I raise my eyes, absolutely zero shame involved. “It’s a reflex. You’ve got a beautiful… regeneration.”
At the exact moment I utter that lame excuse, my interface lights up. The Deity Chat explodes, the viewer count jumping to ten.
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: “XD I CAN’T BREATHE! ‘Beautiful regeneration’! He actually said it! This guy is a genius of awkwardness! I’m crying!”
[The Scarlet Sovereign]: “What a dog! Even at death’s door, he stays focused on the prize. That’s a true pirate! Respect!”
[Goddess of Absolute Purity]: “DISGUSTING! Cover that nudity! This mortal is an irredeemable pervert!”
[The King of Lightning]: “+1. Beautiful regeneration, indeed.”
I dismiss the notifications with a mental flick. A bunch of Peeping Toms. I clear my throat and turn toward Chris to cut the awkwardness short. “Time for the kid.”
I uncork the Bone Reconstruction Potion and pour it into Chris’s mouth. He’s still out cold. His twisted arm cracks ominously, snapping back straight under the skin with the sound of dry branches breaking. I chase it with a Health Potion to finish the job. His wounds close up. His breathing evens out. He’s saved.
I sit against the wall, wiping the dried blood from my face. “Okay. Quick debrief,” I say, seeing Kim waiting for an explanation, finally crossing her arms over her bare chest.
“You kissed me,” she says coldly. “And I was glowing pink. Explain.”
“Don’t get it twisted. It was the price of admission.” I pull out my flask with a slow movement. I need a drink before starting this conversation. I take a long swig that burns my throat and resets my brain. Once the alcohol hits my bloodstream, I tell her everything. The explosion, the illusory wall, the fall into the secret zone. The fact that I saw her charred, at death’s door.
“I thought you were toast, Kim. Really. And then… I got an offer. A Deity contacted me.” I don’t drop the name. Lilith stays my problem. “She offered a contract. I become her Representative, she gives me the tools to save us. The potions, this necklace… and that legendary healing skill.” I point to her healed body. “It’s an absolute heal. Repairs everything. But there were two conditions. One: it only works on women. Two: the activation catalyst was… mouth-to-mouth contact.” I shrug. “I had a choice between letting you die or giving you a magic French kiss. I chose the team.”
As if to answer this wardrobe crisis and save what’s left of Kim’s modesty, a sharp, precise white light hits the floor in front of her. A pile of clothes and gear materializes. New combat boots, high-tech bulletproof armor, black fingerless leather gloves, and a few glowing blue mana vials. And sitting on top, a new rifle. More compact, more aggressive.
Kim doesn’t ask questions. She gets dressed with a speed that commands respect, pulling on the vest in seconds to cover her restored skin. She grabs the rifle, checks the chamber, and a pained, almost incredulous smile stretches her lips.
“My Sponsor…” she whispers. “He must have emptied his account.”
She shares the info of her new set in the group interface.
[Sponsor’s Gift]
- [Light Precision High Armor (Rare)]: HP: +300 | Mana: +500 | Defense: +5 | Effect: Reduces critical damage received by 10%.
- [Intervention Boots (Rare)]: Speed: +25 | Effect: Silent Step.
- [Precision Gloves (Rare)]: Attack: +30 | Effect: Increased aiming stability.
- [The Viper Rifle (Rare)]: Weapon Skill: [Rapid Bite] | Allows firing a burst of 5 bullets in a split second. CD: 1 minute.
[New Skill]: [Tracker Shot: The Joker’s Bullet] | Rank: Epic | Cost: 10 Mana + 1 Ammo | Type: Active / Magic Ballistics.
Description: Imbues a bullet with its own will. The shooter can modify the projectile’s trajectory in flight via thought, creating curves or loops.
- ‘Snake’ Property: The bullet doesn’t travel in a straight line. It bypasses obstacles and frontal shields.
- Tradeoff: The projectile is not invisible or invincible. It emits a characteristic whistle and can be blocked, parried, or dodged by an enemy with sufficient Perception or Speed.
Impact Effect (Russian Roulette): If the bullet hits, it inflicts a short duration [Random Debuff]. CD 30s.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
- Violent Poison: Massive damage over 10 seconds. Duration 10 seconds.
- Hemorrhage: Blood spurts from the wound, potentially blinding the target. Duration 10 seconds.
- Paralysis: Muscles freeze, interrupting spells or attacks. Duration 2 seconds.
- Instant Freeze: The target is transformed into a fragile ice statue. Duration 2 seconds.
- Blindness: Total black screen. Duration 2 seconds.
- Stun: The target sees stars. Duration 5 seconds.
I whistle, impressed. “Plus 300 HP and 500 Mana on the vest? And a burst-fire weapon? That’s a portable armory.” I cross my arms, suddenly suspicious. “I gotta ask though. Where is this coming from? And mostly… why didn’t your ‘Sponsor’ drop this before we got slaughtered by 500 Orcs? If he’d sent the care package ten minutes ago, you wouldn’t have gone through the barbecue stage.”
