Hello there dear Reader,

  This diary is meant to keep my presence and identity from vanishing. A selfish request although when seeing my story, understandable. Let's start with everything that makes me, "me".

  Firstly I was born in a world called Limpa. A planet floating in space with a round surface. The date of my reincarnation is the 34.12.-22. My soul seems to have found its' place in a normal human body. Ever since I took my first breath I was conscious, plagued with an unwilling soul. Memories which were not mine filled my head from time to time which caused me to have the understanding and mental capacity of a normal adult at the age of 10.

  In my young years I lived in Caelum. With a naval invasion from the enemy Kingdom Lotz, the Caelum troops seized property to make the nobles still live lavishly during the war. My first parents (I was 0-4 years old), and the most caring, were farmers, executed for treason for hiding food for themselves. The soldiers took me and brought me to a noble with no direct heir. Said noble had the name of Kathaza of Gruth. Even writing her name fills my conscious with anger. She saw me as a backup for keeping the power in her family until her nephew was old enough to take over when she dies.

  The day after my arrival at the manor I was assigned to a personal teacher. The teacher was as ruthless as the lady and would hit me at the slightest mistake or embarrass me in front of the snobby servants. My plan consisted of eating, learning, sleeping. Nothing else. Nothing.

  After becoming 10 years old I lost control of my body. I already had memories of someone else in my head, as normal for my syndrome, but it differs from the description in my case. Those weren't vivid, wild memories with no attachment. They were collected and rational. Sometimes while sleeping I would see the memories of the person loud and clear. These memories belong to a person called Akhul Zergart. He was a resident in Vitali Gerundian before the Fey War.

  His life consisted of farming, hunting and caring for his family, but not as we do it today. Everyone around him was cold. As if emotions didn't exist. During the revisiting of his memories I also felt nothing. I was actually so calm and collected it was scary. When the Fey War came, Akhul was ordered by a god to fight and leave his family behind. With no protest he went to the front and slayed a lot of feys. Elves, Orcs, Goblins, Bugbears and even Hags. That was also the first thing I really felt. Adrenalin. Not produced automatically but rather as if someone else activated it before and during battle. One day though the army arrived at a fey outpost with many injured feys and there were two elves huddling in a corner. Eyes wide and filled with fear. They had some sort of vial and threw it on Akhul as he came closer. Taken aback, he stumbled a bit.

  Enraged he smashed them to paste with his warhammer but as soon as he smelled the blood in the air, he began thinking. And feeling. Frozen in place, he began to comprehend the suppressed feelings for the first time and puked. "I was enraged? Rage? Disgust? Sorrow? R-regret?" He questioned the pile of meat in front of him. Akhul ran outside the tent to catch his breath and saw his companions, dragging people in a massive ditch. As he continued to stay in place and watch, someone asked him what was wrong and Akhul looked in his empty eyes and feared him. The stoic expression paired with the blood dripping from him made him piss himself. "Are you poisoned?", "NO!", Akhul exclaimed and pushed the man away. As an answer the man swung his sword towards Akhul, who managed to roll away. "ENEMY! ENEMY HERE!", the man shouted and everyone turned their heads towards them. As if they were controlled.

  Akhul fled the scene with his former group in pursuit.

  Then I woke up in my basement room, drenched.

  The teacher bursted in my room and pulled my blanket away and fully exposed my wetted sheets. I was punished severely. Right as I saw the fist coming, my eyes closed and my mind went blank. I heard a voice. "How long do you want to endure this, parasite?" When I opened my eyes again, the teacher was on the floor with a twisted neck. I screamed and fell on the floor.

  Servants came rushing in and called the guards. I was interrogated as to what happened and I told them what happened. Foolish of me. The guards escorted me to my room and threw me in there on top of the corpse of the teacher. The door closed and was locked. I banged on the door and pleaded to be let out or at least dispose of the body. There was only silence. For 3 days.

  No food, water or anything. Not even light. I pushed the corpse into a corner of the room and heard sometimes how rats ate parts of the body.

