LYSSANDRA

  ‘’Look how beautiful it is’’I glanced at Akila, showing her a deep red dress with golden details on the end. Half of her face was covered with a scarf, so I could see only her eyes, but I knew that she was annoyed.

  The woman who owned the caravan replied with a laugh, and she showed us a few more fabrics.

  ‘’This will match your eyes ‘’She said as she showed Akila a deep golden scarf.

  ‘’Great,’’I winced and turned to Akila.

  ‘’We will take all of them’’

  Akila grunted even when I paid for everything. Did I do something wrong again?

  We kept walking while I was carrying every fabric on my shoulders as I stepped into another caravan with herbs. Each scent was exploding in my nostrils, making me feel nostalgic about a time when I had plenty of them in my room, making medicine and poison. Now, I couldn’t even do that as Hermes was not even allowing me to mess with his garden. But I could think of something.

  ‘’It really isn’t necessary, when will I even wear them?’’ Akila brought me back from my daydreaming.

  That was true. I told her to come with me so we could both see the marketplace, but she wasn’t impressed. Maybe she knew everything before me, and I looked like a little child.

  But also, everyone was staring at Akila strangely.

  ‘’Let me help you’’ Akila spoke, but I ignored her.

  ‘’Can I have three sacks of salt?’’’

  The weather was hot, and making myself carry everything didn’t help at all. When we finally got to the house, I took out the scarf on my face. And Akila was still staring at me.

  ‘’Is something wrong?’’ I panted.

  ‘’You do not have to make me feel good’’She grunted.

  I did not mean to at first, but I have been there for months, and she didn’t seem to have any interest other than work. I could have told her that I knew what a servant being was like. Being lost and telling her everything, but I did not have the strength yet.

  ‘’What did you do now?’’Hermes jumped right behind me, frightening both of us. He was in his disguise, so I could see where he was staring. Right at the packs of salt.

  ‘’Do I need to know?’’ I took a glance, and I noticed that Akila was on her knees with her forehead stuck to the floor.

  ‘’Do not worry, dear’’ I leaned closer to him, trying to pretend that everything was fine.

  Back in the kitchen, Akila was staring at me and the clothes I bought her. At least Hermes was giving me plenty of money to spend while he was busy with whatever he was doing with the copper.

  ‘’Why did you buy me the dresses?’’ Akila asked again. ‘’If this is a game between you and your husband, I do not want to be beheaded.

  I suppose kindness wasn’t understandable for her, so I had to look at her cruelly.

  ‘’How did someone like you end up here?’’I turned roughly.

  And the woman now faced me, almost afraid.

  ‘’How did you know?’’

  She looked so much like Zimu that I thought that they were siblings. But I was wrong. She moved close to one of the jars and wiped her face with water. Her fingers were shaking as the clay she placed on her face began to fade, and her hooked nose was more crooked, and her plump cheeks thinner. Even her eyes seemed to be lighter with her hair now losing the dark color slowly, turning lighter.

  Even with such small changes, Akilla was unrecognisable now. But actually, this wasn’t what I meant. Even now, with all the clay out, she looked so familiar. But I couldn’t understand, I could not remember who had that face before.

  ‘’ Sumerian women, even as slaves, have it easier than the ones from Egypt.’’ She explained.

  My brow arched, and I tried to hold a smile.

  ‘’Smart’’I complimented her and turned back to the sacks of salt.

  ‘’Do you miss your homeland?’’I asked her while she was trying to hide her face.

  The woman stayed frightened and tried to look away.

  So, I tried to move closer and admit something to her that I was holding inside my chest.

  ‘’I was a follower of a powerful god’’I whispered, and her eyes lit up.

  ‘’It was terrible actually there, I got rough lessons, everyone was calling me odd…’’

  ‘’Wonder why’’ Her confidence appeared as she said that.

  ‘’But there was a valley nearby. Herbs and flowers were growing each spring, and the arch priest was sending me to pick everything for the altar. I could spend hours until the sun was falling in that valley. My fingernails were painted green with my knees bleeding and my hair all a heavy mess, but’’

  I took a deep breath. ‘’I miss that valley with all of my heart.’’

  Akila nodded.

  ‘’My father was a shepherd,’’she admitted. ‘’When the sun was out, we got out of the darkness in secret and were trying to find fresh new grass for the white sheep. Once, I got a beautiful golden dress that my Mama made, and it became a used piece of cloth, half eaten by the cattle’’

  She let out a chuckle. ‘’I miss them. I want to see them again.’’

  So, are they still alive? How did she become a slave anyway? However, I knew that she wasn’t lying. So, I tapped her shoulder.