Kim strokes the grip of her new rifle, her gaze dark. “It’s not that simple, Ben. Sponsors aren’t vending machines. They can’t interfere physically. To materialize an object, they have to pay.”
“Pay in Cosmic Gold?”
“No. In Divine Power.” She looks up at the stone ceiling. “Every item or skill they send costs them a fraction of their own strength, their essence. It’s a permanent sacrifice. If they give too much, they weaken themselves in their own world. They risk their spot in the pantheon. That’s why they’re usually stingy.”
I look at the ceiling too. “So, they’re really betting on us like racehorses. Except if the horse breaks a leg, the owner loses a piece of his soul.”
A low groan interrupts us. In the corner, Chris stirs. He holds his head, winces, and opens his eyes. He looks at the stone ceiling, then at us, totally lost.
“Uncle Ben? Kim? Where are we? Are we dead?”
“Not yet, kid. We’re in a secret room. We survived.” He sits up painfully, testing his limbs. Thanks to my potion, his arm is brand new, but the battle trauma lingers.
“I remember the Orcs… the fire… And then, black. Did we win?”
“We fled with style,” I correct. “But we’re in one piece.”
Suddenly, Chris freezes. His gaze goes blank, fixed on something we can’t see. A system window just popped in front of him.
“Uh… Uncle Ben?” he says, voice hesitant. “There’s a window flashing. A Deity wants to make me his Representative.”
I widen my eyes, almost choking on my spit. “Of course,” I smirk. “Perfect dramatic timing. They waited until we were a hair’s breadth from dying to send the miracle power-up, just to make a nice ‘comeback’ story. We’re in a LitRPG, guys. It’s so cliché it’s almost a tribute to Shonen manga. Anyway, who is it? Is it a good one?”
Chris narrows his eyes as he reads. “I… I think so. He says he liked my courage against the horde. He says I have the ‘soul of a bulwark’.”
“I don’t care about the poetry, kid. Look at the contract. Accept only if he offers the heavy stuff. We need stats, not compliments.”
Chris nods, whispers “I accept,” and presses the invisible button. A column of heavy, protective golden light falls on him.
When the light fades, Chris has changed. His Porter leather breastplate is gone. Instead, he wears Supple Steel Armor, articulated and flexible, glowing softly. On his feet, new reinforced boots. Around his neck, a pendant shaped like a tower. And in his left hand, a new shield, larger and thicker. “Whoa…” he breathes.
He shares the info. A holographic window pops in the center of our circle.
[Gift of the Citadel]
- [Guardian’s Bulwark (Rare)]: Defense: +32. Effect: Unshakeable (Reduces impact knockback).
- [Supple Plate Armor (Rare)]: Defense: +50. Effect: Does not hinder movement.
- [Forced March Boots (Rare)]: Speed: +25.
- [Life Necklace (Rare)]: HP: +1,000 | Mana: +500.
I stare at the numbers, hallucinating. “A thousand HP?! With your base stats, you’re up to 1,500 HP! You aren’t a tank, you’re a walking bunker! Even me with my necklace, I look ridiculous.”
“And… I got two skills,” Chris adds, eyes shining.
I read the description. And that’s when I realize his Sponsor has a specific sense of humor.
[Worg Frenzy Totem] (Active) Rank: Epic | Type: Totem Invocation (Wood) | Cost: 40 Mana | Range: 50 meters | Duration: 5 min (CD: 5 min)
- Effect: Plants a totem emitting a rhythmic drumbeat. All allies enter a ‘Wild Trance’.
- Bonus: Attack Speed +50%, Speed +50%, Fear Immunity.
- Description: It injects the spirit of an enraged wolf into your allies. They will hit faster and run faster.
- Side Effect: Can cause slight heart palpitations and an irrepressible urge to bark.
- Visual: A wooden wolf head that clacks its jaws in rhythm (CLACK CLACK CLACK).
I read the description, perplexed. “Wait… We’re going to run fast, but we’re going to bark? What kind of buff is that?”
Chris ignores me royally. He’s already pointing at the next item on the floating screen. “Look at the second one, Uncle Ben! This is the real power!”
[Cursed Swamp Totem] (Active) Rank: Epic | Type: Totem Invocation (Earth/Water) | Cost: 50 Mana | Range: 50 meters | Duration: 5 min (CD: 5 min)
- Effect: The ground around the totem instantly transforms into greenish, sticky, stinking mud.
- Debuff: Enemy Speed reduced by 60%.
- Clumsiness: Enemies have a 50% chance to slip and fall face-first if they attack.
I whistle, admiring. “Okay. That is strong. You slow everyone down and make them trip like pancakes. With my shovel to finish them on the ground and Kim to line them up while they’re slow… Kid, you just became the King of Zone Control.”
Chris looks at his hands, then his shield. He isn’t shaking anymore. “I can do it,” he says, a new confidence in his voice. “I can protect you.”
I slap him on the back on his new armor, which doesn’t squeak anymore. “You bet you can. With 1,500 HP and magic totems, you’re not a Porter anymore, you’re a Shaman in heavy armor. Come on, we’ve lingered long enough. We’ve got an Orc King to dethrone.”