and got completely sidetracked when I tasted Mik near me.

  Looking around myself, I couldn’t see it.

  You hiding from me?

  I was about to get really, really angry, until I peeked around the tree and saw it walking in the open.

  “Mm.”

  …

  I thought about being alone for just a bit longer, but I knew Mik was probably hungry at this point. Even if I didn’t feel hunger, I wasn’t going to let Mik starve.

  “Mik!” I hissed, flailing my arm at it while leaning around the tree.

  Mik saw me and smiled widely. An excited smile. It then frantically motioned for me to come over.

  I picked up the berries, leaves and the vine, and went over to Mik.

  When I got there, Mik stared at my very filthy left hand, its face turning to worry.

  “I didn’t kill anything.” I hissed, less than amused, and mimicked falling. I even dropped a berry and stepped onto it to show the colour it made against the grass when crushed.

  Mik realized what I meant, and it smiled, shaking its head. It then took the vine off my shoulder tangling its legs up on purpose.

  “Ha, ha.”

  It tapped my tail with its free hand and immediately motioned for me to follow again.

  Leading me into a bush, it motioned for me to crouch again. I tilted my head, wondering what in the warm suns it wanted to do there.

  Mik just did the same gesture again, putting the vine on the ground afterwards.

  I did it this time around, feeling slightly unwell. I tasted the air reflexively.

  The scavenger was there.

  I put everything down and wiped my hand off the grass. I tried to take out my journal before remembering how I had walked off from Mik.

  Mik put it in front of me, having written “see, bird friend funny”

  Thanks for taking care of it…

  Also, what?

  Mik separated some leaves, and I saw the scavenger in a clearing.

  It was staring intensely at the stream between us and it.

  And I had to admit; it was a bit funny to see.

  The scavenger was literally unmoving, staring at the water like it was its sole purpose in life.

  Mik wrote “here so long, no fish” and gave me the journal, still smiling.

  I looked back at the scavenger. I couldn’t read its face, but the tail behind it was twitching. It was annoyed.

  Well well well. When I’m not catching pisca for you…

  I sat down, watching the poor animal stare at flowing water.

  Until it struck.

  Both Mik and I flinched, even though we weren’t the targets.

  The scavenger’s entire head was in the water, with its massive tail flailing around to keep balance.

  And it managed to get something out.

  Something that definitely wasn’t a pisca:

  A very, very unfortunate diver.

  What ensued was pure chaos.

  The scavenger, holding the diver by the neck, thrashed around, probably not understanding what was happening. The diver, frilling loudly, slapped the scavenger with its wings and legs repeatedly.

  Mik started laughing loudly. I couldn’t help but join in.

  The scavenger was not meant for hunting divers. It wasn’t trying to crush the neck or anything, probably lacking that kind of strength.

  In the end, the diver managed to break out of the scavenger’s grasp after a lot of struggling. It left one very sassy slap on the scavenger’s snout with its wing before flying off.

  It took a while for Mik and I to stop laughing. Mik was literally on the ground at the end of it.

  When I calmed down, I looked back at the scavenger. It was back at the water; its tail was thrashing behind it at this point.

  It wasn’t giving up.

  Mik started getting up to leave. I pulled it down to crouch again.

  I took out my journal and wrote “Maya go give eat”

  Mik read it, looked at the scavenger and then looked back at me again. It was not happy with the idea.

  I added “Maya no hurt. Please, Mik.”

  It looked at me for a few more moments. I couldn’t move my face as it could to convey it, but I was begging it.

  I offered it my tail.

  Mik closed its eyes.

  …

  It tapped my tail and nodded quickly once.

  I put my journal on the ground before it in case something happened. Taking a few of the berries, I snuck out of the bush, towards the scavenger.

  The scavenger almost immediately saw me when I got out. I had made maybe two steps before its head snapped to me, its eyes focusing on my every movement.

  I slowly went towards it, looking it in its round eyes, which were far too similar to Mik’s.

  “Listen, I know what I almost did to you…”

  I hopped over the stream. The scavenger flinched slightly.

  “But I saved you, too…”

  I got closer.

  “And you’re already eerily smart, so you know that.”

  The scavenger didn’t move as I got closer. Its tail was perfectly still. I’m not sure whether it was breathing.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I gently tossed the berries at its legs.

