Pitch dark. Not shadowy, not dim. Just nothing.
The crystal pulsed cheerfully in the void:
Encounter Initiated: Troglodytes. Visibility: None. Attempts: Pending.
“Uh…” Harlada whispered. “I can’t see my hands.”
“Same,” Bert said. “Or my cleaver. Or your hands. Which is a shame.”
Leo adjusted his glasses — pointlessly, since even light refused to exist. “Remain calm. We must remember our racial traits.”
They froze.
“Half-orc,” Leo declared proudly, tapping his chest. “Technically, I possess darkvision. Ergo, I should be able to—”
The crystal pulsed again, smug letters cutting him off:
Correction: Half-orcs possess low-light vision. Functionally useless here.
“…oh,” Leo muttered.
Harlada squinted at nothing. “Wait, am I a half-elf or a full elf? Half-elves get darkvision, right?”
“No,” Leo said automatically.
“Yes they do!”
“They don’t.”
“Do so!”
“Statistically impossible,” he sniffed.
The crystal chimed, text scrolling across the darkness:
Reminder: Half-elves possess low-light vision, not darkvision. You idiots.
Bert groaned. “Then what about me?”
“You’re human,” Leo said.
“Yeah, but like… a strong human. Maybe that counts?”
The crystal pulsed once more:
Human vision: 100% useless.
Something hissed in the dark. Dozens of tiny footsteps scraped across the stone.
“…Okay,” Harlada whispered, “so we can’t see, they can see, and this is fine. Totally fine.”
“Correction,” Leo said tightly. “This is catastrophic.”
The crystal pulsed with smug delight.
***
A spark fizzled. Then a blinding flash split the dark.
For three glorious milliseconds, the chamber lit up like a festival lantern: dripping stalactites overhead, claw marks gouged into the walls, and a three troglodytes crouched in the corners, their eyes glowing yellow like angry lanterns.
Then darkness crashed back in.
“I saw them!” Harlada shouted, still blinking stars. “New plan: I blast lightning, you two hit whatever moves!”
“Finally. A strategy,” Leo muttered.
Another flash. The world flickered back into existence—
Leo’s quill lashed forward like a spear.
Straight into Bert’s thigh.
“AAAAAARGH!” Bert bellowed.
“It was a silhouette!” Leo protested.
Bert swung his cleaver blind in retaliation. The blade connected with something soft, something bookish.
Leo dropped instantly.
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Warrior Leo Vince – HP: -10. Cause of Death: Friendly Fire.
“YOU KILLED HIM!” Harlada shrieked.
“He stabbed me first!” Bert snapped back.
Another spark. Another flash. Harlada aimed for the nearest silhouette and unleashed everything.
Bert howled as lightning danced over his armor, flinging him against the wall.
His cleaver clattered away.
His body smoked faintly.
The crystal pulsed again:
Rogue Bouldering Bert – HP: -15. Cause of Death: Partner Incompetence.
Harlada spun, breath ragged, hands shaking. “Okay. Just me. Just me versus—”
Three troglodyte spears whistled through the air.
She had just enough time to mutter “not fair” before they skewered her like a hedgehog kabob.
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The crystal pulsed with barely suppressed laughter:
Mage Harlada Houdini – HP: -∞. Cause of Death: Actual Enemies.
Darkness fell silent once more.
***
Attempt: 4.
They reappeared coughing smoke and gravel in the pit.
Bert jabbed a finger across to Leo. “This is your fault.”
“My fault?” Leo snapped. “You decapitated me.”
“Because you stabbed me first!”
“That was tactical probing!”
Harlada groaned, sparks still sizzling off her hair. “Shut up, both of you. I fried Bert by accident. That’s clearly on me.”
Silence. Then Bert blinked. “…Wait. You admit it?”
“Yes!” she shouted. “I admit it! We’re all terrible!”
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Achievement Unlocked: Self-Awareness. Reward: None.
Before anyone could argue further, the ground rumbled.
“Oh no,” Leo whispered. “Not again.”
A shadow loomed in the darkness. Something massive rolled toward them, grinding stone into gravel.
