I wasn’t sure how the booster worked, but I drew the pizza cutters from their holsters and thought, ‘Upgrade?’

  A notification popped up.

  Weapon Booster Activated.

  The following upgrades have been applied to Pizza Cutters:

  +Serrated Edges.

  +Auto-Spin.

  +Shield Emitters.

  Both cutters sparkled with a yellow sheen. I watched as the circular edges transformed from straight to serrated. They spun automatically, blurring with destructive speed, emitting a high-pitched metallic whine.

  “Hell yeah!”

  A luminous, circular forcefield, projected from each.

  “Cool! And they’re shields too?” I laughed. “Badass!”

  I performed several criss-cross slashes, swiping through the air as if I was performing a martial arts kata. I even threw in a couple of body spins just for good measure, before slamming them both back into their holsters.

  “Let’s go find this orb.”

  ----

  I advanced into a machine shop when ERNI chirped with some new intel.

  “I have uncovered an unfortunate bit of data.”

  “Yeah? Go on.”

  “I have intercepted and unscrambled part of an encrypted message on the ISL internal network. The origin appears to be from the Commissioner’s office.”

  “Krivlax?”

  “There appears to be a bounty of 20 million credits on your head.”

  “A bounty?! What?” My mind raced. “But, why me? I’m a nobody.”

  “The message details not wanting to be embarrassed by the ‘Puny Pizza Earthling.’”

  “Wait a minute,” I smirked, “They’re afraid of me?”

  “I am not sure, based on the context of the message. It could be that they are more concerned about the humiliation of an incomplete planet purge. To my knowledge, you are the first planet purge survivor to gain actual entry into Slayer Bowl as a competitor.”

  I could immediately see the threat that shame might pose for someone of Krivlax’s power and reach. It would be like watching an ant walk into your kitchen and saying, “Sit down, bitch. That’s my milk.”

  Okay, maybe not… but that was a fun way to imagine it.

  “20 million credits, huh?” I mulled aloud. “Is that a lot?”

  “Not really. But, it would be enough to entice some of the fringe competitors who wouldn’t mind accepting a DNF from the tournament in exchange for a quick cash payout.”

  “Huh…” I didn’t know whether to be impressed or insulted.

  Still, this posed a very real risk, and one I would have to deal with as I pursued orb retrieval.

  What I really needed was some type of Spidey-Sense, ESP upgrade—especially with would-be assassins using cloaking mechanisms to hide themselves from my map.

  “ERNI, I know you don’t have heat vision or audio detection capabilities… but, besides visual scanning, what other environmental sensors do you have?”

  “I am equipped with the essential environmental sensors to preserve and protect my user. Here is a handy list…”

  Environmental Sensors:

  - Temperature

  - Air Quality (oxygen percentage, particulate matter, toxic gases)

  - Radiation Levels

  - Atmospheric Pressure

  - Chemical Hazards

  - Biological Hazards (pathogens, venoms, toxins)

  - Light Levels

  My geeky mind was racing. How do you spot a ghost that you can’t see? I thought about all of the AI prompts I had written in school, and wondered if there was some way to use ERNI’s sensors to detect invisible enemies.

  “ERNI, could you established a baseline, hybrid, multi-sense mapping of every environment we walk into, cross-referencing gas levels, room temperature, and atmospheric pressure?”

  “Of course.”

  “And, would you be able to measure small, fractional changes to that baseline on a second-by-second basis?”

  ERNI was silent for a moment as he ran the calculations.

  “Yes.”

  “Would that tax your neural processor to where you wouldn’t be able to help me with other simultaneous tasks?”

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  “Not in the least. I am equipped with a Cosmo QuantumCore Zyrilliumite processor with a clock speed of 1.4 Pentaherz and 4.9 billion quantum-tunneling cores. This equips me with the capability of handling more than 2.4 sextillion simultaneous calculations at an energy efficiency of—“

  “Yeah, okay, I get it!” I interrupted. “You’ve got a big-ass brain.”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Well, use it to create and run my proposed scenario on an ongoing basis and label it ‘Ghost Detector’.”

  “Ghost Detector?”

  “Yeah. Hopefully, it should help us find them before they find us.”

  “As you wish.”

  New Sub-Directive: Ghost Detector Activated.

  The map in my lower right now had a gentle, sweeping pulse that started from the center, rippling outward, kind of like sonar.

  “Sweet. Thanks.”

  As I punched through cobwebs and wove through twisted pipes, I marveled at the fact that a single human like me could pose such a threat to an intergalactic organization headquartered a cosmos away. I wondered what Krivlax thought of me and imagined what it would be like if we ever met face to face.

  I fantasized about drawing my pizza cutters and slashing that green, smug-smiling head right off his shoulders. But that would have to wait. More red dots flared on my map and the orb was now fifty meters away.

  I stood at the edge of a drop-off, peering down a ladder that led into darkness. I saw a pulsing glow affecting the shadows every few seconds below.”

  “The orb’s down there.”

  “I agree with your assessment.”

  I flipped through my playbook and spotted the Myopia Madness Play.

  Myopia Madness Play.

  Causes Extreme Temporary Enemy Nearsightedness.

  I thought ’Run’ and the play square flashed, then grayed out.

  Running: Myopia Madness Play.

  I heard an immediate series of howls from the darkness below. As I scrambled down the ladder, I asked—

  ME: Hey, ERNI… why did that play gray out?

  ERNI: All plays in your playbook are single-use, unless otherwise indicated.

  ME: Great…

  Mission: Kill Monster Mob.

  I splashed onto the grimy floor of the lower level. I could see dozens of Gas Hoppers, holding their heads, clawing at their eyes in rampant frustration.

