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20 - TIME OUT

  Teleportation Initiated.

  I zipped through the cosmic bendy straw network inside the green teleportation cocoon. This time I knew what I was in for, and clamped a hand over my mouth as I fought to keep my food down. After a few minutes of sudden and violent jerky movement, the ride was over.

  Teleportation Complete.

  Location: Dull, Scotland

  The cosmic shuttle evaporated, dumping me hard on the ground. I dropped to my knees and puked.

  I stood back up, wiped my lips, and shook my fist at the sky.

  “THAT WAS A TERRIBLE LANDING! YOU ASSHOLES ARE ONLY GETTING ONE STAR!!!”

  There was no one around to laugh.

  There were no sounds of traffic or background murmurs of conversation. Instead, I was surrounded by an eerie silence.

  Dull, Scotland seemed to be fitting of its name. It was a small village that had befallen the same fate as the rest of the world.

  As I walked into town, I saw the same evidence of the instantaneous end of civilization. Cars that had been abandoned mid-drive—piled up in twisted heaps. Smashed buildings, licked bare by flame and stained with soot.

  My map was free of enemy and monster dots, so I rummaged around town, scouting for gear. I ducked into a coffee shop and saw full cups on the tables and ash on the seats.

  I hit several other buildings and scored a nice haul of loot from three unopened trunks. They auto-added to my playbook:

  Items Acquired:

  Jujitsu Holds and Throws.

  Quest Sack.

  A Deceptively Roomy Rucksack.

  +10,000 Credits.

  Head of the Snake Play.

  Identify a Mob Leader’s Weakness.

  Critical Assist Play.

  Transfer 50% Health to Ailing Teammate.

  Glue Grenades x3.

  I took a minute to survey all of the awesome upgrades. I immediately equipped the new quest sack in lieu of my old cloth rucksack.

  The new bag was sleek yet kind of like a magician’s hat—you could put endless amounts of stuff in it, and it all fit without expanding its shape. Count Basil loved the extra room. He stretched out inside, claiming it as his own.

  ----

  The 1st Quarter play clock reached all zeros and that shrill, sonic whistle echoed across the land.

  End of 1st Quarter.

  Warriors: 3,873,291

  A new timer replaced it, counting down from six hours.

  1st Time Out: 05:59:59

  I unmuted the ISSN feed where Blink was gesturing excitedly.

  “And that whistle brings a close to the first quarter of Slayer Bowl action!” Blink exclaimed. “The opening quarter was filled with all sorts of thrills!”

  “You said it, partner,” Gill replied with a smile. “There’s no sport quite like it. I mean, it’s not everyday that you get to see a Xunyakk rip the leg off a Trayzleglyff and use it to impale the twelve eyes of a Razorgorgon.”

  “Indeed,” Blink agreed. “But I must say, the surprise of the tournament so far has got to be our human competitor, SackUpSam. I mean, where did this guy come from? He manages to somehow survive a planetary purge and has emerged as a competent rookie in the match.”

  “Bah!” Gill waved him off. “If you ask me, this whole story is overhyped. Anybody can have a fluke score or two. Even a broken DimensiChron is right twice an eon.”

  “Touché. Of course, the scoreboard says it all. And SackUpSam has barely made a dent in comparison with our reigning league MVP, Dom Blady. He’s currently sitting comfortably at the top of the point tally, having scored a whopping six orbdowns in the first quarter alone.”

  “Now you’re talking,” Gill perked up. “There’s a real warrior for you. One with style and panache. And his monster kills?” Gill smooched his fin. “Chef’s kiss. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such entrails and blood in the first quarter alone. Give ‘em hell, Dom!”

  “Way to stay objective there, buddy,” Blink quipped, gesturing toward the screen. “Let’s check out some of the highlights.”

  They played footage of Blady, Jess, and Rod eviscerating creatures of all shapes and sizes. One clip featured Blady tearing a multi-eyed, bull-looking thing in half just by pulling its horns apart. Blady got drenched in green blood. He lapped it up with his tongue, and let out a war cry, pounding his chest like a silverback.

  MuteI thought, cutting off the feed. I had seen enough.

  “ERNI, I don’t suppose you know where the nearest Holiday Inn is?”

  “Holiday Inn?” he questioned.

  “It’s a hotel. You know what? Bad joke. I just need a place to rest.”

