Chapter 9: Mana Dense Tower Defense
In my defense, the badger did it. Yeah, I know she’s my familiar, but she’s still an autonomous creature who makes her own decisions, and I shouldn’t be blamed for them. Besides, if anything, it’s the king’s fault for trying to pet her. And c’mon, it’s not like he needs both arms to sit on a throne and bark orders at people. As soon as he gets used to jerking off with his left hand, the kingdom will be right as rain. Ok, I might be getting ahead of myself here. Let’s flash back to the moment I got to this stupid fucking floor, and everything immediately went to shit.
Stepping through the portal, wet badger in tow, I find myself in what looks like a massive cathedral. The ceiling has to be at least 50 ft above the floor, and all of the many windows looking out onto a bright sky are tinted with images of knights, dragons, demons, and kings. The floors are white marble inlaid with gold flecks, and the walls are a smooth grey stone. The lighting in the room is primarily from a massive chandelier in the center of the hall, but cast iron sconces also line the walls at about 15 feet above the floor. Surrounding me, kneeling on the ground, are what look to be knights. Shiny metal armor under brightly colored tunics with coats of arms is the standard outfit for those around me. Swords lay in sheaths at their hips, and helmets are held in arms rather than worn on heads. The subject of their apparent show of loyalty sits upon a gilded throne at the front of the room on a raised dais. A tall man, maybe 6’3”, the king has an aura of self importance that is plain to any eye. His hair is long and golden, and he is clean shaven. His skin is olive, and his ears are pointed and elven. He wears long flowing robes of green satin, and several rings, bracelets, and necklaces of gold and inlaid with jewels. On his head is a crown, pointed in the front with a massive green jewel at the peak, and flat in the circlet around, but all made of gold. Regally, with the easy pace of a man with nothing but time and confidence, he waves his hand towards the knights, as if displaying them to some invisible guest. He turns to me.
“Welcome, summoned hero, to the kingdom of Aragonnia. I am King Ancor, and I am afraid we have summoned you during a desperate time. We require your aid, and I beseech you to hear our request.”
I raise my eyebrows, look around at the assembled knights, then back at the king. The king kind of strikes me as a bit of a douche, I’m not gonna lie. Honestly though, I don’t mind that. Douchebags are always fun to mess with after all.
“Sup dude, I’m Calvin. Hit me with the deets, my man. What’s going down in the down?”
The king pauses, looking confused.
“You good brah? You gettin’ what I’m spoutin’? You picking up what I’m putting down? You chugging what I’m pouring?”
The king’s eyes dart around, looking for any sign of someone who understands what I’m saying. It’s all I can do to keep a straight face. Finally, his eyes fall on LS, and they widen.
“By the gods! What manner of noble creature is this?” He gets up from his throne and begins to regally stroll towards me.
“This here’s my familiar. She’s a Little Shit, but she’s my Little Shit.”
“A familiar! Never in all my days have I seen so regal a form, and yet somehow you have tamed this most illustrious creature?”
“Uhhh, yeah, though I wouldn’t exactly call her illustrious.”
“Nonsense, I know a beast of noble stock when I see one,” the king says, reaching us and stretching a hand out. “Good badger, I am the king of this land, and I am honored to-”
One second LS is sitting on the ground, and the next she’s 6 feet in the air, the full right arm of the king held in her triumphant mouth.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
The king lets out a wail of pain and fury, blood gushing from the open wound that is what’s left of his shoulder. The blood shoots out in frenzied spurts, like holding your thumb over a hose and releasing sprays of pressurized water. Immediately, the knights around jump to action, pulling swords and approaching LS. Using the thread connecting us, I tell LS to hide, and use telekinesis to toss her out of a stained glass window and into the distance.
“Oh dear, however could this have happened! Dear king, are you ok? I assure you this was but a colossal mistake on the part of my uhhh… former… familiar.”
Clearly not buying it, the king, still screaming in pain, manages to force some words through the wails.
“SIEZE HIM!”
