1

  As I find myself in a desperate situation, I also found myself on the rooftop. How? Don't ask. Call me Spiderman while you can.

  Of course, as obvious as obvious-ness could get, I had absolutely nothing to do over here as well. Not a view-guy, either. I'm not particularly a fan of "oh, look! It's the no.319th building!!". Not to be rude to any enthusiasts about such things, but it didn't catch my interest. Not that Higashimachi 3-chome was any pleasant to look at to begin with. Well, I can't really form that opinion, can I? I usually (always) don't look up to people's eyes, so it's easy to deduce to the conclusion that I usually don't even look at anything, ever. To judge on the looks of the place is a tad bit baseless from my part. Well...

  "Ugh, whatever." I found myself aggravated the exact second I tried lift my head and gaze up the streets and buildings. My neck gave me a wholesome crack, reminding me of how awful my posture is. I rolled my head, cracking my neck, which gave me some relief and helped this new mission of fixing my posture.

  ...... My posture was momentarily fixed. I looked. Nothing important. All that was in vain.

  Or was it? I couldn't care anymore if there was anything worth what I bothered myself to do. I didn't care if there were any fruits for my half-assed experiment on looking around. Huh, stopping at the finish line.

  "...." Worthless as ever, I sat down on a... I didn't know what I sat on, but knowing it's a roof, my guess is it's a block of some sort.

  Suddenly—

  "You're more miserable than last time I checked on you, hnn?"

  A voice. A voice... a voice. I——— couldn't describe it...

  A voice that held happiness and sorrow. Certainty and confusion. Strength and weakness. Love and hatred. Life and death.

  That... that damned voice had it all at once. I've never heard that voice before. Neither have I ever, never, experienced anything so peculiar. Never knew something so contradictory could exist.

  "!?" Instinctively, I stood up abruptly and looked behind—

  "Eheheheh~" She, or he (leaning to guess it's a she), or whatever that was, was nowhere to be found. What the hell?! It's the roof... how could someone disappear like that?! I didn't know if I was in the presence of a ninja, but I sure wasn't happy about meeting one!

  "...Who, and where are you?" I, ever so calmly, called out. It was truthful that I did not speak a lot, or ever. But that didn't make me lose my voice. If somebody would suddenly ask me to read out loud a speech or something like that, I'd do it effortlessly.

  "Worry not." The voice was behind me now. "No harm! Pinky promise."

  The voice held everything, absolutely and utterly every emotion possible at once. Yet...... one. Just one emotion triumphed all in this moment. One stood above all.

  Joy was the victor in that tone.

  I didn't know why, didn't have to know why, I didn't want to know why, I didn't need to know why—I wanted to claim, but... the voice is behind me. I'm at roof's edge.

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  The voice didn't go away. My life wasn't a horror movie for someone to appear on me and disappear, right? Anyways. Realizing how futile it is to try to find the, I guess, ghost (??), I gave up, sat down, and indulged into the conversation. From what I can suspect, whatever this is, is not going to let me witness their face whatsoever. I could tell I was not getting an answer for my why, so I gave up.

  2

  Whatever this is, spoke to me about selfishness and selflessness. Out of nowhere. Truly uncalled for.

  To be completely and absolutely honest, my care rate for this topic couldn't be more than a zero. Yet. I rhymed with the flow nonetheless. *This *thing* is beyond messing with*, is my guess, so I didn't play the joker. And it also...

  *"Something so ideal, doesn't exist."* It said. A phrase I, myself, use quite a number. I believe that nothing perfect exists. So, with all simplicity, I'm a cultist for that logic. But the way she offered it intrigued me, not that I disagreed or agreed with it.

  "What's ideal about absolute selfishness? Or absolute selflessness?" I asked, just a bit, getting interested in whatever this is. At the very least, this is much better than murderous boredom.

  "Ah-ha. Never took you for a dummy, Kaito." It knew my name. Suddenly, a hand flew past my temple. That sent a horrendous shiver down my entire body. This close... I could...—

  "...?" From how slender the hand is, I finally got to the finale that it's a woman. Or, unless, it's a really feminine guy. But the voice gives me a conclusive feeling that she's a female. And then—

  "What a bummer." She made an aggressive thumbs down gesture. She clearly showed displeasure in my reply. What did I do wrong?

  "I don't think I follow..." I said honestly. I wasn't shying away from my lack of knowledge.

  "Look at it conceptually," the nameless girl said. "Somebody's selfishness is self-drived, right?"

  As she prompted me, I couldn't help but respond with an uncharacteristically sheepish nod.

  "And somebody's selflessness is self-righteousness, am I wrong?"

  "......... Correct." I couldn't argue with that. Nobody can, really. A selfless person is somebody who'd offer any way, shape, or form of help towards others in their own belief that it's the correct thing no matter what. That is, without a doubt, self-righteousness. No matter the outcome of the course, the beginning of it was purely off one's own formed desires for themselves, independently concluding it being selfish. A belief that stands for righteousness that you created for yourself.

  Yet—I couldn't understand her point.

  "So," I pushed my voice out. "You mean—"

  "You could look at it in many other ways," she interrupted me. Man, thanks. Awesome first impression, whoever you are. "But... isn't it odd for two opposite concepts to hold each other's reasonings?"

  That—was something to uphold. Yet, I couldn't help but be bewildered as I couldn't grasp her nonsense.

  "That's what I mean when I called it ideal. Nobody is selfish for selfish reasons, neither is selfless for selfless reasons."

  "...I see." I didn't see, but I went along. "But," something intrigued me, so I said it, "if they hold each other's values, what's the point?" I assumed it was the head-goal of this conversation. I could understand where she's coming from, but I didn't grasp the conclusion she's offering, if she had any.

  "Ehehe," she laughed again. "I knew you'd come along, Kaito." Her hand was so close to stroke my cheek, yet she didn't. As if she knew.

  "There's none."

  "...Huh?"

  "As I said, none. None of the two exist. Two concepts that are proclaimed to be different in every meaning, yet they betray such claims by not being opposites. Don't you think it's a bit idiotic? It's like a coin." She brought that metaphor, or whatever it was, again. I recalled when said coin this and that, I was at first taken aback by it as I couldn't understand it, but now it's a good chance to understand it. Either way... I felt like a fool for not understanding her. Or was she the fool? One of us had to be one.

  "What's the difference if it lands on head or tails?" As she said that, out of nowhere, a *clang* sound was made. I looked down only to be met with a silver coin that was heads.

  "...." Silence is all I could offer. Truly, foolery.

  She snapped her finger. The sound rang my ears a bit. Then— Now the coin is miraculously tails.

  "....Huh." I think I'm grasping it. Or hoping that I am.

  "What's the difference, really? They both hold the Same weight. Same meaning. Only different in name and looks. Yet they're the exact same. Aren't they supposed to be polar opposites? They're not oppositions if they hold the same value, right?"

  .... My head hurts. Honestly, I didn't care how right or wrong she was, but it hurts. Stop it. I had a very confident feeling that she is not letting go of me unless I continue this, so I did.