  ‘’I think that you will see them one day.’’

  But Akilla kept staring at me, frightened. ‘’You won’t tell it to your husband, will you?’’

  He probably knew that already, and I do not believe that he actually cared.

  ‘’Depends. Will you help me without asking questions?’’

  ‘’I hate you’’Muttered Akilla as we were carrying a caravan full of jars that had a strange liquid to the port. There, I found a Hermes ship that was about to carry a lot of copper to the nearest destination.

  One of the crew members' eyes lit up and ran from the ship down to my feet.

  ‘’Oh, miss, we are so glad you are here, but Ea Nasir is’’He pointed in the opposite direction, where there was a tent that had a bearded man sitting all alone, expecting me. Once a day, we decided to play our usual game while he would have the power to expect the caravans and ships.

  ‘’Great, but if you can be kind,’’ I leaned closer to the man and whispered in his ear.

  ‘’Please help my friend over there’’

  His face blushed dark red and bowed as he moved on Akila’s side.

  I bribed the man enough to shut up about anything about the jars inside, and it seemed how foolish people like him can be.

  ‘’Here you are, my dear’’Hermes said with amusement, and I took a seat right in front of him.

  ‘’I am surprised you didn’t wear any of the fabrics you bought’’He pouted, and I looked down at my clothes that had plain red and green colors and almost no details. As much as I wished to wear them, I was reminding myself, and I did not want that attention. Not now.

  The game was set, the drinks were poured, and his attention was on me.

  ‘’I prefer them to keep them for a special occasion.’’I lied, and the god smirked.

  In the first seconds of the game, it was always my luck in the depths of Tartarus. But winning or losing was not the point now. I just had to buy some for Akila.

  ‘’Did you like the marketplace?’’ He finally asked me a question,

  Honestly, it was surprising to see women outside. I was even amazed when I saw them working and looking as if they owned the place.

  ‘’It was really nice’’I replied with a smile.

  ‘’You could have told me to come with you.’’ There was a rasp coming from his voice.

  ‘’Akila wanted to go out too.’’I lied, and it was my time to play.

  ‘’You seem to be very close with them’’Hermes looked at me with a childish pout.

  Was that envy in his voice?

  ‘’They are nice, unlike some other people’’I replied sharply.

  ‘’Is this the reason why you sneak out all night with Zimu?’’

  There was a sharp pain in my chest. But I wouldn’t let him have it.

  Hermes turns.

  ‘’But you are right about them, especially for Akila’’

  Another sharp pain as his lips made that disgusting form of a scheming snake.

  ‘’I thought that you had your way with her already’’I tried to clear my throat with those words.

  But the god waved his hand. ‘’Come now, my dear, you know that my soul belongs to you’’

  I arched my brow. So he didn’t want to upset me, I suppose. Or it was because he knew I would make him pay.

  ‘’But tell me’’The man took a sip from his glass and then from mine, until there was nothing left.

  ‘’What if we bet on her today?’’

  My spine began to tremble as I looked slowly back where Akila was getting out of the ship.

  ‘’I win’’Hermes laughed and made me turn to his side. ‘’I will tame her for a night.’’

  ‘’And what if I win?’’I asked him calmly while I was pinching my fingers down the table.

  ‘’I will answer one of your questions.’’

  Zimu explained to me simply.

  ‘’The first ritual is very hard for everyone to accomplish’’

  I looked at him, confused, while I was reading a tablet about Gilgamesh.

  ‘’You have to force the truth out.’’

  I let the tablet down and looked around.

  ‘’Like if I give you my name…’’The memory of the gods commanding me hit my mind, making my body crawl.

  ‘’Do you remember the first time I asked you why you wanted to learn?’’Zimu fixed his posture as if he were actually trying to be a teacher for me. Even if he still had sweet dates on his cheeks, it was so entertaining to see his strict side.

  The first time he asked me that question, his body was covered in eyes.

  ‘’No’’I stood up from the stairs and hugged my body tight. ‘’How can I even do that?’’

  ‘’How does it sound?’’Hemres woke me up from my thoughts again.

  I shook my head, and we began playing again.

  But there was worry. I was always losing. No matter how much I tried, I was always what was his plan with Akila? Will he really take her? No, he wants me to lose and beg him to take her place? There was a hive of wasps inside my stomach, trying to get out, stinging every part of my organs.

  I cannot win.

  ‘’I lost’’

  Hermes looked at the board, shocked. He did, in fact, lose. Was it a trick? No, he was a god, he would never do it on purpose. Not when he had an actual face of anger…

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  ‘’Here’’Zimu offered me a green liquid and began to drink it slowly, feeling my throat closing and my tongue melting.

