Soda the Cyanotic Belchkin sank gently into the meaty, sweaty ground. She had the sensation she was being swallowed, and that she was moving down, down through an alimentary canal. After a minute or two of this unpleasant, moist sensation the Soda belchkin popped out of an orifice and tumbled swiftly through dank space, landing on a hard, scabby floor with a thwump that astonished her. Then she sat up, brushed the detritus off her gremlin-class yokai form, and gazed around her.

  She was in a large chamber with lumpy, meaty red walls. The walls subtly pulsated, as if breathing slowly. The area was dimly lighted by scores of big round glittering red disco balls. But they were not red disco balls, as Soda soon discovered. They were bulging red eyes. And the eyes were in the heads of enormous insects whose bodies trailed far behind them. On their bodies were big scales, as round as manhole covers, which were tinted in rusty shades of brown, beige, and orange. The six-legged creatures each had two spindly arms sprouting from under their chins, each arm with a dainty humanoid hand on the end. Each beast was bigger than the Veiny Mammoth, and three times as long, and there were a dozen or more of them scattered here and there about the chamber.

  From tales Rumplemuss the Dirty Wanderer had told her Soda knew she had fallen into the den of the great pthiruses that had been driven from the surface of Sifillis by Nobgoblin and were only allowed to come out once in a hundred years to search for food. Of course she had never seen pthiruses- or any psocodea-class yokai- before, yet there was no mistaking them, for they were unlike any other living creatures.

  Soda sat upon the slightly sticky, scabby floor where she had fallen, staring around, and the owners of the big eyes returned her look, silently and motionless. Finally one of the pthiruses which was farthest away from her asked, in a deep, gravelly voice:

  "What was that?"

  And the largest pthirus of all, who was just in front of the wee cyanotic belchkin, answered in a still deeper, gravellier voice:

  "It is some foolish creature from upstairs."

  "Is it good to eat?" inquired a smaller pthirus beside the great big one. "I'm hungry."

  "Hungry!" exclaimed all the pthiruses, in a reproachful chorus; and then the great one said chidingly: "Tut-tut, my son! You've no reason to be hungry at this time."

  "Why not?" asked the little pthirus. "All I ate, eighty-seven years ago, was a byzantium hippopotamus, and that's not a full meal at all," grumbled the young one.

  "How old are you now?" belched Soda, forgetting her own dangerous position in her interest in the conversation.

  "Why, I'm- I'm- How old am I, dad?" asked the little pthiruses.

  "Ugga magugga!” returned the big one, impatiently. “What a child to ask such a question. Do you want to keep me thinking all the time? Don't you know that thinking is very bad for pthirus brains?"

  "No, really, how old am I, dad?" persisted the smaller pthirus.

  "About six hundred and forty-two, I believe. Ask your mother."

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  "No; don't!" said a shrill pthirus in the back of the crowd; "haven't I enough worries, what with being wakened in the middle of a wonderful dream about steamed giraffe hocks, without being obliged to keep track of my children's ages? Anyhoo, let’s punish this strange little cyanotic beast for falling into our organ cavity and disturbing us."

  "I didn't know you were here! And I didn't know I was going to fall in!" belched Soda, getting to her little belchkin feet.

  "Nevertheless, here you are," said the largest pthirus, "and you have carelessly wakened our entire tribe; so it stands to reason you must be punished."

  "In what way?" belched the cyanotic belchkin, trembling a little.

  "Give me time and I'll think of a way. You're in no hurry, are you?" asked the great pthirus.

  "No, indeed," belched Soda. "Take your time. I'd much rather you'd all go to sleep again, and punish me when you wake up."

  "Let me eat her!" pleaded the littlest pthirus.

  "She is too small," said the daddy pthirus. "To eat this one puny imp would only serve to make you hungry for more, and there are no more."

  "Quit this chatter and let me get to sleep," protested another massive pthirus, yawning in a fearful manner, for when he opened his hideous mouth a spurt of chunky brown goo leaped forth from it and made Soda jump back to get out of its way.

  In her jump she bumped against the nose of a pthirus behind her, which opened its mouth to growl and shot another spurt of clumpy goo at her. Soda sprang forward with a great bound. This time she landed on the bony hand of the great chief pthirus, who spit a big faceful of the brown gunk right on the transmogrified Schling Tween. Then the chief angrily raised his other front hand and struck the cyanotic belchkin a fierce blow. Soda went sailing through the air and fell sprawling upon the scab-covered floor far beyond the place where the pthirus tribe was grouped.

  All the great beasts were now thoroughly wakened and aroused, and they blamed the little belchkin for disturbing their quiet. The littlest pthirus darted after Soda and the others turned their unwieldy bodies in her direction and followed, flashing from their red disco ball eyes which lighted up the entire room. Clotted brown goo oozed from their hellish maws.

  Soda almost gave herself up for lost, at that moment, but she scrambled to her feet and dashed away to the farthest end of the chamber, which was heaped with tumbled dead fleshrocks and skinstones. Soda, with an agility born of fear, scampered from hard boulder to hard boulder until she found herself crouched against the chamber’s roof. There she waited, for she could go no farther, while on over the tumbled rocks slowly crept the pthiruses- the littlest one coming first because he was so very awfully hungry.

  The pthiruses had almost reached her when Soda, remembering the enchanted brassiere, recovered her wits and belched loudly: "Open!" At the belch a hole unpuckered in the roof of the fleshy chamber, just over her head, and through it the pinkish-purple sunlight streamed full upon the cyanotic belchkin.

  The pthiruses paused, astonished at the thaumaturgy and blinking at the sunlight, and this gave Soda time to jump up and climb up through the opening. As soon as she reached the surface of Sifillis the hole puckered closed again, and the belchkin realized, with a thrill of joy, that she had seen the last of the threatening pthirus throng. She farted in relief.