  Then I finally heard knocking and my "mother" calling my name. Crying, I went to the door and begged for something to eat or drink but my pleads fell on deaf ears. Kathaza spat on the door, "Die already, abomination. You should be grateful that you will not be executed and instead die in an insignificant, dark room, below everyone's feet, as usual for vermin".

  I was standing in front of the door. Unable to process what she said. That was the moment where even the slightest bit of "love" for her vanished. "Free me or you will regret it, bitch," I mumbled to myself. Kathaza stomped on the floor and swung the door open, striking my face. "YOU DISRESPECTFUL INSECT!" She fell into a fit of rage and began beating me relentlessly. Some of the painful hits were accompanied by cracking bones. Giving up, I laid on my side and waited.

  Suddenly a jolt of energy went through my body and I dodged her next punch. The two guards drew their swords. Kathaza laughed and said "You're just a fly, so die like one!" She then grabbed a sword and sprinted at me. I saw memories of Akhul again, how he defeated a much stronger Bugbear in the same-ish situation. As the woman brought her sword down I rolled away and grabbed a fork from my nightstand and forced it under her kneecap. Kathaza cried out and slapped my face. The guards were about to intervene but she stops them. "This, this is my problem! I need to take care of this pest!" And she begun to swing wildly pushing me into the corner with the corpse. I fell on top of it and she swung her sword overhead toward me. I put my arms in front of my face and... nothing happened.

  I looked up and saw her struggling. The sword was stuck in the air and she wasn't able to move it. After blinking multiple times, I saw a translucent blue-ish spirit stopping the sword before looking at me and flying inside of me. With no more control over my body, as if I had become a spectator, it began moving. My body masterfully dodged her attacks in a taunting manner. "Damn, even rats fight better then you, you ugly ooze", my mouth blurted out. Upon hearing this she stroked with full force but my body grabbed the blade and disarmed her. I held the sword as if it was a toothpick. "My turn".

  With one strike Kathaza's stomach was slit open and she fell to the ground, gasping for air. Her two guards came at me but using the weakspots in their plate armor, my body afflicted many cuts on their body, armpits, kneecaps, throat, ... , making them pass out from blood loss and then finishing them.

  I lingered above Kathaza and looked at her with disgust. My body spits on her, "You die like vermin, underneath my feet". The sword pierced her heart making her gasp one last time before she fell limp. I watched the light from her eyes vanish. After that, my body said: "I don't want to die, Parasite. So don't even think about it. I have a mission and you will not get in my way", my body sat on Kathaza's corpse, "So how about a deal? I will offer you my strength to the best of my ability and for that you will lend me your body, so I can do my task. But for that you need to become stronger. This body will only get you to one place. A grave. Hear my advice and let me guide you". "I accept", my mind utters. "Thank you and don't worry, just wait here. Rescue is coming, but I need to regain strength again, so you're in control. Good luck, Parasite".

  As I sat there in shock, the smell of blood invaded my nose and branded it's smell in it. I don't know how long I sat there but suddenly I was snapped out of it by the appearance of a fully plated knight wearing blue insignias. He reached out his hand and I grabbed it. "Everything will be fine now", said the knight in a muffled voice. He led me out of the basement, through the main hall and then outside. While I got escorted, the sight of death took over the manor. Corpses littered everywhere with a rust colored hue in the air, making it look like a tragic old painting.

  We walked up to a group of knights, who looked like my guide, but one was different. He was far more bulky and the armor looked as if it had seen the whole war from the start. "Who is this sweet little girl? Your daughter? Haha". An old firm voice came from the bulky knight. "Ha, I wish, but no. She seemed to have been property of the manor's mistress. Oh and by the way, she killed her", said the knight nonchalant. Shocked I looked up at him and his cold helmet stared back at me. "Really? Poor girl. She had to kill at such a young age-","There were also more bodies", the knight interrupted the old knight. "Hm? Whose bodies were there?", the old man's voice changed from soft and firm to an interrogating tone. "The mistress Kathaza, 2 guards and a scholar/teacher"."How did you kill them young lady? Did someone help you?", the old knight turned to me and opened his visior, revealing an old, wrinkly, scar ridden face. One of his eyes was a normal blue and the other a deep gold.

