"is this yours? " the voice filled with mock disdain said

  It belonged to a female student who had just entered the girl's bathroom

  I was focused on the occupied stall infront of me but that sentence caught my attention

  The weird situation about the student in the stall isn't something I should think about now

  What was more important was how my sister managed to get the hairpin I so safely guarded

  I thought back to try to remember if I left it lying carelessly around somewhere

  But I was sure I kept it relatively hidden

  Unless it fell out when my roommates hit me this morning

  They were rougher than usual

  Something about one of their friends getting sick so they attributed it to me

  Somehow it became my fault because I washed her gym clothes due to the washing machine being damaged

  Your germs got on her; they said

  "Ah..yes..so please give it back" I was hesitant as I said this

  It felt weird to claim something as 'mine' especially infront of my sister

  "Yours, since when is something yours" her eyes started at me

  "Give it back " I said so for the first time in a long time

  "What did you just say to me, Onee-san" she emphasized the sister

  I flinched at the mention of that title, it always meant something bad was going to happen

  "I thought you just told me what to do but that can't be possible right Onee-san" her eyes squinted at me

  "No..I didn't mean to..I just need that hairpin" I immediately panicked and gave in

  "You make it sound like it was a mistake but I clearly heard you say you need the hairpin" her tone was casual as she said this but I understood her meaning

  Is there really something I "need" enough not to satisfy my younger sister

  Me....really

  And yet my mouth kept trying to make excuses

  "No..no.. it's just that something so old and worn out shouldn't be in the hands of my beautiful sister"

  "Sister" she sounded very disgusted at my choice of words

  " No..no.. you're definitely not my sister, how could someone like you ever be my sister" I hurriedly said

  "It's just that the hairpin is something unworthy of being worn by someone in the Mori family "I also tried to dissuade her more

  It really is very old and rusty but it was a gift from my dead grandmother

  If holds a lot of sentimental value

  " Hmm but old garbage is the style nowadays"

  "You know recycling is the new world order" my sister said playfully

  "This is worse than garbage so why don't I give you something better" I said

  "Is there anything you have that isn't already mine" she replied

  "I'll work more jobs and get you into clubs" I compromised

  I always hated working in clubs because the customers there are usually too touchy

  When I gathered enough courage to tell the boss

  I was slapped and scolded to tears

  I was too scared to go back the next day and from then on, I couldn't even walk on the same street that had the club

  I work everywhere else though and my hours are stretched to the limit

  "No need, I can easily get into clubs myself" she said

  Then why did you force me to work at a club saying that you wanted to get in without our parents knowing

  Are you saying that you didn't need me to work there but you just wanted to watch me be uncomfortable everyday

  Come to think of it, with my appearance it wouldn't have been so easy to work at such a high end club

  Did you plan this all along

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  I thought about it and figured that the possibility of it being true was 80%

  And after realizing this, I was angry

  But I said nothing because that's part of who I am

  I can't argue with someone if I'm wronged or let myself get angry at the injustice

  " Are you still hesitating Onee-san"

  "It seems like you've been feeling too comfortable away from your family and now you've abandoned us"

  "That's quite sad, I thought you would be working hard for Mom and Dad "

  "But this little freedom has made you selfish"

  "Mom and Dad would be disappointed"

  She was right

  Mom and Dad who had done so much for me by still letting me in the family would be disappointed

  Especially after they took the time to look me in the eyes when they came to visit my sister at school

  It was from far away and the eye contact lasted only a minute but it happened

  And now I might ruin it due to my selfishness

  Though in my heart I don't think of myself as selfish for wanting to keep something that is dear to me

  Something that represents the year of happiness at my grandma's house when Japan still existed

  The memory is very vivid and it's a form of reward that my body gives me in the form of dreams when my mind tells me I can't take it anymore

  Those times I get headaches from overworking

  Or I get nosebleeds

  Or my boss starts to touch me inappropriately and I don't dare to tell the police until I run away

  The times my bones feel like they're about to break from overuse

  Those days are when I dream of that condo with the peony garden and the sound of laughter from my parents

  The times my disease hadn't manifested and I was still human

  The times my parents didn't look at me with disgust and embarrassment

  The times I was actually happy

  Sometimes I wish I had died during that earthquake with Grandma

  Sometimes I wish I could have stood in place as I watched the water flood through the area

  Sometimes I wish I could have died from exhaustion but I wake up every time I pass out