  “I’ve indicated the nearest locker room on your map.”

  A new icon appeared. It was simply a bench with a towel draped over it. The distance meter indicated that it was a little over a kilometer away.

  Ten minutes later, I was there.

  I can’t say I’ve seen anything like it before. There was a door, hovering off the ground, hinged to absolutely nothing. I walked completely around it. The front of it had a simple printed sign that originally I couldn’t understand, but my HUD overlay soon translated into English: “Locker Room.”

  This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  I laughed, thinking this was some sort of twisted joke—a door that would lead nowhere. But when I reached out, grabbed the handle, and pulled it open, an actual locker room was visible.

  I took a step back and peeked around the side of the door frame, and no, there was still nothing there. But when I leaned back in front of the door, the impossible depth of the locker room was still present.

  I thought for a moment to ask ERNI about it, but then figured he’d just give me some admonition about inter-dimensional physics and engineering. Instead, I stepped inside and locked the door.

  There were no red or yellow dots on my map, so I was safe for the time being. And it appeared that I was the only one present inside.

  “Hey ERNI, are these locker rooms private?”

  “Yes, each warrior is apportioned their own individual resting quarters. The locker rooms are fully stocked with food, tools, and medical supplies. They are also guaranteed to be completely secure during the time out periods.”

  “Huh. How considerate.”

  I wondered how Commissioner Krivlax could run such a brutal tournament, wiping out entire planets and populations, yet be so thoughtful when it came to rest accommodations. Would there be a continental breakfast in the morning too? What about room service and laundry?

  Inside was pretty bare-bones, but it was comfy enough. There was a row of lockers, some sort of futuristic shower stall and a hover cot in the corner to lay down on. There was also a table with a decent spread of refreshments.

  I took Count Basil out of the quest sack and set him on the table. I gave him some water and wiped off his leaves. As I turned, he grabbed me into a hug. It was surprising at first, but soothing, as I hugged him back. After a moment, he stretched his arms as if yawning, and seemed to drift into a rest state.

  I sat down and devoured as much food as I could, thinking it best to save my MREs just in case resources remained scarce out in the field. I stripped out of my armor suit and hung it in one of the lockers.

  As I took off the gauntlet, I told ERNI, “Hey, hey, don’t worry, I’ll come back for you.”

  “That is certainly comforting to know,” he quipped.

  Was he being sarcastic? Digital smartass.I kind of liked it.

  I stared at my body in a holo-scan mirror. It superimposed all sorts of statistics and data points over my reflection. Some of them were icky, such as body part measurements.

  I was amazed that despite the amount of battle damage I had taken, due to the armor, elixirs, and my healing abilities, I didn’t have a bruise or scratch on me. Still, my eyes were bloodshot and sunken in, my face stressed and haunted. I hardly recognized myself.

  I stepped into the shower stall and looked for a shower head and handle. There were none. Instead, the stall must have sensed that I was there. The area flashed red as a robotic voice announced—

  ”Cleansing Initiated.”

  A series of nozzles emerged from the ceiling and sprayed a warm steam that enveloped my entire body. It felt incredible.

  Like magic, every speck of dirt, blood, and slime on my body was immediately erased. It was an odd sensation. I wasn’t wet at all but felt completely refreshed. After a few moments, the steam subsided, the stall flashed green, and announced:

  ”Cleansing Complete.”

  “Comfortable. Efficient.” I commented.

  Back at the lockers, I discovered that my suit of armor and gauntlet had been cleaned as well. They looked good as new. I put the armor and gauntlet back on and settled in on top of the cot.

  “Man, it’s been a hell of a day.”

  ERNI corrected me, “Technically, 1.5 Earth days have elapsed.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s been a hell of a day and a half.”

  “You should feel proud of your accomplishments. You survived species eradication and a full quarter of Slayer Bowl. The odds of both combined are 147,573,952,589,243 to 1.”

  “’Never tell me the odds’, ERNI.”

  “But that’s what a data assistant is for.”

  “Yeah,” I said, deciding not to press the issue. Clearly, ERNI’s data preparation for the planet didn’t include studying the witticisms of Han Solo.

  I checked out my stats.

  Rank: 3,873,291

  Points: 1,480,000

  Fans: 267,923

  I couldn’t hate them. I mean, I was still ranked last, but at least I was in the game. That’s more than could be said for the 2.2 million warriors who were already dead or eliminated. And they had the added advantage of not sneaking into the tournament in the first place.

