"Hey fatty" the voice of my older brother sounded in my ear

  Huh wasn't I dead just now

  My hands subconsciously rose up to feel the skin on my shoulder

  It wasn't wet with blood and neither was there any bite wound

  "Are you listening to me" my brother's voice became impatient

  Huh

  "What are you doing here" I said in confusion

  I mean how would you feel if you were bitten to death by a zombie

  Then you practically blink and you're standing in the classroom unharmed

  It's just pure confusion

  "I came here to talk with my worthless brother" he said

  These words

  Didn't he just say the exact same thing a few hours ago

  Yeah I seem to remember it clearly

  "Oh okay" I said because I noticed that he was about to frown

  He must have thought I was ignoring him

  "Dad wants you to come home and take your stuff"

  "He said he's tired of keeping such a worthless trash in his house that only lazes around"

  "So you're already out of the family registry"

  "We're also going to throw your stuff away if you don't come to collect it after the semester ends" my brother said this and walked away

  His steps were steady and he didn't even pause due to guilt after saying such traumatizing words to someone he called brother

  But I was too busy thinking about how the same thing happened

  There were some variations probably due to the fact that I might have pissed him off by not paying attention in the beginning

  That must have been why his marks were more cutting instead of plain

  But that still didn't reduce the pain that came from hearing such words

  It stands to reason that hearing it a second time would make me expect it

  But I guess I still had hope that it might be something different

  That through some supernatural miracle, my father wouldn't disown me

  But reality is cruel

  People say that so easily with a determination to become worse

  They say life is hard like it's some kind of comfort

  Like if they accept with their soul then they would be able to live in this cruel hard world

  They say it's survival of the fittest and gain enlightenment

  Suddenly they are better than they were before and they become smarter or more determined

  At this point, I felt like laughing

  Loud crazy laughter to scorn myself

  The world is cruel

  Why should that make me feel anything except despair

  Because that just means that no matter how hard I try;

  I would still suffer

  If I don't try then it would still result in suffering

  Life is hard

  My life...my life is horrible, miserable and traumatizing

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Just "hard" is too low of an expression

  They say life isn't easy so why bother to continue trying

  And when you do give up, you're seen as a piece of trash that didn't even dare to try

  They see you as a coward that is a waste of space

  But they don't see the beginning

  They don't see as the light on your eyes begin to dim

  No they see your suffering and then they begin to scorn you when you submit to that suffering

  But the important question that should be asked is :

  Why aren't you helping me

  If it bothers you so much then why don't you do it yourself

  Someone would reply that why should they help a complete stranger if they don't have the courage to do it themselves

  And I reply to you that if I'm such a stranger then why do you still insist on getting involved with me

  People naturally can't bear to see someone suffering

  If you're not going to help then close your eyes and block your ears

  It might sound morally wrong but this is just my opinion

  To give an analogy;

  What's the point of giving that one beggar on the street some loose change

  The money would be spent and the same beggar would be on the street the next day

  If you continuously give that beggar money everyday

  Then you are committing a sin to that beggar greater than someone who would ignore him

  That's because you've now conditioned that beggar to think that the only way to acquire money is to beg on the street

  You didn't add any value to his life and he probably won't remember if he lives a better life after

  That is the truth that people want to ignore

  Life is hard

  The world is cruel

  Survival of the fittest

  All of these phrases is a truth that separates human into only two categories

  No matter how rich, poor or powerful you are

  There are only two type of people :

  The strong and The weak

  And I am weak, worthless trash

  The bell rang and I snapped out of my thoughts

  I walked to my seat and took out my manga habitually

  Then I started thinking about the zombie

  Even though I'm aware of the truth of life due to reading so much manga

  My mind won't let me give up yet

  Because in situations where time repeats itself after the main character dies;

  It never stops at one death

  I don't have any aversion to dying

  After all I have nothing left to hold me down

  Neither do I have a fond memory to motivate me

  I don't have any goals neither do I have ambition

  Frankly I just want to be at peace

  And to me,death sounds very peaceful

  So how to prevent the looping

  First of all; the looping is probably activated after my death

  Honestly I still get shivers thinking about that zombie

  It all happened so fast

  So I have to escape from it this time

  Let's retrace my steps

  I entered the classroom and met my brother

  Then we talked for a bit and he left

  The class started and I continued to read manga

  Then a student close eto me collapsed and I was attacked not soon after

  So that means that it's one of the students close to me

  Now what

  Hmm.. the best option is to run away before the student collapses

  That should give me enough time to run away from the school

  Maybe it's not all around the world and only in our classroom

  And the military developed a lot after the natural disasters

  Generally humanity became a little tougher than normal

  The year were the natural disaster just started and the world was in chaos

  There was chaos and lack of order due to such a large scale of destruction and death

  Usually natural disaster only affected one country or state or region and it would stop after a while

  But this time it was everywhere

  The whole world was plagued with different natural disasters at the same time for a full year

  The people were sorrowful, desperate and scared

  Everyday was a battle and every breath taken was earned from a war for survival

  It was tragedy and destruction manifested physically

  It was death

  It was the end of the world

  But people triumphed

  I was lucky

  The world wanted me to suffer some more so I survived against all odds

  And now here I am

  Trying to escape from a zombie

  "Excuse me sir" I raised my hand

  The whole class turned to me and I could feel their disgust as their eyes looked at me in amusement

  Well this is the first time I've actually spoken in class without the teacher asking me a question

  In a school for the nobles; he couldn't necessarily ignore me

  See despite my illegitimate status

  I had a status

  A stain on the Ming family

  And the Ming family has a status comparable to the president along with 4 other noble families

  So anyone under the Ming family is still better than a high school teacher in terms of status

  So by extension I had a status high enough that I couldn't be ignored

  But that doesn't mean he's going to protect me from being bullied

  Neither does that stop others from bullying me

  It just means he has to respond to me if I ask a question

  "I guess someone of your size would require frequent use of the toilet" the teacher said this casually

  Like he merely said yes

  The whole class snickered and began to whisper

  Right my status does attract a lot of hate and insults

  After all, nobles hates stains like me the most

  "Thank you" I said and stood up to escape the school

  The whole class watched me as I stood up with the posture of watching a clown

  Now all I have to do is pass the students close to me and I would be out the door

  I walked forward a step

  Another step

  Then I paused

  I tried to raise my foot forward but I couldn't

  I tried to walk forward

  But I was scared

  It felt like I would be attacked

  It felt like one of those students would jump up and attack me

  The zombie would tear into my soft fatty flesh once more and I would be dead

  Then I would be back in the classroom

  But I couldn't just stand here all day

  Come on move

  The student slumped down onto the floor

  Move; I told myself but my feet were stuck to the ground and my body began to tremble

  I kept repeating the same word in my head but my body still refused to move

  The student rose up from the floor now with black spots and bloodshot eyes

  Red eyes that stared straight at me

  I screamed in my head to move

  And my body finally listened to my desperate pleas

  I took a step back

  Haha

  After all my internal screaming; I only took one step back

  The zombie lunged at me and I fell down

  It bit into my shoulder and blood flows out like a broken tap

  I died

  He he

  Haha

  He he

  Let's end this worthless world together