So yeah, that’s the long and short of it. I now find myself in a small cell, clearly underground, with no windows, a plain flat stone for a bed, and a chamber pot in one corner. The bars are some strange silvery grey metal, and from what little testing I’ve done, whatever metal was used to make them is harder than anything on earth. Now obviously, I could break out anytime I want, but I kinda like the idea of challenging myself. With that in mind, I’ve decided that I am going to beat the entire floor without leaving the cell. Still, wish there was an actual toilet here. Though actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I haven’t eaten or drank anything since I woke up on floor one, and I don’t feel hungry or thirsty at all. I suppose if I don’t need to eat, I won’t be taking many shits. I love food though, so as soon as I’m back home, I’m gonna be eating and shitting my heart out. I sit down on the stone bed and close my eyes, putting my feet into the optimal crisscross apple sauce formation. Ok, so the goal here is another magical classic: astral projection. Basically, I want to either create some sort of spectral body out of mana that I can leave the cell and explore with, or if that fails, try to connect my vision to that of LS. Luckily, I already have a pretty strong starting point from my experiments with mana sight. I pull some of the mana membrane from my mana pool, and try to pull it out of my body. With it hovering in the air, I use mana to try and create eyes. I think I succeed, but since I can’t see out of the eyes I’ve made, they aren’t particularly helpful. Ok, fine then, instead of eyes, I focus on making invisible sensors with mana, using the membrane as a kind of antenna to connect my control and myself to the mana sensors. For now, the sensors will just be based off sonar, cause that’s pretty easy to conceptualize. Just shoot out pulses of mana and generate a model of the surroundings based on what they hit. This seems to work, as in my head, I begin to see shapes form. I’m definitely not seeing exactly, but I have a sense of all of the forms around where the mana sensors are, and what those forms represent. Currently, for example, I can “see” the shape of myself on the stone bed, and the shapes of the bars and chamber pot. Moving the sensors out the bars and into the hallway, I can see the shapes of two guards on either side of the bars. Ok, this is progress. Now I have to figure out how to render these shapes into actual things, and I guess after that figure out sound and smell and touch. Baby steps Calvin, baby steps. For better rendering, a good start is making the sensors pulse faster and more often. Through that, like increasing the frame rate on a camera, images and movement will become clearer, but how to get color? Hmm… OH! I’ve been thinking about this all wrong! I’m modeling the mana after sonar, but it isn’t sonar. Mana isn’t sound, so I shouldn't treat it like it is. I focus on making the waves of mana distinguish the color and texture of what they pass over, and immediately, the image in my head springs from vague shapes to colorful focus. In my mind, the guards are now in visual clarity, and I can see that their mouths are moving, but I can’t hear what they are saying. Given the fact that they are directly outside my cell, I assume there is some sort of soundproofing magic in or around the bars. That in itself is interesting, but I force myself not to get distracted. Fine then, they want to talk? That just means I gotta figure out how to eavesdrop! Surely this should be easy right? I just focus on having the sensors pick up sounds and- OW FUCK NO STOP IT. Ok, mistakes were made. If every single mana wave is getting sound, then I hear every noise hundreds of times a second, which, as I’m sure you can imagine, hurts like a bitch. So, sound collection has to be separate.
“OI! What’s going on in there?”
To keep up appearances, I open my eyes, and see one of the guards outside my bars, with a glowing rock in his hand, held up to his mouth.
“Nothin much, just chokin’ the chicken, don’t mind me. What’s that rock?”
The guard sneers at me.
“Don’t you worry your soon-to-be-removed head about it, inmate, just quiet down and make your peace with death.”
“Well, aren’t you a pleasant fellow. Fine, I’ll be quiet as a mouse and as docile as a rabbit, don’t you worry.”
He scoffs and goes back to his post. Closing my eyes, I resume my testing, and this time, I make sure the mechanism for receiving sound is separate from the one receiving sight. As I do, the voices of the guards begin to enter directly into my mind.