“…Is that—” Harlada began.
The boulder smashed through them like paper. Screams, crunches, splinters. Darkness again.
Attempt: 5.
They reappeared, groaning. The crystal pulsed with a long scroll of text:
Reminder: Progression requires competency. Gold tier exhausted. Silver door remains. Last attempt pending.
The three stared at the pulsing crystal high on the ceiling.
Bert cracked his knuckles. “Okay. One more try. No thinking. Just smash.”
Leo adjusted his glasses, voice shaking. “Incorrect. Strategy is mandatory.”
Harlada sighed, sparks flickering in her palms. “…Fine. But if I fry either of you again, it’s on purpose.”
They quickly moved themselves out of the pit.
***
Bert slammed a fist against the door. “I’m done dying in the dark. Next time, we just smash.”
Leo rubbed his temples. “Incorrect. Brute force fails without visibility. We require… illumination.” He looked At harlada, “but one a minute is not enough.”
Harlada raised her hands. Sparks fizzled, lighting the surroundings for a blink. “See? I can throw these. Little lightning. Doesn’t hurt anything. But it shows shapes for, like, a quarter second.”
They froze.
Leo’s eyes widened. “Of course. A cycle. Stroboscopic combat. You flash the room, switch positions, then we strike in sequence. Repeat until victory.”
Bert frowned. “Translation?”
“Zap, then stab,” Leo said flatly.
Bert grinned. “Finally, a plan I understand.”
They leaned together, whispering out the rhythm:
- Harlada flashes.
- Leo and Bert swing.
- Switch positions.
- Repeat.
“Fine,” Harlada muttered. “But if either of you hit me again, I’m frying you on purpose.”
“Deal,” Leo said tightly.
“Can’t promise,” Bert added cheerfully.
The crystal pulsed smugly above them:
Strategy Detected. Probability of Success: Still Low.
The silver door yawned open, mist curling from its frame.
Together, they stepped into the Dimension of Troglodytes.
***
The door groaned shut behind them. Darkness swallowed the chamber whole.
Flick—Harlada’s spark lit the room. Three troglodytes hissed, their pale eyes gleaming. Then black again.
“Go!” Leo barked.
They moved in rhythm. Flick. Harlada darted forward, light flashing across slick stone. Bert’s cleaver swung, Leo jabbed with his quill-spear. One troglodyte dropped with a choking gurgle.
Flick. Dark.
Flick. Light again. Second troglodyte reeled back, chest split by a clumsy but effective cleave. It collapsed with a wet thud.
The crystal pulsed reluctantly:
Troglodyte 2/3 defeated. Competence Level: Mild.
They were almost smiling when it happened.
The third one—the smart one—was gone from the corner.
“Where did—” Harlada began.
Steel bit her side. She screamed, staggering. Another flash revealed the troglodyte crouched behind them, teeth bared, spear dripping.
It lunged again, sinking the blade into Leo’s ribs before the light vanished.
He gasped. “Not… in the notes…”
Bert’s roar shook the chamber. “NO ONE STABS MY PROFESSOR!”
He charged blind, cleaver swinging in a storm. The next flash showed the troglodyte split nearly in half, its corpse skidding across the stone.
It also showed Harlada clutching her shoulder, scorched and bleeding.
And Leo, who had just been clipped in the knee by Bert’s backswing.
The crystal pulsed cheerfully:
Party Status: Mage HP 1. Warrior HP 2. Rogue HP: Still Too High.
Harlada groaned, sparks twitching in her hair. “I hate you both.”
Leo wheezed, blood dripping onto his notes. “Statistically… predictable.”
Bert flexed, chest heaving. “But we won.”
Light bloomed across the chamber at last, torches flickering to life as if the dungeon itself was finally bored. The corpses dissolved into mist.
A pedestal rose from the floor, dripping with slime. On it sat a small pouch and a dull, glowing gem.
The crystal pulsed smugly:
Encounter Cleared. Reward Generated. Attempt: 5.
They staggered toward it, limping, bruised, and half-dead—
but victorious.