[TIME UNTIL BATTLE BEGINS: 00:15:00]

  The System spoke alongside the messages, but it wasn’t having a conversation. The mechanical voice was making announcements that all of us could hear. It was loud enough to stir Carmen, who sat up, rubbing at her bleary eyes. Kaelyn opened her eyes too. She hadn’t been sleeping, just waiting. Kian and Charlotte had turned to the rest of us, as we all focused on the messages. I took a sip of my tea.

  [PARTICIPANT CHAMPIONS]

  | Baraka, the Defiler | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: D |

  | Planet: 664,126 | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: C |

  | Seraphia, the Enchantress | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: B |

  | Planet: 663,167 | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: B |

  | Vatius, the Hunter | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: A |

  | Planet: 662,479 | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: A |

  | River, the Thief | Power Tier: Common | Rank: D |

  | Planet: 666,666 | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: S |

  | Ezian, the Chivalrous | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: A |

  | Planet: 661,953 | Power Tier: Rare | Rank: S |

  | Balagun, the Conqueror | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: E |

  | Planet: 661,141 | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: F |

  | Qados, the Educator | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: C |

  | Planet: 660,981 | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: E |

  | Iwenna, the Virtuous | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: C |

  | Planet: 659,312 | Power Tier: Epic | Rank: D |

  Surely, the System could think of something better than ‘the Thief.’ How about ‘the Gambler’ or ‘the Supreme,’ you know? I wonder what it would take to have it change my name?

  Then there was the disparity in the ranks. I was a Common, rank D, whatever that meant, but Earth was Rare, rank S. I recalled when the System first came online. Earth had been rank C then, before it had recalibrated after detection of the Divine artifact. But then looking at some of the Champions, their power rank was higher than their world’s.

  [VICTORY CONDITIONS]

  | DOMINATION |

  | CAPTURE THE FLAGS |

  | KILL THE CHAMPIONS |

  [VICTORY SPOILS]

  [Victor receives the losing Champions’ worlds as their vassal worlds.]

  [Dear Citizens of planet 666,666, AKA Earth. Since this will be your inaugural participation in the Universal Survival Protocol – and lest I need to remind you, that is due to River, the Thief sticking his nose into business that didn’t concern him – I will present you with an understanding of how the Protocol works.]

  I was looking forward to the explanation, so I had a decent idea of what to expect, but come on – did it need to remind everyone? Really? Why did it hate me? I looked over at Carmen. Wait, was she hiding a grin? I glared at her as the System continued.

  [Everything I am about to say will also be sent to your personal devices, so that you can refer to it in your own time and not bother me.]

  We had gotten rid of all of our personal devices, except Charlotte’s mother’s phone. After I’d told them what had happened, none of us wanted to take the chance, but felt Charlotte’s parents were far enough removed from me that the authorities probably wouldn’t be looking for them, and even if they were, they’d be unlikely to track them looking for me.

  [As you may have guessed by now – or maybe not given the lack of intelligence on this world – the Universal Survival Protocol is a Universe spanning battle. The rank of your world is predicated on the defensive and offensive capabilities of your world’s armies, your Champion, and others who have risen to the level of Heroes. The Champion of a world is the one that the Heroes have chosen to represent them in the current battle, or in the case of Earth, the one who holds the Divine Artifact. In future battles, you will also have the option to select your Champion.]

  Stolen story; please report.

  [Once battle begins, alongside the battle between armies and Champions, various flora and fauna, not necessarily indigenous to your world will spawn in various locations, and the existing flora and fauna may be enhanced. There will be some other terraforming or evolution required for your world – a mountain here, a lake there, that sort of thing. Of course, you may go about your daily lives as you wish, but if you get eaten or fall into a canyon, don’t say I didn’t warn you.]

  We all frowned at each other at that one. It didn’t really apply to us though. It wasn’t like we could go back to our daily lives.

  [Victory conditions are finalised upon the initiation of the Universal Survival Protocol. There are a minimum of two conditions and a maximum of six. Since I know humans like to be spoon-fed their information – sometimes from very questionable sources – even though the conditions are self-explanatory, I will take you through them.]

  [Domination – requires each world to reduce other participants’ worlds to less than five percent of their current populations. This can be achieved by securing the gates by which each world arrives and using them to go on the offensive on those other worlds. Should any world reduce below the five percent limit, they are eliminated and attacking forces must withdraw from attacking them further until the end of the current battle.]

  [Capture the Flag – each Champion is given a flag via their System interface. They must defend their own flag, whilst trying to capture four of the seven other flags. Flags can be moved, or they can be planted and defended. Flag locations are always visible on the map. If a Champion’s world manages to secure a majority of the flags, they must hold the flags for 0.025 Universal Years, or 64 Earth days.]

  [Kill the Champions – if a Champion is killed, their world is eliminated and must await the results. Even though the Divine artifact is a Universal quest item, should River, the Thief be killed, Earth will be eliminated from this battle.]