  "AVERT YOUR GAZE!", a voice in my brain shouted. Snapping back to myself, I looked away. It felt like I was being pulled in a trance. "Oh sorry, I shouldn't scare you like that, especially not after everything you've been through. Kilian, escort her to the Cook so she can eat and rest"."Yes! Commander Yerts!", the knight answered. Kilian. This name will appear often in this diary.

  Kilian brought me to Jelsen Freg, the Cook. He made some of the best stews I ever ate. Jelsen gave me a bowl with some wild mushroom stew which had such an incredible smell, that I immediately ate it, as soon as it cooled down. I thought that the knights would laugh at me for devouring the stew but instead they had a cold, angry look in their faces, almost as if they felt what I went through.

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  Later I got clothed and followed the soldiers of Lotz, as they fought their way towards the nearest harbor for their ships to arrive. Kilian was my de facto foster parent and took care of me. He taught me things that I needed in this world. Empathy, kindness and even l-love... Akhul hadn't made himself known, ever since I was with the soldiers. I thought it was because he didn't want to interfere with my training and experiences but I was wrong.

  On a random day the commander called me over and out of instinct I looked him in the eyes. His eyes weren't normal. The pupils were gone and a huge room full of stairs was in their place. I kept looking into his eyes and felt kind of drawn in. The longer I stared, the more it felt like I was walking on those stairs. I lost control of my body yet again and it stormed the commander and rams a finger in his eye.

  But the finger didn't do anything. It went inside his eye and reached in the corridors. Then my body grabbed his sword and without any time to react, pierced his body. And yet, he still didn't budge.

  "You're quiet exquisite. One of a kind", Yerts said calmly but intrigued. I blinked and then stairs appeared in front of me. My gaze wandered down the steps and kept looping in this endless labyrinth. "Who are you?", Yerts' voice asked in my head. My brain said my name and Akhul at the same time. "Hm", Yerts' voice paused for a moment "Akhul, may I have the honor to speak to you?" "And what do you want, demon?" Akhul scoffed. "I want to make an acquaintance with you, nothing more. Isn't it bad behavior to not talk to the person that feeds your vessel?" Yerts paused. "It seems that way. But only if the "person" was actually a person". "You're so mean! I'm kind of hurt actually. Bashing an old man like this", Yerts sarcastically said. "Now stop that". With that a cold shiver ran down my spine. "Slowly exposing your true self, souleater? Cretin of this wonderful plane? Disgrace of the cycle". "You done? Don't bother with that puppy. All bark and no bite", Yerts voice became more aggressive. "I wanted you as an ally, but you know too much".

  The stairs changed. The steps clapped down and turned into smooth ramps and I sled down on them. "HEar Me pAraSiTe. yOu MusT loOk FoR tHe bLuE dOOr", Akhul said, his voice weird and distorted. As I kept sliding I looked everywhere. But it's all gray. Glass shards shot out from the ramp's surface. I narrowly avoided most of them, but one sliced my foot open, leaving a trail of blood behind. Panicked I looked around more hastily to find the door, but there was still nothing. 'What if it already went by? Am I doomed?' As I slid down further those cursed corridors, I lost hope. My clothes were now ripped and the rough surface began ripping my skin off as I slid further. Sense of time got lost in this purgatory. Consumed by pain and despair, I put my head up front and tried to split my head open on a wall.

  As it was drawing near, in fear I jumped away in the last second. The jump may have been a mistake. While my body was finally off that wretched ground it came back fast. I braced myself for impact and then a sharp pain went through my arms. The bones were sticking out. Shattered. Screaming and crying I looked for help but I was alone. The pain numbed my mind and I couldn't perceive nor think. But then I realized. I didn't slide anymore. Instead I was on a flat platform. My gaze slowly wandered up and I saw the blue door. Quickly I rushed to it, but something in the air didn't want to let me through. I was able to easily rip it apart and when I finally opened it, I saw the outside world again.