  Its eyes followed them flying to the ground and snapped back to me afterwards.

  …

  It quickly ate them, still staring at me.

  “There… we’re still friends.”

  …

  …

  I went prone and started to crawl towards it.

  I felt tiny compared to in that position, which I was. But I wasn’t afraid.

  The scavenger didn’t try to move back or hiss at me.

  “I won’t hurt you.” I whispered, showing it my open hands.

  Slowly, I managed to get to the scavenger side.

  Its head was tilted towards me, but the body was in the same position. It hadn’t moved its arms or tail.

  Extremely gently, I put my arm on its cloak.

  Suns, it was so warm and soft.

  And I felt happy.

  The scavenger didn’t pet itself against me or anything, but it wasn’t aggressive either. It was more than I could’ve expected than myself.

  It trusted me.

  Or at least I thought it did.

  Mik got out of the bush, hopping over the same stream.

  “Don’t scare it!” I whispered to Mik, my hand still pressed in the soft cloak.

  What surprised me was how casually Mik approached me.

  I stared in silent terror as it walked right up to me.

  Mik stared at me for a few moments. Its face was filled with worry.

  And then it wrote “what Maya do?”

  …

  I looked back at the scavenger.

  It wasn’t there. My hand was in the air, grasping nothing.

  …

  “I-I-I”

  The berries…?

  I looked to the ground. They weren’t there.

  I gestured for the journal. Mik handed it to me.

  I wrote “When… leave?”

  Mik wrote “When Maya go”

  It mimicked my crawling.

  I wrote “Did eat??”

  Mik nodded.

  …

  I stopped myself from laughing. Barely.

  If Mik wasn’t there, I would’ve. Mik would’ve tied me up if I had.

  We’re at the camp now. Everything after that is missing from my mind.

  Mik’s sleeping, its arms are covered in more grey paste.

  The scavenger’s here.

  I’m not hungry, and the net’s fixed. I don’t remember eating, nor do I remember fixing the net. The knots on it are mine, though.

  I think I was in a trance after the scavenger. I’m just here now.

  Mik should just tie me up.

  \|/ Turn 58, very late dark

  I have to take my life back.

  I didn’t go to sleep after writing, feeling frustrated with losing marks of my life. I wasn’t comprehending the world after the scavenger.

  I was basically dead while walking.

  I don’t want that. I don’t want to live without remembering any of it, except for the nightmares.

  Whatever’s going on in my head, I don’t fucking want it. I’d rather cut off my arm than have it not hurt and have my life pass me.

  I needed to come clean with Mik.

  It already knew I was mentally lost, but the game of “No, I swear I’m fine” is stupid. The more I say “Maya good”, the more Mik will think I’ll stab it in its sleep.

  Especially when I’m petting the air in front of it.

  I nudged Mik awake, for the second time this turn.

  “Hey, Mik, I’m sorry…” I whispered, trying to be gentle, “but we need to talk.”

  Mik snapped awake, immediately turning towards me.

  …right.

  It was the dead of dark, with even the fire having gone out. Disturbing to say the least, and Mik wouldn’t be able to read whatever I wrote.

  I really should’ve started the fire before this.

  I sighed, getting up and adding some wood to the dying embers. I barely managed to get it to burn after blowing into it.

  When I turned around, Mik was standing a few steps behind me, confused and alert.

  “Sorry.” I hissed again, motioning for it to sit.

  It looked my hands for a moment and sat down when it saw they were empty.

  We definitely need this talk.

  I pulled out my journal, and wrote “Sorry”

  Mik nodded, still rubbing its eyes. It wrote “Maya good?”

  “No, need talk”

  …

  Mik waited for me to continue. I struggled to come up with the right words.

  I bluntly wrote “Mik no trust Maya at all. Maya understand why, but can’t go on”

  Mik shook its head.

  “Look, I-“ I started hissing, then went back to writing “Mik too careful. Think Maya hurt Mik”

  Mik exhaled deeply writing “Almost hurt Mik”

  …

  “… Yeah… I almost did…”

  I wrote “Know. Sorry sorry sorry. Maya scared, Mik sneak on”

  Mik rubbed its face and wrote “Is ok, no ow”

  “Is not ok, Maya almost ow, understand why Mik afraid, but Maya no hurt on purpose. Ever.”

