"Honey, I know you just got back, but your father and I were thinking that it is about time for you to do your TTP," Aalackai's mother said, smiling.

  I physically wanted to roll my eyes at the mention of the TTP.

  The training pack period.

  It's not like Lilas, and I have been avoiding that thing for the past few years.

  In the Kivoraine kingdom, all awaken, second-gender-profile-individuals are required to live in a house with their peers.

  I smothered my giggle with a cough.

  Aalackai's mother looked at me and then added, "You too, Kitayana dear, and you as well, your highness," She said as she cut into her steak. "The 3 of you have been putting it off for years. It's a mandatory ritual that all alphas have to endure, and since you 3 have yet to go through it, I suggest you start planning."

  I took a bite of my food before I glanced at Aalackai and Lilas, who continued to eat their food without batting an eye at Lady Klemen's words.

  "Son, you opted out of your TTP at the boarding school. It's best to get on with it and get it over with." Aalackai's father suggested as he took a sip from his red wine.

  "Perhaps." He responded coldly.

  "Well, it's a good thing I planned for this," Lilas announces, "As the lady Klemen said, we three are all alpha. We can just make our own training pack. The bare minimum is three. The three of us have practically lived in the same house during our childhood. How hard could it be?"

  This does seem like the ideal situation for the two of us...

  "Lilas is right! Isn't he Aalackai?" I looked towards Aalackai, who seemed busy eating. He ate robotically, almost like he was eating for just the substance.

  "I wouldn't mind ... if I did it with you two."

  "Great! Then it's settled. Lady Klemen, can you make sure a letter is sent on our behalf? We want to get started right away." I told her brightly.

  She eagerly agreed and ordered a maid to send word.

  The rest of the dinner went on without a hitch.

  Later that evening, after dinner settled in our tummies. Lilas and I talked about the past 4 years.

  "What about you, Aalackai? How was it at Sakas Academy?" I asked curiously.

  I sat on the sofa next to Aalackai, waiting for his response. While Lilas sat on an armchair across from us.

  "I didn't have the best time there... I am just glad to be back home with you guys. I missed you guys."

  "We missed you, too."

  "Hey, Lilas, come sit with us. I don't like it when you sit by yourself." I said. Aalackai patted the set next to him.

  "Ugh, only because you asked." He replied sarcastically.

  "So, do you think it'll be appropriate for us to have a sleepover?" I asked curiously, "It's not like we all aren't alphas here..." I noted.

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  Alphas don't usually mate with other alphas in this kingdom. So, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be found having an all-alpha sleepover. The only issue would be my birth gender... it gets a little trickier when it's a female alpha...

  Female alphas are supposed to be just like any other 2nd profile gender female identity submissive, but also someone with control over others who are seen as less than her.

  "I don't see why not. We'll be living together in the pack house sometime soon anyway. If anyone asks, we can just say we wanted to get some early practice in." Lilas commented.

  "Aalackai, how do you feel about a sleepover?"

  He hasn't had a sleepover with us in ages. I wonder if he'll find it uncomfortable after so long.

  "I agree with Lilas. It's good," He nodded, "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be back." Aalackai left the room quietly, almost like he was walking on air.

  I waited for a moment before I spoke. Wanting to make sure Aalackai was a good distance away.

  "Lilas, what are we going to do?" I asked.

  "Do what?"

  "Don't play stupid with me."

  "Relax, love. I have it all under control. Tonight I'll reinforce both our scent blocker spells."

  "And what else?"

  "I'll make sure you fall asleep next to me so you don't do any omega things in your sleep." He took a seat next to me.

  I nodded slowly.

  Why did I suggest the stupid sleepover?

  It just felt like the natural thing ... when you're reunited with her childhood, best friends.

  I took a slow breath.

  I found out early on that repressing my omega side had consequences.

  Lilas explained that his spell might have a side effect, but he doesn't even know the half of it... if he knew...

  "After Aalackai falls asleep, we'll sneak out of the room, meet up in my guest room, and do the spell from there. After that, we'll come back here and fall asleep like nothing ever happened." Lilas patted my hair gently and moved a strand of hair away from my face.

  We discovered that any... form of touch was good for an Omega.

  "Lilas, I think... you have to make it stronger than usual. You hear Aalackai, he doesn't seem fully in control of his pheromones. We can't let what happened earlier in the day happen again."

  "I'll make the spell stronger, but I'm not sure if your body can handle it anymore or this..." He trails off, then he looks at me with that look. The look he always gives me when he's about to talk about something I don't like.

  "I handle it." I bite out.

  "Kitayana, why don't we tell Aalackai?" He asked, almost pleading, he moved to hold my hand in his, "At least then he'll be more mindful around you, and you can get a break around us." I snatch my hand away from his and stand.

  "Do you think I want a break, Lilas?" I turn to face him, "I don't want anyone to know, and that includes him, too." I looked at him, hoping he would understand... hoping he would drop this.

  "Out of all the people in this kingdom, he would understand what you're going through." He said in defeat. Head leaning back, his body full of tension.

  "What we are going through." I hissed and stormed outside the room. I didn't wait for him to respond. I left the room before he could.

  He says you like that he isn't in the same boat as me.

  He may be a beta, but we're still in the same situation.

  "Kitayana, wait," Lilas called out.

  It doesn't matter the amount of time we have this conversation; it always ends the same.

  "Why? What's the point? We always reach the same conclusion," I glanced behind me before fully turning around.

  "You say you're worried about my body and I say I am fine," I bit out angrily, "Then you drop it for a few seconds before you move on to telling me that I should tell my family or my friends..."

  I pause for a second to catch my breath because it feels like... am going to drown in my impending tears.

  "This time you chose Aalackai..."

  My throat burns and... I don't know how much longer I can keep it all in.

  "Don't you get it?" I looked at him, imploring, "...I'd rather die than let anyone else know." I looked at him, frustrated, and looked back at me, defeated.

  "...It's bad enough that I have to rely on you to keep this secret, " I turned away, ashamed, "It was selfish of me to ask for your help." Lilas closed the space between us and hugged me.

  "I wanted to help. You didn't make me do anything. I chose this for myself." He reassured me as he swayed us side to side.

  "Then live with the choice you made." He was quiet and gave a curt nod.

  Because I am... and you have to accept that.

  "Kitayana, you hide from the rest of the world, but you can't hide from Aalackai. He's going to find out, and when he does, he's going to be hurt ."

  "I know... but the same goes for you," I whispered, "I just can't bring myself to tell him, and you can't either," I said into his chest.

  "Are we bad people?" Lilas asked slowly into my hair.

  It was the type of question I never thought he would ask.

  "No. Just scared ones."