  I was about to spit it out, but Zimu forced me to drink the rest. After all, I wouldn't die from it.

  ‘’You are now connected through Enki. ‘’

  I simply nodded, feeling the need to vomit again.

  ‘’All it takes now is to ask with all your power one question.’’

  ‘’You once told me’’I finally spoke to Hermes, and all of his attention was on me.

  ‘’That you were watching me for a while’’

  The first time I saw him was in Crete, pretending to be an old man. But why was he there?

  ‘’Why did you start watching me?’’

  His lips parted, trying to force a smile. I looked at my body and felt nothing strange. No crawling worms or eyes. But it did make Hermes shake from the thought of answering.

  But Hermes cleared his throat before he spoke.

  ‘’What I saw back then was a nobody girl, from a nobody family, and from nowhere, trying to survive. I shouldn’t have paid attention to you, but you had that light that you now have lost. The silent rage of yours, the need to live one more second…

  I actually found it amusing, I wanted to speak to you, learn more about you, and I think that this was the moment I wanted to have you.’’

  My heart skipped a beat, with my face turned red after he said those words.

  ‘’Why are you lying to me now?’’I asked roughly. And the god found it displeasing.

  Why was he there? At that time?

  ‘’Miss’’ Akila spoke right behind me, to which she nodded with positivity on her face.

  It was time for me to leave.

  But I could not do it. He was lying to me, why was he lying?

  ‘’Why are you lying to my face, dear husband?’’ My face formed a wide smirk.’’I thought that you liked me being curious.’’

  But Hermes stood up and leaned close to me to whisper.

  ‘’Go back, Lyssandra’’

  ‘’I think that you burnt them’’Zimu spat half of the sweets. While I was facing the tablets that had information about copper. If my thoughts are right, the damage would take two full moons.

  ‘’Say what did you and Akila carry on those jars?’’ There was his curiosity as he sat next to me.

  ‘’Salt.’’I said and Zimu nodded.

  ‘’And animal urine.’’

  And he blinked, confused, his mouth opening wide, letting the food drop.

  ‘’How long did it take you to succeed in the rituals?’’I asked, and Zimu wiped his face.

  ‘’At first, it was hard. The fluids that they were giving me, the prayers and challenges I had to face, were not easy either. I could remember everyone succeeding in such ease that it made me an easy target. However, even if it took me a few years, I could finally do the rituals. I even became one…’’

  His words were cut off, and he looked at me as if I had slapped him.

  ‘’What was that?’’

  I blinked and kept walking around, only to find a pale, fat dove watching us from above.

  Well, that would be a mess.

  ‘’Why are you always with me?’’Zimu asked.’’I am sure that your husband is going to act curious.’’

  Was this question coming from him or from someone else?

  ‘’Akila tells me that you bought dresses for her?’’

  I nodded and tried to keep reading. I made ten jars of salt and urine. Those ingredients mixed together can slowly destroy the copper faster than natural causes. And it seemed that Hermes’ powers were weak here. He lost.

  So I did hope that this god wouldn’t blame everything on me. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

  ‘’What else can you teach me?’’I turned over to ask him.

  So that’s how the rest of the few moons went. Mixing salt, cooking, playing games with Hermes, and talking with Zimu all night. Those moons made everyone change. Hermes did become famous as Ea Nassir. And that was because everyone hated him. He even showed me the tablets, all disappointed. Akila had now paid more attention to me, and she was even wearing the dresses I chose for her. She even had a sweet smile, hiding inside the fabrics.

  When I was reading in silence, I could sneak a peek at her watching me while she was cleaning my room. Her gaze was calm, as if she was expecting something from me.

  And as for Zimu.

  ‘’Stupid’’I shouted as I was throwing every jar and ritual tablet away from me. Nothing worked. Nothing. Humiliation painted my cheeks red as I could feel every moon that passed as a complete failure.

  But he chuckled. ‘’It’s alright, don’t worry.’’ He moved closer to me, and I backed away, furious.

  ‘’It’s been years, I need to,’’I took a deep breath. ‘’I have to…’’My hand shook, and I looked at the sign of Artemis.

  No, I cannot lose. I closed my eyes and forced myself to return to my calm self.

  ‘’How did those scrolls end up here?’’ I asked and took a turn to the man whose face turned wilder over the few months I was there.

  He looked down at his feet, where he could see a few dandelions growing slowly between the stairs.

  There was a chuckle coming from him.