  [The limit on the time to achieve any type of victory is 0.1 Universal Years, or 252 Earth days.]

  My friends all looked at me, but I could see them thinking like I was. That last condition might actually work in my favour somewhat. Well, hopefully. Once people realised that my death would mean the elimination of Earth and all that entailed, maybe I could use that to my advantage. Maybe I could get help to stay alive. Up until now, this had all been about my own survival. But now, the survival of Earth was at stake. I was hoping that would bring us together. Earth survives. But more importantly, my friends and I survive.

  Carmen got up from the armchair and came over to the sofa, snuggling next to me, legs curled to her side. She gave me a little peck on my shoulder before resting her head on it.

  [The victorious world will receive the other Champions’ worlds as their vassal worlds and are free to do with those worlds as they wish. Vassal worlds are not excluded from further battles and can be won by other worlds, or free themselves with a victory.]

  [TIME UNTIL BATTLE BEGINS: 00:10:00]

  [Still with me? Good, let’s continue for those of you who are smart enough to understand the implications. Not many, I know.]

  [Now that the victory conditions have been explained, I will explain your interface and how the battle works for you individually.]

  [You can say “Status” to view your information screen. Here you will be presented with some basic information about yourself, coupled with any enhancements or abilities you have]

  [You can say “Options” to view your interface. On that screen, there will be four options.]

  [Universal Survival Protocol Status, Quests, Universal Survival Protocol Exchange, and Map]

  [The Universal Survival Protocol Status will inform you of the current standings. The percentage population remaining of each world from the starting value, which worlds have captured flags, and which Champions have been killed]

  [Quests are periodically offered by the System as well as non-participating worlds across the Universal Survival Protocol. The battle is broadcasted to all worlds, and any world can offer quests. Of course, all quests will offer rewards.

  Depending on the quest, the rewards can be global, meaning all those that are citizens of the world that completes the quest will share in the rewards – even if most of you are undeserving of it – or quests can be individual and party. Quests can also be distributed to specific individuals – generally, these tend to be the Champions and Heroes of their worlds.]

  [Champions will have quests to unlock certain information to assist them. Those quests will be available shortly. Non-participating worlds can only offer quests after 0.0028 UY has elapsed, or 7 days in Earth time.]

  Honestly, I was glad we’d kept Charlotte’s mum’s phone. This was a lot of info to remember, and I was sure we’d need to refer back to it. I tried to remember the conversation with the System a few hours ago. The defences and attacks were no longer available, because the System was too dumb and started the USP, and from the sounds of it, I wouldn’t be getting access to the defensive structures any time soon. With the flag being visible on the map, that was a target on my back that I would rather not have to keep on me.

  [The Universal Survival Protocol Exchange is a place where participants may trade with me – The System – or with each other, or with non-participating worlds. Items available for trade include physical enhancements, mana-based abilities, consumables and whatever else people want to trade. Yes, even that crumbling bedframe that you think you can sell.

  The currency of the USPE is SE Coins. Everyone on Earth starts with a certain value. SE Coins can be gained from kills, quests and trading on the USPE. If I’m feeling generous, I might throw in some freebies now and again.]

  [Finally, you have the map. This is just a map of your world but should the Champions fulfil their quest objectives, they will gain access to the gate locations for the other Champions, as well as spawn locations for the flora and fauna. They will be able to offer this information to all participants of their own world, should they so wish. They may trade that information in the USPE, freely or for a price.]

  [I hope this suffices for an overview of the Universal Survival Protocol. Should you have any questions, please keep them to yourselves.]

  [Finally, to the citizens of Earth. Good luck.]

  [Even with luck, you will not survive, with River, the Thief as your Champion.]

  “System,” I called out, after the blue screen had disappeared.

  [“What do you want, thief? Were the guidelines not enough for you? Do you need me to hold your hand?”]

  I stuttered. Remained quiet a second while I thought. Truth was, I did want more information, but USPSM didn’t seem to be in the mood. “Well, I just wondered whether we can still talk to you?”

  [“About?”]

  “Well, nothing in particular. I just wondered whether I’d hear from you again?”

  [“You can always call on the System or call me USPSM. Whichever you prefer, but as you know, I cannot assist you in this battle. I wouldn’t want to in any case. You are not worthy of the stone.”]

  “That’s not what you said to the Pantheon.”

  [“I found your defiance against Melkarieth amusing. I thought it would be more amusing when you doom your world.”]

  “Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. Well, even though you can’t assist me, I’m sure there’s still information you are allowed to provide, like the history of the USP?”

  [“Perhaps, but let’s look at the odds. You have no special skills, no discernible qualities and if it weren’t for your friends, and the generosity of the Pantheon, you would be dead already. Let’s see how long you survive the Protocol, and if you do, perhaps I will give you information then. Now, I suggest you familiarise yourself with the interface. Good luck.”]

  [TIME UNTIL BATTLE BEGINS: 00:05:00]