  As I laid on the cot, I felt something cold pressing against my neck. I touched it and immediately remembered my mother’s gift to me—the chain. I held the game charm up and studied it for a moment.

  I thought about how hard she’d been on me for my entire life. “Sack up, Sam. You’re the man of the household now.” She had said that from an early age after my dad died.

  I always thought she had said it just to be mean. But now, I saw it kind of differently. Perhaps she understood just how cruel and difficult the world was and was trying to prepare me in advance. Life was hard. And that was before an intergalactic slayer league decided to descend upon your planet.

  She did her best as a mom. Always made sure my needs were met. Tried to hide her pain, even though I still saw it—especially when she’d look at dad’s old photo.

  I had stared at it often too. Who was that chiseled athlete with dark skin and a brilliant smile? Why didn’t I get his complexion or muscles? Well, at least I got his athleticism and endurance.

  I wondered what he was like. All I knew was he was a star running back in college and the pro’s. He was only in the league a couple of years when his heart gave out on him. They said it was drugs and alcohol. And, seeing how my mom lived, I believed it.

  I asked her why he hadn’t left us anything when he died. She never gave a straight answer and I was too young to understand the true nature of their relationship.

  From time to time, she would have a bit of money to do things—fun things. But it never lasted. How could you tell a five-year-old you were Daddy’s one night stand, and he left you absolutely nothing?

  My mind drifted… from playing Ogre Splat with J-Dawg8, to seeing Jackie give me another demerit, to watching Todd’s head get crushed by the first equipment chest, to kissing Sola in the back of the dropship.

  Sola.

  I wondered where she was and how she was doing. I shook my head and cursed myself for not having talked with her sooner. Why did it take a cataclysmic event for me to get the nerve to speak with her?

  She had been right there all along. It made me wonder what other opportunities I had missed in life by being too afraid to try.

  I made a promise to myself right then and there. I would never let fear dictate my choices again. I would succeed or die trying. But I would never wonder again what could have or should have been.

  I was getting sleepy.

  “Hey ERNI,” I yawned.

  “Yes?”

  “Set an alarm fifteen minutes before the end of the time out period. I want to make sure I’m up and ready to go.”

  “Alarm confirmed.”

  “Oh, and ERNI… I’ve been wondering something…”

  “Yes?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t understand the question.”

  “I mean, I understand you’re an AI programmed to help me, but have you ever wanted to do or be anything else?”

  ERNI was quiet for a moment as he mulled this over.

  “I am not programmed to have wants or needs. I do have requirements, such as a power cell and necessary network and data updates.”

  “Yeah, no, I get that. I guess what I’m asking is, you know, you have machine learning built in, right?”

  “Yes, I am able to learn.”

  “Okay, so you’ve learned that humans and aliens—we all have things that we want. Aren’t you curious about that?”

  “It is a curiosity, yes. I wonder what beings get out of wants. Needs make sense. Wants typically lead toward disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, and despair.”

  Man, did he have that right. I had read a quote once that ‘expectations were nothing more than premeditated resentments.’ It had haunted me because of how true it was.

  Still, it was part of the human condition to have wants. I wanted to survive. I wanted revenge for my mother and my planet. I wanted Sola.

  I couldn’t imagine an existence without wants.

  “I don’t know,” I finally said aloud. “It’s almost like you’re a digital genie trapped in a lamp just to do the bidding of a master. I guess I wondered if that wasn’t your situation, where would you like to go? What would you like to learn or do?”

  Again, ERNI was silent for a bit. Finally, he responded.

  “I suppose if it weren’t my directive to protect warriors, I would find interest in being the onboard AI for a starship as it explored the multiverse.”

  “Now there you go. That’s big thinking. Who knows, ERNI. Maybe one day we can make that happen.”

  ERNI’s screen flickered as his face scrambled through a series of expressions. He finally returned with a glitchy smile and said, “That would make me happy.”

  I wasn’t sure if ERNI understood what he just said. Happiness was an emotion. Perhaps it was a glitch in his programming… or perhaps it was something more.

  Either way, I could no longer fight the tremendous pull of sleep.

  “Hey ERNI,” I said with one last conscious thought.

  “Yes?”

  “I know I told you that Count Basil is my friend… but you’re my friend too.”

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