“-do you think the beast went Lyale? You don’t suppose it’ll return for the prisoner do you? I don’t want to fight that thing!”
“Oh, come off it Lesath, you saw how fast that thing moved! If it was gonna come for him, it would have gotten here a long time ago, no matter how far it jumped.”
Despite Lyale’s apparent confidence, through my mind I can plainly see his discomfort at the thought of my adorable little badger ripping his throat out. It brings a smile to my face to see my beloved familiar so utterly feared. Speaking of LS, I wonder what she’s up to. I use the thread connecting us to track down where she is, and send my mana sensor over to her. In doing so, I discover that as long as I keep constant focus on it, there doesn’t seem to be a max range. I guarantee if this came from a skill there would be. Every new thing I discover through my [Arcane Innovator] class makes me appreciate it more and more. There is nothing and nobody telling me what my limits are, and that is just how I like it. Leaving the castle, I find myself floating above a massive town (or, y’know, massive compared to floor 2 anyway). A couple miles in radius, the town extends from all sides of the castle. There is a 20ft wall as well as a sizable moat separating the castle from the town, and on the outside of the town there is another 1oft wooden palisade between it and the outside world. Following the thread to LS, I find myself in a dark alleyway behind what looks like a tavern. Sitting atop a small mound of dead rats, munching on scraps of leftover food from the tavern, I find my darling familiar, living the glutton life. Through the thread, I send an image of her becoming bloated and fat if she eats too much, and she hisses, and sends back a feeling that can only be translated as “fuck you.” She then sends an image of her stuffing dead rats into my mouth while I sleep, and I shiver in my cell. I send her an image of a feast, and her being thin and beautiful and eating it all, and she quiets down and nods, sending a feeling of acceptance. Message received: Little Shit don’t fuck around, she stands on business. Leaving LS to her snack, I begin roaming around the town, trying to find traces of this threat that the king mentioned (I assume defeating this mysterious threat will get me access to the next floor). I’m not seeing many obvious threats in this town to be honest. Maybe outside the town? I leave the walls of the town, and travel through plains of green grass and sparse trees for what seems like miles. Then, the grass thins, and eventually the land becomes barren. The sparse trees become spiky rocks jutting up from burnt soil, and though I can’t feel temperature, I can see heat waves in the air. I spot a tent on the horizon, and as I move closer, one tent becomes three becomes hundreds. A massive war camp filled with what looks like some mixture of orcs, goblins, demons, and dark elves. Now that’s an imminent threat to the kingdom if I’ve ever seen one. So, all I gotta do is wipe this lil camp off the map and… oh. I went to use telekinesis and then realized that what I’m looking at is several miles away from my mana pool. That will make dealing with this a little more difficult. Never fear though! I have a solution. I send images of where the camp is and how to get to it along the thread to LS, and give her the go ahead to go nuts. She sends back excitement, and I know that one problem is now dealt with. While she handles the obvious threat, I want to go find the hidden boss, ‘cause if my math is right, the hidden boss on this floor will give a fuck ton of exp, so I don’t want to leave without dealing with it. Floating around the camp for a while, I can’t seem to find anything that might be what I’m looking for. I briefly consider switching titles to [Bane of Stealth], but I do not think it would work while my body is several miles away. As I keep looking around, I spot a commotion amongst the people in the camp, and I descend to get a better look. As I do, there is a huge explosion of blood and viscera. An orc’s head flies by, the end of the spine still attached. Intestines are flung in every direction. Screams fill the air. It seems Little Shit has made her arrival. Well, if the hidden boss is here, she’ll deal with it, so I disperse my sensor, and remake it in my cell. This time, I stuff the sensor with a shit ton of extra mana to use if I actually find the damn thing. If the hidden boss isn’t in the evil camp, the next most likely place for them would be the castle I would think. I send my sensor out and begin to explore. Hallways and stairs and towers all blend together as I roam, finding nothing of interest. Finally, I return to the king’s hall, and see him on his throne, speaking to a figure in a long black cloak. The figure is holding their hand out, and a green glow emanates from it. As I watch, new flesh begins to grow from the stump that was the King’s shoulder. I get closer, curious as to the workings of this magic, but as I do, the head of the cloaked figure whips up. Black beady eyes stare at my sensor in the air. Whatever this creature is, it’s nothing like anything else on this floor. It has mandibles instead of lips, chitin instead of skin, and as it looks at me, its cloak flips up as large insectoid wings spread from its back. I can’t seem to use inspect through my mana sensor, but I don’t think I need to. If this bitch isn’t the hidden boss I’ll eat a hat. Actually, my jaw is probably strong enough to make that really easy. I don’t think it would taste very good though. Hopefully I don’t have to find out. I am very excited for this though, as it is the first time I am fighting another mana user (other than the changeling queen but we don’t talk about her). Still, I am a little put out by the fact that I’m not there in person. Actually, y’know what?