  The fresh air filled my nostrils just as I heard screams. Faces stared at me in horror and I looked down to see Yerts face. I crawled out of his eye! But... He smiled.

  "That's a first I have to admit", he calmly said as I was still stuck inside his eye socket, "The fella you share your body with, Akhul, seems to be very strong. And VERY rebellious. How about a deal?" He shook his head and I fell to the ground. Everyone was looking at us in terror and some knights were nervously holding their weapons.

  "Akhul, ancient soldier. You saw what I showed you. The little one doesn't. Will you accept?", Yerts reached out to me. My hand moved on it's own and then it split. A spectral blueish arm emerged out of mine. The arm was packed with muscles, so much so, that it seemed like even the fingers alone could crush skulls. "A-Akhul?", I quietly mutter. The arm hesitated for a bit, but at the end reached out to Yerts and grabbed his hand. Yerts smile widened as quick as it faded.

  In a second Yerts' hand exploded, crushed by Akhul, sending blood and bone fragments flying. Just then, the rest of Akhul appeared and rammed his two hands in Yerts' throat and ripped it apart, sending his head flying too.

  The body of the commander falls limp and his head rolls on the ground. Laughter erupts: "Oh you stupid stupid STUPID IMBECILE". The head of Yerts' said. "My deal was perfect, so why? Why Akhul, The Tide Turner?" "It's quite simple honestly". The spectre answered. "I don't deal with warlocks, demons or anything of that category. If I rely on other's power, then I'm weak. Hierarchy doesn't apply to me because I always tumble them. You saw it and yet you decided to offer such a lowly deal, scum". Akhul smiled, "A terrorizing weakling like you, fits such an end perfectly. Biting the grass, literally".

  "YOU WILL REGRET THIS. THE RESTRAINTS OF YOUR HUMA-", before Yerts was able to continue, a large steel pot came down on his head. Smashing it for good. "Yikes", scoffs the cook, Jelsen Freg.

  "Who would've thought? Seems like it wasn't all tales and stories", Jelsen turned to me, Akhul had already vanished again. "I'm sorry girlie". In the blink of an eye I suddenly had 3 knives inside my body. Jelsen's face was contorted by guilt and fear. The warmth of my blood soothed me. I wasn't even in pain anymore. 'Maybe I should close my eyes and let this nightmare end? Perhaps my parents will greet me when I open them again...'

  "Oh by the fucking gods. Giving up again? Is life to hard? Should Mama cuddle yo- oh wait, I forgot.", Akhul was talking to me in a disrespectful manner again. "What is it, you bastard? My life has been hell ever since YOU chose to go into my body at birth. Forced yourself in my already filled out brain and made it completely cramped. I hope that when I die now, I won't see you in the afterlife". Akhul laughed. His laughter sounded genuine. "Finally you show some bite! That's what I wanted to see!" Akhul cleared his throat: "Open your eyes".

  I obliged and saw a group of soldiers staring at me in shock. As my eyes darted around to look for Jelsen, I found him pinned to a wagon with bloody knives. The same ones which had been inside of me.

  "Are you okay?!", a voice rang out from the crowd. It's Kilian. His concern was not directed at me, instead it was for Jelsen. He rushed towards him. Jelsen was like a frozen statue. I stood there and watched in disbelief, because I thought I was betrayed yet again. "Everyone hates me. Everyone thinks I'm a monster. They want to kill me". Those thoughts took over my mind while Kilian freed Jelsen from the wagon.

  "How dare you kill our commander and attack one of us, even though we saved you?! Run! Before I cut you down myself!" Anger filled my being. Accused of something I didn't do yet again. All because of him, Akhul. I couldn't do it anymore. Out of pure rage I lunged forward and punched Kilians torso. His chestplate dented from the force of my hit and as he stumbled back, my other hand smoothly ripped his sword out of the sheath. The long blade weighs nothing in my hand, and so I turned it towards myself and-, "What are you doing? Do you plan on killing me? Killing yourself? That's just beyond stupid. The ones you should kill are those surrounding us. Hack and slash until you're done".