  ‘’They have been here for centuries. It has been said’’He sat next to me, and I could smell the scent of

  jasmine flowers coming from his silk now long hair.’’It has been said that the woman of the house was blind. But a scholar fell in love with her, and he was trying to charm her. Nothing seemed to work but then..’’

  I blinked, confused as he was letting me think about what happened next.

  ‘’He gave her books to read to her’’I snapped slowly for realization.

  The man nodded. I found the story hard to believe, but it sounded so sweet. He gave her a gift that lasted for centuries.

  ‘’How do you know all of those things?’’

  ‘’I like learning new things’’He smiled again, and he took one bite from a flat bread which Akila baked. ‘’Just like you’’

  For a second, my cheeks turned warmer. I couldn't understand why, but the way he was speaking to me, his compliments were all so honest, making my heart rush.

  I linked how peaceful I was with him around, making me feel so unwise. I could feel that something was wrong with it. That he and I being here was all a play of threads and games.

  ‘’Your flattery will be the end of you’’I whispered back.

  ‘’Will it?’’ There was a click of his tongue, trying to lure me in.

  And I knew that I had to stop it.

  ‘’How can I rush the ritual then?’’

  There was an expression of disappointment coming from his face, and he took a deep breath. My gaze found his hands that were trembling. Something was holding him back.

  So we walked away from the path and stood outside for the night. He kept Beijing silent to me, even when we found ourselves inside the garden where colorful nightflowers were blooming.

  ‘’Why do you want power?’’He asked me.’’You have a rich house, a rich husband, you already have as much power as anyone like you could have.’’

  Why was he asking me this all of the sudden? He was teaching me for almost a decade, and he was never this personal. I could have told the truth to him. However, I could see a silver hawk watching right above us.

  Let’s give him a show.

  I reached for Zimu’s hand and leaned close to his face so I could rest my hands on his warm cheek.

  ‘’Goodnight Zimu’’ I smiled and walked back to my room. But before that, I whispered softly.

  So I can escape.

  Ten years passed, and nothing had changed. And honestly, I grew quite fond of the country and all the luxury I could have wanted. If that meant also I could have made Hermes miserable, I was in Elysium. My lips were forced to stay still when he was reading complaints out loud, and Akila was also trying to hide her laughter behind her work.

  ‘’You are actually a cheeky girl’’I said to he , biting one of the figs from the basket. Her fingers were dug into the dough of the bread, and she wiped her sweaty face before looking at me.

  ‘’Cruel men need to be punished’’She sneered, but I could still see holding a smile.

  My brow arched, and I walked closer to her. ‘’How do you know that he is cruel?’’

  Did he hurt you? I wanted to ask with worry. But Akila shook her head.

  ‘’I have grown up in a flock and been surrounded by jackals.’’She smashed the dough roughly.

  ‘’I know one very well when it’s right in front of me’’Her gaze was cold and steady. Judging me as always with her brown eyes, but there was something different now.

  ‘’And what am I to you?’’ I smiled and took a big bite from the sweet fig. For one of the few times, Akila smiled.

  As she was about to speak, Zimu jumped from behind us with a wide, bright smile. And my cheeks turned once again red. The reason was that I was failing each ritual to gain power, and at the end, we were just talking together in secret about everything and nothing.

  ‘’There are convoys coming tomorrow night to the city’’He leaned closer to my ear, and I sniffed a different aroma of flowers coming from him.

  He simply told me that and walked away, and I could see now Akila murdering the dough with her hands, and her eyes grew like sharp blades of armor.

  ‘’You are a smart lady’’She hushed and punched the door one more time. ‘’To get tricked by jackals.’’

  One two three. Three deep breaths were all it took for me to relax while I was waiting for Zimu in front of the gate of the house. And when he did arrive, I realized how underdressed I was. He had a fine, rich, and green dress with another golden fabric from above, as well as a pair of shining bracelets. And there I was me with a simple red dress and a piece of cloth to cover my face.

  Even while walking, there was silence, but he was holding my hand. His harsh, hot hand was holding my rough ice one. I could look above and actually admit how handsome he was under the moonlight.

  We finally found the convoys, and I was trying so hard not to run at them. Food, wine, jewels, clothes, spices…

  Everything was right in front of me and for me to take. Zimu could see it too as he was jerking his head to one of the caravans.

  The wine tasted sweet, and so did the ox thigh, which made my entire face a mess. But Zimu simply laughed, and I replied by throwing him the rest of my wine. Even his pout was adorable.

  Everything was beautiful underneath the moon and the torches. I could even see children playing with ragged dolls and spheres while in their free hands they were holding small pieces of bread.

