“Just give it a shot,” Alexia said. “You never know what you might enjoy.”

  “I’m just not comfortable with it.”

  “I crocheted you the perfect costume for the event, sweetie,” Dawn said, dangling it like bait.

  “All kinds of characters will be there,” Alexia added. “Doctor Who.”

  “Fake.”

  “X-men, Batman, Spider-Man, and even Captain California.”

  My eyes shot to Alexia. “The Spider-Man?”

  “No,” Dawn explained. “They’ll be in costume, like us.”

  “I’ll go because you want me to, Alexia.”

  Alexia stood regally, hand on her hip, chin raised. “For today, call me Alison Alistair, reporter extraordinaire. And you—you’re my enigmatic Cameraperson. Non-binary badass. Just like you, Gray.”

  Dawn tossed me some pants. “Let's get you dressed and into makeup.”

  The makeup wasn’t needed; Dawn just liked pretending she was working in the soaps. I reminded her there’s no filming in the afterlife. She shrugged. “Not with that attitude.”

  I examined my reflection, twisting my bald head from side to side, thousands of earrings clinking, giving me a fear of magnets.

  Alexia gave me another piercing—in a special place.

  “It’ll be fun later,” she promised.

  Alexia took my hand. “Let's go, my studly CP, and see what chaos awaits us at the Thwap Thud Fan Con.”

  I cut a hole in reality, and we stepped out in front of the Denver Convention Center.

  “Why is that giant blue bear spying on everyone?” I asked.

  “It’s a statue, Gray.” Alexia knocked on its side. “Colorado seems to like art,”

  “It’s all the dope,” Dawn added. “Which reminds me, I need to stock up while we’re here.”

  Dawn broke off. Alexia and I tried to enter, only to find the longest line in the multiverse.

  “Is this customary?”

  Alexia sighed. “I couldn’t afford the Flashy Quicksilver Pass for Nobility.”

  “That’s okay. I just enjoy being with you… and another you?” I pointed down the line.

  “There’ll probably be lots of Alisons here. CPs too.”

  The line crept forward, and another Alison and CP approached.

  “These are the best ones yet, CP.”

  CP nodded, held up a camera, and spun a finger.

  “Alison Alistair here, Channel 13 News, at the Thwap Thud Fan Con with what appear to be mine and CP’s twins. Did you make your costumes?”

  I thought Alexia might faint.

  “Oh. Em. Gee. You’re the real Alison?! And CP?!”

  They nodded.

  “To answer your question, Miss Alison—”

  “Just Alison.”

  “Alexia made both of our costumes, with help from my roommate, Dawn. Alexia also pierced my d—”

  “Who are you calling a roommate?!” Dawn barked. “I’m your grandmother and best friend.”

  Dawn smiled. “Alison. CP. It’s been a while.”

  Alexia’s eyes widened. “Y-you know Alison and Cameraperson?”

  “Of course. CP and I were… colleagues in a past life.”

  CP nodded, forming a heart with their hands.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  Alison grinned. “Well, we can’t stand here like cattle. Come with us.”

  She took Alexia’s hand—I swear there were hearts in her eyes. Alexia grabbed mine. CP and Dawn followed as Alison dragged us through the tens of thousands of people, flashed a badge, and ushered us onto the con floor.

  Alison threw her hands up and exclaimed, “Here we are! Where chaos reigns!” She cackled.

  CP rolled their eyes, stomped a foot, and pulled down their lower eyelid.

  “Why did they do that?” I whispered, eyebrows raised.

  Alexia leaned in. “That’s how they communicate.”

  I nodded, like that was normal.

  “Oh, let her have her fun, CP,” Dawn smiled. “Everyone deserves an evil laugh now and then.”

  Alison scribbled on a business card and handed it to Alexia. “Our friends’ booth. Swing by, say hi—maybe buy all their stock.”

  They vanished into the crowd.

