Dr. Lubricious Slugg was decidedly lost, but he was happier to be lost than to be eaten by a giant non-tufted titmouse. After they had flown a few Earth-miles Slugg had been able to thwomp the massive avian-class yokai in the genitals with his big tail-end, causing the monstrous bird to drop him in the middle of one of Bonertania’s many overgrown fleshwoods. The hairtops of the sweaty, meaty trees were so thick Slugg escaped her view, and the voracious titmouse had to go look elsewhere for her lunch.

  Dr. Slugg slithered through the fleshtree forest aimlessly until the pink peach-shaped sun sank and the brown croissant-shaped moon rose. The giant gastropod was exhausted, and collapsed into the bushiest hairbush he could find, which was a purple one baring wrenchnuts.

  Just as the sun rose he awoke, thankfully having been not eaten by some wild yokai in the damp fleshwoods. He continued trecking towards he knew not what, and eventually through the thick hairbushes he came across a sight that made his already bulging eyes bulge even more: Under a big fleshtree, standing in a pile of skinleafs, was another slug- a slug as big as the slug that Dr. Slugg was!

  Dr. Slugg's heart began to thump like a triphammer. He had no inkling there was another humanoid-sized slug on Sifillis, let alone one so attractive. Gathering himself together as best he could, he slowly approached the curious gastropod. There was a crackle and snap as if he had stepped upon a pillow stuffed with twigs. Then there was an ear splitting shriek that fairly curdled his blood- it was a little brown boy, who leapt upon Dr. Slugg, knocking him to the ground.

  "Help! Help!" screamed Slugg, trying to rise. "Ouch, Stop!" The boy had climbed up to Slugg’s face and was tugging on his eyestalks

  Thinking Dr. Slugg meant Poo-go harm, Tiny Tirdly had hurled himself upon the giant gastropod. The Krapaterian orphan began biting his eyestalks savagely.

  Poo-Go ran over and pulled Tiny Tirdly off of Dr. Slugg. Dr. Slugg rose with dignity and brushed detritus off himself. Then apologies and introductions were made.

  "You’re a slug!" giggled Poo-Go.

  "You’re not a slug!" said Dr. Slugg

  "He's not a slug," wailed Tiny Tirdly, hugging the fat fake slug.

  "Not a slug?" said Dr. Slugg. "Then what- "

  "I'm a nekroklown!," giggled the lumpy greenish-brown, beanbag-chair-shaped alien indignantly. “Coming to you live from planet Spij?ken, by way of Krapateria and Honkytown!"

  Dr. Slugg had never seen a nekroklown- let alone a Spij?kenian one- and the nekroklown had never seen a Dr. Slugg, so there was much to be explained and accounted for. Dr. Slugg related how the titmouse had dropped him randomly in the forest. Although they didn’t say it out loud, both Poo-go and Tirdly couldn’t believe that within the vastness of Pus Continent the very quarry they were hunting had been figuratively dropped into their laps.

  Poo-go and Tiny Tirdly told their story, from their sudden transportation to Honkytown to being sucked through a petrified poo door’s keyhole and being deposited rudely and randomly in this strange forest. They told Slugg everything except the part about Kraka's determination to have them capture Dr. Slugg himself. They were on their way, explained the nekroklown, to Schmegma City to see whether or not Titiana could find a way to send them back to Krapateria.

  "The tremorroid can do that very easily with her enchanted jockstrap," said the slug, confidently "and I will go with you, for Bonertania is full of dangers, I am very sure." To tell the truth, Dr. Slugg was terrified to travel alone.

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  "Oh, I do want to see Tremorroid Titiana and Schmegma City! Let's hurry," cried the little brown orphan, throwing his arms around Dr. Slugg. The kind old Dr. Slugg’s stalk-eyes blinked with pleasure.

