“I—”
“Mister Nelson, be at ease~! No need to appease me. Just don’t do anything silly and you won’t be harmed~.”
She flicked her head, and Nelson’s HP was restored instantly.
“Thank you, Lady Helena.” Nelson stood in awkward silence while I began to enjoy the morbid cuddling.
“I wasn’t planning to show myself until Mister Frank joined my realm, but~!” She smiled, thanking Hexamalius for his negligence.
“That silly, smug child forgot one last thing~.” She stretched like a lazy cat, then leaned back, resting the back of her head against my bony chest.
Her living hair slithered over my skin, spreading like blackened veins, creeping across my body. It wrapped around my scalp and cheeks before pulling my chin down onto her head.
Sensing my impulse to hold her, she puppeteered my arms, guiding them around her tiny frame like a lover indulging a clumsy dance partner.
‘Let me do it myself, damn it.’
I tightened my embrace in misguided embarrassment. She simply snuggled closer, giggling like a girl being spoiled.
I was barely holding on, my body begging for rest. But the soft, petite, slightly chilly woman in my arms refused to let me go.
She was the most gorgeous girl I’d ever held. If this was my final moment, then—
‘At the end of the day, I am just a horny monkey.’
I concluded as my filial son rose to defend my honor.
Lady Helena felt my body heat gather in my loins. She readjusted herself, challenging my son head-on.
‘So eager~,’ she whispered directly into my mind.
Nelson seeing everything wanted to fuck off, his face clearly reflecting You know what? I’mma go. But he didn't move, he didn't know yet what could offend Lady Helena.
“Gentlemen, I shall complete that child’s lackluster work~”
Her hair slithered towards my pocket, taking out the worn-out golden ticket that the little girl had given me. Lifting it with care and placing it on the palm of her pale hand.
“This is the ticket Luminaria hands out to those of noble soul~.” Her hair bindings tightened, and her free hand clutched my thigh at the mention of Luminaria.
“But I am a bit confused~.” She furrowed her brows, tilting her head to the side.
“Mister Frank, you are not noble~.”
“It must be a kid. Frank the grumpy cunt tends to be soft to kids in shit situations.” Nelson loose lips informed Lady Helena.
“Oh, I see~” She readjusted herself, letting more of her weight press against my son—a direct mockery!
I held her tighter as a response, and slipped a hand onto her belly, lightly pressing on it.
‘You won’t eat me! I’ll eat you!’ My machismo pride gave me strength.
“Anyways~” she ripped the ticket in half. The pieces spun and began to project a pre-recorded hologram:
[I-It is on yet? Ahem—]
A woman played with her hair nervously. Her figure was hidden beneath a white nun habit with golden embroidery. Her golden hair reached her hips, adorned with a circlet of braided hair.
Nelson was stunned. I took one glance, confirmed she was stacked, and promptly lost interest, I already had a goddess to tend to.
My display of loyalty was rewarded by her placing her hands on top of mine.
[Congratulations! You have been chosen to join the marvelous world of WeltSiebenzehnhatsehrlangenamen!]
She announced excitedly, her ashen eyes sparkling.
“How the fuck she didn’t bite her tongue?”
“Mein Kaiserin!” cried Nelson in broken German, as he dramatically fixed his hair.
[It contains:]
a 2-cubic-meter dimensional bag!
3 HP potions that heal 300% of your HP and life force over time! (Expires in a month.)
5 MP potions that recover 50% of your MP instantly! (Expires in a month.)
2 teleportation scrolls
A weapon or staff befitting your class
2 minor skill orbs
A set of commoner clothes for easier blending in!
“Niceeee, a lot of free good stuff!” Nelson shouted excitedly, double fist-pumping, tactically ignoring me and Lady Helena as the situation escalated.
Meanwhile, I kept up my subtle ministrations. Lady Helena turned slightly less chilly and intentionally let out a heated moan.