  Alexia spun on her heels, eyes sparkling. “That was one of the greatest experiences of my life.”

  I smiled. “I’m glad we got to meet them.”

  Dawn strode ahead. “C’mon, let’s see all the sexy Spider-Mans and Kitty Prydes!”

  “Sexy Spider-Mans!” I rushed after her, Alexia close behind.

  I stopped. Rows of fanart, t-shirts, and anime girls in various stages of undress stretched in every direction.

  “Where are the comics?”

  No answer. Alexia and Dawn were gone.

  I’d been alone in giant scenes of chaos before—usually because of plagues or wars. I looked over the sea of heads. This could count as both.

  “Nothing to do but walk.”

  Ten seconds later I was pinned between jock Chewbacca and goth Strawberry Shortcake. They didn’t notice—or care. At an intersection, I grabbed a Captain Carrot arm and pulled myself free.

  “Well, that was gross.”

  I tried again, zipping, weaving, ducking, hopping. Maybe I was a badass like Alexia said. At the edge of the room, I finally stopped. The crowd rippled like an ocean.

  “Might as well browse. I’ll run into them eventually.”

  While I was walking, a booth caught my eye, and I drifted toward it.

  “Hello, can I help you?”

  “This is an excellent likeness.”

  “I’ve made three or four hundred. The Reaper is very popular.”

  “I am?”

  He blinked. “I just met you.”

  “You said I was popular.”

  “I said my Grim Reaper plushies are popular.”

  “I see,” I held my chin. “If I purchase this, will it make me popular?”

  “I can’t guarantee it… but there’s a possibility.”

  I studied the tiny Reaper. “You captured my eyes perfectly.”

  “Thank you?” he scratched his head.

  “It’s settled. I’ll purchase this mini me—and that duck. My partner loves ducks.”

  “That’s Donald Duck sir—”

  “Ser. And she can always rename it.”

  “That’ll be one hundred dollars, ser.”

  I dropped a bag of gold coins into his hand. “Does this cover it?”

  His eyes bulged. “More than enough!”

  “As long as it’s sufficient."

  I wandered on, admiring the plush. “It really is uncanny.”

  Someone shoved me into a booth.

  “Sorry,” I turned. “S-s-spider-man.”

  “No worries,” he said. “I wouldn’t be a friendly neighborhood wall crawler otherwise.”

  I held out my hand. “Gray.”

  “Spider-Man.”

  “It’s strange you’re selling your competitors’ comics.”

  “I’m a broke journalist.”

  “I just met a journalist named Alison Alistair. She didn’t seem broke.”

  “The Alison Alistair?” He pulled off his mask. “Can you introduce me?”

  “No. You’re a liar!” I pointed at him. “You’re not Spider-Man!”

  I rejoined the human river, shaking my head.

  “What a jerk.”

  Moments later I crashed into another table.

  “You okay?” A man stared at me, concern etched his face.

  “Yes.” I noticed his banner. “Why is Grippli on your banner, Mr. Mushroom Comix Ink?”

  He offered a hand. “River. Half-owner. I created Grippli.”

  “But he’s a god.”

  “I know. Wild, right?”

  A familiar weight landed on my back. “Gray! You found Alison’s friends!”

  “Alexia?” I pulled her close.

  “This place is chaos. I bought a stuffed me, met a fake Spider-Man, and just learned River created a god.”

  “I told you, conventions are wild.”

  “And smelly,” River added.

  I held out the duck. “I got this for you.”

  Her eyes lit up, “Donald Duck! I’m a huge Ducktales nerd. I love it, Gray!”

  Alexia took my hand.

  Sighing, I squeezed it.“I got lost, but I knew I’d find my way back to you.”

  She laughed and kissed my cheek.

  “Good,” she grinned. “Right where you should be.”

  I looked around. “Where’s Dawn?”

  “She ran off with an alien, said not to wait up.”

  Even Death.

  The Adventures of Alison Alistair and River and the Bug. Please check them out.