  Mik looked at me. Really looked me up and down, despite the fact I was sitting next to it.

  It then smiled and wrote “Maya scary, even if small”

  I chuckled, though the joke stung.

  Before I could write something, Mik tapped where I wrote I wasn’t good.

  “Yeah…” I hissed.

  I wrote:

  “Maya… not good. Not know why, just more not good.

  Maya dream. Bad. Then Maya awake.

  Now Maya dream awake.”

  Mik read what I wrote and shook its head. It tapped “awake” and “dream”.

  Oh Suns how do I explain this…

  I know it dreams, since it sometimes mumbles in its sleep, but the word itself is abstract.

  I tapped “dream”, and then mimicked sleeping, tapping my head and hissing a bit of nonsense with my eyes closed. When I looked at Mik, it nodded.

  For awake, I repeated a mimicry of waking up a few times. It nodded again.

  Mik wrote “Know Maya see when not, why?”

  I’m surprised you don’t, at this point.

  I wrote “Maybe from ow, don’t know, not important. Arm no ow, no remember. Not good.”

  Mik tilted its head.

  I wrote “Not know what happen” next to remember.

  Mik’s taste immediately turned to pure stress. It wrote “?? When from?”

  I wrote “This turn, after bird friend”

  …

  “Not know?”

  I nodded and wrote “what Maya do?”

  Mik breathed out once, writing “Mik Maya angry”.

  It added “not know word” under the empty space.

  I added “think”, and then wrote “Why? What Maya do??”

  Mik wrote “Not do, just not talk. Maya Mik walk. Eat. Help net and Mik. Maya not look at Mik”

  …

  I wrote “Where look?”

  Mik stared blankly in front of itself for a few moments, then looked back at me.

  …my brain shut down.

  I tried remembering what had happened but still wasn’t able to. I could only vaguely picture what I was doing, but that wasn’t memory.

  Still, I felt slightly better from actually knowing what I had and hadn’t done. At least I wasn’t starving without realizing.

  When I went to write something again, Mik tapped “Arm no ow”.

  It was breathing weirdly, taking oddly deep breaths with breaks in them.

  I shook my head, focusing on the question, tapping my left arm.

  Mik wrote “Good, no?”

  “It’s not normal.” I hissed, writing the same. I added “Not more good, just no ow after last turn”

  I brought my arm up. It felt stiff, but the grinding sensation of using it was missing.

  I wrote “do” and mimicked hitting my arm.

  Mik’s expression turned to confusion, its breathing normalizing slightly, and it shook its head.

  I tapped “do”

  Mik, seeing I wasn’t going to let it go, gently tapped my arm.

  “Harder” I hissed, tapping “do”

  Mik hit my arm gently.

  Nothing. I barely felt anything.

  “Come on!” I hissed loudly.

  Mik closed its fist and hit my arm.

  And I felt no pain. Just pressure. Even my healthy arm would’ve hurt from that.

  I shook my head, bringing my arm down.

  Mik looked surprised, taking the journal to write something. Instead, it stared at the page.

  After a few moments, it wrote “Not know why. Sorry.”

  Me neither…

  We sat in silence for a few moments.

  I wrote “Maya ask Mik do something”

  Mik did the upward head gesture once.

  “Mik write what happen during turn. Please. Maya no good when not know.”

  I added “Scare Maya if not know.”

  I looked at Mik again. Mik looked back at me. Its breathing got worse again.

  It wrote “Please not forget” and began to cry.

  “Whoa, hey, what? I’m sorry!” I hissed frantically, enveloping it.

  I didn’t expect that reaction at all. It cried for so long.

  I felt horrible for telling it that. If I knew it was going to be so hurt from it, I would’ve reconsidered.

  “I’m here.” I hissed. It pressed tightly against me.

  Did something happen??

  It took a long time until Mik stopped crying. It only wrote “Sorry, Mik do write” after that, ignoring when I wrote “why not good??”

  I’m not sure if Mik’s species… stops remembering. It was really disturbed.

  Mik’s acting like it’s sleeping now, even though its breathing is still off. I’m trying to calm it down by pressing against it.

  I had to ask it to write for me. I didn’t know it would react that way.

  I won’t stop remembering. For Mik. I’ll write everything down if I have to.

  I’ll remember you.