‘Call me Eve, because I'm eating this forbidden fruit!’
[Enjoy your second life in the wonderful land of WeltSiebenzehnhatsehrlangenamen! Don’t forget to visit my temple for extra boons!]
With that, the projection ended. The ticket halves shone brightly, unraveling into streams of golden light before weaving themselves into white cloth bags embroidered with the same golden patterns as Luminaria’s nun’s habit, gently gliding toward us.
Nelson jumped to fetch the bag and sniffed it, expecting to catch a whiff of Luminaria’s scent.
He scowled as a rancid stench filled his nostrils—old people.
He shoved his hand into the bag, fishing out the skill orbs. Without hesitation, he pressed them against his chest, absorbing them instantly.
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
[Beggar Supporter]
[Effect:]
+20% chance of buying rare items from beggars for cheap!
+1% chance of finding an S-tier warrior among beggars.
[Godly Merchant Instincts]
[Effect:]
+15% chance of finding rare items in common stalls.
+35% chance of reselling items up to 300% of their price to desperate buyers
+10% success rate when playing the victim.]
“Money! Hehehe!” He rubbed his hands and smiled like an ugly bastard.
Meanwhile, Lady Helena fetched mine, a bundle of her hair surrounding the bag. The immaculate white and gold were devoured by jet black. The hair sewed itself into the bag, turning it black, repurposing the original cloth into embroidery: a white tombstone and a golden flower at its base.
Helena took the HP potions with an ecstatic smile, storing two and force-feeding me the third. She pried my jaw open, snapping me out of the pink aura and flaring my rage.
‘What the fuck!’
The potion’s effect began to restore my lost life force, and I thrashed, trying to free myself.
Her bindings tightened, more strands of her living hair coiling around me, ensuring I couldn’t budge. She thoroughly enjoyed my resistance.
‘Oh my~ did I press your sore spot~?’
She began redirecting my blood flow toward my son, subtly caressing my thighs and pressing her bottom against it.
‘I won’t give up my pride against this sadistic little shit!’
Just as my fingers dared to breach the gates of hell, she presented me with the bag, hanging from her living hair like ripe fruit on a branch.
“I improved her boring design~”
“Uh-huh,” I muttered, suspicious of her modifications.
She pouted slightly at my cutting response but still freed one of my hands so I could take the skill orbs.
[Empirical Veteran][Effect:]
+35% chance of finding a practical yet suboptimal method for an unknown procedure.
+25% chance of finding a practical yet functional method for an unknown or known procedure.
+10% chance of finding the proper method for an unknown procedure.
+5% chance of discovering an improved procedure for a known method.
+1% chance of leveling a class skill spontaneously during usage.
[Pattern Recognizer][Effect:]
+35% chance of finding circumstantial evidence.
40% faster conclusion speed.
60% faster paranoia gain.
"Don't lose your bag~, I'll be veeeery sad~," she purred.
"Ah yes, a threat disguised as advice. Thank you, oh merciful Helena."
I didn’t even realize I’d spoken out loud—nor did I catch her eyebrow rising in discontent.
I quickly lost interest in the bag and returned to my blasphemous touch, this time kneading below the belly button and creeping toward the Mons Gehenna.
She stopped my hand just as it almost reached the entrance.
"Be patient~." Her slightly labored breathing told me she was barely holding back.
Nelson decided to get away, far enough to ignore the imminent happenings.
"Mister Nelson, so thoughtful of you leaving us alone~." Lady Helena chose her words carefully to trigger my jealousy.
"You seem envious of Frank getting an extra skill~," she chuckled, cutting deep into Nelson’s psyche.
He looked as if his most hidden secret had been exposed. I’ve known him for over a decade—of course I know his envious, attention-whore behavior.
"I'll give you an extra skill, but in exchange~."
A bundle of her hair gathered in her small palm, forming a round ball, squirming like black snakes.