  A brief silence took over the field as everyone watched me. Kilian's eyes were full of disgust. The hurt caused by his gaze was a reinforcement of my existing thoughts. Soon after, swords were drawn around me. "Now that's interesting! Let's see how far my kind evolved since then", Akhul said as darkness slowly tried to engulf my being and conscience.

  "No", I uttered and fought it, trying to stay conscious. "Those people have shown me a world I hadn't ever dreamed of experiencing. I am content with dying". Akhul fell silent and the darkness faded. "The week that I was with them was more enjoyable than the rest of my life". The sword still lied in my hand I contemplated my end. Tears filled my eyes as I flipped the sword and pointed the tip towards my heart. My strength vanished and my body fell towards the blade. Darkness was all I saw again until a loud "clank" sound appeared in front of me. With my eyes open, I saw the sword on the ground with a pot next to it. Jelsen held a posture as if he had thrown something.

  Before I was able to comprehend the situation, someone rushed me to the ground. I struggled in vain while the knights tied my hands and feet. Lastly they put a gag in my mouth and a blindfold over my eyes. "What should we do now without our commander? What do we do with her?" "We obviously continue our advance, as for her... the vote shall decide". The knights lifted me up and carried me somewhere.

  They came to a stop and threw me in a room. I heard them lock the door and walk away. Exhausted, I just fell asleep and let my dreams carry me away...

  Eat. Kill. Sleep...

  Eat. Kill. Sleep...

  Eat. Ki...

  I was in a forest. I examined myself. Cuts, scratches, blood. Mine or someone elses? My knees were busted open. When I bended my knee I saw it moving back and forth.

  Footsteps. I was scared. Scared? 'Is that what fear feels like?' They were combing through the forest like a well organised team of dwarvish warforged. I went deeper inside the burrow of the overgrown tree.

  Suddenly, they stopped. I sensed something too. I huddled deeper inside and tensed up. One let out a battle cry and soon all of the others joined them. A clash was heard between my kind and some fey creature.

  I smelled blood. More and more seemed to die to this creature. A ripped off head rolled into my hideout and left a trail of blood. It tipped over and looked at me. It smiled.

  I'm fucked. I know how we work, function and operate. I am the priority target. They would ignore everything else just to kill me. Doesn't matter if their life is at stake, since many aren't alive in the first place. Or never were.

  That's when I see a figure coming into my tree. It is-

  I woke up as food was passed through underneath the door. Memories of my time in the mansion came back but only this time the food smelled and looked amazing. "Perfect way to dispose of us", Akhul chimed in, "I'm fairly certain this is poisoned". "How do you know that it is poisonous? We haven't even observed it really". "We? You mean yourself. Look at the food, closely". I investigated the lunch before me. It was a buttered cooked piece of meat with some nice beans, corn and parsley. It also came with a side of grilled potatoes and mustard sauce.

  "I see it. I want to eat it. It's absolutely delicious. Thanks for pointing out, what a wonderful dish is in front of me Akhul". "Are you blind, stupid and/or suicidal? If you're that stupid from birth then eat it and get it over with. Would do my kind a favor". "Well, what's wrong with it all knowing philosopher Akhul? Should the meat be rare?"

  I slightly lost control of my body. "Look at this", Akhul said. We looked at the piece of meat. "See how dense it is? The muscles aren't relaxed even though it's prepared and cooked". He has a point bu- "And also. Why didn't they say anything? Normally food will be announced. Haven't heard any chit chat from the guards outside either. To top it all off. This food is too good for a not liked prisoner". He was right. This did look very suspicious.

  My body kicked the plate away and I started having seizures. "What are you doing Akhul?!" "Relax", he says, "I fake the supposed symptoms of the poison. Hopefully it'll convince our assassin, that we are kicking the bucket. It isn't the first time I see a poison like this. My bet is they will look inside and see if we're dead after I fall limp". "How do you know what the symptoms are? We don't even know what poison it is". I couldn't see him but I could feel him smile, "First hand experience".