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Sup dickbags, daddy’s home.”
I stand in the great hall, the ringing from the sonic booms still dissipating in the air. The knights and the king look at me in terrified shock. The…
Fourth Floor Hidden Boss
Mantis Master Mage - Lvl. 21
Sure, yeah, the [Mantis Master Mage] looks at me with no expression at all. Just as I’m wondering what’s going through his head, a bolt of green light drops on me from above. Activating my agility, time slows. I look up at the green light with curiosity. I could dodge it, but honestly, I’m curious what it’s going to do. Wait, but what if it just kills me outright or something? Maybe I should be a little smarter about this. Pembleton's warning about fish rings in my head. Ok, new plan, I pop over, grab the king, and bring him so that he’s directly under the green light, then step back, allowing time to resume. The green flashes down, hits the king, and he doubles over. Slightly green tinges creep up from inside his collar and with a “ugh, hurk!” he begins projectile vomiting all over the ground. A slowly spreading pool of brown liquid begins seeping from the bottom of his robe as well.
“Ewwwwwwwww. That’s so gross! Glad I didn’t let that hit me! Still, why open with that?”
I look at the mantis, who, despite his face not changing expression, has a worried edge to his eyes. Appearing around him in a swarm of at least twenty, more green lights begin shooting at me from every direction. Slowing time again, I weave through them effortlessly, and appear next to the mantis.
“Is that the only spell you know? Besides the spell for healing arms I mean.”
The mantis looks at where I was standing, looks at me, looks at where I was standing, and then looks back at me. He gets down on his knees and puts his hands in the air.
“I concede, please show mercy.”
…what?
What throws for the biggest loop is the fact that his voice sounds completely normal. No rasp or clicking or otherwise insectoid undertones to speak of. I look down at this creature. This clearly sentient creature who is begging me for mercy. I mean… it’s not like I have to kill him right? He’s just the hidden boss, not the floor boss. I should be able to move on even while he’s alive. Can I really kill a creature who has surrendered to me? I pause for a moment, silent. The [Mantis Master Mage] looks back at me, terrified. Let’s think about this logically. From what Pembleton told me last floor, this could be a creature created by the system, in which case he exists only so long as I am on this floor, and killing him means nothing in the grand scheme of his fake life. On the other hand, this could also be a creature much like Pembleton, who is simply playing a role. In that case, he will live on and remember this, even if I kill him. In neither of those scenarios am I affecting his life to a huge degree, but still. On the off chance that he will continue on after I kill him, I don’t particularly want a system creature running around the multiverse holding a grudge against me. I sigh, and reach out a hand to the mantis.
“Fine. I accept your surrender, now get up, I’m nobody’s king.”