"I'll rob you of your sight and hearing for around four or five hours~, don’t worry, you’ll be healed when time’s up~!"
"I am thankful, but—"
Nelson tried to politely refuse, sensing imminent danger, but was cut short.
Lady Helena’s tone dropped a few degrees.
"It is a declaration, Mister Nelson, not a negotiation."
The bundle flew toward Nelson with a sonic boom. It crushed his eyes and eardrums before gagging his pained screams. The rest buried itself into his flesh, bestowing him with the promised skill.
Nelson writhed in pain, tried to peel off the hair, stumbled, and then just decided to sleep.
"Can you be less of a menace? You could send him to sleep if you wanted privacy," I scolded Lady Helena nonchalantly, convinced I was about to score.
"Can't risk peeping Toms~. You see, I get very… wild~!" Lady Helena confessed.
For a moment, she almost made me forget she was a horrifying goddess.
"Now, Mister Frank~."
Lady Helena freed me from her hair shackles and stood up with a playful jump, twirling before smiling at me… she was uncannily gorgeous.
I stood up, strafing toward her until I was right in front of her. She stimulated my survival instinct to ‘pass on my genes.’
"Oh, the look on your face lets me know I am your type~."
I just stared back, a knowing smile dripping with overconfidence.
"You know~, I was a mortal once~." She tiptoed and sandwiched my cheek in her cold hands.
"Really? The mighty Helena was once a puny human?"
I wrapped an arm around her lower back, pressing our bodies together. I found her coldness intoxicating.
"Yes~, and I still carry some primal needs," she smiled, her teeth sharpening into a grin full of predator fangs.
Without warning, she slammed me into the floor. Agitation, pain, and panic vanished—fueling my rage meter.
"YOU BLUE-BALLING BITCH!" I screamed, enraged.
"Oh my, Mister Frank, did you expect me to crave such low desires~?"
She mocked me, pushing my rage further.
She took out one of the two remaining potions and whispered something into it. The liquid became turbid, madder red.
She once again bound me with her living hair, making me fume even more.
"I SWEAR I’LL—" My threat was cut short as she forced my jaw open.
She walked toward me, stepping on me and digging her toe claws in just to infuriate me further.
I tried to thrash around, but to no avail.
She said nothing, only letting out soft chuckles as she poured the cursed potion into my open mouth. I tried to spit it out, but ended up gulping it down.
A searing heat enveloped me, but my thoughts were focused on nothing but unbridled anger.
I had no fucking idea what she was planning. But I hated being bound, and hated even more losing control of my own body—just like before I died.
"Mister Frank, your wrath bar is almost full~."
At that moment, her fa?ade began to crumble—her face showed a mixture of madness and arousal.
Her dress combusted into dark flames, exposing her corpse-pale skin. Even in the middle of this madness, I found her alluring.
She plopped down, straddling my abdomen. She dug her hand into her torso, staining her unblemished skin dark red.
With the most terrifying smile, she snapped her own rib with a sickening crack and jabbed it into my side, slowly sinking it in.
Her hair bindings tightened, cutting off my airflow and cracking my bones. She was pushing me to the edge.
I could feel my [Mental Resilience] reaching its critical point.
"Why don’t you explode, Mister Frank~?"
She caressed just below her belly button, never breaking eye contact, her touch deliberately suggestive.
Lastly, she whispered in my ear, "Inside me~."
She bit down and tore a chunk from my shoulder.
A system message flashed, but I didn’t even glance at it. My rational thinking plummeted.
With overwhelming force, I tore through the hair bindings, deep cuts opening along my arms. I bled profusely—steam rising from my body as the wounds began to heal.
"What are you going to do to me, Mister Frank~?"
I rolled to the side, pinning Lady Helena—Helena—under me.
Getting exactly what she wanted, she quivered, her labored breathing intensifying, her eyes widening in mad delight.
"You need correction, you teasing, cheeky shit."