  Poo-go felt a little uncomfortable, for he had determined, as soon as the opportunity presented itself, to tie up the great creature and somehow or other deliver him to Kraka. What else could he do? The nekroklown sighed regretfully, for already he had taken a great fancy to Dr. Slugg. But fancy or not, one could not risk turning into a poop sculpture, and he had Tiny Tirdly to think of. So he decided to travel with the slug for a while and, so long as they did that with the fixed purpose of capturing Dr. Slugg, Kraka's thaumaturgy could not immobilize them.

  Poo-go mentioned nothing of his plans to Tiny Tirdly, for the boy was so happy at the thought of visiting Schmegma City, and so delighted with this new and interesting friend, he hated to spoil a bit of his pleasure. So he merely collected some alien feces from a pile nearby and they all had a cheerful breakfast together. Then, with Tiny Tirdly riding on the slug’s shoulders, they started off once again toward the north.

  "Would you mind telling me why you are dressed as a slug?" asked Dr. Slugg. He had been looking sideways at Poo-go for some time, trying to puzzle the thing out for himself.

  "Not at all," chuckled the nekroklown. "I do a slug impression in my circus act".

  “Oh. That must be delightful," said Dr. Slugg flatly.

  “Oh, yes, it is, audiences find slugs very amusing." Poo-go wondered uneasily what Dr. Slugg would do when he tried to capture him. But the thought of being captured never entered the slug's head. It was his plain duty to conduct this nekroklown and little boy safely to Schmegma City, even if he didn’t know the way.

  Poo-go was so cheerful and jolly and made so much fun out of everything that Dr. Slugg felt repaid for any trouble he was taking. Toward noon, as the sun grew rather hot, Dr. Slugg turned into a small inviting wood. On the very first fleshtree, a large sign made them pause. The sign said, "Twenty fleshtrees to U."

  "I never heard of any country or kingdom called U," mumbled Dr. Slugg, blinking up at the sign in surprise. They moved on.

  Tiny Tirdly was the first to discover that every now and then the fleshtrees were numbered and, following them in the order of their numbers, took them deeper and deeper into the forest. When they reached the fleshtree numbered nineteen, they were alarmed to note that all the other numbers that had guided them had disappeared. The uvula-nut-bearing hairbushes had meanwhile grown so dense that they could hardly push on and, when Poo-go suggested that they go back, they found they had lost the way entirely. The nekroklown climbed the nineteenth fleshtree to make a little survey of the country.

  With a shout he came scrambling down. "There's a clearing just beyond," puffed Poo-go. "Come on!"

  They began pushing through the heavy thicket in the direction pointed out by Poo-go. Holding up their arms to protect their faces, in almost no time they had come out on the small clearing.

  As they looked the nekroklown clutched Tiny Tirdly, while Dr. Slugg blinked with astonishment. The twentieth fleshtree was knitting furiously, holding in its long bony branches nearly a hundred gleaming needles. In stead of yarn it used a seemingly never-ending string of gloppy snot from its twenty nostrils. It was knitting giant snot nets. The gnarled fleshtree twitched its gnarled head and saw our friends, gave a grunt, and the slimy web he had just completed floated from in front of him. For some moments our friends watched in puzzled silence. Then Tiny Tirdly screamed, Dr. Slugg gurgled frantically and Poo-go giggled with alarm. For the slimy, hovering net suddenly swooped down and scooped them up like a school of dolphin. The fleshtree- who had no face save the twenty nostrils and a mouth gashier than Gashmouth the Chainsaw Raccoon’s- gave a disagreeable little cackle. Reaching out two long limbs, the tree quickly knitted the top of the net together and tossed the luckless travelers high over its head.

  Miraculously, as it struck the air, the big porous slime-bag filled out like a balloon and went sailing upward at a terrible rate- Dr. Slugg, Tiny Tirdly and Poo-go rolling over and over in the bottom and bumping and banging together in a most painful and unpleasant fashion. What was to be these strange travelers’ fate?

  As they bounced around haphazardly in the snotnet Poo-Go farted and it blew right in Tiny Tirdly’s face, then Dr. Slugg let one rip in Poo-Go’s face.