The mantis gratefully extends his arm, grabbing my outstretched hand… but instead of letting me help him up, a green light bursts from our clasped limbs, and I feel my stomach bubble unpleasantly. Inadvertently, I activate my agility and the world slows. Like pushing the last bit of toothpaste from an almost empty tube, I feel my stomach squeeze, and inch by agonizing inch, I can actually feel the vomit as it begins to climb my throat. I feel it as my ass begins to slowly open unbidden, a brown torrent making its way towards my waiting sphincter. In the moment before the fluids vacate my orifices, I reach out and using two solid plates of mana, flatten the bug like a fucking panini press. I can’t even be that mad. The motherfucker got me with the oldest god damn trick in the book. Fine. So be it. I have a feeling the lesson I learn over the next few minutes or (and god I hope not) hours will not be one I forget soon. I brace myself, and time resumes.
43 minutes. 43 of the worst minutes of my life. You bet your fucking ass I was counting. In a way, that was even worse than burning myself with mana flame, cause at least with that it was just pain. With this, there was a healthy dose of humiliation mixed in with the sludge pouring out of me. After that, it was a simple matter of tracking down the nearest body of water and flying into it at mach 1, mouth open wide. That ripped the clothes, but luckily there are plenty of elves on this floor whose clothes are relatively in my size, so I am now wearing a red workers tunic and leather breeches. Surprisingly, the underwear was actually fine even through the splash, so after a (very) thorough cleaning, I put them back on. I know it’s a little gross, but I REALLY do not want to wear a loin cloth. They look so insanely uncomfortable. After I feel relatively human again, I check my notifications.
Your Familiar Has Killed Orc Berserker Lvl. 15
You gain 0 exp
Your Familiar Has Killed Orc Berserker Lvl. 15
You gain 0 exp
Ok, I get the idea, I skip all the notifications of 0 exp.
Your Familiar Has Killed Umbral Archer Lvl. 16
You gain 400 exp
Your Familiar Has Killed Umbral Archer Lvl. 16
You gain 400 exp
Your Familiar Has Killed Umbral Archer Lvl. 16
You gain 400 exp
…
Your Familiar Has Killed Umbral Archer Lvl. 16 x 17
You gain 6800 exp
It looks like at this point LS had leveled up, cause there are a bunch more notifications for dead umbral archers, but they all give 0 exp.
Your Familiar Has Killed Infernal Mercenary Lvl. 17
You gain 425 exp
Your Familiar Has Killed Infernal Mercenary Lvl. 17
You gain 425 exp
Your Familiar Has Killed Infernal Mercenary Lvl. 17
You gain 425 exp
…
Your Familiar Has Killed Infernal Mercenary Lvl. 17 x 51
You gain 21675 exp
You Have Leveled Up!
You Are Now Level 27!
Congratulations! Your Familiar Has Killed the Floor 4 Boss: [Malevolus the Outcast Lvl. 20]
You gain 40000 exp
Congratulations! You Have Killed the Floor 4 Hidden Boss: [Mantis Master Mage Lvl. 21]
You gain 800000 exp
You Have Leveled Up!
You Are Now Level 28!
You Have Leveled Up!
You Are Now Level 29!
You Have Leveled Up!
You Are Now Level 30!
You Have Leveled Up!
You Are Now Level 31!
Nice! Solid gains all around. With that done, I fly over to the evil encampment to check in on Little Shit. I am greeted by… bodies. Like… a lot of bodies. The only thing greater than the amount of bodies is the amount of parts each of them are split into. Sitting in the middle of the camp, upon the corpse of a massive black dragon which I assume was the dungeon boss, is Little Shit, curled up and taking a nap. Behind her, the portal is already open, ready for us to go through. I look at my badger, lying there, as peaceful as could be, surrounded by viscera. I fly down to where she is. I debate waking her up, but that feels rude, and besides, I could use a nap myself. I spend about 10 minutes figuring out a cleaning spell, and in the cleared and cleaned area I make in the center of the camp, right next to where LS is, I lie down and close my eyes. When I wake up, I’ll go to the next floor. The last floor. After that… I’ll be home. I don’t know for sure what waits for me there, and that terrifies me, but I won’t delay it. I can’t. Not if there are people waiting for me. I wonder if dad is ok? I miss him. With that thought on my mind, I drift off into a peaceful and dreamless slumber.