  A clear face-shield automatically sealed off my helmet.

  Armor Gas Protection Activated.

  I grinned. This made perfect sense. The armor that I looted from the other Gas Hoppers had built-in protection from their own toxins. Probably intended to prevent friendly fire.

  “Thanks!”

  “SHIIING!”

  I drew my pizza cutters and launched into a solid sprint. Both pizza cutters spun up to full speed, unleashing a hellish whine. They shrieked through the air like a harbinger of death for these blind-ass bugs just ahead of me.

  I reached the cluster of Gas Hoppers and got to slicing. I hacked and slashed my way through the hive as each bug popped into a green cloud of goo and gas. This time my health gauge didn’t take a single hit. I even got a notification for a—

  Mission Complete: Kill Monster Mob.

  Reward: +60,000 Points!

  New Trophy! Blind Fury.

  Reward: +10,000 Points!

  Auto-Looted Gas Hoppers.

  No Items Acquired.

  I lowered the pizza cutters and the blades winded down. I looked at them and grinned like a kid on Christmas.

  “Badass…”

  I holstered the pizza cutters and noticed a flashing light bouncing off a wall up ahead. The source of the light was coming from around the corner. I imagined it had to be the orb.

  According to my map, there were no more enemies in sight, and the Ghost Detector hadn’t triggered yet. I rounded the corner and there it was, hovering mid-air, glowing like a nuclear basketball. As I looked at it, an info box popped above.

  Orb: Advance to a Scoring Zone for an Orbdown.

  Mission Complete: Retrieve Orb.

  Reward: +30,000 Points!

  New Trophy! First Orb.

  Reward: +10,000 Points!

  Level Up! You Have Reached Level 2!

  Reward: +150,000 Points!

  New Class! You Have Leveled Up From ‘Hopeless Rookie’ to ‘Dough Boy.’

  New Abilities:*

  +5% Faster Healing.

  +5% Striking Power.

  Mission: Reach Scoring Zone.

  “Dough Boy? Really?”

  These upgraded class names were insulting.

  I approached the orb cautiously, kinda like Indiana Jones walking up to that golden statue thingy. Only, I didn’t have a bag of sand to swap it out with. I didn’t know if a bunch of poison darts or arrows or a giant boulder were going to swing out from the rafters to try and take me out. I just had to go for it.

  I rubbed my chin, reached out, and snatched the orb straight out of the air. It was lighter than I imagined. I tensed, bracing for the impact of any deadly booby traps headed my way. After a moment, nothing happened, and I realized I was okay.

  “Alright, ERNI… go ahead and put this bad boy in the inventory.”

  “Orbs are not permitted inside your inventory. You must physically carry them into a scoring zone.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “It is one of the challenges of the game. If another warrior were to steal your orb, that would be considered a turnover. You would automatically be teleported to another part of the global game map and must search for an orb all over again.”

  “What the hell, man? What’s the point of going through all of this hassle if somebody else can just steal the orb from me?”

  “Are you familiar with interceptions and fumbles in American football?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I understand the concept. Fine. Let’s just get this thing to the scoring zone and fast.”

  “The nearest scoring zone has been populated onto your map.”

  I looked at the map and a pulsing green circle icon hovered at the top edge. A distance-to-target indicator listed it at three kilometers away. I stuffed the orb inside my rucksack, making sure I didn’t crush Count Basil. Who knows… maybe its glowing light might actually help the little guy.

  I made my way out of the factory complex and back out onto the street. There was no way to drive through. I was going to have to make it on foot.

  I started at a light jogger’s pace, remembering my training from cross country. ‘Don’t start hot!’ the coach used to yell at us. ‘Save your energy! Pace yourself! It’s the hotshots that fire off the line that burn out way before they get to the finish.’

  I remembered that, and I also remembered that my lungs didn’t used to burn like this ten years ago. Still, I was in good enough shape and I kept to a seven-minute mile pace. Several times along the way, I tensed up as red and yellow dots danced around the peripheral edges of my map. The yellow dots dissipated, but the red dots didn’t. They were closing in.

  “Monsters incoming,” I huffed.

  “Remember, the orb emits pheromones that are extremely attractive to monsters. They are drawn to it like a tracking beacon.”

  “Great.”

  I picked up my pace. Even though this armor was lighter and more comfortable than the rust job, it didn’t seem to offer any speed-augmentation abilities. Nor was it designed for fast running. On a whim, I wondered if leaping would make me travel faster. And that’s when the armor really started to shine.

  Almost immediately, I found myself run-hopping instead of jogging. With each bounding leap, I covered nearly half a city block through the air, before landing and jumping again.

  To be honest, I felt like an idiot and I’m sure I looked like one too. But, the armor was getting the job done. The red dots that had been trailing me receded into the distance.

  “Haha, suckers!”

  “According to phylogenetic entries, Gas Hoppers are not classified as suckers. Perhaps, you are thinking of leeches?”

  Ah, good old ERNI. Always good for a textbook answer.

  Up ahead, I saw a green, three-dimensional arrow rotating in the air, pointing down at a circular zone on the ground. The area was about the size of an inner-city fountain. The whole zone pulsed with hypnotic, neon green. I felt it beckoning me…

  ’Come here, warrior. Drop off your orb. Come get these points. You’re a total badass.’

  I was nearly there when several notification flashed across my HUD:

  Mission Complete: Reach Scoring Zone.

  Mission: Kill Boss Monster.

  “Uhhhh, what?” I said, looking around. “ERNI, what the hell is this about?”

  “Each scoring zone is defended by a monster boss. This is an essential part of the game’s defense systems.”

  “Great,” I thought. “Then where the hell is the boss?”

  And that’s when I turned and saw it.