  ‘’When I was a kid, we had this’’’Showed me Zimu now in the dark. There was a strange cube where on the two sides, there were carved two thinner angles and lines.

  Now, in the dark alleys on the top of a half-made building, Zimu grabbed it from the one line and twisted it, only for it to fall.

  I faced him, confused, and his face was dark red.

  Zimu stretched his neck and looked at the cubeIt's‘’It suppose to spin.’’

  ‘’You bought a bad one’’I smirked, and Zimu chuckled.

  ‘’I suppose so, but what about you?’’ He moved closer to me now.

  ‘’Me?’’

  ‘’What games did you play as a kid?’’

  There was nothing. A blank space. I don’t remember even if I ever had a simple childhood moment.

  ‘’I liked picking flowers’’I gave him half-truthruth.

  ‘’Oh, and you pet animals like a princess?’’

  I looked away, showing him that he was in the right. And Zimu burst into laughter.

  ‘’You are such a peculiar woman’’He wiped his tears and smiled even wider with the music from the celebration now starting.

  It was loud and powerful. Just like Zimu’s kiss. Warm and gentle, but it could suck my soul.

  But he still had that scent.

  I pushed away, and he replied with a smile. But now, we both stood up, and I looked at the edge of the tall building.

  ‘’Lyssandra, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to…’’

  ‘’It was nice’’I admitted with a knot inside my stomach.

  ‘’Everything that you say is right, but are your words honest?’’

  Zmu stood up and cupped my cheek. His warm, honey smile is so close to my mouth. And he leaned closer once again.

  ‘’Of course.’’

  I squeezed my eyes tight and took a deep breath. Twenty years ago, he was my friend, he tried to teach me, to show me power, and now he wanted to be more than a friend and teacher.

  What a stupid lie.

  I leaned close to his ear.’’Such a terrible liar’’ I whispered.

  His face was in a sock, but I could see the silver hawk watching us nearby. And with all of my strength, I pushed the man far from me, to the edge, losing his balance and..

  He grabbed me by the cloak, and I went down with him.

  YOU STILL KNOW NOTHING

  When I woke up on the hard ground, nothing was hurting. Even if I were in a pool of blood. But there was no wound from me. However, looking to the left, I found Hermes trying to rest Zimu’s eyes in peace. His head broke in half, his neck was twisted, and his bones were all smashed.

  ‘’Are you happy with this?’’Rasped Hermes.

  ‘’It’s been twenty years’’Hermes grunted into his room and hid in a corner.

  ‘’I told you that you need to find out what is happening to her.’’

  ‘’And I told you’’Zimu’s voice. ‘’That if you want answers, you need to pay me more than that.’’

  Hermes stayed silent while I could feel my chest stinging from the embarrassment. Of course, he lied. Everything was a lie, and I fell for it.

  Hermes finally gave him a small sack of the rest of the money, and Zimu’s eyes brightened with greed.

  ‘’She fails every ritual,’’ he explained. ‘’If she has any actual power, then it is not what you think.’’

  Hermes’ brow arched, and he tried to look around.

  ‘’Anything else?’’ He asked.

  And Zimu moved his hands behind his back.’’Your wife seems to search for something around the tablets, scrolls, even outside.’’

  There was an interest in drawing Hermes close to him.

  ‘’But she doesn’t seem to trust me yet, not as much as…’’His words were cut off like a knife. ‘’As you, sir.’’

  Hermes hummed and now stood up and walked closer to his servant. ‘’Flattery doesn’t work on me as hard as you think’’

  There was a dark void in Zimu’s eyes. ‘’I did everything you asked, I even played the servant while you were in my role.’’His hands slammed the desk. ‘’And you are also ruining my business.’’

  And disguised Hermes turned into Zimu’s form and let out a wide smile while he turned Zimu to Ea Nasir.

  ‘’You might have been a priest, and a merchant, but now, you work for me.’’

  Zimu’s eyes looked above and smiled. ‘’For a price, right?’’

  Hermes’ smile faded for a moment.

  ‘’So I heard that you will go to the caravans with her?’’

  Zimu nodded.

  ‘’So, you too grew closer…’’Hermes grew even more curious now.

  Zimu nodded again.

  ‘’How did you do that?’’

  ‘’Your wife is not a complicated thing.’’He let out a smirk. ‘’I simply told her what her empty mind wanted to listen.’’

  I was tricked and humiliated like a fool. He made me feel that I got a chance of strength, power, a chance that someone would actually…

  How dare this man do it to me? Why would I let him survive? Why did I let Hermes win?

  ‘’Yes’’ I answered Hermes with my gaze looking down at him.