  I realized that I had a lot of wishes in the depth of my heart that I didn't face till I lost what I considered precious

  " I was just joking sister" I said with a smile uglier than crying

  "You're really funny Onee-san but jokes like that can be dangerous" she said as she kept the hairpin in her pocket

  I watched the hairpin disappear into her pocket and felt more and more that my wish to be fulfilled

  "Don't worry I have a suitable way to make sure that this joke doesn't happen again" she smiled a sweet smile

  That was the look she got when she was about to bully me

  But I was used to it...no more like I was used to not being able to argue or defend myself

  I could never be used to the bullying

  "Bring that bucket over there and entertain me" she pointed behind me

  I turned to the bucket behind me but my eyes passed the occupied stall

  This person hasn't said a word since we started and it seems my sister is unaware of her

  Anyway I don't have friends in school only those who bully me and those who mock me with words

  So it's not like the person could use this against me

  Now the problem is what to do with the bucket of dirty water to entertain my sister

  I decided and poured the bucket full of dirty water I just grabbed unto my body

  I did try to think of ways to avoid getting wet but I couldn't think of anything else

  It looks like I'm going to miss the important class for today and study harder than usual for the test

  I had to get straight A's in my sister's exams so that she could maintain her position as Class representative

  It's more important in this school which was set up by nobility for nobility

  The students here are part of the nobility which is way different from the other section that the world was divided into by natural disaster

  The commoners

  So the people were split up into the nobles and the commoners

  And the Mori family is one of the pillars of the nobility in charge of mining the new ore that powers a lot of things

  So that's why my existence is a stain to them and my sister has to shine

  "Tsk I was hoping you would drink it" my sister said as she glanced at her soaked shoes

  "I'll buy you a new one" I said even though I knew it wasn't truly my fault

  But I still submitted and accepted the blame

  "Whatever" it seems she doesn't want to play anymore

  I heard someone slip outside and remembered the person in the stall

  I was quite close to her so the stall was more flooded than the place my sister was standing

  I looked at the gap under the door and saw that her shoes were dirty

  "Sorry" I said to her but she only made a muffled sound

  I also noticed that there were black spots on her ankle region

  But I didn't have the courage to ask so I walked away to go to the sink

  My sister took a picture of me then started snickering

  It seems like she wasn't going anywhere any time soon so I just quietly continued with what I was doing

  I took off my blazer and tried to squeeze the water out

  I was planning on drying the blazer and wearing it to cover my wet shirt

  As for my pants; it's unfortunate but I would have to go like that

  Honestly the school already made a concession for me by letting me wear pants instead of a skirt

  Though it was more for the other students as my skin was particularly scary looking

  White transparent skin that revealed all the blood vessels at the surface of the body very clearly

  It even outlines the slight vibration of the vessels expanding and tightening

  That's why I wear a baggy uniform and pants

  The hair doesn't do much for me either as the bangs cover my eyes that are hidden behind large round ugly glasses

  Plus the length and texture remind one of a ghost

  The whole aura is dark and depressing and it doesn't really help my case when I have to hide in dark places

  All of this made me the 'ghost' of the school

  But this weird habits and characteristics were as a result of my incurable disease

  Though it only causes me pain due to my skin's high sensitivity to the sun

  So at least there's that

  But it doesn't really matter today because the weather was surprisingly nice

  Creak

  Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening

  I turned back to see the student in the stall had finally come out

  She came out in a weird state that involved black spots covering her whole body

  I seem to remember my roommates saying that her friend had the same black spots on her body

  Growl

  The sound coming out of her was animalistic

  She lunged straight at my sister who was closer but I was the one who screamed

  I was scared and my whole body was trembling

  My sister was always tough so she managed to dodge away in time and move to my side

  " Sister I need your help this time, won't you help me" she said

  Me...help

  How

  I'm scared

  Then I felt hands push me forward just as the student lunged at us

  I panicked and tried to grab hold of her but I only ended up tearing her skirt pocket

  I screamed as the student bit into my shoulder and the pain consumed me

  I didn't have the energy to move anymore and I saw my sister smile at me one last time before running away

  And I also saw the cracked hairpin on the ground

  I lay down on the ground crying but also secretly relieved

  After years of apologizing with my head down and being bullied for my disease

  I wasn't angry at how I lived but I was relieved that it was all coming to an end

  Really

  I'm too...

  He he

  Ha ha

  He he

  Die die die die

  This life should just die so that it can end